The light danced across her skin so perfectly, like the waltz across the dance floor- elegant, beautiful, and sexy. It defined her scars that told stories, markings that would make anyone cry, and tattoos that was just more than a piece of art- it was her life. The woman stood in the middle of the class like a Greek statue; telling a story without moving or talking. Her long curly black hair sprouted out like branches, breast were perky and exposed, brown eyes full of compassion, and light brown skin was radiant as if she was kissed by the sun.
She was me....
A goddess- Athena; a warrior full of inspiration, courage, wisdom, strength and skill. A queen... a strong woman... a black woman...
My lips tugged into a small smile as I praised myself in the mirror like every morning to start off my day. You may think I'm conceited, but I'm not- just a little insecure. I did this to boost myself up, to not doubt myself. It's a common method that my mother told me to do, and let me say- it's working.
I lifted the dress of my sundress into my shoulders before turning away from my mirror to look at the room that many would call a disaster. I have a small studio apartment with only a queen size bed, small kitchen and arm chair and my art supplies that takes up half of the space. I barley have room for a television and couch, being that I use my computer for mostly everything, spend my time doing some art work, and use my bed as a dining room table and desk- there's no need for those two things.
I stepped over a few shoes laying around I do not care for to pick up, before grabbing my bag filled with my sketchbook, pencils, wallet and charger; with my phone in my other hand- I walked out my studio apartment on towards the streets of New York City.
I went to Spleman university for fours years, and let me tell you those fours years was a blast. However Atlanta did not quite have what I wanted, such as art classes or others who is as inspired by art as much as I am. I found my passion during my freshman year in Spleman, I haven't realized I was really good at it until I needed something calm my nerves- to keep my brain going. So I picked up a pencil and started to draw.
As soon as I walked out the door I was ambushed by the only person around or probably the whole city that would jump on you when you walk out your front door. I screamed out in shock and stepped back to see my best friend; Irvine Skåsgard.
"Dammit Irvine!" I huffed out.
She chuckled, showing her pearly whites while putting her fiery red hair in a tight ponytail. "I don't know why you're so surprised, I do this every morning." Her green eyes shined like the sun when her lips turned into a smile.
I slowly rolled my eyes, "That doesn't mean I like it. Almost gave me a heart attack." Being that we were basically next door neighbors, she unfortunately know when I get up to leave so she can give me a fright.
"Sorry," She said a half ass apology before nudging me. "So where are you going?"
"Where I always go, to the studio then off to work." I stated while fixing the snag strap on my shoulder.
Irvine scoffed while shaking her head, "Why don't you do something else today? You always do the same thing, take the same route, leave at the same time. Why not change up?"
I gave her a questionable look when I went down the same route she is speaking of. "Why would I?"
"It's boring," She stated, obvious making a good point.
Ever since I was in high school, I try to live a simple life. Excitement was too much for me to handle, especially after I had a huge seizure in twelfth grade for having too much stress. I was always a perfectionist when it comes to grades, I try to make sure everything was perfect and by doing so it caused- not only the seizure- but gray hairs, worry and stress that a eighteen year old should not have.
So by doing the same boring thing, it calms me down and I have a little bit more control over it. "I love my routine. Speaking of routine, don't you need to get to work." I pointed out, knowing Irvine is always late to work and never penalized for it because her dad owns the company.
She twirled her ponytail in between her fingers before saying, "Not exactly, gonna show up two hours late today."
"If you really hate that job, why not just quit?" I looked down at my phone to check the time, the train I will be taking is going to show up soon- basically I had to make this conversation short. "I have to go Irvine, I'll call you later- around six-"
She shook her head at me, "Around six on the dot, got it." Irvine stopped in her tracks to turn back to the apartment.
***
The art studio was like my safe haven, I could stay in here all day without anyone bothering me. I could paint a masterpiece of mine in one sitting if I wanted to, but not today. I had to go to work in a few and I don't want to be late.
I work in my mother's community center as a daycare teacher for young moms who can't afford taking their babies to a daycare near them. It doesn't pay much, more like a hundred dollars a week, but I like to do it- it's in my nature to watch over others. I teach basic math for children at the age of four and five- I also tutor children in elementary school as well.
You may say I need an actual job, to get a career that'll teach me responsibility. However my passion for art is too strong, I do sell some portraits on the side to help pay rent- I actually receive a lot of money from that and I have very wealthy clients.
I sighed in relief when I put a few finishing touches on my drawing that I could not finish last night- I was too cramped up with other things and I was tired. I rubbed the pencil smudges off my hands with a napkin and hand sanitizer before collecting my stuff to take my leave.
