Ah, hello! Welcome! You are reading I'm Messed Up and Proud! This is one of the chapters that I have indeed edited so do not fear, terrible grammar and awful spelling mistakes won't be in your way (hopefully)
Just in case you are unaware, I don't own Naruto - shocking, right?
Enjoy the chapter!
- - - - - - - - - -
(Lian's POV)
Humming the James Bond theme tune, I glance around trying to try and find where everyone is hiding. I am personally behind a variety of rocks that look like they're there for decoration more than anything else. Sasuke is probably somewhere with a height advantage so I bet he'll be up in a tree somewhere, Sakura probably tried to follow him and lost him so...probably a bush or something.
Now Naruto is the wild card, he could be anywhere from the trees, the grass, the lake, the middle of the battlefield with absolutely no cover whatsoever. Nice.
Kakashi seems to be just as baffled as I am but. I mean. Did I really expect more?
I'm not going to call what I witness a fight, because it's more taunting and why is Kakashi reading one of those books right now? Disgusting... You know, I sometimes regret learning how to read after accidentally coming across one of them books. I swear, if I ever meet the author I'm gonna -
"A thousand years of death!"
"AH!"
And Naruto went soaring, flying across the field and straight into the lake. I facepalmed, surely leaving a mark. Good aim, but should Kakashi really have stuck his fingers up Naruto's butt? Seems more than a bit dodgy, sir.
It was only a few a moment or two of peace before an army of Narutos appeared out of the lake! Last I checked, he was rubbish at this jutsu! What happened? And he's attacking Kakashi! That's awesome!
Until it, of course, isn't.
Naruto, not exactly the sharpest kunai of the bunch, appears to now be brawling with himself. Kakashi is nowhere to be seen.
I use this opportunity to prepare my weapons for an attack. Knowing Kakashi, he hasn't gone far and I need to get one of the bells! Looking in my pouch, I take out a set of kunai knives already prepared for an attack and strap them onto my upper arms, connecting them to my belts.
Ha! You thought these belts were just a fashion statement? I mean, they were until I came up with an idea that'll put them to use!
"I get it! I get it!" I hear Naruto yell. Wonder what he's got himself into now.
Peeking around the decorative rocks, I look to see what all the commotion is and sweatdrop at the sight of Naruto hanging upside down from the tree.
"I'm only telling you this because you clearly don't get it," Kakashi explained in his 'I'm a responsible adult voice' which I've personally heard too many times, "Thinking you get it isn't actually the same as getting it, get it?"
Both Naruto and I stare at Kakashi with confused looks on our faces. I mean they don't know how nearby I am but I'm sure they can sense the confusion.
It was then as Kakashi continued that I sensed it; danger! Now, I don't have any spider-sense or superpowers like that, but when you see a flurry of kunai knives flying past you kind of get a sense of danger. Thankfully they weren't heading towards me but towards Kakashi!
With a couple of thuds, the knives were lodged in him and for a split second I worried someone actually got him, but then he changed into a log! Wood you believe it?!
"Epic!" I cheered, jumping from my hiding spot and scaring Naruto, "A log for a sensei!"
"Lian!"
"What's up, Naruto?" I ask innocently. "Need a hand?"
"Um, yes please."
I climbed the tree easily enough and walked along the branch to where the rope was tied. I cut the rope quickly enough and hopped out the tree.
"Thanks Lian, I really owe you - WOAH!"
"How did you get stuck in another trap?! I just got you out of one!" I sighed.
"Please help me!" Naruto pleaded, swinging side to side and trying to grab onto something, anything for support. "My head hurts!"
I smirk, "Will you buy me ramen?"
"Fine! Now get me down! Please!"
And so I went up the tree again, deja vu, am I right?
Naruto landed smoothly on his feet surprisingly enough, this time cautiously looking at the ground for any more traps.
"Right," he said after I jumped down beside him, "Time to find Kakashi!" And off he went.
"Wait!" I called, pointing in the other direction, "He went that way!"
"How do you know?"
"I don't, but I had to get your attention somehow." I rolled my eyes. "Listen, why don't we work together?"
Naruto looked at me sadly, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry Lian, but we're up against each other and I've gotta get one of them bells if I wanna be Hokage someday! Believe it!" And he's off again.
I facepalm myself a couple more times. "But there are two bells..."
