Laura
I forced myself to get out of bed to get Mira ready for school. It's been two days since I rejected Kai and the pain was showing no sign of fading away any time quick. I sat on the edge of the bed and massaged my temples, hoping to relieve the pressure in my head.
Living in the same house as him just made matters even worse. I could feel him everywhere and his scent coated every surface, even the furniture in my own room. It made Amaranth and I whimper in agony, knowing our Mate was so close and always around, but out of reach.
We couldn't have him because if we did, it would be the end of us. We would become a hollow shape, drained of energy. Kai would use us and I knew I couldn't let him, no matter how much I wanted my Mate.
Amaranth was restless and tense, especially after barely sleeping the last few nights. "Laura, are we sure he wants to use us? Maybe he really does want us. Can't we give him a chance?"
I sighed and rose to my feet, getting dressed for the day. "He revoked his rejection right after we shifted, Ama. He doesn't want us, he wants you. If he hadn't seen you were a white wolf, he probably would have continued to ignore us. Besides, I will not seal the Mating Bond with him just to give him a chance. Once we're Mated, we are bound for life."
"We don't have to Mate him, not yet. But please, can we be close to him? Maybe he will warm up to us and he will want us for us. Please, Laura, please, just a chance."
I knew it was wrong, but I wanted what she wanted. I wanted to feel Kai close to me, even though it hurt like seven shades of hell. It was like sitting a drug addict in front of a syringe of heroin, bound to a chair. They were so close to what they desperately wanted, but unable to reach it. Kai was my heroin, a damaging substance that I still couldn't let go.
I closed my bedroom door behind me and went a few doors down until I reached Mira's room. Easing the door open, I saw she was already awake, sitting under her covers with Connor lying next to her. She looked as though she had been crying. I was ready to sprint over to her, but her next words stopped me.
"I never wanted to hurt Laura," she sniffled to her Mate. "It's my fault everyone hated her."
Connor wrapped an arm around her shoulder and let her rest her head on his shoulder. "It's not your fault, Mira. You didn't know our pack was going to be so mean to her here."
"But I should have told them to shut up when they said mean things to her! I should have told them she could shift and kick their butts," she sobbed. A small smile broke out on my lips, her little outcry warming my heart. She wanted to protect me like I protected her.
My smile quickly vanished when she spoke again. "Maybe I should break the Guardian Bond."
My heart sank to the floor, hurting as much as when Kai first rejected me. My throat tightened and tears welled in my eyes, threatening to fall. Did she no longer want us?
Connor also seemed shocked by her outburst. "Why would you want that? Do you no longer want Laura as your Guardian?"
"I do," she wailed, "but she is so sad here. Everyone's been so mean and I don't want them to keep hurting her. I want her to be happy like she makes me happy."
"But won't releasing her make you sad? You said she was like your mum," Connor pointed out.
"It will, but it would make me more sad if she had to stay here and be miserable."
I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed the door fully open and strode across the room. The two children jerked their heads to look at me with wide eyes. I sat myself on the bed and pulled Mira to me, enveloping her in a tight hug.
"Nothing would make me more miserable than you letting me go, baby," I whispered into her hair, before peppering her face with gentle kisses.
"But you're hurting. I know you are," Mira cried, pressing her face into the crook of my neck, her tears drenching my collar bone.
"Mira, look at me." I gently tilted her chin to look up into my eyes. Using my thumb, I wiped her tears away. "I will admit that most of the people here have made it clear that I am not their friend, but I don't care. The small group of people who have accepted me make me happy enough, and there is no way in hell that I will leave you. Even if you break the Guardian Bond, I will still stay here to make sure you are safe."
"But it's not fair that you can't be happy! Why does it always have to be you suffering?"
My wolf and I felt our heart warm for our Protected. She was so selfless and caring, even if she didn't have to be. I planted a loving kiss on her forehead, cradling her in my arms. "Being your Guardian is all the happiness I need."
She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on tightly like a koala. I rubbed my hands comfortingly over her back. I looked over at Connor, who looked at me and his Mate with uncomfortable eyes, looking as though he was witnessing something he shouldn't. I extended an arm to him, pulling him into my embrace.
It took him a moment to relax, but when he did, he rested his head on my other shoulder. I wrapped my arms around both of the children, both of them clinging to me like they were terrified I'd leave.
"Please never leave, Laura," he whispered into my shoulder, his voice slightly raw, like he was holding back tears. I held them to me even tighter.
"Even though you are not my Protected, Connor, I will keep you just as safe as I keep Mira. I will forever care for the both of you, okay?" I whispered into their hair, kissing both of their temples.
We sat still for another few minutes before getting ready for school.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dropping off the kids took longer than I thought. When we had reached the school I had to reassure them both I wouldn't be leaving hem while they were in school. Then I had been encircled by Mira's classmates, all of them asking if I was going to teach them again today. I told them I would think about it only if they behaved for Ms. Sheila.
