"All you tell me
Is that I'm not worthy
Of your love, your love
Of your love, your love"
Girl-James Deen
"Where were you last night?" Said Jeongguk, as a smiling Celine flounced into the kitchen. He'd arrived home at 5:00 pm, and Celine had thankfully gotten off work tonight.
He was suspicious, well because, she was never the type to bounce into the room. More like stumble around slumped over until she got some coffee into her system. But not this evening. The usual grouch was bright eyed and bushy tailed.
"I was at work?" She answered, immediately losing some of her shine. Her colored lips dunk, her wide light brown eyes becoming more dull.
He recoiled from her, leaning back against the counter. Feeling like a scolded child almost, not like her boyfriend. Whenever he spoke she made this face like she wished she was anywhere else.
It seemed like that's all Jeongguk was good at doing anymore; disappointing her.
She still looked radiant in her loose, silk pink pajamas. Jeongguk wanted to kiss her neck, create rose petals on the white of her shoulders.
But he refrained.
"Okay." He said, accepting her answer. The way she said it with a curled lip and lifted brow told him not to pry anymore.
Most of all he was just happy to see her. Look at her. Listen to her voice. Bask in her scent of rose and lilac. Be in the sunlight of her beauty.
He liked that with her he was home.
"Okay? That's a weird question to be asking Jeongguk." She said, with a slight smile. The dark haired man could see she lightened up a bit as she made coffee. She always used so much hazelnut creamer, and a dash of sugar.
"I can't wonder where you are sometimes?" The man replied, watching the way her warm gaze made the room feel brighter.
He was always worried. Ever since his parents started to disapprove their relationship. Ever since he introduced her to his friends. When she came home that night with that red dress he loved. Jeongguk had started to realize how much value she was to him. How much losing her would hurt. And just the thought of that happening drove him mad. In his eyes everyone who wasn't them was an enemy.
"No. I mean I guess you can. It's alright if you're worried." She said, shifting around on the stool she sat atop. A caramel colored wave fell on her shoulder, which she quickly brushed behind her back.
He was so in love with everything about her.
"I am, I'm always worried about you." He said genuinely, not even trying to hide the intensity of his words. He lifted her chin up with his hand, wanting her to look directly at him.
Dark eyes swirled with honey until she broke away from him.
"How clingy." She said, pushing him on the chest teasingly.
Though she was pushing him away, it had the opposite effect on him.
"Shut up Celine. I know you secretly love my affectionate advances." The muscular man said, getting closer and closer to her. He sent her a wink, finishing off with a flirtatious smile.
She curled her lip in mock disgust, flicking him on the forehead,"Or maybe not."
The 19 year old laughed, putting both arms on the side of her stool. Her smooth thighs rubbed against his arms, causing him to tense up. Her eyes were addictive, wanting him to be so close to her. The end of his nose touched hers, his face tilting slightly to the right.
"I know you like something else." He said, slowly. His eyes closed as he fully pressed his lips against hers.
She met him, moving her lips softly against his. The beating in his chest wouldn't cease. He wondered if there would ever be a day she didn't make him nervous. As soon as Jeongguk got really into it, she pulled away from him.
"Really Jeongguk, we don't have time." She said, wiping her lips as she stared at the ground.
"Yes we do. We always have time." He said, figuring she was just playing coy. He wrapped his arms around her again, planting another kiss in her warm lips.
"Yeah cause you finish in like five minutes. We have to go to Jin's dinner party." She said, kissing him one more time before hopping off the stool away from him.
He watched in pure agony as she sauntered away, swinging her hips to their bedroom.
Damn.
"Rude, just plain rude. I last for like seven minutes." He said, yelling down the hall.
He heard Celine snort, as she backpedaled just enough to be seen by him.
"Whatever makes you happy bud."
"Seriously, don't go spreading that rumor around."
"Scared it will scare away your side chicks?" Celine said, winking at the last part.
"Um no? My friends won't let me live another day." Jeongguk scoffed, putting his hands on his hips.
"Haha, that's pretty true." She said, laughing and finally disappearing in the room again.
Though they didn't do anything, that little exchange made his heart flutter. It felt like the old them for just a few seconds. Where he wasn't so crazy jealous and she wasn't so weirdly distant. He knew that it was mostly his fault, and that's what ate at him everyday.
He quickly got dressed as she showered, putting on a slightly more casual ensemble. When he was done getting ready he went back to the kitchen. Opened the fridge.
He saw the pack of beer he bought.
What harm could it do?
He brought one to the living room and drank it, watching tv at the same time.
He couldn't get ahold of Jimin yesterday. It was the first time in all their friendship that he had not contacted him. Jeongguk understood that it was probably because he was being a dick, but he wasn't exactly sure how to apologize. Plus, his older friend was an amazingly forgiving person. Jimin never usually made mistakes. It really made the younger wonder what caused him to slip up.
