I felt really kind of gross the next morning. I felt completely sweaty and my nose crinkled when I inhaled deeply. But, last night was amazing. It was nothing like I had ever experienced before. I honestly loved it. It was all so different and I realized that I really wanted Harry. He was just so passionate and loving and kissed me throughout the night last night. I looked to my left and saw Harry sprawled out in my bed. I smiled and moved closer to him and cuddled into his chest. I nuzzled my head into his warmness.
“You are amazing,” he whispered before kissing my lips.
“How amazing?” I smiled up at him, just loving the feel of our skin touching. Not in a perverted way, but in a loving way. It felt so right.
“Very, very amazing Maya,” he kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back.
“We should practice more often,” I smiled up at him and he chuckled in the back of his throat.
He pulled me into him and kissed me softly a couple times. “Don’t get too carried away young lady…”
“I’m actually older than you,” I replied smiling. I kissed his collarbone a little bit before I moved up to his jawbone.
“Mmm…”
I closed my eyes again and I could tell Harry had fallen back asleep. I crawled out of bed and pulled on my pajama pants before buttoning up Harry’s shirt that was at the end of my bed without bothering to put my bra back on. I went into the bathroom to clean up. I washed my face and brushed my teeth after flushing the toilet and slipped back into my bed. My thumb stroked his pink cheeks and I smiled. This view of Harry made him seem like a normal guy and not a worldwide known pop star. Just softly snoring in his sleep... I laid on my back and put my hand on my stomach, trying to sort through my jumbled thoughts.
Thinking back to last night, I realized that it was totally different than I expected it to be. First of all, I didn’t necessarily expect him to be so careful with me. I remember crying a little bit in the beginning from the pain I felt. Harry kissed me and told me it would go away after a little bit. I trusted him. I really did. He was just so cautious with everything because he didn’t want to hurt me. At one point he even offered to stop because I had tears streaming down my face. I didn’t want him to though. Despite the pain I felt, I didn’t want him to stop, because it meant so much more for me. I wanted my first time to be special, and it was. It was with a man who I think I truly loved and I couldn’t have asked for anything better.
I swallowed and took another deep breath, but it felt a little shaky. I played with the buttons on Harry’s shirt that I was wearing. It was much too large for me, but I really didn’t care so much. It made me smile more than anything.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Harry asked when he woke up a little while later. His legs entwined themselves into mine and I got another strange sensation in my abdomen. My smooth legs grazed over his hair covered calf as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Mmm… I would ask for another round but I’m already changed…” I whispered, looking into his eyes, seeing his pupils dilate a little bit.
His eyes widened in delight. “Really?”
I looked at him and giggled. “I’m kidding…”
“Oh…” he sounded a bit disappointed and I pecked his lips quickly.
“But… that was one of the best nights I’ve ever had…” I told him softly to lift his spirits.
“Mmm… was it?” Harry smiled proudly.
I nodded. “Mmhmm…”
“God I love you so much Maya.”
I gave him tiny kisses under his ear. “You want to prove it to me?” I teased while moving down to his collarbone and then back up to his chin.
“I would but you’d kill me afterwards.” Harry mumbled.
I kissed the edge of his mouth. I moved back to his cheek, teasing him some more. He moaned quietly, obviously trying to hold it back.
“You’re so mean but so sexy at the same time…” he whispered. I felt his hand stroking my thigh. I didn’t shy away this time.
I giggled while kissing him around his perfect face. “Really?” my foot rubbed against his and I moved myself even closer to him. “You think I’m sexy?” He screwed his eyes shut and I grinned, loving how I could have this effect on him.
“My god, Maya…” he said squeezing my thigh ever so gently.
“You’re good at that…” I whispered as he squeezed it again.
“Mmm…” he hummed. His hands moved to my front where he started to unbutton his shirt I had on. I shrugged out of it and pressed my hips against his, teasing him beyond belief. His breathing hitched a little bit.
“Maya,” he moaned and I started kissing his neck again.
“Yes?” I whispered next to his ear. My hand ran up and down his chest. “Is something wrong, babe?”
“Mmm…” he mumbled. I decided to let him be. I pulled away and inched to my end of the bed.
“I’ll let you get changed,” I said crawling out of bed. I pulled on my blue cami. I stopped at the door and turned to face him. He sat upright in my bed with his eyes closed with his thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of his nose. I smiled at him and spun around on my heels. I went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.
A couple minutes later, I could hear movement in my bedroom and the door squeaked open. Harry walked into the kitchen naked.
“Harry!” I exclaimed when I spun around and saw him. I turned back to face the counter, keeping him behind me. I was only really comfortable seeing him naked when we were in bed. And considering that last night was the first time I’d seen him fully exposed, I was definitely not comfortable with him practically streaking in my apartment.
“What?” he laughed, obviously amused by my reaction. I wondered if any of the girls he’d been with in the past were completely open to his nakedness.
“Some clothes, please!”
“But…” he started to protest as if he was surprised by my reaction.
“Now! Please, go cover up…”
“Ugh, fine…” he said and he walked out of the kitchen. Two minutes later he came back with pajama pants on and a white t-shirt.
“Better?” he asked when he reentered the kitchen.
I turned around and stepped up to him, “Much.” I gave him a small peck on his lips to let him go crazy. He sighed lightly.
“Am I too much for you?” I teased as I put coffee in the coffee maker.
“Oh god Maya,” he breathed. He came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, “Way too much…” he whispered in my ear. He lightly kissed the nape of my neck and I smiled.
“Mmm…” I sighed and he spun me around to face him.
“How long until we get to have fun again?” Harry asked, staring deep into my eyes. I tilted my head at him and his nose nudged mine to the side.
“When I say so…” I smiled, my lips inches from his.
“How about when I say so?” he smiled back at me and lightly kissed me.
