Hey guys! i have but two words for you atm, Holy. Fuc-dgecakes. Holy Fudgecakes. (Quote Liam Payne) over 1000 reads! thankyou so much!!!!!!!!!! just made my day :) so on with the story :) just realised i haven't even introduced all of One Direction. tbh im quite disappointed with myself. Story time..... Love you all :)
Chapter 13
I woke up the next morning feeling like absolute shit. There’s no other way to put it. My head was thumping, which is weird considering I didn’t have anything to drink, the whole in my chest still aching, my body feeling like a shell, nothing inside of me.
I groaned and rolled over in my bed, willing myself to go back to sleep. I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position where I can’t feel the brokenness inside of me. My soul felt like it had been torn to shreds, my heart no longer in my chest. An image of Louis, standing there on the side of the road, eyes welling with tears, a sharp pain stabbed through my chest. But that pain was nothing compared to when I saw him kissing her, stabbing me in the back instead.
I attempted to drag myself up and out of my bed, feeling like I should be hungry, but I just wasn’t. I felt as if I ate, the food would just fall straight back out of the hole in the center of my body. Gross, yeah, but I feel gross. I feel incomplete. Like a piece of me is missing, and I know, that Lou is the missing part of me.
I grabbed the pillow on the other side of my bed, and pressed my face into it. Big mistake; this pillow had Louis’ smell all over it. I inhaled the scent deeply, closing my eyes and imagining his strong arms wrapped around me, protecting me from the world.
But he’s not.
He’s probably off with her somewhere, making out, not even giving a thought to me, sitting here wallowing in my own pain and misery. Well not anymore. Determined do to something to get him off my mind, I managed to pull myself off of the bed and took one step towards the door before collapsing into a groaning heap.
Zayn’s POV
Thump. Followed by Harry’s groaning. Oh fuck, what has he done now? I ran from my room to his, to find him sprawled out on the floor, his arms wrapping themselves around him, as if trying to hold him in one piece. Shit. ‘Haz, Haz! Are you okay?’ I saw him grimace slightly at my use of Louis’ nickname for him but soon forgot and went back to holding himself together.
‘C’mon Harry. Talk to me!’ he groaned again and attempted to say hi but came out more like ‘H-ughhhhhhh’. I chuckled without humour and extended my hand out to him ‘C’mon mate, let’s get you back up in bed’ he tried to reach for my hand but fell back in pain, moaning and tears beginning to form in his eyes.
I scooped him up in my arms and carried him to his bed. When he was safely on the bed, I arranged us so he was leaning on my chest, his head tucked into the crook of my neck. It wasn’t until I felt the warm trickle of water droplets running down my chest that I realised that he was crying. I hugged him closer as he began to let out sobs, snivelling into my shirt.
I hugged him until the sobs turned into hiccups and he slowly pulled away from me, his eyes searching mine, for what I’m not entirely sure. I looked at him properly. His eyes were red and puffy from crying but I could see the green in his eyes had faded to a murky green, mixed with grey and the usual sparkle in his eye had gone.
Not only his eyes, I could see it in his face. His face was pale and looked vaguely droopier. I could see that this had hurt him terribly inside. ‘Harry, you wanna talk?’ I looked at him worriedly, wondering if he was going to talk. I highly doubt it.
He shook his head slightly before collapsing into my chest again, I was right. I massaged his head lightly, brushing the curls out of his face and kissing his forehead every now and then. We sat nestled together the entire day, me only moving to go to the bathroom and help Harry to the bathroom, and to get food for Harry and I.
Harry never ate, but I always got enough food for him too. He looked so broken, so fragile. I moved him with such care and tenderness that I was afraid he might break if I lay one wrong finger on him. It broke my heart to see him like this.
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A week had passed since the party, and Harry was still stuck in this stage of depression. He had barely eaten, barely spoken, he had lost so much weight he was only skin and bones and all the colour in his eyes was gone, now just a dull grey. He looked awful. We had slept in the same bed every night and almost 3 times every night I have woken up to Harry sobbing and his arms holding himself together. He was fading away, anyone could see that.
After another day of Harry sobbing, me calming him, and him sobbing some more, I finally snapped. I can’t just sit around here and let Harry feel sorry for himself, and we don’t even know how Louis is reacting. I’m pretty sure he’d be similar to Harry but I need to check. I excused myself, grabbed his phone and as I walked out the door, I saw his eyes follow me out of the room, worried about being left alone no doubt.
As I stepped into the living room, I scrolled through his contacts until I found ‘The most sexy amazing perfect person I have ever met a.k.a Louis Tomlinson my boyfriend <3’ he really should not have let Louis put his number in his phone. I hit talk and paced around the living room as I listened to the tone drone on and on. Just when I was about to hang up, I heard some yelling, whimpering and an exasperated sigh ‘Hello?’ a very weary voice answered the phone, but the voice didn’t belong to Louis.