One beer down.
He knew that he should support Celine with whatever she does. That the art thing was really important to her. But money. Money. Money. That's all his parents cared about. Even though they had all they needed, they wanted more. They were trying to get him into going on dates with other people.
He only went on one.
He was hoping she'd really give it up. He almost made her do it too. Jeongguk had paid people to fail her interviews, and act like they dislike her photos.
But Jimin came out of nowhere. He had her hope. And he's probably going to allow her into his gallery. The Jeon's wouldn't be too happy.
Two.
It became harder and harder to recognize himself. Everyday the struggle was more apparent. What was he becoming? Due to his grief? His jealousy?
And then another.
The scary part was that he wasn't entirely sure.
"Shit, Jeon, you're drinking already?" Celine said, clacking into the room with brown boots. He could tell by her face that she was slightly pissed, making Jeongguk's dizzy mind confused.
Jeongguk took in her dazzling appearance. Even in black ripped jeans and a white sweater, she was a sight to behold.
"Yeah, what's wrong with pregaming?" He answered, sending her a large smile.
The beautiful woman rolled her eyes, wrapping a maroon scarf around her neck. The man's slightly buzzed eyes followed her every step. After putting on a black coat, she walked directly in front of him.
"The fact that you were supposed to drive?" She groaned out, voice slightly raised. The way she was standing above him was intimidating, making him wish he hadn't taken out the beer.
She had started to shake.
"Oh yeah, oops."
"Ugh, whatever. Just don't drink too much."
"Yep. Are you excited to see my friends tonight?" Jeongguk asked, watching the expression on her face closely. He wrapped his arms around her thighs, slightly nuzzling into her comfy stomach.
Jealousy.
"Um, sure?" She said, in a nonchalant manner. Her hand gently weaved thorough his hair, rubbing calming circles into him.
"You aren't? Jin admires the way you roast people. Hoseok loves you to death. And Jimin probably has a crush on you or something."
"Why would you say that?" Her hand suddenly freezing on him.
Jeongguk shrugged drowsily, moving back from her a bit. He was about ready to fall asleep on her,
"I don't know. It's just I brought you up at work the other day and the idiot started blushing."
It was true. All he did was mention the name Celine and Jimin looked like a fire engine. When he asked what was up, the elder replied he'd received a sext at the same time. Jeongguk wasn't sure what to believe.
"Maybe it got hot in the room?" His girlfriend said, looking confused as to why he brought it up.
"Oh Celine, you don't know men at all. Don't worry, I don't see him as competition at all. I'm not even jealous. You can talk to him all you want." He said, snuggling her even closer. Her scent was so intoxicating, he was more than just tipsy on a few beers.
"Good because that wouldn't have stopped me."
"What was that?" Jeongguk craned his head, her response muffled by the plush fabric of her sweater.
She looked down at him, big eyes wide, lips parted in a soft exhale.
"Oh, I was saying that's good. I wouldn't want some assumption to end your friendship."
"Yeah, of course not. Jimin is my closest friend. He'd never hurt me."
Jeongguk knew it was true. Jimin had always sacrificed for him.
Ever since the day they met.
Jimin always put Jeongguk before himself.
There was a couple times where Jeongguk took advantage of that. Like the one time Jimin thought of getting serious with a girl, and Jeongguk liked her as well.
But more so he wanted to see how far he could push Jimin. So he asked the silver haired man if he could have her. And he said yes.
Or the time where Jimin skipped a family holiday to help Jeongguk with stocks. It was the one time where Jimin was actually invited by his mother he selflessly begged for Jimin to stay. And her did.
And then there was the time...
That Jeongguk rarely thought about.
And refused to bring up.
"And neither would I." Celine said, interrupting his train of thought.
"You hurt me everyday." He said, suddenly serious through his drunken stupor.
"What?" Celine looked hurt, saddened by his words.
He didn't want that. He didn't want her to know what pain he was suffering. He didn't want her to think he was crazy. So Jeongguk did what he did best, hide behind humor.
"Because I have to look at your ugly face." The man said, putting on a brave face. And loving the way she immediately scrunched up her face with annoyance.
"Ugh, go blow a dick." She said, turning around to grab her purse.
"Only if it's yours!" Jeongguk said, though laughing, still ached inside.
The couple finally got dressed and ready by 8:30. It was truly a miracle. Celine was excited because it would be her first time going to Jin's house.
Though she was driving, it didn't take too long to get there. Jin lived in the city, surprisingly close to Jimin. His penthouse was completely black on the outside, trendy and modern compared to the other city houses next to him. It looked like a fancy row home in New York.
Celine quickly parallel parked, trying not to break a smile at Jeongguk. He wouldn't get out of the car because Bodak Yellow was on and he was dancing to it. Very unlike himself, and still very amusing.
