"Cause I usually do, stick to the business
But you came out the blue
And then you just flipped it
God damn baby, my mind's blown
I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you
I still want you
I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to
But I, but I love you"
The Worst-Jhené Aiko
Jeongguk never liked to think before he did things.
Maybe that's why he decided it would be a good idea to visit Celine's mom.
There were missing pieces to the puzzle. Why did his parents have to pay off hers? And why had they let it happen?
And why did Celine end up with no family?
None of it truly made sense to him.
He needed answers, ones that only certain people could give him.
The man was unusually nervous, compared to his suave personality. He refused to accept the reason why he felt so sick and scared right at the moment.
He wouldn't let himself think of the words.
"Hi, I'm here to speak with Kim Bae Song." He shakily asked a receptionist, tapping his hand rapidly on the desk.
He'd made his way to the 10th floor of the office building in no time. He wasn't even sure if she was going to be there, but he had to try.
The young woman looked up, ready to shoo him away when her eyes widened. She was pretty, but seemed like the stuck up type.
"Name please?" She questioned, returning to a normal blank stare. But he could tell. The girl recognized him. Who wouldn't in the city? When he basically owned half of it.
"Jeon Jeongguk." The man said cockily. Or at least tried to. The charisma he held was taking a beating, from the sick feeling in his stomach and the rapid beating of his heart.
Her smile was satisfied, as she had the pleasure to deny him.
"I'm sorry sir, I'm going to have to ask you-"
"No, it's fine. Tell everyone my appointments are canceled for the afternoon." A voice said, coming closer to the pair.
Jeongguk, looked up, eyes wide as the voice interrupted them.
The man's heart stopped. The woman looked exactly like Celine, but a little older. Same eyes, same nose, and same mouth. He knew of the Kim's, but before he had figured they were to busy to officially meet their daughters boyfriend.
And now he knew why.
The receptionist let out a scoff, rolling her eyes at the younger man next to her. Jeongguk didn't pay attention, his whole body facing the older woman that was like looking at the future. He felt frozen in place, finally seeing the human behind the name.
"But, Mrs. Kim."
The older woman smiled, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. They shared a moment between them, a form of understanding without words.
"You can go home after you notify everyone. Thank you."
The girl nodded her head, short bob moving up and down. She gave one last dirty look at the dark haired male, before leaving her desk.
Kim Bae Song finally looked up at the young man, making his heart pound louder. There was so much pain in her eyes, looking at him. The young kid who'd gotten older, and who was now a man.
How could it be? That he did it. With his large and child like eyes, and the worried stance he held. The feigned confidence he portrayed and the little way his lip pouted out.
Could I hate him now? Now that he could truly take accountability for his actions?
But she didn't speak. She kept years of heartache inside.
Instead, she motioned for the young man to follow her into her office.
"What the hell are you doing here?" The woman asked harshly, as Jeongguk let the door close after them.
She didn't sit down. Nor did she offer the young man to. Whatever time she had offered him, it was limited.
"I have some questions to ask you." He said, feeling awkward as she laughed in his face.
She seemed very cold, and rightfully so. Her mouth set in a harsh line, and her eyes narrowed.
"And why should I listen to them? Haven't you already done enough."
A screeching of tires. Glass Breaking. Blood pouring down his face. Being pulled out of a car. A young girl with dark hair right next to him.
She was blue.
He really didn't know what to do. Know what to say.
He wanted to say sorry. If not to get the women to continue talking.
But to say sorry, meant that he had truly killed the girl. Killed the daughter of the woman standing before him.
"Look, I know that Celine and I-"
The woman glanced at him, her eyes begging. The mention of Celine's name instantly warmed her, and filled her with regret. She looked like a mom, for only a second. Her whole demeanor changed, looking frail and warm.
Confusing Jeongguk, who was told that the woman had given up her daughter for money.
"I'm not mad at either of you. You were both kids. Teens for fucks sake. It's over now." The black haired woman announced, clearing her throat. The way she dismissed it was crazy to him.
