I woke up the next morning with arms wrapped around me. I turned over and looked at Chibs. He was still wearing his Kutte, his jeans, and his boots. The over coming smell of blood made my stomach turn. I got out off bed and pucked my gut out. Chibs walked in and looked at me.
Chibs: are you okay?
Me: your shirt smells horrible.
He walked out and when he came back he had a different shirt on. I brushed my teeth and then went to make breakfast. He's phone went off so he got dressed and left without even eating breakfast. I threw everything away and got dressed then headed down to TM. I walked in and Jen ran up and hugged me.
Me: what's going on?
Jen: you weren't answering your phone.
Me: I was asleep.
Jen: you sleep alot.
Me: so?
Jen: how's the baby?
Me: good. Morning sickness feels like I'm dying but I'm good. What about you how's the baby?
Jen: he's good.
Me: awesome.
She kissed my cheek and walked away. Chibs was busy so I went home and made dinner. Chibs didn't come home that night but I didn't care. No matter what I did he was always gone unless something bad happened at the Clubhouse. I didn't feel wanted, if anything I felt unwanted so it might have been a dramatic move but I packed all my shit in my car and left. I left no note, but my wedding band was left on the kitchen table. I picked up some snacks and left state. Over the next couple days I had to get my mind clear of everything. It was like a bad dream that I couldn't wake up from. Everyone kept blowing up my phone and I didn't answer any of them. I was gone for a total of two months which landed me right at 5 months. I walked into the house and nothing was unmoved it looked like Chibs hasn't even been home. Jen called me and I answered it.
Me- hello?
Jen- fuck where are you?
Me- my house.
Jen- stay there I'm on my way.
Me- okay.
I started laundry and cleaning up around the house. My front door opened and I walked out to see Jen, Chibs, Jax, Gemma, and the rest if the guys.
Chibs: Las where did you go?
Me: I had to clear my mind.
Chibs: you couldn't tell us that? I was worried sick.
Me: I'm fine and so is your son.
Chibs: it's a boy?
Me: yeah.
Jen just came over and pulled me in a hug then mom did.
Jen: I thought I lost you again.
Me: nope your not that lucky.
Jen: your lucky your carrying my nephew.
Me: shut up. What about you?
Jen: Knox is perfect. I'm due any day know.
Me: I can't believe your due before me.
Jen: we have so much to check up on.
Me: I see that.
Everyone left besides Jen and Chibs told my he would be home later. We got some snacks and stuff and I made popcorn to have a movie night with my sister.
Me: where's Tara?
Jen: Chinese killed her.
Me: whole shit.
Jen: yeah so that just made us freak out even more.
Me: I'm fine.
Jen: me and Hap are getting a divorce.
Me: why?
Jen: he's been getting serious with this chick from Diosa.
Me: what?
Jen: it's a escort service that Jax helps run with mom's new boyfriend.
Me: gross and mom has a new boyfriend?
Jen: it's whatever as long as he's in the baby's life and yeah he's name is Nero.
Me: who is he?
Jen: who?
Me: the person who's taking your attention off Happy?
Jen: it's more like who is she.
Me: oh wow!
Jen: her name is Brooklyn and once Knox is born I'm giving full custody to Happy and we're moving.
Me: where?
Jen: anywhere away from Charming.
Me: oh.
Jen: don't be like that. It's not forever just for alittle while.
Me: I learned some scary stuff while I was away.
Jen: like what?
Me: when I give birth to baby boy there is a 50/50 chance I could die.
Jen: then why do it?
Me: I can't abort a baby I have been growing inside me for 5 months. I'm so in love with him it's crazy.
Jen: crazy enough to give your life for?
Me: of course. Chibs will be an amazing father even without me but you have to swear on everything you won't tell anyone.
Jen: I swear.
That's what we did that night was sit there and talk. I was afraid of dying more then anything but I couldn't give up my baby boy. She fell asleep on the couch and I went to my bed. Chibs came home around 2 am and climbed right into bed.
Chibs: I love you lass.
Me: I love you too Filip.
I kissed him and snuggled into his side. I couldn't tell him about it. I didn't even wanna tell my sister about it but I had too.