*Tiana's POV*
"JongIn, where are we going?" I asked staring at the building outside the car.
early that morning, he had suddenly woken up, looked at me and suddenly went to wake Jason up with his mom who was supposed to spend the day with his sister. He made us get prepared and here we were, not knowing wherever he was driving us. Jason was quick to fall asleep again but seeing JongIn this determinated was kind of exciting. He was only smiling at the road without answering me. I actually enjoyed this vibe, just the three of us going somewhere to spend time together.
"Can you at least give a hint about our destination?
-We have multiples destinations." He grinned at me quickly before focusing back on the road.
I tried to guess where could be at least our first destination. I thought about Jason's school but it was in the opposite direction , meaning that Jason was staying with us. Then my mind went to his apartment but we quickly change direction proving me wrong. I finally gave up and sat back comfortably in my seat. my wound was almost healed, it was more like a scar then but it was still painful or maybe I just wanted it to physically hurt so it would mentally hurt less. I tried to never show JongIn my pain because he always had that slight panic appearing in his stare whenever he would hear me wince because of the pain.
I had a lot of things in mind at this moment. The fact that JongIn was letting me talk to Kevin if I obeyed him was really bothering me. I really felt like a kid who was granted a candy in exchange of her obedience but telling him and arguing would have been of no help and I had already agree. More than this, Taewon and the possibility of meeting him anywhere was scaring me. Was I really prepared to go out like this after what happened last time? The only way to know was to try but still I was scared.
When I catch a glimpse of gangnam I stared at JongIn hoping he would give any explanation. He put his hand on my knee to reassure me. I kept staring at him and he just focus on the road as I was imagining the worst scenarios possible.
"Please JongIn don't tell me that we are going to your father's.
-No, we are not.
-Neither to your sister's?
-No, we are not going to see any of my relatives.
-Then where? We could cross you father's path, are you crazy?
-So what?" He said it so carelessly that it went to me too. I started to think the same. We could meet his father, so what? He couldn't do worse that what I've been through this past years.
"You're right, but still where are we going?
-Surprise.
-Tell me!
-No need to tell you, we are there." He said smirking
As I was thinking about his father, he had the time to park the car. I quickly unbuckled my belt and jumped out of the car. We were in a little parking next to a lot of shops. I unbuckled Jason's belt and held him in my arms as I looked around to find out where JongIn wanted to take us. As I made a few steps near the street to get a full view of the different shops, JongIn came and took Jason from my arms, glaring at me.
"I already told you not to carry Jason with your shoulder!
-Oh come on! JongIn, the wound has almost healed.
-But it still hurt, right?
-Not really, it's ok." I mumbled.
"Anyway, let's go!" He said, his stern look was gone to let me see his bright smile.
JongIn took my hand and pulled me with him. I looked around to see a lot of shops, luxury or border luxury, great restaurants. I never really liked luxury. I mean, if I see a Gucci or Chanel bag that I like, I'll probably buy it but not because it's luxury, just because I really like it.it made me think of my sister who was completely the contrary of me on this side. The ugliest luxury shit, she would buy it because it's "expensive and fashion". I used to mock her lack of taste but at this moment, for a second I missed it. JongIn quickly awaken me from my depressing thoughts as he stopped and I bumped into his back.
"Why did you stop like that? Warn me next time!
-We are there!" He said, ignoring my complaints
I turned my head to look in the same direction as him. It was a big hair Salon all in white and red, it looked really neat. Two employers were in it running around to take care of the four middle-aged women. I turned toward JongIn who was smiling brightly at me. I turned then again toward the salon and couldn't help but laughed at the name, Glamori, a mixed between Glamour and mori so hair in korean.
"Seriously, Glamori.
-Ok the name is a bit cliché.
-No~ It's so original!" I replied sarcastically.
He rolled his eyes and pulled me into the big Salon. As soon as the door opened and the little bell ringed another little, typical korean employer came out of what was I suppose the backdoor. She came to us smiling brightly, I hesitated between her trying too hard to be professional or being way to happy to see JongIn since she wasn't even glancing in my direction.
"Kim-sshi, nobody informed me that you were coming today.
-Actually I came on the impulse. I hope you still can take care of us.
-us?" and quickly my hesitation from earlier vanished as she eyed me scornfully.
"Ah, you brought your...hum..
-Gir....
-Fiancé!" JongIn looked at me shocked. I was half shocked by myself too but I felt the sudden urge to gently said "Step down bitch!"
"Yeah, my fiancé.
-Oh, has it been a long time in between you two?
-A long time, more than 6, 7 maybe....?" I faked being hesitating.
"Weeks?
-Years." I said coldly. She blinked fast, I felt like I had to put on the finish blow.
"And this our son, Jason." Jason was peacefully still sleeping in his dad's arms. It actually worried me that he was sleeping so much these days.
The little woman looked at Jason and awkwardly smiled and then turned around swaying her hair probably to get back to her senses. She signaled us to follow her with her hand and since JongIn followed her holding back his laugh, I did too. I knew the situation entertained him. He loved to see me Jealous if I wasn't going off on him. I knew I was becoming a bit bitchy whenever I felt another woman liking the view of my man a bit too much but who wouldn't, I wasn't trying to beat the girl up at least.
