Chapter 9:
As soon as the door shut behind Kyrie the monster was on me, touching me, hugging me.
I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t fight him off like my whole body wanted too. I was too afraid. I was too numbed by the realization that there was nothing I could do to get away from him in the small cramped room. I closed my eyes and the image of him looking at me, blood running from his fangs filled my mind, making me hold in a whimper. Sick bastard.
“I thought I lost you.” he murmured against my cheek as he knelt beside me. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you, I love you so much.”
Then he pressed his lips to mine.
OH HELL NO!
I jerked away from him, breaking the contact before I could even register what I was doing, knowing that a look of the upmost disgust and horror would be on my face.
“Don’t!” I halfway yelled at him. My hand already lifting toward my face to wipe my mouth but I hesitated just long enough to hear a low growl.
Ah, shit.
I looked at him just to see his eyes darken.
Double shit.
“Are you in pain? Are you ok?” He asked, looking over me his eyes still dark. Damn it all to hell. Just make something up Juniper! If there was any time to pull some bullshitery out of my ass it was now.
“Flesh wounds…you hugging.” I managed to spit out.
This monster had to be at least half stupid because he actually believed what I said, his eye widening as he let go of me with an apologetic expression.
“Sorry, I guess there will be lots of time for that when you are all healed up.” He smiled, showing his pointy teeth to me and making me want to cower away from him on the cot.
Gross. Gross. Gross.
I didn’t want to kiss him! Was he insane? What am I thinking, of course he is freaking insane! What other explanation is there for someone who thinks it is perfectly normal to try to kiss someone who you just tried to kill! I needed him to go away.
Why wasn’t he going away? He usually went away.
“Why aren’t you at work?” I found myself half asking, half barking. I didn’t even know what his job actually was but I wanted him to get the hell to it. The further from me the better. I was too tired of feeling frightened of him, too tired of trembling like a damn coward.
His eyes softened as he looked at me and I flinched when he reached toward my cheek but he touched it anyway unperturbed by my fear.
“You’re hurt. I can’t leave my mate while she is hurt.” He told me, pushing my hair back behind my ear. I clenched my teeth. Couldn’t leave while I was hurt? He had done it before. I wanted him to do it again.
“I’m fine.” I grounded out. “You should go to work.”
He shook his head, black eyes still looking at me all soft and loving and shit.
“Don’t worry about work they’ll understand. You will always be my first priority, always.” He told me still looking at me with that dumbstruck expression.
I wanted to be sick.
I would have been if I had actually eaten anything in the last three days.
“But I’m fine.” I argued, fighting back bile out of fear.
“What kind of mate would I be if I left you here alone after you almost died?” he asked concern in his voice but also something a little darker. Something that alerted me that the monster was not far beneath the surface.
“One that doesn’t shrug off his responsibilities.” I suddenly quipped, only half thinking. He stared at me. Take the bait damn it.
“Never knew a gunslinger would have such deep rooted ethics.” He commented in a tone that made me think of his admiring expression when I had actually pulled a gun on him. I had never had alcohol but I was starting to understand why people paid money to become intoxicated off their rocker. “But I’ll go if it makes you happy.” He said, standing up.
He ran his hand over my head and then bent down to kiss the top of it.
“I’ll be back tonight though darling.” He promised, in his monster voice. I was frozen in fear as he walked to the door and knocked to be let out. “Oh and I’ll tell Cheyenne you said hello.” He smiled back at me just as he slipped out the door.
Cheyenne?
The fact that he somehow worked at her school finally caught up with me and I felt even more panic. He was NOT touching my baby sister come hell or high water. NO! I was out of bed before I could even think straight and almost faster than I could stand up I fell back down to the ground.
I tried to get up again but my legs wouldn’t support me and my head was spinning.
“Son of a bitch.” I mumbled as I tried to calm the painful beating of my heart. I had no energy. No strength. I looked down at my useless legs, my fist clenching. I couldn’t take much more of this. I was too weak to do anything. He could hurt my sister.
I wouldn’t be able to stop him.
