-- Mark --
I toss and turn as I lay in bed early that morning. It was three in the morning and I just couldn't sleep. I just couldn't get comfortable. My mind raced with questions and possible answers. My mind racing with the events that have happened over the past week. Everything that had happened to me. My mind also raced with other things. Fantasies of Jack and I on amazing adventures all across the world. Oh the trouble we could get into if Jack pursued what I was thinking. The two of us wreaking havoc on the whole world while changing it all at once. I imagine the fun we could have if only we had more land to roam. If the world belonged to us. Sometimes when it was the two of us, it felt like it did belong to us. It had only been a week, and I felt like I was a movie star. It was one hell of a film.
I stared at the glow stars on my ceiling and I let my mind wander. I let my imagination run wild. I let everything rush at me all at once and I let my wild ideas become part of my existence. Every single moment in my mind made me want to jump up and partake in the action that was happening so many worlds away. A few times, my body twitched and jumped with the urge to fulfill the deeds in my brain.
I wished all of this stuff were true. All of the things happening in my head were real in another dimension. In an alternate universe, this stuff was probably happening. I would kill to live out these things. To switch everything around and be living inside my head.
So, at three in the morning, I sat up and looked around me. I tried to find some way to relieve myself of all this motivation that I suddenly had. I couldn't believe I was feeling productive at a time like this. Then again, this production would wear off once exhaustion took over me and forced me to retreat to my mattress once more. I decided to at least try and get some of this action out of my head and into reality.
I threw the covers off my body and I swung my legs over the edge of my bed, the cold floor immediately putting a chill to me. I stood and looked around. Not good enough. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out some clothes, dressing for the day. Deciding to not even bother with my hair, I went to my closet. I opened the doors and began searching. Looking around. Finally, I spotted my object. One lone leather jacket that I had been saving for a special occasion. I jerked it out of the closet and pulled it onto my body. Still not satisfied. I wrote out another note, saying that I had left early for coffee, and taped it to my door.
I made my bed nice and neat before walking over to the window and opening it. A breeze blew in and I smelled the humidity. The smell of rain was in the air as I leaned out my window slightly. Then, nervousness overtook me. Should I really do this? My hands gripped the window sill and my knuckles turned white. The steady breeze made its way through the room and a little piece of paper fluttered from the corner of my eye.
I saw the gum wrapper. The first thing that had went from Jacks hands into my own and I crossed the room, picking up the small paper as the stale mint smell made my brain grow hazy. I stuffed the wrapper in my pocket, heading back for my window. Okay. This is easy. The only difference is that Jack isn't here. I breathe deeply before just shutting the window, discouraging my actions before my thoughts get the best of me.
I wasn't yet that brave.
I laid back in my bed, deciding to give up all hope of seeing Jack this hour in the morning. Disappointing. That's all my futile attempts at love were.
Then i thought about it some more.
Jack has never denied being gay. He's never denied being straight. He seems to like me okay. Not to mention, each time I ask him about his sexuality, he blows off the question as if he's afraid to answer. He wouldn't be afraid to tell me if he was straight.
For a split second, my heart raced and my hopes rocketed to the sky. Images flashed through my head; nothing dirty and nothing short of affectionate. Images of Jack with his arms around me. Images of us kissing each other softly. Images of us watching TV on cold winter nights. Snuggling on the couch with hot chocolate in our hands. Sleeping beside one another in a close cuddle position.
My heart sank heavily when common sense smacked me in the face. That would never happen. There would be no way. He's probably not even gay and here I am with my hopes and dreams of one day lying in his arms and kissing his lips.
I am so stupid to even so as much believe in something like that happening. I walked over to my door, taking the coffee note off of the outside.
I would just have to wait.
•••
Morning rolled around before I realized it was the weekend once again. Only when my brother didn't come knocking on my door at the crack of dawn did I realize that Saturday had come to greet me. I wasn't greeted by sunlight either. I was greeted by rain.
You'd think Mother Nature would wait a little while longer before she allowed her tears to shower over Ireland and all of its civilians, but no, she just had to have an emotional breakdown. I was especially upset when I realized it was the day that Jack was supposed to pick me up.
So, for a few hours, I sat in my room at my window and stared out at the rain. It looked exactly like little shattered pieces of glass that fell from the sky. The little shards just turned to liquid as soon as they hit the ground.
I was almost certain I was going to spend all day inside when the doorbell sounded. I immediately jumped into action.
"I'll get it!" I yelled as I bounded down the stairs - literally taking the steps almost five at a time - and I rushed to greet the door, knocking Thomas out of the way in the process. I heard my brother give a low growl of annoyance and decided to ignore him. I jerked the door open and, much to my delight, I saw a soaking wet Seán William McLoughlin standing at my door.
