Hey, guys! Sorry it's been so long since I last updated! I got back from America on Tuesday and everything's just been so hectic that I didn't get a chance to update until now. I made it a longer chapter to make it up to you, so I hope you like it! :)
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Enjoy!
**
I felt like I’d been walking for hours.
My feet were aching like never before and I was beginning to feel extremely exhausted. The only thing that had kept me going on my journey back so far was the bottle of Vodka I’d taken with me. I was feeling more drunk than ever.
I’d not really had a clue where I was going throughout the whole time I’d been walking. It’d seemed like I’d gone in circles for about half an hour, but through my drunkenness, I was relieved to see that certain things were starting to look familiar.
I wasn’t even bothered that I was probably going to be thoroughly yelled at by dad as soon as I set foot through the front door. I’d turned my phone off so that he couldn’t ring me and demand I come home. Since leaving Ronnie and walking alone, I’d began to dwell on the whole Mothers’ Day thing again, and it’d not done my mood any favours.
I eventually found the park and cut through it until I was out on the road leading to the neighbourhoods. There weren’t many cars about, which made me question what time it was, but without my phone I didn’t have a clue.
However, just as I’d began to truly notice the lack in people driving past, a car turned the corner from behind me.
At first, I didn’t pay the slightest bit of attention to it and just kept walking. It was as it began edging closer to the sidewalk that I grew just a little bit worried. The pace in which they were driving in was slowing gradually, and they stopped completely when they pulled up right next to me.
Obviously, I wasn’t particularly thrilled. All I could think about was how I was going to get myself out of this situation while I was this drunk, but all those worries vanished when the person rolled their window down and Zacky popped his head out.
“So what do we have here?” He said, his voice low as he raised his eyebrows.
I was just relieved to see someone I knew, and with a car. I wasn’t sure I could walk for much longer.
“Oh my God, Zacky...thank God you’re here.” I drunkenly replied, stumbling slightly. “My feet are killing me.”
“From what exactly?” His eyebrows rose even more.
“I’ve been walking for ages!” I whined.
“From where?”
I frowned, realising that I didn’t actually know where I’d been. I’d just followed Ronnie and I’d been lucky to find my way back. As I thought about it, the need to sit down began to intensify, and I yanked the car door open, slumping inside and sitting down.
“It was...some guy’s house...” I said, unscrewing the cap off the bottle of Vodka and taking a sip. “Across town, I think.”
He seemed to just stare at me for a moment, before reaching over. “Give me that.”
“Hey, what the fuck?” I pulled the bottle out of his reach. “Not cool!”
“You’re in a state.” He snapped. “What’s your dad gonna say?”
“Oh my God, I don’t care!” I whined again.
“You will when he stops you from going out again.”
I said nothing for a moment. He was right to a degree, but there was no way I would admit that.
“Yeah, well, I have my ways.” I spoke, quieter this time.
It was his turn to pause then. He shook his head, a slight smile pulling at his lips as he stared at me.
“Don’t I know it...” He murmured.
I frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” He reached out again. “Just give me the bottle.”
I pouted just a little, probably looking like a child. I was trying my absolute hardest not to act like an idiot through my drunkenness, but I could tell I had already failed.
“Why do you have to ruin my fun?” I asked, huffing slightly.
“I’m looking out for you.” His hand reached out further, almost getting the bottle, though I pulled it away again. “Give it to me, Midge. I swear to God, just give me the bottle.”
I narrowed my eyes and finally gave in, shoving the bottle into his hands as I muttered angrily to myself about not needing anyone to look out for me. He immediately began driving as I continued my drunken, pissed off ramblings. I wasn’t intending Zacky to hear, but it was just my luck that he did.
He scowled. “Yeah, because you’re really proving that right now.”
My guard rose ever so slightly. I didn’t want him to think that I was weak and defenceless. I’d never had anyone to look out for me through my life and I didn’t need anyone now.
“I’ve done fine on my own for seventeen years...I think I’ll be okay.” I mirrored his annoyed expression.