She was happy, because he seemed like he was in a way better mood than he had been this entire month. Tonight was going to be a good night for everyone.
The only nerves she felt was from seeing Jimin. It was the first time they'd interact together in front of people since Hoseok's. She'd texted him earlier, reminding him that they had to act normal. He told her not to worry about it. That again, tonight they would be Jimin and Celine.
Friends.
And Jeongguk was like his old self tonight. Easy to love. Everything felt normal. Peaceful. Alright for once.
"Hey, Jeongguk?" Celine said, after he'd finally gotten out of the car.
"Yes?" The man replied, his dark eyes wide.
He was wearing the same outfit as they day they met. White shirt, dark slacks. Hair dark and messy around his forehead. Sculpted lips displayed gently across his handsome face.
"I just want to say I love you."
"I love you too." He said, letting go of all his tension with a smile.
They were okay. And Celine was glad about it. Her body and mind fell into the serenity of the moment.
They walked up to Jin's house, hand in hand. Celine rang the doorbell, sighing patiently into the cold. A man who was not Jin opened the door, glancing at them quickly up and down. He wore some sort of tux, showing that he probably was a butler of Jin's.
"Can I have your name sir? I need to check the guest list." The older man asked, peering over his glasses at the couple.
"Jeon Jeongguk. This is my girlfriend Kim Celine." Her boyfriend said, his voice muffled at the first part.
"Sorry, what was your name again?"
Jeongguk cleared his throat, pausing before he yelled, "JEONGGUK!"
Celine's eyes widened, as she quickly threw a hand over his mouth. She smiled awkwardly at the butler, trying to ignore the fact that Jeongguk was licking her hand.
"Oh my god, would you stop! Sorry, my boyfriend is a bit unhinged." She said, feeling ashamed and amused all at once.
"It's alright Madame. Jin warned me of this, eh hem, interesting character." He said, giving the struggling man next to her a disapproving look.
"Well that's embarrassing. C'mon playboy." Celine said, tone filled with sarcasm.
"Coming my perfect girlfriend." Jeongguk crooned out, letting her know he was still buzzed.
Celine rolled her eyes, pushing him into the doorway. The butler gave her a look of sympathy, but she just shrugged.
Luckily Jin walked into the foyer, saving the day. He wore a cute black sweater, and nicely shaped jeans. His face was as perfect as ever, looking like a holiday catalogue model.
"Hello losers! This is my humble abode."
"Is that a statue of you?" Celine questioned, looking at the bronze Jin that stood center in the vast room. She couldn't blame him, if she ha a face like his she'd want a monument too.
Jin laughed, doing a little spin in front of the couple.
"Did I say humble?" The older man said, pretending to smile shyly at the ground.
"Yes, yes you did." Jeongguk replied, loving that his friend was almost as extra as him.
"Well forget that. Come follow me, everyone else is here already." He said, spinning and motioning for Celine to follow him.
When Jin asks you to do something, you do it. She immediately started pulling Jeongguk with her, not wanting get to lose sight of the host. The house was huge, and had more of a dark aesthetic. Celine really loved Jin's sense of style and fashion. It was so chic.
They finally made it to an open area that looked like a vintage cigar room. And a diamond bedazzled pool table.
Hoseok and Jimin were standing, holding small drinks in their hands. They were laughing, but immediately looked our way when we entered the room. Hoseok gave me a big smile, which she returned. Jimin sent her a wink, making her turn away quickly so that her cheeks wouldn't heat up.
His presence in the room felt overbearing. Again, he was wearing all black and it did things to her. Even when she wasn't looking at him, the 18 year old knew where he was in the room. Could feel his secret glances on her. The more she tried to focus on Jeongguk's hand on hers, the less she felt like it was there.
Then she noticed two people she hadn't met yet, sitting on couches.
One of them was extremely beautiful in a model type of way. His sandy brown hair was a big long, falling into his eyes with messy waves. A pretty heart shaped face and beautiful almond eyes. Full lips and a nice jaw line encased with honey brown skin. He looked a bit homeless, but she could tell he was sporting Gucci everything.
He looked like he was talking the ear off of the man sitting next to him. This man was also very good looking, in a cute and dangerous way. He had a bored expression on his face, which made her laugh considering she had resting bitch face too. He had white hair, that framed his delicate and pale face. His eyes were small and soft, his lips pink and perfectly molded. The man almost looked like a doll, but also had an edgy sense of style and an extremely sharp jawline.
There was a man standing behind them, laughing at the conversation. And the bartender who the girl met the other night. Namjoon. She started to panic for a second, until she remembered that he would lose his job if he said anything. But the dimpled man gave her a polite nod, showing his kindness.
Jin clapped loudly, making sure everyone was paying attention. Celine started fidgeting, feeling weird with all the attention put on her.