"Sit here, Kim-sshi." She said warmly gesturing a chair to him and then she simply glared at me gesturing the chair next to him to me.
The more time was passing the bigger was growing my want to be out of this place. I didn't even wanted to go to this kind of hair salon. There were a great chance of them not being able to handle curly natural hair like mine. I glared at JongIn who was still half laughing half ignoring my discomfort. quickly she went to JongIn and started taking care of his hair. I stayed sit trying to focus on anything but her. Suddenly another woman came out by the backdoor, a mixed girl. When she saw me, she smiled brightly, probably happy to meet a natural hair sister. She let her braids sway in her back as she came to me.
"Look like I'm the more qualified to take care of your hair here. Where you from?
-States, here and there, you know!
-Yeah, I'm from London, UK. I'm Baya
-Tiana" We both smiled at each other as we could feel this afro vibe rising just in between us.
"What do you want?
-I don't know, to be honest. I didn't choose the actual state of my hair, I liked my hair natural color and texture.
-You want it back? We'll have to cut your hair.
-No!" We both all turned toward JongIn who just had yelled this.
"I mean, you don't like it short if I remember well, Tiana.
-we can do it progressively, We cut to neck length and when it will have grown a bit in a few month we do it again so all the damaged hair will be gone.
-That's a good plan." I said looking at a relieved JongIn.
Baya smiled at me and started her magic with my hair. I made a few trip to the shampoo sector and then back to the hairstyling station before she finally put out the the cissors. I closed my eyes during the whole process, feeling my hair falling. She put come more products in my hair and then it was it. I couldn't bring myself to actually look.
"JongIn, is it good?
-Remember when you cut my hair?
-Yes?
-Even worst!"I quickly opened my eyes to see that it was a total lie. She had managed to give life back to my hair and all the disgusting blond was gone.
"You liar!"I said throwing a pin I was using to hold my hair up at him.
"You really did some magic. Thank you, I feel so much better like this.
-You're welcome. Don't hesitate to ask for me if you come back."
JongIn got up as that woman was done with him since long ago and put the sleeping Jason down on his chair then he came behind me, next to Baya and our eyes met in the mirror. he smiled and smiled back at him. He leaned and kissed my forehead.
"You're really beautiful. I'm so happy to have my Tiana back." My smiled faded.
JongIn probably realized his words didn't sound too good to me and he sighed before kissing my forehead again. I saw Baya giving me admiring look. JongIn let go of me probably to go pay. I got up and quickly went to Jason who was waking up. When he saw me he tended his arms so I would carry him but I knew I would get scolded so I just gave him my hand so he would jump down the chair. Baya grinned at us as I went to join JongIn at the cashier. He quickly paid and we were out, waving everyone goodbye.
"So, you do all the mystery to drive us to a hair Salon where a woman drools over you.
-'Drools on me'?" He burst out laughing.
I glared at him and decided to stay quiet until he would calm down. He pulled me by the wrist to another direction, I followed quietly, vexed that he enjoyed seeing me jealous. he entered a little cafe who looked like the ones we can see in Europe. It was reminding me of my various business trips with Arison. we went to sit at a table and I helped Jason up on the chair. While we were waiting for the waitress, I decided it was the ideal moment to check on some things about Jason.
"Jason, you know omma hate it when you lie, right?
-Yes..." He opened his eyes wide.
"So why are you sleeping so much during day?
-Tiana, he is just tired that's all. He sleeps a lot because a kid of his age need it.
-JongIn, I know my son. He don't sleep that much." I said sternly, staring at Jason.
"I...I..." Jason lowered his head.
"Tiana you're too severe with him. Don't be like that!" JongIn told me frowning but I ignored him.
"Jason, tell me the truth. Do you sleep at night?" He shook his head.
"Why? What is bothering you?
-I...I don't want you to disappear again." I looked at JongIn who seemed as worried and hurt as me.
"I'm not going to disappear again. I promised you.
-You promised me you wouldn't be gone for long last time and you promised me you would be fine with Kevin back then too!"
He started crying. I immediately took him in my arms, letting him sob against my chest. I felt my eyes watering but I tried hard to keep it in. I stared at JongIn, feeling guilty and helpless at the moment. I had no way of reassuring my son that we were going to be fine and I couldn't even convince myself. I couldn't sleep at night and because of me my son couldn't either. I pat his head and kissed it several times.
"What if when I wake up the morning you're not there anymore?
-I'm so sorry. Omma is sorry." I couldn't find anything else to say.
It took us some time to calm down. When Jason finally was smiling again we decided that he would sleep with us as soon as we would be back at home and not in this hotel anymore. The waitress who was probably waiting for us to be ready came to give us the menu. I quickly put it down and saw JongIn glancing at me then at the menu and at me again. Jason looked excited seeing all the photo of cakes, his previous sadness was completely gone. The waitress quickly came back asking about our order and with a toy for Jason. As expected Jason ordered a lot of sweet stuffs that he wouldn't be able to eat all alone and JongIn ordered us both a coffee and pancakes. Jason was playing with the little giraffe plush the woman had brought and JongIn and I just chat about how was his work doing and useless things until food came to table. I took my coffee in hand and started drinking. It was pretty hot but it felt so awakening. As I put my cup down I met with a big piece of pancake dipped in maple syrup. I lifted my eyes to meet JongIn's ones not leaving mine. I put my eyes back on the pancake and the more I was watching it the less I wanted to put it in my mouth.