What good was I? If I couldn’t even stand up, what good was I? I won’t be able to save her just like I wasn’t able to save my father. I didn’t cry.
I didn’t have the energy to do that.
I just sat defeated on the ground feeling broken and empty.
I didn’t hear him come in and when his voice called my name I barely noticed him. Kyrie had come back and he was now kneeling in front of me.
“Juni, I brought you some food.” He told me, taking my hands in his and prying my fingers from the fabric of my pants. “Juniper you need to eat.”
“Why should I? I’m useless anyway.” I found my voice saying in a tone that was hollow. Kyrie sighed and then took my face in his hands and forced me to look at him.
It had been a long time since I had been touched this way by another human. Actually, thinking back, I don’t think that I had been touched by anything other than that monster in a long time.
“They will not let you starve to death.” He said simply. No explanations, no qualifications. He leaned in a little closer, looking me in the eyes steadily like he was trying to tell me more than he was saying. “You need to be strong.”
I needed to be strong?
What was the point? They were winning. I was trapped. It didn’t matter how strong I was.
“I know that you feel trapped by self-pity but you need to be strong if you want to break free of this burden.”
And then it clicked.
If you want to get out of here, you need to be strong, you need to eat.
I ate the soup that Kyrie had brought be obediently after that and he helped me get back into bed and brought me a glass of water from the sink. I drank greedily.
I was so thirsty.
I hadn’t realized how thirsty I had been.
“What did you see before you woke up?” He suddenly asked when he came back with my second glass full of water. I stared at him a bit warry.
“I thought you might want to talk about it.” He admitted. “If you want to that is.”
I leaned back into the pillows, and looked down into the glass.
“It was a memory. Of when my dad died.” I told him. He put a hand on my knee.
“He was killed wasn’t he?” he asked, his eyes knowing. I nodded.
“Four years ago. When my family still lived in the middle sector. I found him.”
He didn’t say anything in response. He just sat with me, sharing my space.
“Your bandage is starting to bleed through.” He told me after several minutes. “Let me change it for you.”
I let him change it.
“It looks like it’s healing up pretty well. Just some seepage from where the wound isn’t all the way sealed.” He commented as he pulled off the soiled padding.
“How long was I out?” I asked. He shrugged.
“A couple of hours. Sean’s blood sped up the healing process a little but it is dangerous for a human to have too much “were” blood in their system so Ile gave you just enough to heal your veins and arteries.”
“Thus why I had the human blood transfusion.” I responded. He nodded.
“It will heal soon and then it will just be a scar.” He replied. I thought about what my shoulders would look like with the gruesome scars marring my flesh and I shuttered.
“Why the hell do they bite for anyway?” I grumbled. He sighed softly and shook his head.
“The scar that forms from the bite acts sort of like the werewolf version of a wedding ring. It signifies that you are taken as a potential mate. If we were werewolves we would mark our mates in the same fashion but since we are human it typically isn’t done.” He explained, running a warm damp cloth over my bare shoulder to clean it a little before he bandaged it again. “They can use the scar to identify who your mate is through a nationwide denture database now, so if you were lost or hurt and they found you, your mate could be notified where you are.” He continued, pausing slightly in his washing pointedly and clearing his throat.
They will be able to notify him if you get caught trying to escape unless you make it out of the country. That is what he meant.
“Also by tasting your blood your scent become permanently transfixed in their brain so they will be able to find you if you get lost better than any other werewolf through tracking.” He continued.
He will be able to follow your trail if you run.
“Do werewolves ever change mates. Divorce or anything?” I asked slowly really trying to ask him if there was any way I could get out of this.
“There have been cases where a human mate has been injured in a fire or something where the claiming mark is covered my another scar or blemished beyond recognition but the werewolf still knows their mate’s scent and will feel the connection so all that they have to do is bite their mate again to make the mark visible once more. The only way a connection will diminish is if a mate dies. Each werewolf only gets one true mate in a lifetime.” He answered.
Translation: The only way to get out of this is if one of you dies.
I swallowed hard, gritting my teeth. He put the cloth back in the bucket and then gently took my hand into his, looking me in the eye.