That made them all run to class to begin showing they would be good for their teacher. The only one who remained behind was Mellie, who clung to my thigh, her hands clasped together around my limb like a Swiss lock.
I patted her head. "What's wrong, Mellie? Don't you want to go to class?"
She shook her head. "I want to play. Play with me?"
I chuckled, crouching down to her height. "But how will you learn? Ms. Sheila probably prepared a lot of fun things to teach you today. You don't want to miss that, do you?"
She bit index finger, and I almost chuckled at her thinking face. She was absolutely adorable. "But can't you teach me?"
I shook my head now. "Sorry, Mellie, I'm not as smart as Ms. Sheila. But how about you come over for some lunch with Mira and Connor and you can teach me all you learnt today?"
Her eyes lit up like a bonfire. "Really?"
I nodded. "Of course, sweetie. But I'll have to ask your parents permission first. Where would I find them?"
Her eyes suddenly dulled and I immediately realised I had said something wrong. The little girl looked at her feet, drawing circles in the dirt with the tip of her shoe. "I don't have parents. I live with Granny Jewels."
I touched her cheek and made her look at me. "I'm sorry, Mellie, I didn't know. Would you still like to come for lunch?"
She nodded eagerly, the light returning to her eyes. I grinned and gave her cheek a light pinch.
"Then I'll go ask Granny Jewels if you can come over. If she says it's alright I'll come pick you up and take you home with the other two, okay? Now, go to class before your teacher gets worried."
The little girl gave me a quick hug before skipping towards the school. I laughed and made my way down the path to the main area of the settlement. I sniffed the air to try and find where Mellie lived. I caught her scent everywhere and I had to smile again. She was a very active child, running all over the area.
I followed the direction where the scent was coming from the strongest. Near the outskirts of the clearing where a few of the pack member's houses stood was a large, shabby looking home. The wood of the porch was stained with moss and the windows were dirty. The green paint on the front door and window frames was slowly peeling off, revealing the aging oak underneath.
As I climbed the steps to the front door, they groaned in protest and I winced, fearing they would crack under my weight. I knocked on the door, waiting patiently.
From inside, I heard shuffling around, before the door swung open. An old woman with a hunched back and a bundle of grey hair piled on top of her head answered.
"Are you Granny Jewels?"
She looked at me for a moment, before recognition filled her eyes. "You're Laura, aren't you? Mellie's told me all about you. Would you like to come in?"
She ushered me in without waiting for an answer. She guided me to a sitting room and told me to sit on the couch. It was an old piece of furniture, with a fading floral pattern and small holes in the fabric.
Granny Jewels disappeared for a few minutes, before returning, holding a tray with tea and biscuits. The cups were shaking violently in her ancient hands and I feared she would drop the tray. Rising to my feet, I took the tray and set it on the little coffee table.
"Ah, thank you, dear. I swear, that tray gets heavier by the day," she grunted, sitting herself in the chair opposite of mine. "So, what brings you here?"
I thanked her as she handed me a cup of tea. The tension within my muscles ceased as the warm beverage heated me from within. Easing back into my chair, I took another sip. "I wanted to ask if I could have Mellie around for lunch today."
The old lady smiled warmly. "I could imagine it had something to do with that little girl. She's done nothing but talk about you since you came into the school that day to teach the kids about Bonds. She's very fond of you, you know?"
I blushed a little, something I rarely did. I wasn't used to anyone talking about me positively except Mira and Rina. I had grown accustomed to the insults the other pack members directed at me, so friendly comments were unexpectedly welcoming. "I've noticed a little. She likes to hug a lot."
Jewels snorted and gulped her tea down in one go. "That she does. It's getting hard for me to keep up with all her energy." Suddenly her eyes softened. "Mellie grows easily attached to others. She doesn't have any parents and my age is stopping me from assuming a full parental role. I try my best, but I don't have to energy to play with her and do things with her that parents normally do. I'm guessing she seeks comfort in others, and in this case, you."
"What happened to her parents, if I may ask?"
The softness in her eyes faded and a hardness replaced it. "They didn't want her. She was born much smaller than a normal wolf and those... monsters didn't think she would survive. They left her in the woods to die from either the cold or any predator."
My heart bled for the little girl. "They just...left her?"
"Our Gamma, Roland, found her while he was out on a hunting trip. She was left near a river in only a thin bundle of cloth, barely a month old. We tracked down the pack she came from, but when the parents heard we found her, they said they didn't want her. They said if we didn't want her either, we should just leave her to die. The Moon Goddess would take care of her."
The anger in me grew. How could two fully grown wolves leave such a defenceless baby out in the wilderness to die? How could a pack accept such atrocious behaviour?