***
As I set up the children's table with crayons and a coloring sheet, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist making me squeal like a pig. "Hey you," Joe; my lovely girlfriend whispered in my ear.
Joe and I have been dating for two years, her as well is from New York and went to Spleman. At first when I met Joe, it was in the shower room- I thought she was in the wrong bathroom or even the wrong school because she betrayed herself as a boy. Joe's a cross dresser/transfluid. In Atlanta it's already hard to date the same sex, so to be a cross dresser- well it wasn't pretty for Joe. However she kept her head held high, it made me like her even more- her confidence is amazing.
I turned to look into her dark brown eyes, "Hey you." I said back while wrapping my arms around her neck, my fingers rubbed her cut hair in the back. If you were far away, you would think she was an actual boy- from her fade to the type of shoes she was displaying, like I said, I was fooled.
She liked her pink plump lips that I love to suck, "What you doing tonight?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "Gotta finish up a drawing and eat the pizza I've been saving from last night. What's up?"
"How bout we go out for dinner?"
"Dinner? Okay, I can eat."
She chuckled before saying, "Aight, I'll see you. Let me go before you moms get on me." Joe volunteers here from time to time as a sponsor of the GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) group that is one of our big programs here. She leaned down and captured my lips in hers before leaving the room.
Since my life was labeled as boring in Irvine's eyes, Joe was the most exciting thing on my life at the moment. She would drag me to new and spontaneous things that I would not volunteer to go to. Joe's part of the reason why I have this profound confidence.
A young woman- our usual young mothers- walks in with her two year old daughter beside her. "Good morning, Kaxity. Say hello to Kaxity, Rachael." Her day shyly waved towards me before hiding behind her mother's leg.
I chuckled from the cuteness in the air before giving them a proper greeting. "How are you lovely ladies doing this fine morning?"
The young woman- Kayla, groaned in frustration. "Have a final coming up and I barely studied for it." While taking off Rachael jacket, Kayla explained the rough times of being a mother and a high school student as well. "...Just can't wait to graduate."
"Well it's right around the corner. You have two weeks left, right?"
Kayla nod her head in confirmation, "Thank goodness. My mother is going to pick Rachael up today."
"Okay, well you should go before your late for school. We'll be here." I guided Rachael to an empty seat at the small table where she can start her coloring.
Kayla hurried and kissed the top of her head before running out so Rachael would not see her leave. Children her age has a common thing of being afraid to leave their parents side. I seen it all the time and feel bad since I'm the one who has to peel them off their parents legs. A couple more children came in today, all with young parents that had class or work.
Hollie; another caregiver that works with me, was slightly exhausted by the end of the day. Being that the children was really hyper because my mother decided to stop by and give them all candy, only because she was in one of her moods. I think she just did it to see Hollie and I drained out.
"What a day," Hollie brushed her raven hair behind her ear while giving me her million dollar smile. Her olive skin glowed even when the room had low lighting, lapis colored eyes were bright and full of life, while she stood to her full 5'10 height. As a side job, Hollie modeled for different companies- such as Forever 21 or Cover Girl. She even appeared in a few Trey Songz and Chris Brown music videos a year back.
"Yeah," I grabbed my belongings from the cabinet we usually store our stuff in so the kids won't get to it.
"Is it fine if I ask your mom that I take a few days off... I'm traveling to California for a photo shot that I can not miss." The thing about Hollie is that she has no problem bragging about her career. Every chance she gets, she'll bring it up- even if we're talking about food, she'll say: 'I remember when I modeled a bread dress for the wacky designer in a fashion show, it was so funny. But I did see many famous people and gotten the opportunity to model with Kendall Jenner...'
I shrugged my shoulders before saying, "I'm sure she'll say yes."
Hollie set the strap of her very expensive Louis Vuitton bag on her shoulder while looking down at her phone to see the billions of text messages on her screen- probably job opportunities. "I mean, I don't want to leave you here all by yourself. Especially on a Wednesday morning, that is like a six o'clock rush hour." She chuckled at her own metaphor while flipping her long raven hair behind her shoulder.
I chuckled along with her, "I'll be fine, go ahead on that trip."
"Great, thank you so much- you're a life savor." Hollie no longer put up a fight, instead she gave me a quick half-ass hug and scurried out the door with her six inch heels on.