She wasn't mad at him?
"Then why did my parents have to pay you off to keep quiet? Why did you send your daughter out on the streets." He asked, the questions coming out harsher than he wanted.
It was like something was inside him.
Begging for a redemption he denied that he needed.
"I don't have to answer this."
"Oh yes you do. You covered up a murder."
Her eyes flashed again, with the coldness she began with. She really looked like her daughter when she was angry. Jeongguk recoiled, knowing the look all too well.
"A murder where you were the one who man-slaughtered my daughter. You should be thanking me right now for saving your life. For letting that other boy take the blame even though I knew it was you."
Jeongguk barely kept it together at the mention of his best friend. Even though his name remained unspoken, the way the woman obviously respected him cut the younger male deeply.
"Why did you do it?" He asked quietly.
He wasn't going to give up.
And she knew that as well.
"Your parents haven't told you?" The pretty older woman seethed out. There was obvious distaste in the way that she mentioned them.
In the way that the boy had shook the foundation of her family, and his parents had destroyed it.
"Not at all."
Jeongguk prayed that she would give him answers. Finally, the older woman sighed, giving into his whims.
"Our company wasn't doing so well. We were going bankrupt, alright? So after Mia died, and it turns out you were the one driving, they offered to pay us for our loss, both financial and emotional. Your parents had one condition; get Celine as far away from everything as possible. They saw her as a liability, since she was part of the accident. They were worried one day she would remember the incident, or find out some way and hurt you. It was an offer we couldn't refuse."
Immediately, the young man did as his family taught him to do.
Deflect.
Instead of questioning why his parents would be willing to pull apart a family, he was thankful. Amazed that his parents were willing to do so much to protect their son. He wanted to protect his kids just as much when he was older.
His judgment was placed on Celine's Mom instead. Who looked weak for a taking a bribe, and not protecting her own children.
"You abandoned your daughter for money?" Jeongguk questioned harshly, looking at the woman across from him in disgusts.
She wasn't even angry when she replied back. She knew how the situation looked to everyone else.
Kim Bae Song was devastated. The pain do her past right in front of her face. The mistakes she made in the present coming back to haunt her.
"Don't you say it that way. I'm a mother. I lost one fucking daughter. I cannot lose another. Your parents are involved in a lot more illegal and dangerous activity than you are aware of. They could kill, they could get rid of Celine in a second if they wanted to. I couldn't let that happen. If I have to have her hate me for the rest of my life, than so be it. At least my baby girl is safe."
Jeongguk was at a loss for words, when Mrs. Kim started to cry.
The woman, who seemingly got rid of her living daughter after one died. The tough as nails lady who conquered part of the stock market. Who seemed to care more about money than her family. The one who seemed ruthless and terrible.
Was sobbing uncontrollably in the office that overlooked Seoul. She had everything. A husband, a great son. Money and success.
She in reality, was dying inside.
She prayed everyday that Mia was still painting in heaven.
Feeling absolutely terrible for blaming Celine. Knowing it was the only keep her away from the family. Keep her out of harm's way. Constantly thinking of the look on her face, after she accused her of murder.
"If your daughter opens her mouth, I'll make sure to shut her up forever."
It was the threat that forced Mrs. Kim to go through with the plan. To get paid.
She constantly checked up on Celine. Hired people to follow her around. Take pictures of her. Smiled as she hugged the pictures they took, and held them to her chest. Pretending it was her daughter in the flesh. Lately, the girl looked happier in the pictures.
A boy named Park Jimin, had shown up in them. Mrs. Kim kept her lips shut tight, knowing that he must have been the reason. She was grateful for it.
Funny, how the world works.
Mrs. Kim smiled to herself. She truly didn't hate Jeongguk. But she did relish in the fact that her daughter was in love with the man who took the blame for him in Mia's death. The woman couldn't tell her daughter personally that Jeongguk did it, but she knew that her intelligence would shine through, and that she'd pick the right man.
