Doodles.

I Love All of You, Not Just a Part of You

Someone (@Archeebe9) ask me if I could write a story about Nadine taking care of James when he injured his hands. It's supposed to be sweet and with all the feels however when I watch Turnin' Up video I've changed my mind. I need it to be sad, cause I love angst and I love sad stories even it ruin my falsies. 😂

Nadine unlocked the door to James and her house at LGV and kicked off her shoes.

They moved in together a little after James proposed and were lucky enough to find a huge house in LGV. After living in with James dad home at Bel Air they knew that they wanted to move into something similar.

It was perfect for the engaged couple and it was a nice escape from the hectic lives they led as celebrities.

It was everything Nadine wanted until a couple of days ago when the accident happened and James stopped coming home.

Now, returning home after a day of commitments and endless photoshoot left her with a lonely and empty feeling.

She'd only cook for herself tonight. She decided upon one of her favorite dishes and a glass of wine.

Alone she sat at the dinner table staring out at the pool as the night sky slowly entrenched it in shadows. She replayed the events of the day in her head.  

Lauren encouragement that gave her the extra boost she needed to go talk to James, the cold stare and boiling anger she got in return when she tried to express herself to him again, and the pounding of his fist against the metal door at home.

She closed her eyes and took another sip of wine. This was not how she pictured it, this was not how she wanted it. She had spent so much time loving him over the years and they were finally together and this is how it turned out.

She began to wonder if it was all worth it-fighting the fight, being together, trying to stop doubters and all the other non-believers out there, and staying in that hell hole being a celebrity. Maybe it was tearing them apart, yet the ironic part was that it was what brought them together in the first place.

James laid on the metal, sterile, and uncomfortable bed in St. Luke's staring up at the ceiling thinking about what his nights used to be like laying next to his fiancée and hugging her slender figure.

The dented cabinet on his left only reminded him of the horrible words he said to her earlier that day and the broken look she had on her face.

He knew he hurt her and as he replayed it over and over in his head, he still couldn't figure out why he did it.

Why did I say that?

What is wrong with me?

He looked at the cabinet which showed a broken reflection. His face was reflected back to him in pieces and that is exactly the way he felt.

He was no longer all of the man he used to be. He not only physically injured a part of his body but also everything that he once could do: go out partying, shoot some music video and be there for his fiancée.

All of it seemed like pieces of a broken dish that he just couldn't glue back together again. He couldn't help but be preoccupied with all the things that he couldn't do and he could find no other way to deal with it than by pushing everyone away and taking out all his frustrations on the people that only cared and wanted to help him.

He got a sick feeling in his stomach and stared at his hand. Now, he could not make a fist with his hand naturally and he figured out his trigger: laughter.

He laughed at his stupidity earlier that day and rude words he had said to Nadine and just like that he had control over his hand.

He realized that being angry was not going to help anything and he felt awful that he hurt the person he cares the most about to see it.