Granny Jewels must have seen my expression, because she leaned over and removed the cup from my hands that was in danger of being crushed by my rage. "We felt the same way you did, Laura. We have cut all bonds with that pack and would refuse to give them any help if they were to ever ask. We do not help wolves who abandon their own."
"Does Mellie know why she doesn't have parents?"
She shook her heads. "She doesn't know the full story, but she once asked me why her parents left her. Someone must have told her she was abandoned and if I ever find out who, I will rip their eyes out despite my old age."
"How cruel of someone," I whispered. I couldn't help the emotions surfacing in me. Normally I would withhold any kind of reaction, but my heart ached for Mellie. "You spoke before that it was hard for you to care for her because of you age. If you ever need help, please do not hesitate to ask."
Granny Jewels raised a brow and smiled. "For someone who refuses to become Luna, you sure act like one. Very motherly, I must say."
I should have figured she knew who I was. My rejection of the Alpha and the pack was probably the pack gossip right now. "Being motherly comes from my Guardian Bond. I have no interest in assuming the role of the Luna."
"Yet you care for the people, don't you?"
I shook my head. "I may not wish bad on anyone in this pack, but that does not mean I want to be their Luna. They made it very clear they didn't want me and I refuse to believe their respect for me now. I want to help those who deserve it and need it, not people who will exploit it."
She nodded in agreement. "Although I agree with your point, it isn't a matter of concern if you want to become Luna or not. In the end, you will become Luna whether you want to or not. The Moon Goddess has decided that. It is only a question if the pack will love you for your spirit or for your value. I will not deny the fact that I wish to benefit from you, but I do not want to exploit your powers. I was dying a few weeks ago from a simple fever. My age is weakening my body. The only reason I am still here is because of you. Your power allowed me to live to continue taking care of Mellie and I will forever be thankful for that. I also wish to have you around because you ensure our pups health and keep our warriors strong, but I do not wish to use you to create super children and invincible fighters, while you wither in a corner. I want you as our Luna because you will make us strong, not because you can create a destructive army."
I was taken back by her bluntness. Yes, she wanted me because of my strength, but not for ulterior motives. She just wanted what was best for her pack. I leaned across the coffee table and took her hand. I didn't enjoy touching strangers, but I felt she would welcome my closeness. "It's wolves like you that I wish to lead, but there aren't many that think like you. I will help you in any way you need, but if I swear myself in as Luna, the people who wish to exploit me will be able to do so and I will become nothing."
If I were to go through the coronation ceremony of becoming the Luna, I would be connected to all the members of this pack, meaning they'd all be connected to me as well. Any one of them could draw from my energy to fuel their own strength. A single werewolf couldn't drain me of energy, I had far too much to be weakened by an individual. However, if a handful of them were to exploit me at once, I would be severely weakened, probably barely able to support myself anymore. If more than half of the pack drew my energy from me greedily, I could potentially die.
"Then I suggest you don't swear yourself in until you can trust this pack, darling. As for helping me, I'm afraid I will have to place large responsibility on you," she sighed, brushing her thighs clean of imaginary crinkles. "Like I said before, I'm getting old. You may have saved me from a simple cold a few weeks ago, but there is only so much your powers can do. I can feel my wolf growing quieter. My body is beginning to shut down and I don't think I'll have much longer."
I blinked bewilderedly. "But-but Mellie!"
She nodded with understanding. "Which is why I said I was giving you large responsibility. Mellie has no one else here. The pack will look after her when I'm gone, but she will find little more than slight affection from them. She needs love, she need someone who will care for her like she was her own. You seem more than capable and I would like you to become somewhat of her Godmother. I've seen your Protected and I know Mellie will be in good hands."
"Granny Jewels, I understand that I might come off as some responsible adult who can raise children like an actual mother, but Mira is an exception. I got lucky with her and I don't think it is me raising her that turned her into such an amazing child."
"Are you saying Mellie wouldn't be an amazing child?"
"No" She is lovely and sweet, but-"
"Then you won't have any difficulty, right?"
I looked down at my twisted fingers. I rubbed the pad of my index over my knuckles. "I don't know if I can raise another child. My main dedication is to Mira, the Guardian Bond won't allow for that to change. I don't know if I can give Mellie what she wants."
"You are already giving her what she wants," she whispered. "She just wants people to listen to her, to show her that they care about her. I know you can do that, or you wouldn't be here asking if she can come over to dinner."
The old woman blinked back tears. She sniffled gently and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I just don't want to leave her without knowing someone will be there to take her in. If you don't, I don't know who else will."
The thought of Mellie having no one when Granny Jewels died made me sick to my stomach. It would be monstrous to leave a little eight year old to fend for herself. Sure, the pack would make sure she had a place to live and clothes on her back, but who would show her the parental warmth she craved?
"I will do what I can for her."