We laid in silence for a little while more, just enjoying each other's company until he sighed "I need to shower"
It dawned on me then that I had no idea what his morning routine with the guards were, I stood up and nodded knowing that I wasn't going to be allowed to escort him anywhere but his cell and the canteen. I sighed as we sat up "Can't we just hide in here forever?"
"I wish" He stretched as he stood in front of me "But I feel we could outgrow this dingy cell" He said this with a wink that caused goose bumps to explode all the way down my body.
I laughed, picturing what our children could look like. Our brown hair, his green eyes and button nose. Pictures of what our life could be flashed before my eyes again, I sighed "in another world"
I stood quickly before I allowed myself to fall into my selfish pit of despair. I wanted nothing more in this life than to freely call him mine, I unlocked the door and called his guards over and made my way back to my office whilst they took care of his morning routine. Once sat down I opened my laptop up and loaded his file, I flicked right through to the beginning. I had re-written the notes in my notebook, remembering how cold he was towards me, how far we've come since that very first meeting.
To think how terrified I was to be walking in there, unsure of what I was going to be dealing with, how I was going to deal with it. So naïve to think that I would be gone by the time we got to where we are now, I had never thought I would fall in love again.
I have suffered so much loss in my life, I was about to suffer the biggest loss. I sat with my head in my hands, I was so consumed in my own thoughts I hadn't noticed Henry walk in. He placed a hand on my shoulder, making me jump out of my depressing thoughts. I looked up at him as he placed a coffee in front of me, I inhaled the smell of the fresh caffeine that invited my senses.
I took the cup and thanked him as I sat back, he took a seat in the chair on the other side of the desk. His face was sad as he looked at me "Chloe, can you do this?"
"I have to" I sighed, looking down at my hands "It's not really an option to quit now"
"His mom and dad want to see you" He looked at me, his face was deathly serious. I didn't understand, I didn't understand why they would want to see me, speak to me or have anything to do with me.
I knew after our last encounter that I certainly wasn't going out of my way to impress the in-laws. My head spun with all the possible reasons for why they would want to speak to me, Oliver hadn't given them any indication of my role. I swallowed hard "When?"
"Lunch" He sighed "It was passed through with urgency so, please, don't be late"
I agreed and watched as he left my office, today clearly had more in store then I had hoped for. The entire morning, I couldn't stop thinking about why they would want to speak to me, I thought it best not to tell Oliver that I was meeting with them. At least not until I knew why I had been summoned.
I was laid with Oliver all morning, trying to remain myself for his benefit so he didn't suspect something was wrong. My fingers were intertwined with his behind my head, he was telling me about the time him and his brother had accidently destroyed the grandmothers garden with her dog.
Apparently the dog had a mind of its own and is had nothing to do with the fact that the two boys had hidden treats in every crevice, petal and leaf they could find. I laughed as he feigned innocence over the whole thing, I could imagine him an innocent ten-year-old boy explaining to his grandmother why every flower bed had been turned up, the evidence of a once blooming garden shredded over the place.
The door beeped and we separated as usual, Henry walked in and we relaxed slightly. He looked at me "Lunch?"
"Oh" I suddenly remembered "Yeah, I'm coming"
Oliver must've noticed the change in my demeanour as I remembered what was about to happen. I looked at him and smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek "I'll be back soon"
He held my hand and kept me in place, his mouth by my year "I love you"
I didn't matter how many times I heard him utter those three words, they always had the same effect on me. My heart and my stomach worked as a tag team to behave completely irrationally together, I smiled as I pulled away "I love you too"
I left the room and sighed heavily as the door shut in front of me, I hated being brought away from him. I wanted to spend every second of the next eight weeks with him, I never wanted to be away. I wanted to hear his heartbeat, feel the fall and rise of his chest with his steady breathing and take in every note of his scent. I wanted to permanently remember how he felt, how he smelt and how his heartbeat sounded when I was close.
"You okay?" Henry asked as we began to walk out the unit, he looked at me out the corner of his eye. I could see he was struggling to find the right things to say to me the closer we got to that day.
I shrugged "I guess, I'm a little stumped as to what they want to see me for"
"I don't know" Henry sighed beside me "They're in my office, I've been told that they do not want anyone else in there"
I felt my stomach sink, what on earth could they need me for that sounded so important? We finally stopped outside his office, I swallowed hard and stepped up to the door. Henry said goodbye and walked off as I entered the office. I found his mom and dad sat on the comfy couches in the corner, the same two very snobby people sat there.
Both of them wearing the same posh clothes, the same pristine exterior that they so proudly showed off only months before but this time it was different. So different.
His mother looked exhausted, dark circles lay heavy on her skin beneath her tired eyes. She looked as though she had aged years in only a few months. His father beside her looked broken, he was sat slumped against the couch, his hand rest on her knee.
I was taken aback, were these really the same people? I shut the door behind me, still cautious as to why they had summoned me. I slowly walked over to them and sat on the couch that sat adjacent to theirs. I had no idea what I was supposed to say or how to even start a conversation with them.