"So everyone, you know Jeongguk. This is his fabulous girlfriend Celine."
"Hello everyone." She said politely, waving into their general direction.
Jin smiled at her, pinching one of her cheeks. He put his hand on the small of her back, causing her to break hold of Jeongguk. He was fine with it though, he had already left to go talk to Jimin and Hoseok.
Celine glanced back, to see if Jeongguk was still acting drunk. But she caught Jimin's eye instead. He didn't smile, but the smolder on his face made her feel as if she swallowed a whole glass of brandy. She kept thinking of the amazing time last night.
I want to stop thinking about it. About the way he makes me feel. It's getting harder and harder.
"Okay so this is Min Yoongi, Kim Taehyung, they are really close friends of ours, but they live in Daegu so its harder to see them. And this my beau Namjoon." Jin said, gliding gracefully around the couch until his arm wrapped around Namjoon's.
The two were obviously entranced by each other. Jin couldn't keep the smile off of his face. His partner wouldn't stop looking at him, completely enthralled with his happiness.
From what Jin said, Yoongi was the one with bleached hair, and Taehyung was brunette.
"Nice to meet you all." She said, looking at each person individually. They all looked like people she'd get along with so she wasn't too nervous.
It was just amazing that a friend group could have this many good looking people in it.
"You're really hot. Oops sorry I thought I said that in my head." Said the blonde man, surprising Celine. From the way he smirked, he obviously meant it out loud.
His voice was deeper and much more rough than she expected, with his doll like appearance. The way he said it was so matter of fact, she didn't feel weirded out at all.
"Haha it's okay Yoongi." Celine answered back, brushing her long hair behind her ear. She liked his blunt "I don't give any fucks" attitude.
"She's chill, I like her." Said Taehyung, nodding his head at her response. He got up off of the couch, coming to formally shake her hand.
He really was pretty up close, charming like a puppy.
"I like you too." She replied, feeling an instant companionship with the man.
"Oh fuck." Min Yoongi suddenly exclaimed, loud enough for the whole room to hear him.
"Yoongi, watch your goddamn mouth." Jin said, still hanging from his boyfriend.
"Sorry, mom. But I just realized I left Min Holly home without any food."
"Is that your girl friend?" Celine asked, still unaware about their lives.
"No, that's his dog that he's basically in love with." Taehyung said, sticking his tongue out at the blonde man who sent him a death glare.
"Basically? I've been to his house so many times with him. He becomes a different person." Park Jimin said, entering the conversation as he stood next to Celine.
Immediately her senses were bouncing off the radars. She quickly took in his appearance out of her peripheral vision. He was slightly more close to her than what would be considered a friendly distance. Her palms were getting sweaty, and she had the urge to touch his skin. She wondered if he felt out of breath standing next to her too.
"Yeah, yeah whatever." Yoongi said, not being able to hide his smile.
Jimin and him did some weird bro handshake. Taehyung and him hugged. It seemed like he was everyone's favorite.
"Oh, so you're the bottomless pit of sarcasm that Jeongguk told me about?" Celine said, trying to learn more about the group.
She never considered herself a third wheel. Though she was shy, she always tried her best to interact with others.
The blonde man smiled, showing his gums.
"Pretty much."
"Then we'll get along great." Celine replied, laughing at the way he looked proud about that.
"Not to interrupt but I heard from Jimin that you're an artist?" Taehyung said, his deep voice filled with inquiry.
Celine looked at Jimin, eyebrows raised. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, gazing innocently around the room. She wasn't mad at him, it was more the fact she didn't want people to think she was a failure or something.
The brunette let out an uncomfortable laugh, correcting the statement,"Well, an inspiring artist."
Taehyung's whole face lit up like a Christmas tree. Jimin giggled as the happy man clapped his hands together.
"That's great! I collect art regularly, and I am starting photography. If you ever need anything photographed you can let me know."
Celine glanced back at Jimin, who still held the innocent look on his face. He obviously did it to help her network. And maybe he did it to help her make friends as well. Either way, she was entirely too grateful for him.
"Thank you! That's really helpful actually. Is your favorite artist Van Gogh?" She asked, turning her attention back to Taehyung.
"How'd you know?" He said, causing them to laugh together.
Jimin watched, smiling as the two interacted. It was crazy, how watching some of your favorite people interact was enough to keep his heart full.
Suddenly Celine felt a heavy pressure on her neck and back, as her boyfriend swung an arm around her.
Yoongi looked grossed out, while Taehyung and Jimin exchanged silent glances. She felt a bit uncomfortable, as he started to wobble with her.
"Ugh, can everyone stop with this boring stuff. Let's do something fun!" He said, quite loudly into her ear.
She ignored him, feeling slightly embarrassed. She didn't want his friends to think she was boring at all.
"Like what, take shots and validate our masculinity?" Hoseok said, roasting him from across the room.