“Evidently not.”
It was then I grew properly pissed off. I didn’t need comments like that, even if it was from the guy that I held ridiculous feelings for.
“You know what?” I snapped. “I don’t need your fucking opinions. Let me out of the car.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, he locked the doors. “What are you playing at?”
“What the fuck do you mean what am I playing at?” I glared.
“You run off...get yourself in a state...and then try to go again!” He raised his voice. “What is going on with you? Where did you even go?”
“I told you I went across town!”
“Why?” He continued to question.
He was pissing me off more than I had been in a long time. I wasn’t sure what it was, whether it was a combination between the anger behind his voice and all the questions, but I could feel myself getting angry. And emotional.
“Because I got invited to some guy’s house!” I matched the volume of his voice. “What’s with all the questions?”
He glanced at me. “What guy?”
“I don’t know who the owner of the house was, but I got invited by that guy from the station.” I paused, thinking about it. “I bumped into him...his name’s Ronnie.”
Immediately, he clenched his jaw, his knuckles turning white as his hand tightened around the steering wheel. I was surprised by his reaction to say the least...almost as if the mention of the name had him fuming.
“Radke?” He spat.
My eyebrows shot up. Ronnie was such a common name. How come everyone seemed to know him around here except me?
“Oh, you know him?” I blinked.
He shook his head furiously. “If Brian hears about this...”
I was so confused that I couldn’t even think. “What the hell has Brian got to do with anything?”
“Ronnie knew Linds when she was still in care.” He explained.
“I know.” I shrugged. “He told me.”
My calmness seemed to completely irritate Zacky, as he tightened both hands on the steering wheel again. I could almost feel his anger.
“He’s a screwed up fuckwad with a drug addiction and an alcohol problem that he doesn’t want to kick.” He spat. “As soon as the guys hear about this...”
“Oh, so you’re gonna drop me in shit now? That’s really fucking adorable, Zacky.” I glared again. “He seemed perfectly nice to me and I had a good time.”
Realising that I’d grown just as annoyed as he had, he sighed, calming ever so slightly.
“Not yet.” He said. “But if he lays one finger on your or puts you in any danger, I will tell them straight away.”
“I’m not a fucking idiot, Zacky!” I snapped. “I can look after myself. What’s with all this over-protective bullshit?”
He sighed again, shaking his head. “You’re family.”
“Yeah, and I’m fine.”
He paused, clenching his jaw again. I could tell he just wanted to come right out and say something, but whether he would, I didn’t know.
“Yeah, Midge?” He glared at me. “But for how much longer, though?”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh my God, I had one evening away from you guys and you start acting like I’m some fucking waster!”
“Well maybe if you weren’t acting like one...”
That was the final straw for me. I didn’t want to be around him if he was going to say things like that. It wasn’t fair.
“Fuck you.” I spat.
“That came out wrong.” He chewed his lip in an annoyingly attractive way. “Sorry.”
I scowled. “I’m so glad I walked out of that damn meal.”
I could immediately see the curiosity in Zacky’s face. To be honest, it surprised me that he’d not asked me where I’d gone.
“Care to elaborate?” He asked, his irritation slightly returning, at which I scowled again.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t want to sit there at some bullshit meal and rave about other people’s wonderful mothers, but Mothers’ Day isn’t really my thing, okay? Sorry to disappoint.”
He paused, seeming to think about that, before speaking. “...Shit.”
“Yeah.”
He calmed immediately, not seeming as angry as he exhaled, glancing over at me. His gaze seemed to weaken me too, as I found myself quickly becoming emotional over the subject. I didn’t want to think or talk about it.
“Can you let me out of the car now, please?” I asked completely calmly, my voice cracking.
“Nope.”
“Please?” I repeated, this time looking away and hiding my face as I tried to subtly wipe the tears that were beginning to fall. I just didn’t want him to see me cry.
“No, Midge.” He refused again. “You shouldn’t have to be alone like this. I’m not letting you out.”