Even with its layers of tiredness, worry and frustration, the voice was vaguely soothing and kind of sexy. I began to imagine what the person that this voice belonged to looks like, a dirty brown hair, deep brown eyes, just overall attractive- ‘Hellooooooo?’ the voice enquired. ‘Oh hey, sorry. Who’s this? I thought it was Louis, I must’ve gotten the wrong num-’ the voice cut me off ‘Hey, yeah no this is Louis’ phone, but this is Liam talking. Louis isn’t really up for talking to you Harry at the moment..’ he trailed off.
Liam. I like it, it suits him. Then I realised he still thought it was Harry ‘Yeah this isn’t actually Harry, this is Zayn, Harry’s roommate’ Liam sighed on the other side of the line. ‘Oh, well as I just said, I’m Liam and I’m Louis’ friend from home. We grew up together’ then I heard him excuse himself from Louis and shuffle through the house until he was in another room probably.
‘Well thank GOD you called Zayn. Louis has not moved from his bed for a week straight. I am beginning to go insane. I have barely spoken to anyone because Louis was afraid it had something to do with Harry but I couldn’t really understand between his sobs’ I sighed as well ‘Harry’s been exactly the same. I haven’t even managed to get what happened out of him. Did Lou tell you what happened?’ Liam sighed again and I could almost feel his warm breath on my ear and cheek through the phone, sending tingles down my spine.
Zayn, stop it. This is not the time for thinking about how hot you think the guy on the other end of this line is before you have even met him.
‘He said he was talking to that woman, what was her name, he kept calling her Miss Hine, Miss Hane..’ ‘Miss Hearne’ I told him. ‘Yeah, her. Anyway, so he was talking to her and she was flirting with him and he was telling her to go away and then she kissed him and that’s what Harry saw. That’s all he managed to get out before he completely broke down again’ I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. So Louis didn’t mean to do this to Harry, it was all Ms Hearne.
Fucking bitch. Ugh, I hate her so much right now, but that’s beside the point. ‘I think Louis and Harry really need to talk. But I highly doubt Harry’s just going to sit there and talk to him, especially without breaking down in tears. And judging by what he’s been saying in his sleep, I don’t think he wants to talk to Louis, full stop.’ Liam chuckled slightly in amusement.
His laughter, no matter how tired and worn down, was melodical. I felt my chest warm slightly inside of me. ‘And what exactly has Harry been saying about my poor Lou in his sleep?’ I rolled my eyes at his joking possessiveness of the boy, but Liam couldn’t see it ‘He was just muttering things like jerk, dick, deusch, prick, fucker and then throwing the occasional Lou in there so I sort of assumed that he was talking about your poor Lou’ I said the last part with the most sarcasm I could muster, but nevertheless, what I just said, it was all true.
Harry mumbles and sometimes even cries in his sleep. Liam chuckled again and I closed my eyes, soaking up every part of it. ‘My poor Lou’ he repeated absentmindedly. After that, we talked for about another 25 minutes about ourselves, getting to know each other, (he gave me his phone number eeeeeekkkkk!!!!!) and saying absolutely nothing about Lou and Harry, besides mentioning them once or twice, but nothing about the little predicament we’re currently in, before I heard a faint cough coming from the bedroom ‘Zaynie?’ he called faintly to me.
I laughed at his little nickname for me ‘Coming HareBear’ I had learned to not say Haz or Hazza anymore, cause that reminded him too much of Louis. ‘Sorry Liam, I gotta go. Ill text you later, yeah?’ I asked hopefully ‘Okay Zaynypie! I’ll be looking forward to it!’ I could hear the smile in his voice as I chuckled at his ridiculous nickname for me. ‘Bye Li’ ‘Bye Zayn’ and with that, we both hung up and I tossed Harry’s phone across the bench, leaning back onto the fridge and sighing.
He sounds amazing. Another muffled ‘Zayynnnnnnnnn!!’ came from Harry’s bedroom. I walked down the hall and into his room to see him sitting there, looking extremely worried ‘What were you doing Zaynie?’ he seemed so innocent, and vaguely hurt that I hadn’t told him what I was doing.
‘I was just on the phone bub, don’t worry’ he pouted for a second ‘Who?’ so child-like. Adorable. ‘Don’t even worry hun’ I smiled as genuinely as I could, but it was a bit hard considering I wasn’t currently speaking to Liam. He seemed to believe it and summoned me over to the bed, patting the spot next to him.
I sat down and he wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head against my chest and I kissed his forehead for what seems like the millionth time in the last week, but I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Liam.
We fell asleep in this same position, Harry resting on my chest and my brain completely occupied by Liam. Just needing to meet him, to touch him, to speak to him face to face. I want him and I’ve never met him, I’ve only spoken to him for half an hour in my entire lifetime and I need him. Oh God Zayn, what is wrong with you?