They all started laughing, except Jeongguk. Celine started to feel worried. She could tell that his mood slightly shifted. Jin decided that this was the best moment to go to the dining room and eat.
Celine walked next to Taehyung and Jimin, letting Jeongguk trail in front of them. When they arrived in the room, the dark haired man reached for the brandy on the table.
"Oh no, shots before dinner is banned in this household." Jin said, pulling it away from him.
Jimin's hand rubbed against mine. We locked eyes subtly, knowing that no one was really paying attention to us. Everyone else was trying to find a seat around the large oak table. He sent me a reassuring smile, making my heart flutter.
"Come sit next to me." Said Jimin, his voice sounding kind and without motive. Celine didn't see the harm in it, so she went to sit next to him. It would be weirder anyways if they constantly avoided each other. This way she could sit across from Jeongguk.
But her boyfriend had another idea. He sat next to Jimin instead, sending her a strange smile. Celine was stopped mid track when the dark eyed man sat in her seat.
"No problem buddy." Jeongguk responded to the request that wasn't meant for him. She could see a drop of brandy still glistening on his lips.
I told him not to drink.
"Okay, then." Jimin said, plopping down on one of the plush chairs. He shared a look with Celine, one that wasn't too bothered. Jeongguk was his best friend after all.
Why did that incident sober me up to what they were doing wrong? I feel strangely guilty. Sitting next to Jimin seemed simple, but really wasn't.
Tbe 18 year old sat across from them, next to Taehyung and Yoongi. Namjoon and Jin sat at one end, Hoseok on her right at the other end.
We all sat down and everything was going great. Hoseok and Yoongi were hilarious together. They kept singing really badly at high pitched tones. Usually, Celine would find that obnoxious but it was the funniest thing when they did it.
Taehyung and Jimin were basically inseparable when they were together.
Namjoon and Jin met in the strangest way. Who knew you could meet the love of your life at a Versace store? Especially after they spilled coffee on your new outfit?
She couldn't help but glance over at Jimin. To see if he was smiling, to see if he was laughing. Sometimes Celine was worried by him, that every stroke of happiness was a mirage. That on the inside he was just as burnt out and lonely as she was.
Jeongguk just kept downing drinks. He became uncharacteristically quiet. Before when we were all together, he was laughing and joking with everyone. Now he was staring at the table, looking and paying attention to no one.
"The only person I will willingly hug is Jimin."
"Why is that?" The silver haired man asked cutely. His plump cheeks were puffed out in a wide grin.
"I don't know, you're cute as fuck?" The cold man replied, looking at him like it was the dumbest question ever.
Celine giggled, watching the two interact. She wished she had friends like these before. Luckily, they were all very pleasant and nice to her. But the truth was she wasn't entirely in yet. Of course, she's hung out with Hoseok and Jin alone before. And she loves Jeongguk. And Jimin became and unexpected friend.
But the love and adoration these people shared for each other was something special. Something very rare. She felt tears spring up in her eyes, as she looked around at everyone. Old face and new. These people had become her new family.
Her thoughts were suddenly broken when Jeongguk hit the table with a loud clang. It was unexpected, causing all the conversations to stop and every eye to turn on him. Celine's heart rapidly beat, afraid of the blank stare he had in his eyes.
"You're just so perfect. Aren't you Jimin? So fucking perfect." He said, smiling without any warmth.
It was uncalled for. And of course, because he'd been drinking, Jeongguk didn't look too bothered by what he said. Celine started to panic, thinking of what Joengguk said earlier. Would he call Jimin out in front of everyone?
The room became completely silent. Jin and Namjoon looked pissed. Yoongi looked blank, but fierce. Taehyung's eyes were wide with shock.
Jimin's face dropped, his lips pouring out at his friend's mocking words. Despite the meanness of his friends voice, and the glare he sent him, Jimin still looked worried for his friend.
"No, that's you man." Jimin said, awkwardly laughing. He sent a quick glance to Hoseok, who also looked entirely shocked.
No one knew what to say or do. All of us were frozen. No one had a clue what he was ranting about, or why. The youngest had never acted like this before in front of everyone. He praised all of his friends.
"Is it? Everyone loves you. Jin, Hoseok, all of them. You hold the most money in the company. You get the most girls. You're the smartest. You're the best." He said, starting to slur his words. His head slung back, which he immediately brought forward again.
Eyes bloodshot, tongue muffled.
He lazily pointed a finger, circling around the entire table. Sending everyone a glare.
Jimin coughed, trying to ease the tension in his throat. He felt the pressure in his eyes, knowing that he was probably tearing up.
"Dude chill, all of those things don't really matter to me. It wouldn't be worth it if I didn't have you guys." He said, trying to calm down the man who was like a little brother to him. He felt helpless, unable to do anything for his struggling friend.
Why was everything so fucked up now?
