Chapter 30: This Pain It Visits Almost Nightly
BLADES POV
After hours of weeping into my knees I decided to go back upstairs. I first checked on the kids, there they were sound asleep, just the way I like to see them. I noticed that it was quiet in mine and Andy's room. When I went in there I saw something that I've never wanted to see...Andy about to slide a razor blade across his wrists.
"ANDY!" I squealed as I ran over to him. I took the blade out of his hands and threw it across the room.
"BLADE, GIVE IT BACK!" He shouted as he ran towards it.
"NO!" I shouted back. I ran to it, picked it up and cried. "ANDY WHY! Huh! Why?" I said as I began to cradle his head while the blood from his wrists flowed. I went to the bathroom and flushed the razor down and grabbed toilet paper so I could tend to his wounds.
"Be-because I thought I lost you again." He stuttered.
"Well you would've if you've taken that razor blade across your skin." I sobbed.
"I'm so sorry Blade." He said crying into my chest.
"Why Andy?"
"Because I didn't want to lose you in that way again."
"Andy, listen to me yes I was upset but I'd never want to lose you, at least not like that." I said picking his head up and kissing his forehead. "Now, tell me why you really did that and why you kissed Juliet? Please I think I at least deserve that."
"And you do it's just..." He said biting his bottom lip.
"It's just what?"
"Well the only reason I hurt you was because, it's because....IM NO GOOD FOR YOU!" He finally let out.
"What do you mean?" I looked him in the eyes as he tried to push my head away.
"I mean this is exactly why I left you in the first place, I'm hurting you."
"Andy this is just some stupid silly excuse because you wouldn't have hurt me if you would've have cheated on me with your ex-girlfriend." I said starting to get angry.
"I only cheated on you because me and Juliet we were drinking and I must've gotten drunk and then she kissed me and yes I did kiss back but honestly I didn't like it and also she got jealous because I brought out something that must've made her like that." He then pulled out a little black velvet box.
"A-Andy you were gonna propose?" I stuttered on the verge of tears again.
"Yeah I thought maybe we were ready again but now I ruined it again." He pouted and looked down and twiddled with his thumbs.
"Andy I had no idea! You didn't show any signs of it this time." I smiled.
"Really? So if I ask you, you'd say yes?" He said smiling, face lighting up.
"Well no, not after what just happened maybe later but I do love you."
"Yeah I thought." He said, smile fading away and him seeming glum. I picked his head up by his chin and looked him deep in the eyes and kissed him. Who could deny those beautiful blue eyes.
"I never wanted to hurt you, I love you too much." He said breaking the kiss.
"Andy, I love you too but I think we need to take a break again."
"Yeah I was actually hoping your mouth would avoid those words."
"Well you did cheat but it won't be that long again, before you know it it'll be over. Alright?" I nodded.
"Yeah alright." He shrugged. "And um my face still kinda hurts from the slapping." He chuckled.
"Hey that's what you get sweetheart." I said with a cheesy smile.
"I guess I deserved that." He sighed.
"Yep."
※ 2 WEEKS LATER ※
"Hey Andy!" I shouted throughout the house.
"Yeah?"
"I have big news!"
"What is it?" He said coming downstairs.
"I got a job today." I smiled.
"You did! Congratulations!" He have me a shy hug. I cleared my throat in release. "Sorry." He said backing away.
"It's okay, actually can you do that again?" I gave a small smile.
"What again?"
"Hug me. It felt nice." I said, smile getting bigger. He pulled me in for another hug. I rested my head on his chest. "This feels nice."
"It does." He gave me a smirk.
"I miss this." I said breaking the hug.
"Then why do we end it?" He whispered.
"To heal." I said aloud. I gave him another small hug then I headed upstairs and saw Alex playing with Ayla and Drew.
"So what's the job you got?" Andy said coming up from behind me.
"I never told you this but actually I'm kinda a small artist, and I got a job down at this one place. People say what they want me to draw for them and I draw it and I get paid. And if that doesn't work out I was offered a job at this one tattoo shop."
"That's amazing! Good job Blade!"
"Thanks!"
"And next month we start Warped Tour again. Do you wanna come this time?"
"Yes! I'd love too but what about the kids?...and us?"
"I have a friend that can watch them."
"I don't know Andy. I really don't wanna leave the kids for so long. And I still don't know how we are yet."
"They'll be fine and if you want to you can always come back home early. And yeah..."
"Okay fine."
"So Blade, can we get back together again?"
"Not yet. I'm sorry I just don't really think I can trust you again." I slowly walked to the room and started to cry. I didn't know how I felt about him anymore. I mean I still loved him but it's just hard I think I might move in with BVB for right now...
*************************************************************************************************************** HEY! Sorry if it sucks but I'm back on this account now!