God.
She wanted nothing more than to see her little girl again.
But as long as Celine was safe, she would be okay.
It was true, that you should never judge a book by its cover.
For Jeongguk learned that she sacrificed everything to protect what mattered the most.
"I think I should leave." Said the dark haired man quietly. His throat felt unbelievably tight as he said it.
"I think you should too." She said, smiling through the tears that streaked down her face.
The man turned to leave, before the woman stopped him.
"And Jeongguk?"
"Yes?"
She placed a hand on his shoulder, showing just how soft the woman was. She couldn't truly hate anyone. The woman's heart was filled with compassion and empathy.
If only she knew the young man's heart mimicked the actions of his parents.
"One day, tell Celine that I love her. Not now, but when you think the time is right."
"Of course I will."
The man ran out of the room, unable to stand it anymore.
Jeongguk and his parents were behind every single misery that Celine had suffered in her life.
But Park Jimin had decided to take the blame for it.
You killed someone. You killed Celine's older sister. Her name was Mia. Her mother missed her dearly. Yet she wasn't mad at you. She didn't blame you. Didn't hate you.
His parents had always looked out for him. Made sure that nothing was ever the boy's fault.
So maybe that's why the tears didn't come. Maybe that's why he was able to disassociate from his fault in the situation.
That's why it felt like he was still Jeon Jeongguk. The super rich, good looking, and successful young man he knew himself to be. That's why he would be able to go home tonight, and without an ounce of remorse, hug Celine until she fell asleep. Still cherish the memory of their relationship, without images of a car crash get in the way.
Don't take blame that isn't yours to have.
The mother had personally forgiven him, just then. Really relieving him of the guilt and stress he had once had.
He barely remembers even hitting anything, from the daze of being drunk.
His name isn't written anywhere.
Anyone that could talk, had been paid off.
Running down the list of excuses, that made him not responsible. Playing the game that his parents had taught him.
"Did you push your friend?"
"Yes."
"Don't say yes Jeongguk, say maybe. Say that you don't remember clearly."
"But I did push him."
"If you're going to be honest, embellish it?"
"What do you mean daddy?"
"Say that you only pushed him, because you saw him push a girl. Say you were trying to defend her. That way, the teacher won't be mad at you this time."
"That didn't happen."
"But it did, that kid pushed you first, right?"
"But it was my fault."
"It's never your fault. You're a Jeon. We don't make mistakes."
Jeongguk was therefore not responsible.
If Jeongguk had taken the blame, had realized his actual part in ruining her life.
It would ruin his infallible self perception.
Fuck Jimin, for being so fucking kind. So selfless. For doing something that no one asked him to do. For constantly playing the victim, and receiving awards for it.
For fucking his girlfriend behind his back, and expecting Jeongguk to do nothing about it.
Before today, for the first time in his life, thought about something before he did it. He thought about whether he should file away the report. Pretend he never saw it. Forget he found out that Celine was a sugar baby, or that her sister died. Forget everything he had uncovered, and ruin the pair in a different way.
But now he was certain.
Jeongguk, had been pushed first.
He knew he was going to tell Celine.
It was just a matter of when.
********
Jimin told Celine to meet at his place at 3:00. They were planning on hanging out casually, since everyone else seemed to be busy.
The girl arrived early, entering from the electronic key the front desk gave her. She had been given permission to have a copied key.
Falling down on the couch, she let her red tank top slide up her stomach. The highest temperature of the day was a whopping 90 degrees. The hair sticking and curling at the back of her neck was enough to prove it. The white couch may have been darker from her sweat, which was kind of gross, but she never really smelt bad.
The room was sweltering. Wasn't he rich enough to afford air conditioning? The small girl lugged her body over to the thermostat, putting down the temperature so that she wouldn't die before Jimin got there. As soon as it was fixed, she fell right back into the seating area. She just really loved being lazy sometimes. Feeling like there was nothing to do, and no expectations.