I mocked her words like a bitch I am on the inside. I did not envy Hollie, nor was I jealous- well maybe a little. It's just she never exactly have to work hard for anything, everything just falls in her lap. I, on the other hand, worked my ass of to where I am. Even though my mom gave me this job without second guessing, I still had to go through the training process- such as CPR and child development programs to know what to do. Hollie just had to make her father put a huge donation to the center and somehow convince my mother to give her the job right away without going through all that stuff.
Even before I received the job, I worked my ass of in college- made straight A's, became the top five in my classes, became the valedictorian and received my bachelors in business. Hollie never went to college, she spent her fours years on her father or sugar daddies yacht and beach houses, until she sat a cute ad on television and decided to become a model. Still, do not have to work hard to reach the top because daddy paid everyone off.
Calm thoughts Kax, no need to get worked up... My inner goddess spoke up, her voice slowly soothing me to the point where I'm happy sally again.
I left the center not before saying goodbye to everyone, even the janitors. I basically knew everyone that works everyday in that building, including some of the children that shows up mostly everyday after school. The center was basically my second home when I came back to New York, other than the studio- of course. If not the studio, then I hide out at the center.
I pulled out my phone from my purse and called Irvine- six o'clock on the dot. She answered on the first ring like always. "Kax, how was your day?"
"Irvine, my day was fine. How was yours?"
Irvine scoffed before saying, "Boring like always. I think my new boss is trying to sleep with me. I mean he's hot and everything, but he's basically my father's age...that would be too weird."
"Says the girl who slept with her history professor in college." I pointed out while making my way down the street towards the direction of my home.
"Hey, I was only doing that because I needed at least a B in his class. I wouldn't have done it on my free time..well technically I did. But it served a good purpose."
I gagged playfully in the phone, "Ew."
"Yeah yeah, I forgot little miss innocent earthly goddess doesn't believe in fucking- where everything is all about Mother Nature and purity.." She mimicked a yoga instructor voice that you would usually see on movies or shows.
I playfully rolled my eyes at my best friend who, as you can see, does not have a filter. "First of all, it's called a naturalist. Second of all, it's. it that I don't believe in fucking, it's just if you want to do it, do it with someone that you love and/or at least really care about."
Irvine hummed at my statement, knowing she was not listening at anything I'm saying to her. "Is that why you have not slept with Joe yet?"
My eyes widened in shock while I scoffed, "Wow, you seriously had to go there."
"Sorry bud, but come on. Joe and you have been together for two years, if you ain't hitting third-base then..."
"Maybe I'm trying to wait a little, you know." I finally reached my apartment and made my way up the steps towards the fifth floor where another safe havens of mine was waiting for me. However I stopped when I saw that huge red sign taped to my door: Foreclosure!!! Have till tomorrow to pack up your sheet and leave... That's not what it actually said, but it felt like it. "I'll call you later Irvine-"
"I'm so coming over.."
"You can't, I have a date with-" Speaking if the devil, Joe was calling me as well. "Hold that thought," I said before switching the call, I quickly changed my frown into a smile to change my tone. "Hello you,"
"Hey," Joe sound horsed as if she just woken up.
"Oh Joe, are you okay?"
"Well," she started off to say, but started to cough a little. "I'm not feeling so well."
"Really?" I questioned. "Just this morning you were feeling fine." I took the foreclosure note from my door before walking inside to see all my stuff packed up in large boxes I the middle of the apartment. My jaw dropped to the ground as the door closed automatically behind me.
Joe coughed some more on my ear, causing me to look away from the tragedy. "When I got home, I started to feel off. I'm sorry Kax, I'll make it up to you."
I sighed heavily before saying, "Just get well Joe, I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah, bye." She was the one to hang up first.
I went to Irvine's call, the smile dropped back into a frown and my happy mood plummeted. "Irvine." There was a sudden beep, indicating that she ended the call on the other side.
"...I'm here." Irvine burst into my apartment, only because I didn't lock the door behind me. Her devious smile dropped into a deep frown when she saw the pile of packed boxes in the middle of my floor. "Whoa, what-"
I showed her the foreclosure sign that was somehow not balled up in my hands by now. "The bills finally caught up to me." I stated.
"I thought you were paying your rent." Irvine walked further into my- well old apartment with shock written all over her face.
"Well," I started to say while putting my belongings down. "I've been behind on rent for three months."
"Three months!? Christ Kaxity, how come you didn't call me? Or your parents to help? Don't tell me some bullshit like: I don't want to get you all involve with my mess... We're your family Kaxity, when you have a problem come to us.
