#GMACPieceOfAdvice
I cried for nights because I couldn't just forget what happened to my baby. It was haunting me. I was so stupid not to believe what my friends say. I was so naive to put a blind eye on what's going on. He made a fool of me. He told me they're just friends. I tried to understand because that's what Dean and I are too. Damn but you know how a woman's gut feeling does? I knew something's not right, something is off but I chose to ignore because I trust him. I love him and I believed his words that he wouldn't hurt me. He won't cheat on me because I am his only love.
It's a crap that cheaters like him cheat for sex. Damn it why would he cheat just for sex?! Is it because I'm not there and he wanted to get laid?! Bullsh*t!
Now I know that no feeling lasts forever. Not joy. Now I know that promises were meant to be broken. Am I not enough? Am I not worth it? What's wrong with me?
"Hey.."
"Hey Brie.." I timidly smiled.
Brianna's annoying the hell out of me so I told her where I was. She promised not to tell Seth though.
"I know you're not okay so I won't ask that.."
I heard that she sighed. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again so I won't think, but Brie..
"Come on! You're gonna rot in this room! You're so pale, go out and see the sunshine!"
This is why I wouldn't want Brie to stay with me. She's a nagger. God! Hope Joe had earplugs with him always.
"Urgh! Brianna leave me alone," I groaned. She's freaking out again.
"My gosh Nicole! I know it's hard to move on, but try at least.."
"Sure." I rolled my eyes. Easy to say, but too hard to do.
Brianna was preparing her things because she said she had a booking on Smackdown. I wanted to go back to WWE, but I just couldn't right now. I don't want to see Seth. I don't want to talk to him. Especially that fake blonde wench. Darn! I wanted to choke her to death! But a part of me wanted to see him. After all he'd done. I loved him, and I still love him. I'm lying to myself! My god I'm getting insane!
I sighed. I looked at myself at the mirror. Brianna said was right. I haven't go out. I am pale, I am fat. My gosh! I look like a bum!
My phone rang and it's Dean calling. What now?! I neglected his calls. I don't know what to say. We have nothing to talk about.
"Why aren't you picking up? Who's that?" Nosy Brie asked.
"Dean,"
She looked at me. I narrowed my eyes. What's with that look?
"He's just worried about you Nicole. Why wouldn't you talk to him?"
"We have nothing to talk about.. And besides, Seth's getting mad when I'm talking to him."
"What? After all you'd gone through, you're worried what will Seth think? I thought you wanted a divorce?"
"I don't know.. I haven't heard his explanation yet."
"And you're going to talk to him?" I shrugged. I am not sure yet. I don't know. I need some advice, I know.
"Would you like to come with me?" She said and gave a small smile. I know Brie understands me, I'm thankful for that. After all the evilest things she'd done to me, she's also my angel. Bipolar, isn't it?
I decided to go. I wanted to talk to my friends. I wanted to hear their advices. It's been almost three weeks that I shut myself in a room. I badly need it.
I'm searching for ways to move on, but even google can't help me. Or I just can't help myself. It's so hard! Seems like a piece of me died. I don't know how to bring back my old self.
..
I'm feeling nervous as I walk on the hallway. Brie's ahead of me and I'm just trailing behind her. I don't know why my heart is thumping loudly like it wants to get out of my chest. I held it and feel my heart beating fast. I know I'll bumped at them here. Am I ready for that?
I wanted to know what really happened. I wanted to know the truth.. Because the truth sets you free. Right?
"Nicole!" My thoughts were interrupted by Brie. Bryan is beside her and they're looking at me. I didn't notice that we're here already.
"Nicole, are you alright?" Bryan asked.
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just thinking about something.."
"She needs you Bryan," Brie told him.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "What are you talking about Brianna?"
But instead of answering me, he turned to Bryan again. "She needs counseling, so she needs your advice. I know you're good at that."
Wait. What? Counseling? Brianna's insanely crazy!
"I don't know.." Bryan said unsure of what Brie wants him to do.
"Please Bryan?" My forehead just creased when Brie's like this. She's using her charm.
"Okay.." He nodded. My mouth gaped at his remark. I can't believe this! She's an expert schemer!
"Thank you very much! So, I'll leave you two alone to talk. There's plenty of time before the show starts.." She said and then looked at me. "I hope this would help you.."
I just forcefully smiled and then she walked away. Now, I'm alone with Bryan. As far as I remember, he left me speechless with his words the last time we talked.
"Let's go?" I turned at him when he spoke. My forehead was still in crease so he smiled. "Brie has been telling me what's going on with your life, so.."
"Brie tell you what?" I asked confused. Sometimes I don't get Bryan. You'll ask him, he'll not answer. I crossed my arms on my chest and raised a brow.
"You know what? You should hear Seth's side. Don't jump on conclusions by yourself. It won't solve your problem, it maybe bigger."
"What if he's lying?"
"At least, you let him explain himself. Don't care if he's telling the truth or not. It's not your loss, it's his. After that, move on and be happy. Happiness is a choice Nikki. If you want to be happy, be happy. It's all up to yourself." He lastly said and tapped my shoulder before he left.
I'm sinking to my mind what he said. Maybe I have to hear Seth. But what if his words were lies? I don't really want to believe lies again. But as Bryan said, at least I got to hear his explanation. I sighed. I'm getting stressed, really.
"Nik Nik!"
"Hey.." We hugged as we greet each other.
"It's been a long time. How are you?"
"I doubt you didn't know what's going on with my life,"
He gave me that apologetic smile. He won't say the word I know. We knew each other well. We're like brothers and sisters.
"You'll move on.." He said and gonna pat my head but then I spat his hand away. He shortly laughed.
"Just..be happy. Travel around world, explore new things! Or you could come back to wrestling. Isn't that what you love to do? So you won't think about the bad things happening in your life. Make yourself busy."
"Thanks Rands.."
"You know that I love you.."
"You know that I love you too.." I smiled and we hugged. "Brother.." I added.
That's right. I love him as a brother and he loves me too as a sister. That's what we are, a family. I realized I shouldn't be all negative, there's my family and friends who love and support me. I should move on from the hurt and be happy.
..
I walked into the locker rooms. I decided to talk to Seth. I'm ready to face him. I don't know but, I wanted to give it another chance. That's what my friends say. If it's broken, fix it. It's so hard to decide that I thought about it for hours until the show ended. Now, this is it! No backing down. I'm going to him.
"Nicole,"
I know he's tired and all because he just had a match. He's supposed to be inside his locker and change clothes.
"Dean, not now please."
I didn't want to be too rude, but he's so dire annoying.
"Just want to give you a piece of advice.. If you're going to Seth, don't.."
"And why is that?"
"I don't want you get hurt again.."
Why is he telling me these things when I'm ready to face my fear?
"Why would I get hurt again? I'm just going to talk to him. I'm going to fix things out," I said and turned my back. But Dean followed me and held my arm.
"That is a bad idea. Save yourself and stop right now!"
"What are you talking about?! You don't tell me what to do." I said and proceed to where I'm supposed to go. Dean's being an ass again.
But when I turned to the corner, I saw him at a distance. I instantly stopped at my track. My heart is beating fast. My chest is tightening. My breathing's getting heavy. Tears are urging to flow.
Damn this fvcking life!
After all, it's true.
Want to know what I saw?
My husband...
....kissing another girl.