Ces: enjoy reading!
*=*
Chapter 49 "Fault"
Third Person's POV
"Are you sure, he's alright?" Melinda asked softly to Mabel, who seems still processing to what the doctor just told them.
Apparently, after the day Bill visited. Dipper has been acting properly, still the same but rather now, more composed and not that awkward bean you saw from Chapter 1 in this book. The others have visited him today but Mabel nor their parents have seen him. Mabel bites her lower lip, head lowered.
"I-I don't know, Mel.. I haven't seen him." She replied and sat down.
Melinda frowned sadly at that, "I see.." She muttered and glanced at the room, where it's bustling once again and she can see Dipper smiling and laughing again.
"What did the doctor mean by, 'medicines'?" She asked, although she is fully aware what medicines they are.
Mabel cleared her throat, suddenly dry. "The usual-- his antidepressants.. and others." She answered. "But, I'm pretty sure he always takes them.." She trails off.
Melinda chuckled uneasily, "as if you're saying he never got out of depression." She muttered.
The sister clenched on her pants and didn't met her gaze. She can't lie because that is true. She can't lie because until now, Dipper is still suffering.
And she can't do anything about it.
Melinda shouldn't have said that but has no choice. Mabel has to face reality, even if it's only a little bit. She ran a hand on her hair, sighing heavily, "well.. whatever you and your brother has it going--" She pats her head, "you both have to face it." She says.
Mabel knows that and she's terrified of it.
"Although, I'm pretty sure Dipper is ready to talk about it though." The red-head smirked and ruffled Mabel's head, which she yelped and almost fell off the chair.
Melinda laughed and approached the room, "Better tell your parents that he's fine now!" She exclaimed and entered the room with the soft click as it closes behind her.
Mabel could only stare at the door with a painful expression.
*=*
Bill waited outside the hospital. In the garden once again, watching the patients have their break from the suffocating four-cornered rooms. He smiled when children came and play outside by the freshly cut green grass in front of him. The boys are playing tag while the girls are playing dolls and some action figures to spice up their game. His smile went wide when a little girl with cute freckles over her nose noticed him watching, she smiled and waved her small hand.
He waved back, subtle.
"Children are nice.." He muttered with a carefree voice.
He looked at the hand that he waved. This is the same hand that Dipper held so tightly yesterday, trembling under his touch and sweaty. Most people will cringe. But he understands his position. It was very brave of him, he thought after that visit. Holding back his tears, although it's so obvious he wanted to cry so much. Until now he's still worried that he might be traumatized this time by him.
He sweat dropped. He makes a lot of traumatizing things for Dipper, huh.
Although, he feels very guilty about it. He has no idea what to do to make himself behave around him, it was getting irritating.
As much as he wanted to treasure him and just look at him from a far. A stronger force kept wanting him to be his, kept pushing him to do things that he knows the other will be scared of.
Bill groaned at this mess of a person he is. He's such a mess right now that he wanted to throw up everything he ate. He leans far back at the bench's backrest, he can feel his tensed muscles stretch as he leans further.
"Hey, big brother!"
He blinked at the voice near in front of him. Who the fuck just called me 'big brother'? He though, wanting to laugh.
Bill properly sat up right and saw the little girl earlier. He felt his heart thumped when he can see up close her freckles. He held his chest, begging for it to stop. "H-Hey, little dudette!" He greeted, stuttering.
The girl looked at him suspiciously, "are you alright, big brother?" She asked.
Bill felt crying now. He flicked his finger up to her nose, "First of, don't call me 'big brother.' Second of--"
"Then what do I call you?" She asked.
His mannerism felt in pain when she cuts him off. He glared at her but still forced to smile. He hates people with no manners, literally.
"Bill, that's my name." He answered with a sigh.
The little girl nodded as she joined her hands at her back, "nice to meet you, Bill! I can't say my name because mama told me not to tell my name strangers." She said.
He raised an eyebrow, "hah? Isn't that supposed to be, 'don't talk to strangers'?" He corrected.
She shake her head, "no. What if a late student came to me and ask where's the nearest bus station? If I don't tell him where it is because I can't talk to strangers, that student will be late!" She explained.