Thankfully I didn't have to, his mom looked up at me and I could see the full extent of sadness residing in her features. She truly did look like a woman who was about to lose her son. "Chloe Coulson?"
How did she know my name, Oliver said himself he wanted to make sure they never knew who I really was "Mrs Harwood?"
She went to speak again but instead she just broke down into an uncontrollable sobbing wreck, my heart went out to her. I stood and walked to Henry's desk, I pulled the box of tissues out from the drawer and handed them to her, she thanked me as she took them and wiped her eyes.
I watched as his dad squeezed her hand "My apologies for the sudden urgency"
"It's okay. What can I help you with?" I tried to remain professional.
"It's Oliver?" His mom sniffed "He wrote to us"
I watched as she reached into the designer handbag, pulling out an envelope. She handed it to me, I could feel the same painful lump sticking in my throat. He didn't tell me that he wrote to them. When did he do this?
I looked at the front of the envelope their address was handwritten with the return address of the prison. I swallowed hard, looking at his parents. They both nodded confirming I had permission to read what had been written. My hands were shaking as I pulled the paper out.
Mother and father,
Whilst I realise that this letter will more than likely be thrown in the junk draw or used to light the night fire on a cold night, I need to just have you hear me out. I know how disgusted you are by me, I know that I have brought complete shame to our family and for that, you can never forgive me.
You seem to wish that I have the worst experience in my final years, months or days. I want you both to know, that no matter how poorly you have treated me, I forgive you. I'm sorry for dishonouring you all and I hope you find peace when I am put to death in only eight weeks.
I was transferred to this prison to prepare me for my execution, to hold me in my final months. On my arrival I was provided a psychologist, a young, inexperienced, brilliant psychologist. She had big plans, dreams that would soon become a reality for her. She has brought more help to me then I could ever truly thank her for everything she has done for me. Maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to meet her, anyone is lucky to be in her presence.
The main reason for this letter, is to tell you that my final months haven't been filled with hatred and loneliness. I fell in love, deeply and truly fell in love, maybe you remember Taylor, maybe you don't. I doubt anything I say has much importance to you anymore. I'm so madly in love with her, she has made my final months' worth living. She has taught me that even in the darkest of time, when you're facing death right in the face, that love can be found.
She loves me for who I am and she has my whole heart for as long as she lives.
One day I hope you find peace, both of you. I hope that you can finally understand that I never intended to live my life like this, I never intended to be sentenced to death row.
My psychologists name is Chloe Coulson, ask for her and you'll know
Regards, your wayward son, Oliver.
I finished reading his letter, tears had fell onto the paper as I read it. I folded it up and put it back in the envelope before handing it back to his parents, I didn't know if I could even look at them. Oliver had to be careful what he wrote, the prison checks their male before it's sent off.
His mom spoke, knowing that I was the one sat in the room on their last visit, knowing that he told them my name was Taylor. "You love my son?"
I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh, willing the tears to stop falling so I could form an audible sentence "Yes" My voice came out broken
What happened next took me completely by surprise, his mom stood up and walked over to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, squeezing me tightly. I slowly hugged her back, I could feel her body shaking with silent sobs. I could do nothing but sit there and cry into her shoulder, we cried together for a good ten minutes.
She finally let me go and sat right next to me taking my hand in hers "I never meant to act to coldly towards him you know, I think part of me refused to accept that I was going to lose my son"
His father spoke next "How is he?"
I wiped my eyes "He's okay, I think he accepted his fate" I choked on my own words as I said this "I'm sorry, It's getting harder and harder each day"
His dad gave a sad smile "Please, don't apologise for your pain"
We sat for a few hours, Mr and Mrs Harwood told me all about his childhood. How he was always such a rebellious character from the get go, they told me about their plans for his future. This was painful, as a mother you want the best for your children. She told me how they had hoped he would settle down close to them, start a family of his own so that they could see the grandkids after their other children had moved away.
I wished that I could be sat there with Oliver by my side, in their home telling them that we were expecting. I pictured it in my head over and over again, a life that I can never have.
"Mrs Harwood?" I spoke just as they were about to leave "Do you want to see your son?"
Her eyes pricked with tears as I asked this, she nodded her head. I could see the pain in her eyes the entire time we sat there, she was desperate to make amends before it was too late. I asked them to wait there, Henry was stood outside the office. I explained that I needed to get Oliver, he offered to come with me.
We walked towards the canteen, Oliver was sat on his own eating his dinner in our usual spot. I walked in and saw his face light up as I walked towards him "Hey beautiful" He said quietly
"Will you come with me?" I held my hand out to him "Trust me?"
I noticed Henry explaining to the guards where he was going, Oliver eyed me suspiciously "Where?"
I shook my head "Just trust me?"
He took my hand and we walked out the canteen, I lead him through the unit and towards Henry's office. He paused outside the door "Chloe?"
"Yeah" I turned to look at him
He smiled "I would trust you with my life if it wasn't about to end"