“I know how hard it is to adjust to things here but in order to really begin to fit in you need to make an effort at connecting with your mate. Only when you get your mate through the manic phase will you be able to begin to feel comfortable. You’ll be able to get out of this cell and make some new friends that are also human mates; you might find you have a lot in common with them.” His eyes were narrowed, pleading with me to understand.
And I did.
You have to play nice to get out of here and get your mate to trust you. You are not the only human mate waiting to make an escape.
I nodded.
“How long does the manic stage last?” I asked, feeling a new strategy forming in my head. The faster that the monster got out of this manic stage the sooner I could start planning my escape. Kyrie’s face fell slightly and he gave me a defeated and sympathetic expression that made my determination wane like a candle that had been snuffed out slow.
“He needs to come out of the manic stage. If he doesn’t he will end up killing you next time he has an episode. Ile didn’t lie to you when she said that werewolves that kill their mates go crazy. He will turn feral and kill anything or anyone that carries your scent. Anyone who has been or has gotten too close to you.” he admitted, his eyes shone with honesty and I believed what he was telling me even if I didn’t want too. He would hurt those who were innocent. Anyone who was close to me. I had seen what that monster could do. And I had no doubt that he would do it.
“My sister?” I asked. He looked at the door quietly and then nodded. My heart sank lower.
“The people she is staying with too.” he added, his eyes soft and remorseful. Tears filled my eyes.
“You?” I asked, knowing the answer.
He closed his eyes.
“Most likely.”
I heaved in a deep breath, feeling the weight of what the consequences of the monster staying in this manic phase were. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let him hurt anyone else. I wasn’t going to let him hurt my sister. I wasn’t going to let him hurt my friends.
Not now.
Not ever.
“How do you break the manic phase? That werewolf woman said I needed to figure out what his wanted.” I asked, my eyes and voice searching. Kyrie hung his head.
“She may think that each manic phase is different but in the end they all want the same thing.” He sighed. He sounded defeated, like it was killing him to tell me this.
“What do they want?” I asked, feeling like cotton was filling my throat in asking, like what he was going to say was going to change my whole life forever.
“They want to mate.” He replied.
I could feel the blood drain from my face.
“Mate?” I echoed, wishing a praying that somehow that word meant anything other than what I thought he meant by it.
Walking on hot coals? Shaking hands? Eating fifty pounds of Brussels sprouts? Kissing twenty people’s feet?
“Sex. You have to have sex with him.” He whispered so low that I could barely even hear him.
I sat in my cell staring at the wall in a complete state of panic and shock. When Kyrie had first told me, I about had a panic attack. If I wanted to get out of this cell and get the monster to quit trying to rip me to shreds every time he sees me then I would have to mate with him. Just the thought of it made me feel sick to my stomach. Allow myself to be “mated” by that, that monster. No. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, I would rather die!
But if I died…
He would hurt them. He would hurt my sister, my friends. No matter how big of a pain in the ass Cheyenne was, I loved her. She was my little sister, my baby sister. The only blood family I had left. He couldn’t hurt her. I couldn’t let him.
I couldn’t let him hurt them. And…would I really rather die?
The memory of my life fading away from me so fast, and the way the darkness wrapped around me made my body shake in fear. Was it better to refuse and die or do….that…with the monster and have the possibility of living? Live or die? Die or live? Die and let others die. Live and let others live. And the answer came down to which one did I fear more. The monster or making my family and I lose our lives? I curled up in a ball, hugging my knees.
“I don’t want anyone to die.” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “I can’t let them die.”
By the time that the monster came back to visit me I had already become numb to what I was about to do. I had gotten up, changed my clothes, eaten the food that a guard had brought in and left by the door and actually even started to clean the floor of the cell using my dirty clothes as rags to mop up the dried blood that was spattered across the floors and walls. Doing things kept my mind off of it. And if I thought about this anymore I was going to lose my mind.
He came in when I was still mopping the floor with my blood stained shirt.