Everyone loved Jeongguk better.
Even the people Jimin wished didn't.
"That's bullshit." Jeongguk said, standing up hard enough that his chair flipped to the ground.
Jimin looked scared. Frightened. But not for himself. For how Jeongguk was behaving. The man's eyes looked broken, afraid that his most dear friendship was falling apart right before his eyes. The more he tried to calm Jeongguk down, the more pissed off he was.
Celine felt like crying. Because instead of consulting Jeongguk, all she wanted to do was run and hold the shivering Jimin in her arms.
It's my fault. It's my fault.
He knows.
About me and Jimin.
He has to, why else would he act this way? He loves Jimin.
It's all my fault. I've been so dumb. So blind. So selfish.
"Jeon, calm he fuck down." The pale man said, standing up. He put out a hand, as if to calm his youngest friend down.
"Don't tell me what to do Yoongi!" He yelled, shaking the glass on the table.
Yoongi closed his eyes, but without saying another word sat down.
After realizing he was going to keep lashing out, she decided it was her turn to step in.
"Really, Jeongguk, you're taking things too far." She said, reaching out to him.
But he quickly moved out of her grasp. Pulling away so harshly her fingers ached. He gave her a dead stare, one that didn't coincide with the rest of the night. His jaw clenched, eyes filled with an unsaid pain.
All good things must come to an end.
"Why don't you stay out of this! Go do something with your life."
Celine cringed, taking in the meaning of his words. Tears pricked the back of her eyes before she could even stop them. She sat back down in her chair, trying to hide her heated cheeks.
Let me help you.
But how can I when you keep hurting me?
For the first time this night, Jimin looked angry. Everyone at the table reacted, everyone suddenly on their feet. Hoseok went around to Jimin, putting a hand on his shoulder. Taehyung and Yoongi started going back and forth with Jeongguk.
Celine sat down, staring at the table. Feeling like the biggest piece of shit ever. It was supposed to be a fun evening, with friends and food. She wasn't sure whether to blame Jeongguk or herself.
Jin walked over, his facial expression regal with its ferocity.
"Jeongguk seriously, that's enough." The elder said, giving him a final warning.
"Of course you're defending her Jin! Everyone wants a piece of her."
"Bro, he's gay." Said the sandy brunette.
"Taehyung no one fucking asked." Jeongguk yelled back at him, causing the big eyed man to flinch.
"Get out of my house." Jin said, not daring to look away from his younger friend.
The words seemed to sober him up. Suddenly, whole body language changed. Instead of towering over others he was more subdued. Like a kicked puppy. It was hard to feel sympathy at the moment.
"Jin..." He said, the words falling flat in the tense air.
It was Jin's turn to slam his hand down on the table. The younger man was shocked, looking at his friend with wide eyes.
"Get the fuck out! I'm tired of making excuses for you. You're not a kid anymore, stop acting like one. You need to go home and reflect on shit, and I expect an apology from you later."
Celine held her breath. She knew her boyfriend well. He was destroyed by what Jin just said. His whole face dropped, a look of deep sadness setting in.
But he needed to hear it.
The ashamed man glanced around the room, looking at each of his friends. They stared back with no words left to say.
His eyes finally landed on her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. You know I would never knowingly hurt you. You know that right baby?" He said, looking directly at her.
The small girl didn't respond. She knew if she did, her calm facade would have ripped apart. His eyes bore into her, waiting for anything. A sign, words of encouragement. Her hands shook, her hands clenched, but she wouldn't give in.
"Get out. I already ordered you an uber. There's no need to drive drunk." Jin said, cheeks suddenly heating up with anger.
She's never seen anyone so pissed before. So serious. It was quite intimidating. You could really tell that they all respected him, and saw him as a parental figure.
Jeongguk finally gave in, sighing as he leaned back from the table.
"Fine, Celine?" He said, motioning with his hand for her to come with him.
"She's staying here tonight. You can pick her up in the morning." Jin replied.
It surprised Celine, but she felt grateful. Her brain was jumbled with so many thoughts and emotions. Going home with him would result in a fight. And for the first time she was afraid of the man who she called her bunny. It left a bad taste in her mouth, made her feel sick.
She nodded her head at him, letting him know it was what she wanted. He didn't look happy about it, but started to actually leave the room.
Or so they all thought. Jeongguk turned quickly, getting in Jimin's face before he even had time to respond.
"You put your hands on my things and I'll fucking murder you, got it?" He said, lifting up Jimin by the collar of his shirt.
Celine almost launched herself across the table, her heart lurching in fear. Jeongguk looked like he wanted to kill Jimin. But the elder stayed calm, not even responding in the slightest way.
Hoseok immediately stepped in, pulling the taller man off of Jimin. The silver haired man was breathing hard, the distance clearly growing between him and his best friend. Jimin was shaken by his aggressive and inexplicable behavior.