His hair was soaked down over his eyes and he quickly whipped his head, flicking his hair off to the side and spotting me with rain water all at once. With his beautiful blue eyes revealed, he gave me a crooked smile. His baggy blue jeans looked perfect on him despite the size difference. His grey sweater sagged down to his knees due to the rain water that weighed it down. His jaw was tight as he forced his teeth not to chatter. My heart fluttered. My whole entire being shook inside with how handsome he was. I had to resist tackling him in a hug.
Only when my brother gently nudged me is when I snapped back to reality.
"Let the poor soul in. He's soaking wet. It's clear that he walked here." I looked at Thomas and back at Jack before Thomas began to get annoyed. "Well, hurry up! He's going to catch pneumonia before you let him in!"
I led Jack into the house and Thomas went to throw a towel in the dryer so our "guest" would have a warm towel to dry off with. Jack quickly took off his shoes and socks, allowing me to lead him to the bathroom. A few moments later, Thomas came out with a warm towel. Jack tensed up in my brothers presence. I payed no mind to it. It was probably just an instinct when around a new family.
"Go find him some clothes that are to small for you." Thomas told me. He turned on heel and went back downstairs before I could protest and tell him that I didn't have any. If I did, they probably wouldn't even fit Jack. Still, it was worth a try.
Stepping into my room, I immediately searched through all of my drawers. Upon my desperate search I found a pair of pants that were small on me. Then I found Jack a shirt of my own. It would be large on his small frame, but that would be okay.
I ran back to the bathroom and began to knock on the door. He cracked it slightly and once he realized it was only me, he opened the door completely. He stepped out into the doorframe and gave me the perfect view of his shirtless figure. He was actually in really good shape.
"Yes?" Jack asked, snapping me back into reality. I stared him in the eyes and began to stutter over my words. I composed myself and hoped he wouldn't notice the fact that I was drooling over him.
"H-here." I stuttered and handed him the clothes. His smirk told me everything as he took the shirt from me. I knew he'd caught me staring. I reached up to wipe my bottom lip, glistened with my own saliva from where I had only been drooling over him moments ago. I averted my eyes from his gaze. I bit my lip when I saw him pull on the shirt out of my peripheral. I stared up at him through the strands of my raven colored hair. He seemed to notice as he finished pulling the shirt onto his slim body. His smirk got bigger and he seemed to hold me down with his eyes, making me feel the same way I felt in the nurses office yesterday. He took his thumb and forefinger, lifting my eyes to meet his. I couldn't look away. I couldn't breathe. It wasn't meant to be so intimate, but his dominate touch made me tremble.
His voice dropped a few octaves or so as he asked me a simple question - "are you okay?" - and I felt myself just give way as I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding in.
"I'm fine." My tongue seemed to freeze up as the words passed my lips. He smiled at the words as he let go of my chin and patted me on the head.
"Okay. Just checkin'." He told me as his voice went back to its normal pitch and he stepped back, shutting the door in my face so he could continue to change. My jaw fell agape as I stared at the white bathroom door.
That fucking tease.
With a frustrated sigh, I stepped back and slumped against the wall opposite the door. My eyes stared at my black Vans and the creme color carpets for a distraction. My eyes were focused, hypnotized by nothing in particular as I stood there. The sounds of Family Feud floated up from the living room as my dad and brother called out guesses from our horrendous looking couch.
Jack stepped from the bathroom only moments after I had zoned out. He smirked at me once again, making him look absolutely handsome. It was a gesture that made me want to throw myself on the floor and rip my clothes from my skin, but I resisted the urge to do such a thing.
"So, which door leads to your room?" Jack asked me and I sheepishly smiled and led the way.
Once he stepped into my room, he smiled.
"Nice place ya got here." He chuckled out. I didn't see anything nice about it. There were cracks in my bedroom ceiling, the creme color carpet had turned dark with the dirt from our shoes, and the bed wasn't even made at the moment. The only thing remotely interesting about my room was the stars that were stuck to my ceiling - that didn't even glow until darkness fell, might I add.
I immediately collapsed onto the bed and Jack stood in the middle of my room, taking in every single detail that was presented to him. Ignoring his presence entirely was hard. I chose to do it anyway as I reached for my sketchbook and drawing pencils.
Mindlessly sketching something while Jack looked around was hard. It was a comfortable silence but every single fiber of my being wanted to look up at him; yet, it took every single fiber of my being not to.
After I had focused in, I realized I was sketching Jack. Sharp jawline, hair laid softly over his eyes, his stubble sticking out from his chin. I actually smiled at the drawing. Jack cocked an eyebrow at me.
"What's so interesting, Mark?" He asked and I forced my lips into a fine line, but I still couldn't fully hide my smile.
"Nothing." I replied. It wast a lie. It was actually closer to the truth than it would ever be.
Nothing was interesting about a shitty sketch and a graphite sketch pencil.
---
Hey guys! Thanks for being patient with me and not killing me for being completely inactive. I keep apologizing when you guys know my issues with updating and I'm sure I get annoying. I love you all so much. Thanks for reading this shitty fanfic. If you guys find any spelling errors, grammar mistakes, ECT. Feel free to let me know about it!
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-Sam