His refusal just triggered my tears even more. I knew the alcohol was probably adding to it a hell of a lot, but my main, pathetic worry, was that I just didn’t want to cry in front of Zacky.
“I don’t care.” I insisted. “I just really don’t want to be trapped in a car right now.”
A sigh escaped his lips as he glanced at me again. I could tell he was battling with thoughts of what to do in his mind as he chewed at his lip. He just kept glancing at me and back at the road, before he eventually exhaled deeply.
“You want me to...park up somewhere?” He suggested. “Maybe go for a walk?”
It didn’t take away the fact that I’d just cried in front of him, but it was better than nothing. At least it meant that I could get some air.
I silently nodded, wiping at my eyes, and Zacky continued to drive on for a bit. I didn’t know where exactly we were going, but he knew the area better than me, so it didn’t really matter. Soon, he found a parking space in front of what looked like another park—a different one to the one I had been in—and he pulled up, turning the engine off.
“Come on.” He looked at me again, trying to send me a smile.
I couldn’t return it, so I simply got out of the car and shut the door behind me, waiting for Zacky as he also stepped out, locked it, and then came to stand in front of me. My tears had halted, so I was just sniffing occasionally, but I could tell by the way he was wearily staring at me that he was scared I would start crying again.
“I fucking hate emotions.” I muttered, wiping at my wet lashes.
I knew Zacky well enough to expect some sort of amused reaction at that, but this time, he simply stared at me with a sympathetic expression, and then he reached out and pulled me into a hug.
“If it helps,” He spoke, rubbing my back soothingly, “Sometimes, I just want to drive my car off a fucking cliff.”
I’d honestly not expected him to say that. He seemed like a pretty happy person, and Charlotte and Linds had said that his life was getting back on track after Gena had cheated and left him. But then again, that could do more damage to a person than anyone could imagine.
I sighed, sniffling again. “I feel like that every minute of every single day...and I can’t even do anything about it.”
“You can talk to me.”
“And get a lecture thrown in my face? I’ll pass.” I pulled away. “I need to walk.”
I knew I sounded rude and selfish, but Zacky had no idea how much talking to him, could really do me damage. I was in an awkward situation as it was with these feelings for him that I couldn’t seem to shift. Him being kind and understanding towards me would just make it worse.
I didn’t look to see his reaction as I turned and began walking in the first direction I was facing. I was headed towards some path that lead to a hill, trees dotted to the side of the concrete, casting shadows over it. I didn’t even care that it’d be hard to see.
I contemplated stopping for a moment, as I couldn’t hear any signs that Zacky had followed, but as I pushed that thought aside and carried on walking, I suddenly felt him grab my hand. There was no chance to even think about what he was doing before he spoke.
“You’d be surprised how similar we are in feelings right now, Midge.” He said, his tone completely serious as he stared at me.
I just froze, not having the slightest clue what to think as I stared down at our hands. He didn’t let go, or show any indication that he was planning to any time soon. I didn’t know what the fuck he was playing at.
When I said nothing, he squeezed my hand, trying to regain my attention. I finally managed to blink out of my dazed state, snapping my eyes back up to his face as a blush immediately coloured my cheeks.
“Oh...uh...sorry.” I idiotically stammered, blushing even harder as I pulled away from his hand and continued to walk. I just wanted to escape the embarrassment. “I, uh...I don’t know where I’m going.”
He chuckled attractively and began to walk by my side. “Neither do I, but we can always find our way back.”
“Hm...” I murmured. “Is my dad really pissed at me?”
His immediate hesitation to answer told me that my dad evidently was mad with me. A groan escaped my lips. That would just be another lecture I really didn’t need.
“Because he loves you.” Zacky immediately defended him. “But to be honest, as soon as you get home, he won’t even care about you running off. He’ll just be glad you’re okay.”
The thought of going home was the most unappealing thing I’d heard throughout our whole conversation. I liked being out and drunk, even if I was extremely emotional right now.
Or maybe I just liked being around Zacky.