My self-assault was cut off short when I heard a high pitched scream, my first thought being:
"SASUKE!" then realising:
"Oh, wait... SAKURA!"
And like a fool in a horror movie, I ran towards the screaming and ended up in a clearing.
Might as well stick with the horror movie cliche. "Hello?" I called out to absolutely no one."
"Hello, Lian." I got a response! "Nice to see you."
I whirl round to face Kakashi and quickly bring my foot up.
"Ow..." Kakashi groaned, falling to his knees in pain
Quickly, I yanked the bells off his side. "Wow, is it that easy to defeat a male ninja?"
It was only as I was about to make my great escape did I realise no, of course, it wouldn't be that easy. My ankles were gripped and I yelled as I hit the ground, the bells jingling away from me.
"No!"
"Now now, Lian, you shouldn't underestimate your sensei." Kakashi teased, jingling the bells in front of me.
"You're a guardian first, sensei second, old man," I grumbled.
"Hey! I'm not that old."
"Why's your hair like that then?" I grinned, sitting up and crossing my arms over and without warning yanking my green belts. Kunai knives appeared out of what seemed like complete nowhere, falling like rain all around Kakashi.
As he was leaping away from the knives, I stuck a paper bomb onto a kunai knife and threw it in anticipation to where Kakashi would be landing next. He leapt behind a series of rocks just as the knife landed beside him.
"Boom." I grinned.
And boom it was! G-Man is real handy with those special powered paper bombs.
Looking to where the bomb went off, a huge area was coloured black with soot but...no Kakashi. He got away unharmed which is, I guess, a good thing since he isn't injured. Bad thing since I still don't have a bell.
I wonder if the others are having any luck.
I hurry off and find another opening where Kakashi stands proudly above the head of Sasuke.
...yup, just the head.
"There you are!" I yelled, pointing at Kakashi. "I thought I got you!"
"Well, you thought wrong," he said then suddenly something changed. "Oh dear, well, I best be off if we want to keep our lunch." And then he disappeared in a puff of smoke. Keep our lunch? What'd he mean by that?
I turn to Sasuke and snigger making him flinch.
"Hey, Sasuke - "
"Don't."
"You wanna go to this party with me? It looks like you have nobody to go with." I laugh. "Get it? Since you're just a head!"
"It's even less amusing now that you explained it."
"Fair. So, hey, need a hand?" I decide to offer, play nice with my new teammates.
Sasuke nodded his head. Oh, that ain't gonna cut it.
"Sorry, what was that?" I taunted, a grin plastered on my face.
"Yes, please."
"Please what?" Okay, maybe I'm being a bit mean but this is fun. It isn't every day you get an opportunity like this.
"Yes! Please help me!" Sasuke yelled, a little angry mark appearing on his forehead.
I rolled my eyes, "No need to yell! Now, hold still."
I grabbed his duck hair and his eyes widened as I started pulling.
"OW!"
"Hold on! It's working!"
"It isn't!"
"Just wait!"
"OW!"
"Huh...?" Sakura said, appearing from the trees.
Well. This is awkward.
"Sakura - " Sasuke began to say before she started screaming at the top of her lungs! And then fainted.
We both stare at the pink haired girl as she collapses.
"Okay, let's try this again," I say turning back to Sasuke. "On the count of three, and really wiggle your legs this time."
"Wiggle my legs?" he deadpanned.
"Yeah, like you're swimming." I grabbed his hair once more. "One, two...three!" And with one solid yank, he was free! "Yahoo - oof!" Okay, this duck-haired boy is heavy! "Get off!"
It took a moment for us to catch our breath and glance towards where Sakura still lay unconscious. We both sigh in unison and go to check on her.
"Sakura," Sasuke says, shaking her shoulder a bit to try and wake her up. This'll take forever. I take out my flask of water and pour some of that over her making her splutter and sit up.
"AH! Sasuke!" and then she starts crying? Wrapping her arms around the poor guy.
I snigger at his distraught expression, trying to remove the sobbing girl off of him.
Unfortunately, my amusement came to an end as we all heard the bell ring. The three of us sighed in disappointment and began the trek back to the starting point where we see Naruto tied to a pole.
I grin, "Hey, Naruto, I see you're a little tied up, huh?"
"Please stop the puns."
"Was that even a proper pun? I was just making an observation."
"In any case," Kakashi said, "I've made my decision."
We all stopped and stared, wondering if we passed, waiting in antici...