Stop trying so hard for people who don't care
Chapter 12: You. Are. Just. Like. Me.
When I walked in school this morning, no one focused on me anymore. The gossip was still going around but I tried my best to ignore it. They thought the worst of me and I couldn't do anything about it.
I approached my locker expecting spray paint on it like last time. Instead I was greeted with my usual locker that looked at peace.
Cautiously, I put in my locker combination. There possibly could be more letters, the old letters will still be there or even something worse. I looked around expecting a camera being shot my way but things seemed almost normal.
I swung the door opened and grabbed some of my books. They were all neatly stacked just how I left them before the letters were there. Jordan must've cleared it out since he was the only one who knew my combination. One thing went through my mind was, how did they get in my locker? I still wondered 'til this way how they got in the last time. This was violation to my privacy even though I had any personal things in there.
I was still hurt, so hurt that revenge almost seemed like the only solution. But that would only make things worse. Besides how would I get back at all those people who commented? It wasn't as easy as it sounded.
I didn't tell Aunt Cali about any of it. Knowing her she would go straight to the principal. The principal would most probably try to shut down the website. People would end up hating me even more, none of that was necessary.
When she got a message from the school, notifying her of my absence yesterday, she had asked if I was sick again. I lied to her that it was indeed a case of the flu. I know that she knew I was lying since I couldn't lie to save my life.
Thankfully Jordan was there and confirmed that I was sick. It didn't feel right lying to her but bothering her with my problems was the last thing I wanted to do. She already did so much for me.
I went onto the website again like I had the many other times. When I refreshed the page, the video was gone. I wasn't sure who got the website committee to take it down. Even if the video wasn't present, there were still some people who had it—Kyle sent it to most of the seniors.
I was just glad that the comments were no longer physically there. But I had every single one of them imprinted in my mind. I shouldn't have read them more than three times.
All those people I knew who they were. Every person entered the website with their email and they made up a username that had to contain their name. It was supposed to ensure that people wouldn't create fake accounts. But what they should've been doing was making sure there was no bullying. The initial purpose was to make people aware of what was happening around the school, not with the students.
Just when I thought that my day wouldn't be that bad, Emily showed up. She had a devilish look when she glanced at me. I couldn't tell her to leave me alone because her locker was right next to mine. This was why I always made an early stop to my locker, to avoid her.
"Well, well, well. Back so soon?"
I ignored her and grabbed my things just to get as far away from her.
"Are you mute or something?" She shut my locker in my face. I jumped from her surprise attack but was entirely annoyed with her.
"Are you an apodal or something?" I retorted.
"What the f*ck is that?"
"You would know if you'd pay a visit to the library instead of to the boys locker room." I had no filter to my words.
"I'm not the two-timer here." She gave me her famous grim smile.
I looked at her blankly still processing her words. "Last time I heard you were with three guys last week."
"At least I can get a guy without something tragic having to happen to me."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Jordan just feels sorry for you because of what happened. Do you really think he would actually be with you?" She looked me up and down cringing at me.
"He doesn't even care that you were with Kyle. It's a great way for him to let you down gently. Face it Waltz, a guy would never think you're pretty. You are just a rebound who stupidly cheated on her boyfriend. Or should I say ex-boyfriend."
"I didn't cheat on him."
"Two-timing, cheating, playing, screwing, playing house—call it what you want. We all saw what went down at the café." She moved closer making me intimidated by her height. The heels gave her a much taller length.
I didn't move back not wanting to give her the satisfaction that she had an effect on me.
"What exactly did you see? Two people having a chat was all it was." I rhetorically asked but she clearly didn't get the memo.
"The romantic gestures justify all of that as well as what Kyle told the whole school." She leaned down staring me in the eyes. "We all know that he wouldn't lie about such a thing. That's his playground and he doesn't f*ck around about what goes on there." She quietly said with the same hard tone.
"How do you know he's not lying?"
"I guess I don't but who they going to believe? A girl with glasses that people barely know or the popular jock with a reputation." She moved back and folded her arms across her chest. Her eyebrow rose up with a questioning look.
Kyle and Emily used each other, whether it was screwing each other for their pleasure or helping the other with a problem. In this case I suspected that Emily asked Kyle to do all the things he's been doing to me. It was just like last time.
I went back to taking my books out, ignoring everything she just said. She was trying to torment me. She wanted me to finally break in front of everyone.
"Slut." She sneered.
"I'm not a slut." I gritted through my teeth.
"You are just as bad as me. Sure, I play with many hearts at one go but you did the exact thing. Here you are dating the hottest guy in the school but you're found flirting with another guy. You. Are. Just. Like. Me."
I slammed my hand against the lockers. "No, I'm not." I yelled. Her eyes widened at my unexpected outburst. I was blown at what I just did. I never cracked but I was done with her nonsense.
I briefly closed my eyes then opened them again. Emily had her usually look back on and I scowled at her. I took my last book and shut my locker closed. There were eyes on me but I was used to it.
"We both know I'm nothing like you and I never will be. You know that Kyle's words are rumours and you know that the videos are falsely interpreted." I told her with as much confidence I could pull.
"Why don't you go confront your little side dish now?" She said with her eyes focusing on something behind me.
"Hey there, gorgeous. I missed you yesterday." I felt a hand rake my hair. I should start tying my hair up. I turned around ready to oddly take Emily's advice and address Kyle. The day before I didn't see him anywhere but now he was here.