“I don’t wanna go home.” I tipped my head back, groaning again, before then looking at him with a sigh. “Look...you really don’t have to worry about me, okay? I know the Avenged family has this “always look out for each other” rule...but I’m used to looking after myself.”
He immediately rolled his eyes at that. “Well, you’ll get used to this. To being looked after.”
I sighed again as I shook my head, knowing all along that he wouldn’t accept my reluctance to have people looking out for me. It wasn’t my fault...it just didn’t feel normal. My mum had literally never cared about me in the slightest, so the fact that I now had a whole family of people that cared was sort of overwhelming.
Instead of telling me to suck it up and embrace the care that I was being offered, Zacky surprisingly reached down and grabbed my hand again. I was waiting for him to give it a comforting squeeze and let go, but he didn’t. He just continued to keep hold of it as we walked.
“You just need to let your guard down, that’s all.” He told me. “But that’ll come in time.”
I couldn’t even say anything, as I was still surprised at the way he was holding my hand. It felt strange...but right. And as soon as that thought entered my mind, I wanted to slap myself. I shakily exhaled ever so slightly, probably looking like a total idiot.
Zacky smiled slightly. “You know, you should stay away from alcohol. It is a depressant, after all.”
“Yeah, um, there’s absolutely no chance of that happening.” I raised my eyebrows.
He squeezed my hand and chuckled. “We’ll see.”
The way he squeezed it drew my attention back to the way he was still holding it. I was unsure of what to do. I knew he was probably just being nice, but I wasn’t entirely sure if it was normal for him to act this way.
“It’s pretty cold out.” He commented, before I could question his actions.
My eyebrows shot up again. “It’s summer.”
“It’s evening.”
He had a point, but I wasn’t the slightest bit cold.
“Let’s remember I lived in England for seventeen years.” I smiled slightly. “This is hot for me.”
He chuckled at that, shaking his head in amusement, but now that I’d drawn my attention to the temperature, I was actually feeling pretty hot.
“Too hot, in fact.” I frowned, tugging at my sweatshirt as I tried to get it off. I had a tank top underneath, which was why I was so confused at Zacky’s surprised reaction as he nervously looked away. It took me a moment to realise he probably didn’t know that I was wearing more than one layer of clothing.
“Why?” He laughed nervously.
Finally managing to get the sweatshirt off, I straightened my shirt out. “I just feel hot.”
He laughed again, this time more comfortably. “Jeez, for a second there, I thought you were stripping or something.”
“Yeah, because I’d really strip down to my bra while walking up a hill.” I sarcastically said, rolling my eyes, and then immediately blushing when I realised how open I was being.
He simply shrugged, smirking. “Well, this is California.”
“And I’m from England.” I smirked back.
“That, you are.”
“I wish I wasn’t, though.” I sighed. “I hate this stupid accent.”
Zacky smiled. “I think it’s cute.”
I was surprised to see that almost immediately, he then blushed. He didn’t seem like the blushing type for one thing, but it just made my embarrassment intensify, and I found my cheeks reddening again.
Before it could get any more awkward, I tried my hardest to act like I’d not heard his comment, and let go of his hand, quickening his pace as I continued to walk forward.
“Hey, why are you rushing?” He came after me, almost falling into my stride.
“I’m not rushing.” I quickly lied, not even looking at him.
He pulled me back gently by my wrist. “Well then, slow down.”
“Why?” I finally looked at him.
“Well, why not?”
I didn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t exactly tell him I’d been rushing because he made me act like some stupid, girly thirteen year old.
“Just...I...I don’t know.” I stammered, blinking.
He chuckled at that and simply stared at me, not saying anything. I managed to actually stare back for a moment, before it all seemed to grow too intense and I had to break my gaze.
“I like this side to you.” Zacky suddenly said, tilting his head as he continued to look at me.
I frowned, confused. “What side?”
“You’re so lively and upbeat.” He explained with a smile. “Granted, you aren’t exactly sober, but I just like it.”