The girl lifted up her phone, deciding to check Twitter. She created an Instagram and Twitter account for her work. Facebook seemed a little too old fashioned to the young girl.
Jimin told her it was a good idea to keep up with it though, for business reasons.
Celine rarely was ever on social media. Her username was @ MaybeitsCeline. Get it? It's like maybe it's maybelline? No matter what, she thought the user was clever.
It was while she was scrolling through Twitter, that she saw it. After catching different memes and giggling at each and every one of them, she recognized a familiar face.
They were uploaded by some magazine. Weekly Mail. They prided on invading many public figure's lives. It seemed like Park Jimin was not an exception. And why would he be? Their entire friend group was all over news sources in Seoul.
But there is was, clear as day. Celine held her stomach, feeling it bubble with nausea. Her heart palpitating at an uncomfortable beat that felt like it was slowly breaking.
Pictures of Jimin, smiling widely as he excited a building. Looking at a girl who looked strangely familiar. She looked beautiful, in a nice blazer and dress. In every picture, his eyes remained on the girl. In the last one, his hand was placed on the small of the girl's back.
There were no words, for the rage that had swept over her body. The feeling of drowning, and trying to swim towards the surface. But never reaching the top.
That fucking girl Nari. The one he was dancing all over. The one that Celine prayed would never be found around the man ever again.
What was he doing with her? I thought he just hung out with her that one night?
Was Jimin lying when he said he didn't know her that well? He must have liked her, to be smiling at her like that. Cheeks fully lifted, and eyes all scrunched up.
And again, that feeling. Of absolute dread filling her body. Sadness at the thought of someone else taking Jimin away from her.
But sadness and envy morphed into bitter anger as she heard the door open.
"Hey Celine, you got here early." Said Jimin, his usually calming voice like grating barbed wire in her ears. Paranoia turning the man into a figment of darkness in front of her. He leaned over the couch, smiling down at the girl who continued to stare past him and up at the ceiling.
She sat up swiftly, catching the man off guard. Staring directly at the silver haired man as he kept the distance between them close. She hated that. For he was tan, and smelt like the outside, and was slightly panting from her shocking him.
"Would you have rather me not come at all?"
He let out a laugh, thinking that the girl was just joking. He walked to the front of the couch, hands in his short pockets.
"Wow chill there, it's too early for your attitude."
"Maybe I have one for a good reason." She answered back seriously, her small pink mouth set into a straight line.
Jimin knew then, that it was not just their usual banter. Something was wrong, when she looked that way. Eyes glassy, and whole body taut as if she were to run away. The man wanted to prevent that, since he hadn't seen the girl in several days.
"Is that so?"
He stared into her, silver melting into gold. The faint light of the summer sun shedding him in an orange glow, his eyes burning in a warm fire.
The words felt like venom on her tongue; bitter and disbelieving.
"Why were you with her?"
The air was silent, as he narrowed his eyes at her. The tension between them tangible and prodding like the cold air that had suddenly filtered through the room. Celine prevented herself from scoffing, at the man who looked genuinely confused.
"Who's this 'her' you're referring to?"
"With that girl, that I met at the club. Your pictures are all over Twitter today. Cute couple, may I add."
She pulled up her phone, showing the picture that appeared on her timeline. The man leaned forward, taking a look. His face hardened, as he took in Celine's angry face and the way she tightly gripped her phone. He moved back, looking unaffected as he ran a hand through his parted hair.
"I'm allowed to hang out with other girls Celine. Can I not have friends?" Jimin was completely dismissive of it, not looking the brunette in the eyes. He ignored her reaching, playing with a ring on his index finger. It looked like he was holding his tongue.
Of course he is. She didn't even care if Jeongguk had girls around him ever. She didn't care if Jimin had girl friends.
Celine didn't know what the fuck was running through her head, but adrenaline spoke for her instead of reason this time around.
Please tell me its not what I think it is. Tell me it isn't true. That I'm reading too far into it.