"It's yours JongIn. Don't worry about me, eat your." I tried.
"Tiana, you promised. 'Anything that I give you', remember?" He answered coldly, glaring at me.
I couldn't refuse so I opened my mouth. He shoved the piece and even if the taste reminded me of my good childhood, I knew that this wouldn't last long before I would throw up. JongIn smiled as I chewed on the piece of pancakes and as soon as it went down my throat another one was waiting for me in front of my mouth. I bit on it just like the first one, chewing on it carefully not to choke on it and trying to convinced myself that it would smoothly go down my stomach and that I'd be fine. Just like that JongIn managed to make me eat two whole pancakes but he stopped when he saw I was sweating. His satisfied smile was gone and replaced by a worried look.
"Are you ok? Was it too much?" I glared at him as I was chewing on the last bit.
"Omma, are you ok?"Jason had the same look as his father. I smiled the best I could to reassure him as I swallow what was left of the pancake.
"Yes, Omma is ok. It's just a little hot in here." I said ventilating myself with my hand. Jason was easy to fool so he smiled reassured but JongIn kept on frowning.
As I had said sooner, Jason hadn't finished his food so JongIn did it. After this little breakfast, JongIn dragged us again to another shop. This time it was a little clothes shop, I wasn't really feeling good in this atmosphere because people were looking at us for whatever reason and JongIn seemed to not be aware of it. As soon as we entered, JongIn picked up a lot of clothes and when he was done he pushed me to a fitting room telling me to try everything, so I did. Every clothes he had picked was my style, he knew me well but I felt that these clothes didn't fit me like before. I was so thin and at the same time I felt like my muscles had completely melt, even after I had had Jason my body wasn't that messed up. To add to this mess of a body, my scars were showing in a lot of the clothes and the more I was trying to tell myself that it was ok, that they weren't that ugly, that they weren't that visible the more it was the only thing I was seeing in the mirror.
"Tiana, are you not going to show me any of these clothes? did I get the wrong size?" JongIn's voice outside wasn't helping.
"No, the size is not the problem!"
-Then what is it?
-Nevermind! I'm putting my dress back on and we can leave this place.
-What are you saying?"
As I was unzipping the dress I just had put on JongIn opened the curtain and pulled me out of the room. I quickly zipped the dress and give a puzzled look to JongIn. His frown from earlier hadn't faded and his grip on my arms was tight.
"JongIn, let me get change!
-Why? This dress is beautiful on you.
-I don't like it. I can decide of what I like, can't I?" I said as I looked around. People were staring at us, whispering and I instinctively put my hand on the scar on my shoulder. JongIn looked at my hand.
"It's because we can see you scar, right? I know you love this dress...
-No, I hate it! I really hate it so let me put it off!
-Tiana, we can barely see your scar." We both looked at each other for a few seconds before hearing old ladies whisper.
"Oh my! Look at her. How can a woman body be like this?
-What do you think happened to her?
-She probably was involved in some criminal case. This kind of woman are troublemakers. Worthless!" The words hit me bad. I forcefully took my hand back from JongIn and ran back to the fitting room then put my long oversized dress back on.
as I ran out of the shop, I didn't even look at JongIn. I simply exited it and ran toward the car with my head down. I just wanted to go home at this moment, nothing else mattered. I wanted to shut myself somewhere where nobody could see me. JongIn quickly followed me with Jason in his arms and tried to stop me by taking my wrist but I rejected him and kept on running toward the car. once I reached the car I tried opening it but obviously JongIn had locked the doors and there I was trapped in between him and the car door. I was completely out of breath, my mind was screaming to go home and my heart was beating so fast that I could hear it beat in my ears.
"Tiana, calm down.
-No! I want to go home!
-We just went out, it's still pretty early.
-I don't care! Open this damn car, JongIn!
-No, Tiana! Calm down and let's talk!
-Kai!"
I felt him take a step back, no longer trapping me and the noise of the door unlocking. So I quickly hopped in the car. He put Jason in the back of the car and sat at the driver seat. I kept on staring at my hands resting on my thighs, waiting for him to start the engine and to drive us back to the hotel.
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I hoped you enjoyed this chapter.
So~ I actually tried to count the vote about the future of this story and for now....We have an equality between the two options, so I still need to wait more time to really know in what direction I should lead this story but It's ok and I'm really happy that all of you cared enough to answer.
I posted the prologue of my fanfiction with Jay Park. I suddenly felt inspired as I was starting to write the chapter 75, so I decided to finally start this fanfiction that had been in my pocket, hidden for months now. I don't know when the first chapter will be update, I still search for the best way to start this story but I hope you'll enjoy it as much as 'I Needed to, I Had to'.
Kisses on your two Buns!