His words had me intrigued. After everything that had happened back in England, I obviously wasn’t the happiest person in the world, but Zacky was making it sound like I was just depressed all the time.
“Aren’t I usually upbeat?” I questioned
“Well...not exactly.” He frowned back at me.
I raised my eyebrows. “How have I been?”
“Sad.”
I’d not even noticed it, but I was quickly realising he was correct to a degree. I got upset about everything a lot...and it had showed way more than I thought it had.
“I guess you’re right...” I blinked, still deep in thought. “Hm. Oh well.”
“Well, it’s not oh well.” He replied. “There has to be a solution.”
“Alcohol, of course.”
He suddenly stopped me, frowning again. “Do you really depend on it that much?”
I’d kind of just blurted it out without thinking about it, but that seemed to bother Zacky.
I shrugged. “It helps.”
“Well, not properly.” He bit back. “It gives you a few hours away from reality, but then it only hurts more. There are other ways. Other people that can make you feel better?”
“What...like counsellors?” I scowled. “Fuck that.”
He simply chuckled. “No. People like us.”
He was trying to be helpful. I knew that...but it bugged me. I was still trying to adjust to the protectiveness and the care I was being given. Right now, it was too much.
“Yeah, well, people like you are too good for people like me.” I quietly murmured, staring down at my hands.
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He shook his head. “People like you are too good for people like Ronnie.”
Where Ronnie actually fit into the conversation, I didn’t know, but it irritated me a little that Zacky had brought him up.
“Don’t. I’ve met him twice...and he’s a nice guy.” I said, looking away. A thought soon hit me, and I looked back at Zacky again. “By the way...do you know how old he is, by any chance?”
“No?”
“Hmm...” I murmured. “There can’t be that much of an age gap though, right?”
He raised his eyebrows. “And this bothers you, why?”
“Oh, he...” I blinked, then blushing again. “Never mind.”
“You did things?” Zacky’s eyebrows shot up even more.
It took me a short moment to realise what he was thinking, and my eyes widened as soon as I did.
“Whoa, not like that!” I blushed. “He...he kissed me, that’s all.”
A pause then came from Zacky. He wasn’t looking at me anymore, but he seemed deep in thought until his eyes finally flickered back to my face.
“Like...proper?” He asked, a look of disgust making its way onto his face.
“Well...yeah...” I answered quietly.
“Tonight?”
I just nodded, not really understanding why it mattered. I guess I just hoped that he wouldn’t tell anyone.
“Oh...” He frowned, diverting his gaze again. “Okay.”
“I...What’s up?” I asked.
He shrugged, beginning to walk again. “Nothing.”
“Okay...” I blinked. “I left as soon as it happened but I really should have told him that I have feelings for someone else and I—‘’
I immediately cut myself off as soon as I realised what I was saying. That was probably the stupidest thing I’d said that night, and Zacky had heard every word.
He laughed surprisingly sarcastically. “What was his name again? Dylan?”
“Yeah...that’s him...” I blushed.
I was waiting for some sort of witty reply, though he merely smirked and looked away slightly, not saying anything else.
I wanted to change the subject to absolutely anything but this, but my phone rang just then, grabbing both our attention at the “Unknown Number” flashing on my screen.
“H-hello?” I hesitantly answered
“Hey, Midge.” Ronnie’s voice echoed through the phone casually. “You home yet?”
“Um...not yet.” I answered with a frown. “But I’m with my uncle and I’m okay. Uh...how did you get my number?”
“I took it from your phone when you weren’t looking.” He answered casually.
Before I could even think of a reply to that, Zacky cleared his throat, looking at me sternly.
“Ronnie, I’ve gotta go...” I announced, feeling slightly uncomfortable under Zacky’s gaze. “I’ll text you or something.”
I didn’t wait for Ronnie’s reply as I cut the call off and stared at Zacky with raised eyebrows. He mirrored my expression.
“So, how’d he get your number?” He asked me.
“He took it out of my phone when I wasn’t looking.” I repeated Ronnie’s words.
“Creepy.”