"I appreciate it, I just- I'm going to call my parents and lounge out over there until I can get back on my seat." I stated while going to my contacts to call my mother.
Irvine stopped me by putting her hand over mine, "Before you do that, I have an opportunity that can definitely kill two birds with one stone. There's an art program that pays you to display your artwork- up to a thousand dollars a piece, but..."
The idea would help on my part, considering I have two sketch books full of artwork that I have not yet out in the sun. "But?"
"But...It's kinda of a competition thing. You still get paid but the better the artwork, the more money you receive. Also it's in Barcelona."
"Spain?" I said in disbelief. "I can't go to Spain, it's out of my jurisdiction and budget."
"That's the thing." Irvine snapped her finger as if she had an awesome idea. "My lovely father has a nice vacation home in Barcelona, a working new jet and he's going to up my alliance if I go. Unfortunately if I go I would have to work with the sponsor of the program as her assistant. Come on Kax, let's do it."
I sighed heavily, considering it was a good idea because I am going to make more money than I do in two months, and I always wanted to travel- It's just wrong timing. "I don't know." I said unsure.
"Okay, sleep on it. Get to me by tomorrow evening so I can plan the trip."
I nod my head in understanding, "Okay... can I get my hand back?"
"Oh," She removed her hand not before giving me a little pat. "I'll be back, if we're going to move your stuff; then I gotta put on my sweats... Don't go anywhere."
I gave her look that showed my current emotion- frustration. "Where the hell am I supposed to go, Irvine?"
Her red covered lips tugged into a small smile, "Good point."
***
My mother was like an angel in my eyes, she's a huge role model to me when it comes to everything- my art, kind behavior, and even my love life. Her and my father has kinda been through some stuff during their relationship, but they stayed together no matter what.
My parents weren't actually my parents- not by blood at least. They took me in when I was seventeen, when I was at the point in my life where I wanted to give up. They taught me how to keep my chin up and not back down.
My mother stood by my side with my little five year old sister; Neavia in her arms sleeping, considering that my couch was on the street. "This is ridiculous, they couldn't give you a week notice?"
"That's not how it works," My father said while walking past with another large box in his arms. Mike; my fifteen year old brother walked behind him. Now that he's grown up, Mike looks like our father's clone. Neavia on the other hand looks like our mother, but adorable.
Our mother cursed under her breath before giving me her full attention. "We have the guest room ready, you can stay as long as you want."
"Thanks mom, but I'm going to be on my game this time. Get a part time and sell more painting." Probably go to Barcelona and be part of an art competition...
She gave me a small smile before saying, "Okay."
***
The next day started off a little differently than my usual mornings. Other than waking up in my parents guest room and cooking a whole meal that my father taught me, I went straight to Joe's apartment. Just because my evening was not as good, I still can be a good girlfriend.
My knuckles connected with the oak door of her studio apartment, that was twice the size of my old apartment. Joe opened the door with with nothing but her tank top and boy shorts on. She looked perfectly fine to me, I guess sleep would help. However instead of a smile upon her face, it was a deep frown. "Kax, what are you doing here?"
I lifted the bowl of warm home made chicken soup, "Brought chicken soup, my father's recipe." I walked in, giving her no time to step aside or make up an excuse to make me leave like she does most of the time. I place the back of my hand on her forehead to feel her warmth- the regular warmth a human being should have. "You feeling okay?"
Joe slowly closed the door behind her before stepping by my side. "Yeah, I took some medicine last night. Thanks for the soup." She took the container out of my hands. "Do you have work? I don't want you to be late."
"Joe," I said her name so softly with a small smile upon my lips. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" I asked jokingly while stepping further into her apartment. However I regretted ever walking in when I saw a tall woman, breast exposed to the world- luckily she had on underwear. She walked past me as if I wasn't standing there, as if I was a ghost.
"Kax," Joe stepped to my side, causing me to turn even more angry because she saw nothing wrong. "Sorry you had to find out like this. It's just, I'm a human being- we have urges to-"
I glared at her as if she spat in my face- in which it actually felt like it. "Don't pull that psychological crap on me. Just because I'm not having sex with you, doesn't mean you can cheat on me with... her." I gestured towards the half naked woman who was just staring at us in amusement. "Fuck you!" I screamed before storming out her apartment.
As soon as I stepped outside, I took a huge whiff of air to calm my nerves and took out my phone to call Irvine. I wiped my tears away when she answered my call. "Irvine, I'm in. Let's go to Barcelona."
Amandla Stenberg as Kaxity White...