“No, Harry, because technically we’re not even together and we also live in an apartment building with other people on this floor,” I said, pulling back but staying in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and nodded at him.
“But…” he started to protest.
“When I say so Harry.”
“Fine…” he leaned down and kissed me again. “I guess you don’t want the entire floor hearing you scream my name again…”
I pulled back and raised my eyebrows at him. “Excuse me Mr. Styles, but I think I would remember if I screamed your name…” Harry laughed a little bit and pressed his soft lips against mine again.
I loved it when we teased each other. It made me think of how we were still friends. I wasn’t sure if I wanted this to be more though. I thought it would make our whole relationship awkward. I didn’t know what label I would put on us right now. We definitely were not just friends. We kinda had sex not too long ago. But, we weren’t a couple either.
Friends with benefits. That’s what we were. It sounded weird to me though. With benefits? Sure, we had benefits but I wouldn’t want to go up to Alyssa and say, ‘Oh yeah, Harry and I are friends with benefits.’ I couldn’t wrap my mind around that. I knew that’s what we were though. Nothing more, nothing less.
“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked after we pulled away.
“Hm?” I snapped back to reality and looked up into his frosty green eyes. “Nothing…” I replied when he looked at me expectedly. I tried pulling away from his grip, but he wouldn’t let me.
“Yes you are, what’s going on in your pretty little mind?” He kept his hands on my waist. I leaned back against the counter this time and he looked at me.
“What label would you put on us?” I blurted out.
“Oh god, I hate labels…” He sighed and looked to his left.
“I mean we’re not together but we, you know…”
“Had sex?” Harry smiled a little bit.
“Yeah…”
“Right… Well…” He clicked his tongue and unknowingly rubbed circles on my hipbones. He looked at me after a couple seconds. “Really, really, really close friends.”
“So… friends with benefits?”
I saw a smirk spread across Harry’s face. “That’s another way you can put it…”
I nodded. “What are you going to say if you get asked on an interview?”
“That depends what you want me to say in an interview,” Harry countered. He used one finger to pull some hair behind my ear.
“I mean… I have a feeling I won’t necessarily be liked by your fans if I come out as your girlfriend…” I shrugged a little bit.
“We could try,” Harry whispered and I let out a breath. I sealed my lips shut and looked up at him again.
“I…” I started to say, but stopped myself. “Let me think about it.” I checked the time on the clock. “I have to take a shower before work.” I gave Harry one more kiss before I pulled away from him and stepped around him. I ran my hand through my hair, pulling it out of my face. “It might be a smart idea for you to do the same…”
Harry laughed a little bit and followed me out of my kitchen. .
“I’ll wait its fine,” Harry shrugged and walked over to my tiny living room, making himself comfortable on my couch. I stopped at my bedroom door.
“Oh, okay,” I exhaled, not knowing exactly what to say. He casually picked up the remote and turned on the TV as if it was any other normal morning.
I spoke up again, “And if the coffee finishes, you can have some.”
“Okay Maya,” Harry held out the first word and turned to look at me, smiling widely. “I’ll be fine.”
“And if-” I started again.
Harry cut me off. “And if I need you, I’ll join you in the shower. Don’t worry.” He chuckled a little bit and I playfully rolled my eyes. He turned back to the TV and I spun around on the heels of my feet. I stepped into my bathroom and turned the shower on. In fifteen minutes I was out and ready. I blow dried my hair and changed into my work clothes. I sprayed a little perfume and ran a brush through my hair.
I walked into the kitchen to find the coffee done. I made myself a cup and sat down at my tiny kitchen table. I skimmed through the newspaper that Harry must’ve gotten from outside while I was getting ready.
After a couple minutes of reading, I heard my front door open and Harry appeared in the kitchen doorway.
“Hey,” I smiled at him. He wore a pair of dark, almost black, jeans and a dark red shirt with a couple buttons at the top. How was he so effortlessly handsome?
He kissed my forehead as I stayed sitting at my table. “You smell nice…” he commented, plopping down across from me.
“That’s what happens when you take showers, babe…” I teased, holding my hand out for him to take.
Harry smiled at me. “Yeah.” He was doing that thing with his eyes again, where he just stared at me, smiling. Like on the first day we met.
“I love you…” I whispered without even realizing it. I looked down at the paper, feeling his thumb running over my knuckles.
“I love you more,” he replied, leaning forward slightly. “Trust me.”
I nodded. “I do.”
We were quiet again. I couldn’t even deny it anymore. I wanted to be with Harry. But, I was afraid of the publicity and what would end up happening to us. I mean, he was Harry Styles. Whenever he was dating someone, the paparazzi found out the minute he even said he had feelings for someone. I was now in that position. The paparazzi could catch the two of us at any moment and have it on the front page of every single magazine the next day.
“I should get going…” I said when I looked over at the clock on the wall. I sighed and stood up.
“Me too,” Harry agreed. He felt his pockets for all his essentials as I grabbed my bag and Harry’s right hand. We both knew we were thinking of the night we just shared with each other. It seemed like such a big secret, just since the public didn’t really know about the two of us together.
We stepped into the elevator next to each other and pressed the button that would bring us to the lobby. I looked up at Harry and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his lips down to mine for a quick kiss.
“Thank you,” I whispered, blushing a little bit by the big grin that spread across Harry’s face. I pulled back and averted my gaze from his eyes. I didn’t know what else to say other than that. Harry chuckled lightly in the back of his throat. He didn’t say anything, but he really didn’t need to. The door dinged open and the two of us stepped out into the lobby and before we stepped outside, Harry squeezed my hand goodbye.
“Bye love,” he whispered before we pushed open the door to the New York City street. Paparazzi crowded around our building and I quickly made a right to separate myself from them and my almost boyfriend.
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