Bill felt the burden of the world in his shoulders all of a sudden. He sweat dropped and smiled forcely, "t-that actually makes sense.." He muttered.
The girl grinned widely, "so, are you okay, Bill?" She asked, again.
He sighed, "why keep asking that, kiddo?"
"I'm concerned."
"Why concerned for a stranger?"
"Because someone up there," she pointed up, "keeps looking down on you."
Bill blinked. He looked up at the building behind him and saw no one. Now he feels being tricked. He looked back at the girl, "oi, there's no one there--"
The little girl puffed one cheek and rolled her eyes, "obviously no one is there now. He saw you looked up." She sarcastically explained.
Bill is one inch from pinching this girl's chubby cheeks. He rolled his eyes back at her, "well, whoever it is, they must have a crush on me--" Then he realized something. "Wait, you said, he."
She nodded, "yes. Pale--"
Bill stiffen. No, he isn't staying at this hospital.
"--has brown hair."
He sighed in relief. He felt the tension on his muscles gone. He laughed hesitantly. What was he thinking anyway? Thinking he might be here. He ran a hand on his hair and phewed.
"Ah.. yeah, I know that guy." He chuckled. "Just let him be."
"Are you sure?" She asked.
He nodded, "yeah. He's a friend--" he gritted his teeth, "of mine."
The little girl oh'ed in understanding. She was about to say something next but her friends called out for her. Bill managed to get her name. Apparently too, she didn't noticed this cheat.
"Okay-! I'll be there!" She yelled back.
She turned back to him, smiling, "I'll see you next time, Bill!" She stated with a funny salute.
"Yeah, don't bother me anymore." He lied with a tease.
The girl stuck out her tongue and ran away from him. She approached her friends with a couple of nurses, both, men and women, accompany them back to their rooms to rest and eat for their snacks and medicines.
Bill narrowed his eyes at the figure of the girl, "bye bye, Tiana."
While staring for more seconds, he quickly looked up and finally saw the face he wanted to see.
Dipper panicked when he was seen. His face went red and sweaty. He hides but waved his hand as a greeting.
Bill smiled sweetly at the gesture. Instead of returning the wave.
He cupped both of his hands around his mouth and shouted:
"I'll come up stairs!"
Dipper heard that and popped out his head again. He felt happy about that announcement. He tried to hide his smile but couldn't. He nodded enthuastically, still red as a tomato.
Bill grinned and stood up from his seat.
*=*
Later that night, Dipper is asleep.
His parents are at the hospital with Mabel. They talked to the doctor in-charge in Dipper's condition. The report is a huge relief, especially to the mother. She wouldn't last another day visiting in a hospital to see her son. She doesn't want to see him wearing the same hospital gown.
"If he doesn't show any negative signs tomorrow, then it'll be sure he'll be released the day after tomorrow." The doctor further explained.
The mother sighed in relief, hands clenched together with her husband's, "oh-- thank god." She whispered, "thank the gods!" She whines under her breath.
The doctor smiled at the reaction. Eventhough he has seen these many reactions ever since but still this still warms his heart.
"Thank you so much, doc." The father said, lips reaching until his ears.
He nodded, "all is well, if it's my opinion." He added, "let us just wait until tomorrow for the results and if it's well, he can be home before New Year's Eve." He chuckled.
The family nodded and thanked him many more. The doctor left with a satisfied smile on his lips.
Mabel stared at her parents, all smiling and relieved. She wishes she can be the same too. Until now, she still couldn't forgive herself after every pat in the back and patient smiles. She felt so horrible to the extent she thinks she's getting depressed.
She clenched her hands on her sides, "h-hey--" She whispered.
Two pair of eyes looked at her miserable state.
"The doctor said that he's awake, right?" She asked, smiling as she can.
The mother flashed a quick pity look then smiled sadly at her, "sweetie, do you want to talk to him?" She questioned, holding both of her hands firmly.
Mabel nodded.
"Then go." She answered, squeezing them tight.
"W-What about you? Don't you want to talk to him either?"
The parents looked at each other. Eyes communicating in a silent conversation. The mother chuckled helplessly, "oh love, we want to so badly.." She whispered, pain colored on her words. "But, for now, we just can't--" Her father squeezed Mabel's shoulder, "or rather, he isn't ready." He said.