"You." I jabbed my finger in his chest with a new-found confidence. "You did this."
"What did I do?" He formed his face into a confused look. Anger built up inside of me.
"You know exactly what you did! You went around spreading rumours about me. What's wrong with you?! Are you trying to ruin my life?" I yelled at him getting the attention of everyone. My hands were flying different directions as I expressed myself.
He grabbed my wrist stopping me from rambling. I tried yanking it but his grip was strong. Using my other hand was useless since he took a hold of it. I was now against the lockers with both of my hands pressed down against the metal.
"Calm down." He whispered. "Can't I just have a bit of fun?" My breath hitched while he smirked.
"Let go of me. You're drawing attention." I quietly said through my teeth.
"But you like the attention. Don't you, Ray?"
"Go to hell." I spat.
"As long as you're there." He bit his lip, raking his eyes up and down.
He inched closer by the second. His eyes flickered to my lips and I knew what he was going to do. I moved around trying to get out of his grip.
"Stop."
"I told you, I always get what I want." His eyes turned a darker shade filled with lust. I was disgusted. He was no more playing around, he had determination written all over him.
We were a few inches from each other and if he moved any closer our lips would touch. I was still struggling but he was much stronger than me. His radiating heat making me hyperventilate.
He leaned forward and my eyes closed shut. I waited for the dreaded thing to happen until his hands let go of my wrist. The sound of something being slammed to the locker caused my eyes to fly open.
I gasped when I saw Jordan holding Kyle by his shirt against the lockers. He had a hard look on, Kyle appeared nearly scared. Jordan was scary when he was furious and you wouldn't want to mess with him. You would think he was a nice guy until you knew his dark side.
"Let me get one thing straight, touch my girlfriend again and I won't hesitate to put you in the ER." Jordan told him making every word clear. "Okay?"
"What if I don't want to?" Kyle quirked up a fearless smile.
Jordan slowly laughed with no humour. "I don't think you heard me." His smile disappeared when he slammed Kyle against the locker once again. "Stay the f*ck away from her. Do you understand?"
"Y-Yeah." He stuttered knowing Jordan wasn't bluffing with his threats.
Jordan stood there longer checking to see if he would keep his word. I was aware he wouldn't keep his word but I wasn't about to tell Jordan that. However, I was sure Jordan sensed this himself.
He let go of his shirt and took a step back. Kyle quickly fixed his shirt and walked down the hall not before glancing back at me.
Half of the student body was witnessing everything that was happening now. I was lying to myself when I said I was used to the stares. Truth was that I was not. Gladly there were no cameras around but I still wasn't comfortable.
I opened my locker just to find an excuse to not look at anyone. I wasn't looking for anything but was fumbling for things that were not there. My head was basically in the locker trying to shut the world out.
The bell rang forcing people to start moving to their classes.
"Good luck being single, Renée." Emily laughed before sashaying away.
When the halls were slightly empty I closed my locker and hurriedly went to my next class. Jordan called out my name making me stop.
He reached out to pull me into a hug but I stepped back. "Jordan, I just need some space. That's all I'm asking for." I told him. A worried expression settled on his face. With everything that has happened in the time span of a few days, I was tired. Everyone was against me just like before and I couldn't handle it. "I'll see you at home." I held onto the straps of my bag and walked to class.
When I sat down, I took out my books and didn't speak to anyone. Violet greeted me but I shut her down. She frowned at me but nodded to herself in understanding. Reece mouthed from across the room if I was alright. Giving her slight nod, she didn't look convinced.
Jordan walked in the class and I could feel his eyes piercing at me. I fumbled with my glasses and looked down at my table.
Mr Clinton started talking and asking how the projects were going. They were due in a week and Tyler and I were nearly done. We only got together once to complete it and it had slipped my mind to complete it.
"I'll give you guys this lesson to carry on with your assignments. Do not use this time as a chill session and rather use it to ask any questions." He lastly said before going off to his table and doing some work.
Even after what he said I knew that some people would end up talking about things not related to the work.
Tyler had been sitting next to me this whole-time glancing at me. I couldn't blame him since I most likely looked like I was ready to cry. But I held it all in not letting one tear shed past my eyelids.
"When are you free so we can finish this project?" He asked.
"Anytime." I'm always available, I had not social life, "But we can do it today." how sad.
"Sure."
"At the library." I added.
"What's with you and the library? Are you obsessed with the thought of pages filled with different stories?" That's exactly what I was obsessed with. Wasn't it cool? How just one simple book held much more than a story. The reader could be connected with the characters, know how they were feeling, be engaged with the plot.
I shrugged. "It will be empty today 'because people don't usually go in the middle of the week."
"No people?" He quirked his eyebrow.
"No people." I confirmed. "I'll see you after school then."
We stayed quiet for a while. I was starting up on notes for the project in the meantime. Tyler was too doing the same as he drummed his fingers on the table. Could he not sit still? Did he have ADHD or something?
I was comfortable in the silence although I was still thinking about what happened earlier. Some people were just cruel. I felt embarrassed when Kyle held me the way he did in front of everyone.
I know I looked so helpless and nobody bothered to even help me. They never did before and it wasn't so surprising. I've come to the point of people not being there for me wasn't such a disappointment anymore._______________________
Heyyy✨
Ive decided on updating every week. On Sundays, if not on Sundays then it will be Mondays.
Please vote if you enjoyed the chapter.
Song~ Clay by Grace VanderWaal
Malamba♡