This chapter contains mildly explicit content - just a forewarning :)
Kai
It's been weeks since I've rejected Laura and the burning sensation in my chest still hadn't settled. Every time I caught even a glimpse of her I wanted to bolt over. I just needed to be close to her, just for her to touch me again, even if it meant she would slapped the living daylights out of me.
Antal grunted at my day dreams. We were still distant after I had rejected Laura, and in all honesty, I couldn't blame him. Everyday, I wondered if I had really made the right choice. Was it really that bad that she couldn't shift?
Since my mother had told me of the improvements in my pack, I kept my eyes open and saw she was right. My warriors were tougher and able to endure harsher training. The newest litter of pups were bigger than ever before and none of them were born with any sickness. Hell, there hasn't been a kid with jaundice since Laura's been here.
Laura.
The name made my wolf and I sigh, both in pleasure and guilt. Her name made me feel a warm sensation and thinking about her put me at ease. However, it also made me feel ashamed of myself. How could I find pleasure in a woman I had rejected so blatantly? I didn't deserve to find comfort in the thought of her, yet I was too selfish to do otherwise.
As I looked up I saw the sun setting. I was currently in my fur form, so my wolf raised his head and howled loudly, signalling for everyone hunting to return home. We had been hunting since dawn to gather enough food for the winter. I lifted the deer I had killed by the throat and dragged it behind me as I headed home.
When we got back to the pack ground, women came over and collected the fresh kill, storing it appropriately. Once I was free of my deer, I headed to my room in the pack house and shifted back. Shrugging on a pair of sweat pants and not bothering with a shirt, I headed down to the kitchen.
Sitting at the counter was Roland, drinking a beer. When he saw me, he smirked. "Your Mate's been busy today. I had to spend most of my afternoon standing outside of a classroom like a creep so she wouldn't see me."
My ears immediately perked up. I had asked Roland to keep an eye out on Laura. Even though I wasn't supposed to want her, I couldn't stop myself from staying away. "What did she do?"
"Sheila asked her to come into school today to teach the kids about the Guardian Bond. Somehow things steered in the direction of the Mate Bond, and let me tell you, those kids won't stop talking about it."
"Let me guess, Mates are the root of all evil and they'll just be huge dicks who reject you." Despite my attempt to be humorous, I flinched at my own words.
Roland shot me a sympathetic look. "Quite the opposite actually. She taught them how neither Mate is superior, how they're equals and how we shouldn't solely be reliant on our significant other. We have to also be able to stand on our own so when our Mate needs us, we can provide them the same support that they give us."
My mouth hung open. "She said that?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Of course, there was that one nosy kid who asked why you didn't accept her."
I tensed. I waited for him to tell me how she responded. She probably let out a full rant.
Roland shook his head, as if he could tell what I was thinking. "Nope, not a hint of bitterness. She spoke about the Goddess giving us our Mates and how we sometimes want something different than what she gives us. I must say, she is quite the speaker." He eyed me carefully before adding, "she spoke like a Luna."
"I don't know what I'm doing," I whispered to no one in particular.
Roland didn't reply. He just got up, put a comforting hand on my shoulder and then left to return to his own house nearby.
I let out a huff, before shoving my hand through my hair in frustration. What was I going to do? Right now, I just wanted to see her, even if she didn't want to see me.
As if answering my prayer, Laura appeared in the entrance hall with Connor and Mira. She was helping both kids out of their jackets and running her fingers through their hair in a motherly manner. Mira giggled at her show of adoration and even Connor seemed to be pleased with it, despite always hating people touching his head. I couldn't stop myself from picturing her being so endearing with our own children.
My heart soared at the thought. Of course, there was the barrier of my rejecting her and her probably hating my guts out, but just the thought of her carrying my children made me feel warm. Not to mention the thought of how we would be making them. My cock twitched in desire and began pressing against the zipper. I discretely cupped myself under the counter to rearrange myself.
The moment was ruined when Donatella came walking into the house. She shot Laura a disgusted look, but when her eyes caught sight of me, it morphed into a look of desire. She sniffed the air, her face suddenly clouded with lust. "That keen to see me, huh?"
My eyes widened in realisation. She could smell my arousal and she thought it was for her. My eyes shot to Laura, who looked at me for a second before ushering Connor and Mira upstairs. We had only made eye contact for a second, but it was all it took for me to see the hurt in them.
I wanted to chase after her and explain I was aroused for her, but I doubted she would believe me. After all, I had rejected her, why would she believe I was attracted to her? Donatella sitting herself on my lap also prevented me from getting up.
"If I'd known you wanted to see me so badly, I would have come by earlier," she whispered in my ear as she pushed her pelvic bone against mine.
Usually her advances made me want to bend her over the table and fuck her, but all they did tonight were make me go flaccid again. I tried to let her down easy. "Sorry, Don, but I've got so much paperwork to do. Maybe another time."
"Why don't I help you loosen up before you start? You know how good my mouth can be," she purred, rubbing her hand along me above my sweats. Pulling the knot out of my waist band with a quick tug, she slid her hand in with ease. My body betrayed me and I let out a groan as she grabbed my cock, causing it to spring to life. She massaged it before pulling back and forth in a steady rhythm. I wonder what Laura's hand would feel like.
The thought was like a bucket of cold water. I scrambled out of my seat and pushed Donatella off, causing to fall on her knees. She gave me a bewildered look. "What was that for?"
I pressed a hand to my forehead and let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, I can't."
Her eyes filled with rage. "It's because of her, isn't it? Get over her, she will never be a good Luna! She can't even shift, Kai. She's basically disabled."
My face hardened and I growled at her. "Do not talk about her like that."
"Please, you've been talking about her like this for weeks! You couldn't even say her name, instead calling her "non-shifter". Don't start talking like you care about her now."
"Remember that I am your Alpha and you will speak to me with respect," I snarled at her, causing her to flinch back.
Tears pooled in her eyes, but I didn't drop my cold demeanour. Turning on her heel, she ran out of the house. I heard her faintly sob and groaned. I really had a way with women.
The groan of the stairs as they gave way made my head snap up. A moment later, Laura appeared in her pyjamas. She looked at me shortly before making a beeline to the fridge where she grabbed milk, no doubt for one of the kids. She filled it into a plastic cup and placed it in the microwave, heating it.
"Laura," I whispered her name so quietly I wasn't sure I had even said it until she turned to look at me. "I'm sorry."
She remained unchanged, so I continued. "She means nothing. She's-."
"You don't have to explain yourself. You've made it very clear you do not want or need me, so who you fuck is not my concern. However, I do have a problem if your explicit behaviour affects Mira and Connor. I just had to spend ten minutes explaining to them your arousal was just your excitement when you saw that... that woman and then make up excuses as to why they don't smell it when you're happy to see them. Do what you want, but don't you dare expose them to your sexual habits." Not once did she raise her voice. In fact, she spoke in a monotone, her eyes an empty blue.
The microwave signalled it was finished and she grabbed the warm milk, before making her way back to the stairs.
Before she reached the first step, I blurted, "I want you. I wanted you to touch me, not her."
She froze for a moment and then turned around slowly. Her eyes were now blazing with rage. "Was rejection not humiliation enough? Now you want to further demean me by saying you want me as a quick fuck? You are absolutely disgusting." Her voice cracked at the end and her anger had morphed into sorrow.
She ran up the stairs before I could say anything and I let out defeated sigh. I wanted to kick myself for being such an idiot. I should have known saying that would make me come off as a horny asshole, but as always I only realised after the damage was already done.
Would she ever even want me?