"It doesn't seem like she's much of a friend anymore."
"Why are you getting jealous when you have no right to be?"Jimin leaned forward, his face darkening from the shadows. He was using that voice.The one that wasn't cotton candy and spring days, but that sent a guilty chill down her spine.
She hated when he got angry. When the energetic happiness that radiated from him melted away.
But Celine was prideful, in the worst way. She knew that she had messed up, and regretted it. But kept on going, despite his reaction.
He acted the same way.
"Oh, like you have a right to act all pissy when I even mention Jeongguk's name? It started that why. He was never a surprise. Stds exist too and I am constantly getting checked. This is important." The heated girl retorted back.
Jimin let out a humorless laugh, biting the edge of his lip. He took in a deep breath, before giving her the most disappointed glare she had ever seen.
"You know Celine, not everything is about you. Me and Jeongguk haven't been exactly on the greatest terms lately."
"Oh fuck off. You're fine whenever you're with him in person. It's whenever I bring him up you get angry. It's fine when you're territorial though? But not me? Not ever?"
"Oh, so you know it makes me upset but you still do it anyways?" He asked, eyes becoming glassy as he moved towards her. The man became shaky, his mouth opening and closing with unspeakable emotion.
"Jimin what games are you playing? I'm asking a simple question. Why were you with that girl?" Celine's voice had reached a new level, as she yelled the last part at the man she wished to speak loving words to. It was like every phrase she had spoken, was a cover up for what she truly wished to say.
Be with me.
The small girl didn't even know that she was standing until she was right in line with Jimin's chest. The silver haired man was glaring down at her, fists clenched as he heaved his chest up and down. Celine kept talking, ignoring the way his hands gripped his hair. How his eyes were pressed shut, and lips bitten at until they bled.
Until the man finally exploded.
"Because I'm fucking her alright?! Is that what you wanted to hear?"Jimin said loudly, filling the whole room and cutting off her rant.
Immediately, the girl fell silent. He watched, as the flush left her cheeks. Golden eyes that were usually as bright as copper, seemed to meld into a dull brass.
"What?"She asked, for she had never truly been prepared for that answer.
The man kept going, stepping away from the distraught girl. His mouth was set into a harsh line, as he continued to roughly explain. His innocent face looked devilish in the light. Mocking the girl who looked ready to give up on life before him.
"You think you should be the only one to do that? I can't have the same luxury as you? Like I don't know you and Jeongguk still have sex. He's your boyfriend for fucks sake."
Not willingly.
The 18 year old didn't react. Didn't even look at the older man directly in the eyes.
She just shook her head, letting her caved in body speak before her.
"I need to go."
But she didn't get far, before she collapsed back on his white couch. No expression on her face. Just sitting, staring at her hands.
But it doesn't matter.
You don't love me. All I'm here for is a good fuck. That's all.
The thought of him touching anyone but her ripped her heart in half.
She felt dirty. Forgotten. She felt sick.
The young girl felt the world caving in, and still she made no sound. Just starting out into oblivion as her body took over, with helplessness. It was the kind where your body just shakes, and no noise comes out. She was literally holding herself together, with her thinly built frame. Hoping the couch cushions would suffocate her and end her suffering.
But within seconds, she felt arms around her. The arms of the man she never wanted to see or be near again. But it didn't prevent her from leaning into his touch for comfort.
"Celine?" Jimin said, voice slightly muffled by being pressed in between her shoulder and the cushions.
"What do you want?" She replied back, her voice cracking. Quiet.
No feeling could be found. She didn't cry. Celine was in too much pain to cry. She simply wanted to not exist.
"I didn't actually sleep with that girl. She's a business partner. We had things to discuss about clothing brands the other day. I swear I haven't slept with anyone else other than you." He said softly, voice scarring her like a cat's pink-padded paw. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of her neck, making goosebumps appear in succession.
I haven't either. Not with Jeongguk. Not with my own boyfriend. With anybody but you.