“What are you doing?” he asked and I had to hold back the flinch that his voice made me want to have. I looked up at him, forcing myself to look into his eyes with a pleasant expression. I think all that I got out was bland…it was better than nothing anyway. He was looking at me with a curious expression in his black eyes, his broad shoulders still lingering in the doorway.
“I spilled something.” I told him, lying just in case he forgot what had happened the last time that he had come to see me…again. His face relaxed slightly and he walked up to beside where I was kneeling and crouched beside me, making my hair stand on end in fear.
“How was your day?” he asked me a slight smile on his lips.
“Boring.” I told him, sure as hell not going to use the word fine. He chuckled softly and reached forward to touch my cheek.
“I’ve missed you. I think about you all day and I haven’t slept for days because I’ve wanted my little vixen with me.” he murmured, a soft wistful smile forming at the end. I gulped, his worlds making Kyrie’s words play in my head once more. He will kill me. He will kill them.
“When will I come with you?” I forced myself to whisper. His eyes latched onto mine and I saw something flash behind them than made me feel funny, which made me feel disgusted and I had to work to keep the emotion off my face.
“The council still needs to talk to you but they are going to give you temporary house arrest. They want me to be able to stay with you for a couple of days before they let me take you to our apartment. I thought you could stay here until the weekend.” He told me.
“What day is it today?” I asked, suddenly feeling stunned that I didn’t even know how long I had been here.
“It’s Thursday evening.”
I looked back down at the wet stained shirt in my hands, twisting it.
“Mate?” he asked but I ignored him.
I needed to see it.
I needed to see the monster one more time before I did this.
I didn’t even know why I needed to.
He reached toward me and I got up, marching to the sink and running the shirt under the tap.
“Mate what’s wrong?” he asked still sitting on the floor.
I could almost feel it.
I could feel that the beast was ready to rear its ugly head. Suddenly he was right behind me, snagging my waist and pulling me backwards into his chest while he whispered in my ear.
“You’re not ignoring me again are you little mate?” the monster snarled into my ear, hot and heavy. I wanted to pull away but I forced myself not to.
When I heard the monster’s voice it all seemed final.
He would kill me. He would kill Chey, Nash and Kyrie.
I gritted my teeth and let one of my hands softly touch his which were locked around my waist. I didn’t have a clue of how to be seductive but I didn’t think I would have to try that hard.
I don’t think I could stomach that.
I trusted the monster to over exaggerate just the littlest bit of non-threatening behavior as affection.
“What do you want mate?” he asked, breathing along my neck line. I wrapped my fingers around his and gently tugged on them until he loosened his grip enough for me to turn around so I was facing him, coming up a little higher than his shoulder, the top of my head just under his nose. I hadn’t even done anything like this with a man I liked so I was at a loss of what exactly I should so besides copy what I had seen in movies years ago.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips under his jaw feeling revolted and frightened.
His frame relaxed and the arms around my waist pulled me harder to him until I could barely breathe. Maybe if I imagined something else I would be able to do this. So instead of thinking of it as moving to plant my lips against the skin of his neck once again I was actually calculating the surface area of his skin. And when his hands fisted in the fabric of my shirt I thought about the force his hands could apply. Instead of putting my arms around his neck, I was connecting two systems so that they would travel at the same velocity if in a collision. He growled lightly and suddenly one of his paws was on my face lifting it up and bringing my lips to his.
I couldn’t think of anything for this.
Except keeping bile down in my throat.
His lips covered mine possessively and I had to fight the urge to gag. His hands went back to my waist and then suddenly dropped, squeezing my butt. I gasped and he put his tongue down my throat.
It was sickening. Every part of my being was willing me just to bite his damn tongue off. But I couldn’t. He would kill me. He would kill them.
I wanted this over already. Just as I thought this, his hands dropped further and he lifted me up so that I was straddling his vertical form and I was forced to wrap my legs around his waist so I wouldn’t fall. He moved toward the cot. He lay down on top of me. Now kissing my sore neck. He leaned back just a fraction of an inch to smile at me, his black eyes burning with the monster behind them.
I was going to protect them. This was the only way.
I would dance with the devil.
But someday he will have hell to pay.