Someone (@Archeebe9) ask me if I could write a story about Nadine taking care of James when he injured his hands. It's supposed to be sweet and with all the feels however when I watch Turnin' Up video I've changed my mind. I need it to be sad, cause I love angst and I love sad stories even it ruin my falsies. 😂
Nadine unlocked the door to James and her house at LGV and kicked off her shoes.
They moved in together a little after James proposed and were lucky enough to find a huge house in LGV. After living in with James dad home at Bel Air they knew that they wanted to move into something similar.
It was perfect for the engaged couple and it was a nice escape from the hectic lives they led as celebrities.
It was everything Nadine wanted until a couple of days ago when the accident happened and James stopped coming home.
Now, returning home after a day of commitments and endless photoshoot left her with a lonely and empty feeling.
She'd only cook for herself tonight. She decided upon one of her favorite dishes and a glass of wine.
Alone she sat at the dinner table staring out at the pool as the night sky slowly entrenched it in shadows. She replayed the events of the day in her head.
Lauren encouragement that gave her the extra boost she needed to go talk to James, the cold stare and boiling anger she got in return when she tried to express herself to him again, and the pounding of his fist against the metal door at home.
She closed her eyes and took another sip of wine. This was not how she pictured it, this was not how she wanted it. She had spent so much time loving him over the years and they were finally together and this is how it turned out.
She began to wonder if it was all worth it-fighting the fight, being together, trying to stop doubters and all the other non-believers out there, and staying in that hell hole being a celebrity. Maybe it was tearing them apart, yet the ironic part was that it was what brought them together in the first place.
James laid on the metal, sterile, and uncomfortable bed in St. Luke's staring up at the ceiling thinking about what his nights used to be like laying next to his fiancée and hugging her slender figure.
The dented cabinet on his left only reminded him of the horrible words he said to her earlier that day and the broken look she had on her face.
He knew he hurt her and as he replayed it over and over in his head, he still couldn't figure out why he did it.
Why did I say that?
What is wrong with me?
He looked at the cabinet which showed a broken reflection. His face was reflected back to him in pieces and that is exactly the way he felt.
He was no longer all of the man he used to be. He not only physically injured a part of his body but also everything that he once could do: go out partying, shoot some music video and be there for his fiancée.
All of it seemed like pieces of a broken dish that he just couldn't glue back together again. He couldn't help but be preoccupied with all the things that he couldn't do and he could find no other way to deal with it than by pushing everyone away and taking out all his frustrations on the people that only cared and wanted to help him.
He got a sick feeling in his stomach and stared at his hand. Now, he could not make a fist with his hand naturally and he figured out his trigger: laughter.
He laughed at his stupidity earlier that day and rude words he had said to Nadine and just like that he had control over his hand.
He realized that being angry was not going to help anything and he felt awful that he hurt the person he cares the most about to see it.
He want to be with Nadine badly. He just wanted to hold her and tell her that he was sorry because at the end of the day, Bret was right.
He didn't want to be alone and he had the best woman in the world waiting for him to come home. With that, he mustered up the courage to leave his loneliness in the St. Luke's Medical room and head home.
He opened the bedroom door as quietly as he could. He didn't want to wake her.
He saw her laying facing his side of the bed with her arm wrapped around his pillow and her head gently laying on it. He felt a pit in his stomach and hated himself for leaving her alone like this.
He walked over to the bed, heart racing, and leaned over her to kiss her on the cheek.
He knew to step back because she would always jerk out of her sleep when she was surprised especially since she didn't expect anyone to be in the house. Her eyes flashed open and she quickly sat up. She blinked twice to make sure she was seeing clearly.
"James? What are you...you're home?"
"I thought I'd...come home early. I think I owe it to you," he sat down on the bed next to her. She sat all the way up and faced him.
"I don't want you to feel obligated to come home. I understand the fact that you want to be alone. I pushed you talk to me a lot more than I should have and I'm sorry. It is your life and I can't be there for you all the time. I can't understand what you are going through and..." James stopped her.
It hurt him to hear her try and justify the way he had been pushing her away. Even though he had been doing it to protect himself, it wasn't his intention to hurt her.
"Nadine...it wasn't my intention to push you away. I just...I needed to protect myself. I needed to feel like I could deal with this on my own. Maybe I needed to for a while, but I didn't want to hurt you."
"I understand, James, but can I just ask you why? Why do this on your own? We are together, a team. You may have been alone before and so was I but you don't have to be anymore."
He tensed up at her words. Not alone. It was hard to think about it. She was right. He had been alone for a long time.
After his nasty break-up with his ex and all those negativity throw at him for partying and being careless, he dealt with that on his own.
He kept it to himself and never talked to anyone about it on a personal level. Just the facts.
That was how he dealt with it. His true feelings were kept in a small box with the key tucked away inside of him and he told himself never to open it.
It made him too vulnerable and he learned quick that vulnerability can get you killed in this kind of world. Together? Team?
These were all words he once used but were rusty at that point in time. He had to learn how to use them even when he felt vulnerable.
Nadine felt unsure again. James was silent and was blankly staring into the darkness.
Was it still too soon to bring this up again?
She regretted her words now.
Then, he looked up at her in a way that made her just want to reach out to him.
She had been wanting to just be near him for so long.
"You are right," he told her. She couldn't believe it.
He knew that was what she needed to hear. And she was right. He was not alone anymore and he needed to be there for her but also let her be there for him in the same way.
She looked at him with a new hope in her eyes. The same look she gave him after the horrible encounter with JC and he told her that he would teach her to love herself.
That was when he wanted to be there for her even when she had tried to push him away to protect herself.
Now, it was his turn to accept the help.
He wanted to kiss her and naturally lifted his right hand to touch her face. Then he stopped, realizing that it was his bad hand that she wouldn't want that on her face, he thought.
He became discouraged again. He couldn't be what she needed anymore, he thought.
Then, she did something that surprised him. She took his injured hand in hers and place it against her cheek. He looked at her in shock and felt himself tearing up.
He was so thankful.
"I can't even feel it," he said trying hard not to let the tears fall. Then, she took that hand in both of hers and placed in on her chest at her heart.
"Now you can."
He looked at her and couldn't believe that she was his, he didn't deserve her.
She was crying now and so was he. He couldn't keep it in any longer and he cried uncontrollably.
Every bit of anger, self pity, blame he held inside was rolling drown his cheeks and she pulled him into a hug.
"I'm sorry," he was able to get out.
"I love you James and I just want you to stay home. I won't try to make you talk to me but please don't lock yourself away. 'I love all of you' like you told me and we can help each other."
He remembered the day he said that to her when she still hesitant to give him a chance and also the time to tell everyone that they're together as a couple in the basement of Araneta thinking that they just might not make it and couldn't believe she was thinking of it too.
"You are amazing...you know that?" He told her with a smile. She couldn't help but smile back.
"Well, I try," she joked. He took her hand into his good hand and then finally kissed her. It was a long awaited kiss after all the tension and distance between them since the incident.
He didn't resolve his own personal issues yet, and he knew it'd take some time. He also knew that Nadine would want to be involved, and he'd have to learn to open up to her. This time they'd do it together.
Now, he was sure of that.
And please do watch James music video and keep on requesting it on radios, Myx, MTV, stream it at Spotify download it. Rape the replay button if you have to.
Also I'm glad and feel relieved as well that Nadine recover fast. I was worried that it's been 2 weeks that she's sick before it was found out that she has dengue.
and to all lovely jadine writers please update WE NEED Fix.