Jesus Christ
He's acting this way when he suspects Jimin has a crush on me
What happens if he finds out about us?
Their friendship, would be destroyed.
Jimin could get hurt.
And it would be my fault.
This whole night woke her up to the possibility that her and Jimin's "perfect setup" could really screw up everyone around them. It was a rude awakening at that. Jeongguk threatened to murder him. God even knows what he could possibly do to Celine. Jimin and her weren't indestructible. And they needed to stop acting like it.
"Jeongguk." Jin said, his voice like ice.
"Alright I'm leaving." Jeongguk said, walking out slowly.
He didn't glance back at anyone.
And with that, he was gone with a quick slam of the door.
Everyone was again silent. Not really knowing what to say.
Celine started breathing heavily, the room felt like it was closing in on her. Feelings light headed, she stumbled out of her chair.
"I can't breath." She announced to everyone with a gasp.
"Do you need help?" Hoseok asked, looking at her with concern.
She didn't want to see everyone else's gaze. Everyone else's look of pity that they would send her. It would make her feel worse about everything.
"No, I need to be alone." She said, the tears almost breaking through.
She quickly walked out, finding a staircase that led upstairs. The girl found the first room in the hallway, opening the door and turning on the light. Though she could tell it was grand, she didn't pay any attention.
She sat on the bed, held a pillow, and cried. Wailing loudly, maybe so loud the downstairs could hear her.
Wondering why these past couple months had been the most she'd ever cried in her lifetime.
Everything was so fucked.
"Celine?" Said the soft voice of Park Jimin, muffled by a heavy door.
A voice she wanted to hear all the time, and never again.
"Jimin, not right now." She answered back, hoping he wouldn't be able to tell she was crying.
When you're around me, I can't think straight. I need to stop being romanticized by you. It's all in my head.
Of course he didn't leave. The man of her destruction opened the door. Walking in like there wasn't a problem in the world. Like he hadn't been almost beaten up by Jeongguk. Looking all concerned for her, dazed by her. Like there was nothing in the world that could tear them apart.
"I'm sorry about the way he acted. This is completely unlike him. I'm his best friend but I feel like he's so far away from me anymore." He said, almond eyes filled with an innocent apology. He sat down next to me, careful not to touch.
Even now, he's defending Jeongguk. It made Celine hate him more. There was no apparent fault with the man sitting next to her. Other than the fact he put his wellbeing last to the people who hurt him the most.
She was nothing in comparison to what Jimin felt for Jeongguk.
Jeongguk loves me. I love him. I've let him down.
"It has to be my fault."
"No it's not." Jimin said, denying what she said though he had no idea what she meant.
He looked so perfect. She could barely look at him. Her heart was racing and she didn't know why. She wasn't in the mood to kiss him right now.
It was just him.
"What if he found out Jimin? Don't you see? He's jealous of you, it's so obvious. He keeps calling me a whore. He's drinking more than ever, constantly asking where I am and how I feel about you. He knows." She said, trying to make herself sound harsher.
She watched as she flinched at her words. Holding back apologies, she kept a strong face as he looked at her. His dark brown eyes piercing into hers. Soft and delicate face engaging her in a way she couldn't, but had to resist.
"He doesn't know Celine. He's just being paranoid."
"Well what if he's not? It's not like we were disguised when we were at the museum yesterday. What if someone took a picture?"
Jimin raised a brow, questioning her nervous reasoning. He could see that she was panicking, getting caught up in the moment.
"Do you think anyone would care enough to take one? Have the audacity to send it to him?"
"You're a rich good looking CEO. Of course people care." She said, turning away from him.
"Why thank you." He said, taking what he said as a compliment. Suddenly the room was a light with his smile. His eyes turning into little black dashes on his face.
This is the man who supported me. Who talked about art with me for hours. Who made me feel alive. The one I had to let go of.
"Seriously? Now is not the time." She said, trying to scoot further away from him on the bed.
To make my stomach do somersaults.
Jimin for rid of his smile, fixing her with a serious look,"I'm sorry. Look babe, we have nothing to worry about."
"There we go again. Babe." Celine said, scoffing at the word. The room started to feel hotter and hotter.
She kept thinking of Jeongguk's words.
"I will fucking murder you."
"What's wrong with that?" The silver haired man asked, looking nonchalant. He wasn't taking it as seriously as he should of. He had enough faith in his best friend.
Celine on the other hand, did not. Not after tonight at least. There was no need for a crime of passion.
Jimin couldn't get hurt because of her.
"Everything." The younger girl said, letting her long hair become a curtain between them. She always hid behind it, whenever she felt vulnerable.
Jimin shook his head, lips pursed in a line. He knew what she was saying, but he didn't want to believe it.