The girl immediately hopped up, throwing the man off of her. He looked bashful as she glared at him, eyes all red and long wavy hair sticking up in places that seemed impossible.
"Then why did you say that? I haven't slept with Jeongguk in months. He's tried-I don't want to talk about it. I would've told you if I was working with another sugar daddy, but I already feel guilty enough and you and I don't want anyone else!" She yelled out, voice drawing out in her accent she had long forgotten unless she was whining. Jimin pressed his pointer fingers to her plush lips, making her eyes widen as he shushed her.
The last part wasn't supposed to be said. It slipped from her lips easily in the moment.
I don't want anyone else.
The fucking truth, for once.
The boy smiled at her cuteness, all anger and resent leaving his body.
"I don't know. Did you just say you and Jeongguk-" He trailed off, a smile spreading even wider across his face. It was reactions like this that gave him hope. That made him believe she had feelings for her.
He liked her getting riled up.
But jealousy, was not a good emotion. For people could feel territorial without truly liking someone.
He understood it all too well. How did he have the right to be jealous, when he accepted her knowingly? When he knew she had a boyfriend but still wanted her whole heart anyways.
Celine wasn't the only person asking for too much.
Her shoulders moved up and down, as the girl took in a shaky breath. She ignored him asking about Jeongguk, not wanting to get back into that conversation.
"If you were trying to prove a point, I get it. You should be able to do whatever you want, because we aren't dating. And I have to respect that. I do respect that. I just would like to know, I'm sorry."
No matter how much it fucking hurts. He knew the feeling.
"I don't want to do anything with anyone else." Said Jimin, a little bit of truth escaping his lips as well. A weightless look to his open expression. It couldn't hurt that much to lift her spirits. Especially when she needed it.
She had given a little piece of herself and how she felt to him, and he decided to give back in return.
"Oh?"
"Why would I, when I have you?"
"Because there are much better girls than me." She stated, letting her long hair fall between them. He rolled his eyes, moving to put the mocha hair behind her ear.
"Okay, and am I your beloved celebrity crush? There's always someone smarter, or pretty, or more talented out there. But it doesn't matter, if you are the most amazing to me."
"Stop."
"Why?" His heart was beating a mile a minute, as she looked up at him through her dizzying lashes. She always looked at him, like she was attracted to him, but never like this. Never with so much intensity it looked like it would all spill out of her at once. The effect she had on him was unrepresented.
And maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for her to say something that he knew was impossible.
"Because if you don't, I'll say something I'll regret."
"Then why don't you just say it?"
"Let's go somewhere."
"Is that really what you were going to say?"
"Of course not. But one thing my mother told me that I'll remember forever, is that women don't chase. If they have to run, the finish line was never there in the first place."
The two left it at that. Still balancing on the ridiculous wall they had built between themselves.
Jimin wondering if that meant he should tell her how he feels. Because he should. He would be the only wall between Celine getting hurt from Jeongguk after the breakup, but every time he looked at her face his heart with stop.
What if he wasn't what she wanted?
Celine decided that it would be best to go visit their favorite ice cream shop. Of course she got cookie dough, while he remained loyal to his favorite cotton candy flavor.
Her red tank top standing out like a cherry on top of a milkshake. Jimin laughed as the girl started to dance and sing to Red Flavor by Red Velvet. People around them looked at the couple, in awe at their forgetfulness about the rest of the world. How he lifted up his phone and recorded her, basically falling over with laughter. Her smile beaming as she skipped past the primary-color painted brick walls. She brought the fun back to Summer that he had missed as a child.
And they remained like that. Outside and running around the city like they were the only ones. White sneakers becoming streaked with gravel and memories. Laughing and playing around the public parks that started to burst with fireflies.
Everything was forgotten, as they faded into the oncoming night. All the hardships and unspoken emotions like a faded lamp light. It seemed so far away, the fight they had before.
Because when it was just Jimin and Celine, it was something special.
