The house is quiet, but the air is thick. We all walk around silently and only speak when it's necessary. Bonnie has gotten so sick she can barely move and she's miserable. She won't let me help her, won't let me take her to the doctor. It irritates me because I can barely help my own daughter and now that I have a chance to actually help and make a difference Bonnie refuses. I feel like I haven't held up my position as a father. Now that I want to, I can't. I shouldn't have taken a healthy family for advantage. If it wasn't for me and my problem, I would've been able to give Sarah nice memories of her dad. All she remembers is out absent my attention was towards her.
Her surgery will be coming soon, around the time Bonnie will have the baby. A life may die for another to be born. Another that's not even mine. I don't understand why life has dealt me and my family a bad hand. I'm falling apart and I can't stop it. My family is falling apart and I can't stop it. My child is falling apart, and I can't stop it.