I wanted to scowl as I began walking again. As much as I liked Zacky—and I knew I liked him too much—his opinions could get a little annoying.
“You’re never going to have anything nice to say about him, are y—‘’ My words cut off as I stumbled ever so slightly, managing to somehow trip over my own feet and fall to the floor, my head hitting the ground. A loud laugh immediately escaped my lips at my foolishness, but Zacky looked pretty worried.
“Shit.” He bent down in a fluster, putting his hands under my forearms to pull me up. “Are you alright? Did you hit your head?”
“Yes.” I continued to laugh.
“It’s not funny!” He exclaimed. “Oh my God, are you sure you didn’t hurt yourself?”
“It is funny! Loosen up a little!” I replied. “I did hurt myself, but...” I couldn’t even finish the sentence as I began laughing again. I could already feel it was going to be hard to stop.
“Come here.” He smiled, putting an arm around my waist as he helped me walk.
I was becoming more and more open and comfortable, as I buried my head into his side, continuing with my fit of hysterical laughter.
Zacky shook his head, evidently amused. “Man, you’re finding this hilarious.”
“Is it weird that I kind of love making a fool out of myself?” I finally managed to calm down, smiling rather than laughing this time.
He playfully ruffled my hair. “Of course not.”
It fell slightly silent between us for a moment, before I was suddenly met with a bout of confidence. I couldn’t seem to stop myself from reaching out and taking Zacky’s hand, even though I was screaming at myself in my head not to.
I was relieved when Zacky smiled and didn’t pull away, but it only made me more confident, and I suddenly changed it from just normally holding his hand, to lacing our fingers together. He just squeezed my hand tighter.
“I think I might be drunk.” I giggled, burying my face into his side again.
“You think?” He chuckled. “Let’s get you back to the car.”
It was then that reality hit me. The car...the fact that he’d soon be dropping me off at home. The fact that I was inappropriately holding my uncle’s hand.
“Wait!” I suddenly blurted out, pulling on his hand to make him stop. He blinked at me. “I...”
“What?”
“You’re doing this wrong.” I frowned down at our hands. “You’re supposed to pull away.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Well...why do it if you expect me to pull away?”
Suddenly, my confident side made a show again, and I found myself smirking.
“I do whatever I want.” I told him, widening my smirk.
He simply smirked back at me. “Oh, I know you do.”
My smirk then fell into a frown as my thoughts entered my mind, and I pulled completely away from Zacky, beginning to walk away.
“Maybe not everything I want.” I murmured. “Some things are forbidden.”
He fell into my stride, staring at me. “Like what?”
There was no way I was going to answer that. It would just give everything away, and that really would be pushing it too far. I just simply smiled, tapping the side of my nose with my finger. Zacky, however, stared back at me seriously. I didn’t back down, thankfully. The small smile just stayed on my face.
“Come on.” He eventually sighed, pulling me in the direction of the car, which we’d been walking in this whole time.
I just let him silently guide me back, until we were finally at his car. As he unlocked the door, I edgily slid into the seat and stared at him.
“Uh...Could we possibly go back to yours?” I asked nervously. “I don’t really wanna face my dad right now...”
“Sure.” He replied with a shrug. “But he can’t know.”
I blinked at him, confused. “Why?”
His gaze met mine for a moment, and he then frowned. “You know why.”
I didn’t know why in the slightest, but I was intrigued to say the least.
“He let me stay at yours the other night while he was out of town...” I pointed out, my tone questioning.
It was Zacky’s turn to blink then, and he suddenly snapped out of whatever mindset he was in, looking pretty pissed off with himself.
“You’re right. Totally right.” He replied, not looking at me. “You should call him, tell him where you are and shit.”
I frowned again, still completely confused. But I wasn’t going to push the matter any further.
“Okay then...” I muttered.
And as I dialled my dad’s number, Zacky revved the engine and pulled out of the parking space, muttering angrily to himself about something I couldn’t quite catch.
And something I probably wouldn’t understand, anyway.