"Please don't grow up like us," mother stroked her hair, "and talk to your brother." She said.
Mabel stared at their faces. Those faces that suffered so much yet still chose to be patient for the two of them. She bites her lower lip and nodded, "okay." She paused, "I will."
They smiled at her and stands away from her path.
Mabel stands in front of the door, hands shaking, heart bursting.
She knocked, "ca-can I come in?"
"Yes, please." A fast answer.
She gulped and opened the door.
The first thing that she sees inside the room is the window. Showing the snow falling from the clouds, snowflakes melting once it lands on the warm glass. She awed at it. She loved the snow once. Only once. She closed the door behind her and took a deep breath in. She sniffed. The air is mixed by the smell of aftershave and medicine.
Dipper was the first one to speak, "hi." He greeted with a wave.
Mabel swallowed, unable to speak.
He smiled helplessly, "i'm not mad, sis."
She didn't answer.
"Here," he pats the space beside him, "sit."
Mabel puffed one cheek, "i'm not your dog--" She shuts her mouth fast. Holy crap what am I saying-- she thought, panicking.
Dipper laughed, "shut up, dummy. Will you please just sit here?" He asked. This time more formal and proper.
She gave him a hesitant expression but soon followed.
Dipper has to be extra careful when it comes talking to his sister now. He knows how regretful she is after what she had done but either way, he doesn't blame her for that. He doesn't blame her or rather, he was thankful for it.
The air between them tensed even more when Mabel sat next to him. With a small amount of space between them, their shoulders almost touching.
"Is mom and dad there?" He asked under his breath. His sister nodded, "yeah.." She paused, hesitant, "do-do you want to meet t-them?" She asked, her voice full of hope.
It was painful for Dipper to say no but still, he did. That earned a quick disappointed look on Mabel but quickly changed it with a tight patient smile on her face. He frowned in sorrow, feeling sorry. He sighed and placed his head on her shoulder which made Mabel tensed up.
"Mabes.. I can't talk to them. Not now, at the very least." He whispered, hands crossed on his lap. "I know this disappoint you but I just can't bring myself to face them." He said.
Mabel didn't say anything, rather because she's speechless.
"Not after everything that happened.."
"I know, it's fine." She says, quick. She doesn't want to talk about this right now.
Dipper frowned, "Do you feel guilty?"
Mabel laughed sarcastically, "does it show in my face?"
"I'm not mad and I don't blame you, Mabel." He pressed, running out of patience.
"Oh, shut up." Mabel whispered, harsh. She had enough of this.
She stood up, leaving Dipper on the bed. He looked at her with a straight face, nor saying anything. He wants to listen. He needs to listen to her. Mabel let out a frustrated groan, ruffling her hair at the sides. Making her look like a freak than she should be.
"It's all my fault! If only I just let you be, none of these will ever happen!" She exclaimed, "if only I don't worry about you so much, then you won't need to be inside this damn dull room that we both hate so much! I am sorry, Dipper. I didn't mean to hurt you nor make you afraid of me--" she gasped, choking on her own tears.
She clenched on her sides, "I don't want you to be afraid of me.."
Mabel stood there, sobbing. Her sharp intake of breaths and sniffles are heard inside the four corners of this room. It was pitiful at the very least. A sister who only wanted to help but God doesn't want her to. Dipper could only stare at her miserable state. It hurts him to see her like this but still, he wants her to atone what she had done. He closed his eyes and wonder, what could have happened if Mabel didn't came?
He chuckled at himself. Obviously, I would have been wasted.
He sighed and stood up from his bed, finding his balance. When he did, he approached his sister and enveloped her in his hug.
Mabel stayed still but cried in his shoulder, chanting her sorry's.
"It's fine, sis." Dipper whispered in her ear, "I forgive you.."
Suddenly, he can remember what happened last night. That person came, giving him help, him not wanting it, and confessing.
A tear escaped from his eye, "it's not your fault."
It wasn't his', either.
*=*
Ces: fucking finally i finished this chapter jfc
Also, it's my birthday! So this is my gift for ya'll!
Words: 2509