"Celine, just tell me what's wrong." He said, reaching for her arm. His black pullover stretched over his hand, keeping fabric between their skin. She was grateful for that.
Or else she would have let go.
The more Jeongguk gets harder to love, the more I feel connected to you.
"You're acting like you're my boyfriend!" Celine blurted out intentionally.
It was hard, she wasn't going to lie. To watch the discouraged look on his face. Almost as if she betrayed her. She knows that the man showed her nothing but kindness. She needed to return the favor, by hurting him. They needed to get their priorities straight.
She'd rather it be her than Jeongguk. She couldn't be the reason a friendship like theirs dies. Celine couldn't bare the thought of it.
The look on Jimin's face made her heart turn cold.
His expression was stony, as if he were looking at a stranger. Eyes closed off, lips pressed together. His hand recoiled from her arm, body stiff and unmoving. Suddenly he wasn't her Jimin anymore.
But he couldn't be her Jimin.
"That's what this is about?" He asked, voice icy and blank.
God the way he set it made her hate herself. It was unfeeling. Like the CEO Park she met the first night.
The next words, she really had to force out. But she was used to acting. A fantastic liar she was.
"Yes. You're getting too close to me. Too attached. That's why Jeongguk is suspicious, when you have that love drunk, pathetic puppy dog face going in."
His face switched to anger, before quickly going blank again. The open book she had before was now closed. Everything between them was different now. Her words made that definite.
"I can't believe you right now. I can't believe what you're saying. I thought-" The man said quietly, running his fingers through his hair.
She cut him off, knowing whatever he said next might change her mind.
"Why? You know what this is Jimin. It's partly my fault too, I let you in. I let you hold me, and kiss me. You let me confide in you. We mean nothing. This isn't anything."
(A/N: I'm trying to make less of these notes, but really? Saying that Jimin should "beat up" Celine? Even as a "joke" how is that funny for a character (that represents DV victims) that she should get beat up? I do not fail to be disappointed every time I read the comments here. I've deleted some of them, but damn even the ones telling her to "go back to her toxic bf" are weird. Like "yeah you deserve abuse cuz ur trying to end an affair with Jimin" weirdos, all of you who say this.)
It's not a fairytale anymore.
Jimin looked at her, jaw clenching. She looked for any emotion. Any expression. And there was nothing.
"I know that. It sounds more like you're trying to prove it to yourself." He said, voice coming out deep and harsh. It didn't scare her, it was just unsettling.
She felt tears prick her eyes.
He's not right. He's not right.
I love Jeongguk.
"This whole thing is wrong. So fucking wrong. I don't know how either of us deluded ourselves into thinking it could be okay, or it could all work out in the end. I can't do this anymore. We can't do this anymore." Celine gasped out.
"Celine, stop. Just think about this more. You're being over dramatic." Jimin answered back immediately.
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are. I don't have those types of feelings for you anyways. I like you as a friend, and you're fun to fuck. Happy?"
It hurt. Hearing the words leave his beautiful lips. She felt the reaction in her throat, the feeling of dread in her stomach.
She knew that it was the truth. That he only cared for her because of her sister. It was strange feeling, being envious of that.
It was the right thing. What she needed to hear. But maybe not what she wanted.
"Prove it to me." She said, her breathing speeding up.
She looked up at him through her lashes, biting her lips. He was close now, dead expression still on his face. Her looked at her coldly, as if she were a speck of dust.
The only way I can be close to you is through sex.
"What?" He asked, eyes turning darker as he looked at her.
She gently pulled him closer, arching her chest into him. He looked down, taking her entire body as she locked eyes with him.
"That I mean nothing to you."
The words were intense, but said in a sultry way. The man responded, melting into the way she was aching for him.
She wanted him to hate her.
And he'd have to pretend, so that she would stay.
"You want me to fucking prove it?" He said moving closer to her grabbing her rough by the waist.
She was basically straddling him at this point, their foreheads pressed together. Breathing heavily into the cold air. Still confused at the way they seemed to mold together.
"Yes." She breathed out quietly. The word holding so much more meaning than she could ever admit.
"I told you from the beginning that this wasn't love. I guess I'll have to show you what I meant by that."
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(A/N): ahhhhh palette cleanser!
If you like reading Tae centered books, check out SOLACE! It's enemies to lovers / fantasy / dark royals type vibes and I'm currently writing it in the year 2022, so my writing has improved ALOT. (Silk sheets is from 2017) So please check it out!
https://www.wattpad.com/1163928767?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading_part_end&wp_uname=CallMeByYourName97&wp_originator=LTjQb8ViOq3s%2F2CV1diEnfALwI0ywSiaXO%2FWan6GbCeC0JRY6ssyV0rOYzM3JnnxHTJCNbuWu3dEpYARNASsKwpRXtJHnqooJJGw4Zb1TqIX17t3lLMdpt72LPyrAf8J