Eventually, the pair made it up to their favorite rooftop. It became their spot to hangout after they reunited in the early spring. The young adults looked out, watching planes trail across the city scape. The lights flickering on as the sun faded into a multi color array of purple and pink.
Celine took in a deep breath, catching Jimin's warm and fresh scent. It would always feel like home to her.
She thought about how she freaked out earlier. How he had actually gotten angry at her. How they had become so explosive, in the matter of seconds.
And how they had gotten over it. And she was okay, and Jimin was all smiles. And how they held hands even though their hands were sticky from ice cream.
The girl looked over at the man, who was staring out into the sunset. His lips were curled up in the prettiest smile, his hair tousled by the soft breeze. His love and appreciation for the natural world aligning with her love of it. His presence and warmth and light was enough for her.
She wanted to hold onto him forever.
"Why're we fighting so much? We used to never fight before." She said, breaking the calm silence between them. It wasn't directed at him in an accusing manner. It was more of an observation.
He shook his head, pouting out his lips.
"It must be the weather. Hotness can effect your temper negatively."
"I've been hot since the day I was born Jimin." Celine said, winking at the man as she flipped her hair.
The attractive man rolled his eyes, already knowing she was going to respond that way. She always stole the words right out of his mouth.
"And that's why you have a shitty temper."
"Whatever. It doesn't fully make sense, because you're hot and you barely ever get mad."
Jimin bit his lip, trying not to smile too much. Celine never liked when he made a big deal about being complimented. She would immediately blush, and swear to never say a nice thing about him again.
"There's an exception to everything, right?" He said, smirking back at the sarcastic girl.
She giggled, her right dimple appearing.
"Yeah, whatever."
It was quiet again. And Jimin liked it that way. For whenever they talked, he was afraid of saying something he shouldn't.
And even more afraid of her saying something he didn't want to hear.
"We have to keep it friendly Jimin. No other feelings, other than the ones involved with sex. Right now. Jeongguk, I don't want you to hate him because of me. I can't bare it. But I need to tell you. I'm fucking afraid he'll snap." Celine shivered suddenly, making him spin around to look at her.
She's said this countless times. The same way, biting her cheek and twisting her hair. She always said it. It happened at least once a week. As if she were reminding herself, when she told him.
The Jeongguk information was new, and he still didn't like the way it sounded from her mouth. He had suspected something odd was going on, and if his best friend, if he could even call him that, touched even a stray hair the wrong way on her head...
Jimin stopped, hoping the fury wasn't visible on his face.
He didn't want to ruin this day anymore.
Why did it hurt so fucking much this time?
The girl wasn't looking at him, and he was thankful for that.
His eyes pricking with tears, and his whole expression yearning for her. If she would have seen him in that moment, it would have been over for him.
For them.
Say it, just tell her. Do it and deal with the world burning up around them after.
But Jimin was far more afraid of losing her, than anything.
So he sucked it up, and put on a smile. Turning back to the purple sky that splayed across the skyline like spilt paint. Ignoring the burning sensation in his heart and throat, willing the feelings to go away.
"Okay Celine, friends. For as long as necessary. I could grow old and never kiss your lips again, and I would not grow tired of you."
She turned to him, and smiled. Bright eyes and red lips looking like roses dipped in gold. For a second she looked just as crestfallen.
He must have imagined it.
That no one had ever valued her past what her body could give them. Like she was surprised he was willing to stay by her side, no strings attached. Not even the ones they had grown to desire.
Enough to break the fragile remains of his heart.
"I'm glad we're friends Jimin. Really. No matter how much shit blows up, because it will eventually, I can't lose you. I'd rather have you next to me than be a ghost."
Jimin didn't know what to say.
But something changed for him, and that fear began to lessen.
The fear of hurting anyone around them.
He'd burn the world down for her. And that's what scared him now.
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(A/N): So what do y'all think.
After writing all my stories, with the sudden twist and turns, I'm really afraid that this book will disappoint people. It's a more realistic book then the others, and I'd like to keep it that way.