Hi, this is just a book that I have been wanting to write for a while now. So hopefully by giving myself time to write this you will enjoy this too. Please don't judge or dislike I wrote this when I was 13 and an inexperienced writer. I hope you like and please look at the external links to see the outfits, characters, ect.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or any songs that are featured in this story.
I am currently editing this story, so it may seem a little different if you are reading it again. I wrote this when I was 13-15 so I am just adding more description and making it flow better, maybe add a bit more to the plot. If the chapter has been edited it will show so as followed:
**Edited ✅**
Chapter 1: Left
"Goodbye, Bella" he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice. He leans in and plants a final kiss on my forehead. I feel it reverberate all the way to my toes, giving me an all too familiar shiver. His lips felt more similar in temperature to my skin, which the cold air of forks had taken it's affects to. I catch myself leaning into his kiss and within seconds his lips disappeared. I stumbled forward and my eyes open in shock as I now stand alone in the forest not far down the trail from my house. The trees surrounding me feel like they have grown even bigger, towering over my small frame. I wrap my arms around my torso as I search the forest for any trace of Edward. I shiver as the cold wind whips my skin. I fall to my knees as his words sink in.
He left me...
I crumble to the floor and get into foetal position as it feels like my insides begin to crumble. I feel the tears streak my face before I can control them, my arms tighten around my torso until they are clawing at the skin below the thin material. I try desperately to hold myself together, hoping that this was all some sick dream and I would wake up in Edward's arms at any given moment. I lay there for what felt like hours as the sun started to hide behind the horizon and the cold became unbearable. I lay and ponder, what I ever did to deserve such hurt. It felt like a piece of my heart had been taken away and a huge gaping hole had taken it's place, lodged deep into my chest cavity. The cold has caused me to shiver uncontrollably now and it had gotten to be pitch black, the trees around me being barely visible now. As the cold caused me to drift off, I had one final thought...
I am so pathetic for letting anyone cause me to hurt in this way...
I wake up as I feel two strong arms lift me up from the ground. I groan as I fight my heavy eyelids in a battle I am not sure that I would win. Whoever was carrying me felt super warm and I snuggle closer as I shiver from the cold. That was when my eyes open and all I can see is tan before I lose the battle and let my eyes drift shut again.
"I've got her Charlie" My eyes snap open again as I hear my father's name. Charlie!!! He must be worried sick right now. Dinner was meant to be on ages ago. I hear as footsteps run in my direction and look over grugishly as my father and Jacob run over to me with panicked and concerned faces.
"Jacob?" I grumble. I clear my throat as my eyebrows furrow "What are you doing here?"
"Here give her to me" I hear Charlie demand from whoever was holding me.
"I've got it Charlie" Jacob steps up and shares an intense look with the person carrying me. He grabs me tight as he juggles me into his arms.
"I'm okay, put me down" I groan at the jostling.
"It's okay Bella, I got you" Jacob says as he adjust me in his arms.
"I am fine, put me down Jacob" When I give him an insistent look, he glances to Charlie that doesn't look convinced but nods anyway. He gently sets me to my feet and I feel my muscles scream in protest. I lock my knees in place, determined to not let my weakness show.
"Where was she?" Charlie asked the boy behind me. I just now get a good look at him and notice how tall he is. He stands high at about 6'6" with tan skin and I recognise him from the trip to La Push beach a while back.
"Just off the trail, not too far from the house" He answers Charlie standing tall. He nods to the man behind Charlie who I recognise as Harry Clearwater before he jogs off to stand with a few other boys that look like him.
"Jesus Bells! What were you thinking wondering into the woods? Did you wanna get yourself killed?" Charlie exclaimed as he assessed me for injuries. I grab my torso and shiver, leaning against Jacob for support. He placed his arm around me and rubs my arm in an attempt to warm me up. As I think back to the reason I was in the woods, it all comes back to me and I force myself to swallow the tears. Not here, not now....
"I went for a walk with Ed-" I try to say and recognition paints Charlie's face as it clicks in. He must know the Cullen's have left town. He steps forward and takes my other side.
"I got her Jacob, can you wrap it up here. Let everyone know that I owe them all one and I am forever thankful for their help" Jacob nods and gives me one final glance before he slides his hand off my waist. Charlie and I make our way into the house, me leaning heavily on him for support. I had shivered so hard that my muscles were cramping. As we walked passed all the people who came to help, I couldn't help but feel ashamed to have caused such a panic. All this because of a boy. My cheeks flushed as I hurried to get to the door with Charlie.
When we got inside, Charlie immediately rushed me over to the couch and wrapped me in a blanket. He cranked up the heating and grabbed the second blanket from his recliner, wrapping me up tight. He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water with some Panadol and what looked to be some toast. He stood black watching as I gulped down the water and slowly picked away at the toast, taking the pills in hopes to help with the body aches. Feeling slightly uncomfortable at his staring I placed the finished plate and cup on the coffee table and slowly rise to my feet.
"I'm okay Dad, I swear. Go and thank everyone for their help. I am just gonna shower and get ready for bed" I tried to reassure him. All I wanted to do was curl up in to bed and drown in my misery in private, his watchful eyes were not gonna be any help with that.
"Are you sure Bells? I can get you some more water" He went to reach for the cup, making an excuse to stay and try to be helpful. I snatched it up before he can reach it and hold it in between my two hands.
"I'll grab it, go. Before everyone leaves" I shoo him out the door with a wave of a hand. He reluctantly leaves through the front door and I sneak a glance to see that there is still a few people mulling around out there, packing up and getting ready to go home for the night.
I go into the kitchen and fill up my glass, leaning against the bench as I sip this one a lot slower than I did the first one. I jump as I hear the telephone dial shrill and set my glass aside. I grab the phone off the hook and press answer, bringing it to my ear.
"Swan residence, Bella speaking" I answer in case it was Charlie's work or a friend of his.
"Bella?" I hear a shocked voice on the other side of the phone "Sorry - It's Angela. I was just ringing to check if you were alright? I heard the news about the Cullen's leaving town and that no one could find you..."
I cringe as the tears burn my eyes, I blink rapidly as I clear my throat.
"Yeah, I just got lost. I took a walk in the forest, you know how my sense of direction is" I try to play it off as I feel embarrassed. School on Monday is going to be a nightmare, the whole town must know.
"I am so glad to hear you're okay, um... My mother wanted to ask if you wanted company tonight? I know you probably want to be alone right now but I - we thought you might enjoy having someone there to distract you and maybe tomorrow we could go shopping?" Angela suggested in a quiet voice, not really sure of herself.
"Sure, I would love that. I um... I really don't want to be alone tonight. Is it okay if I come and get you? I could really use an escape for a bit" I ask her as I grab onto the roots of my hair mulling it through. I really want to be alone right now but I know that if I let myself mull on it too long I will just end up breaking down and I really don't want to scare Charlie even more than I already have tonight and maybe if I have Angela over I can avoid the millions of questions and lectures he has in store for me.
"Of course, I will pack my bag now and wait out front. Do you remember where I live?" She asks as she seems to chipper up at my answer.
"Yeah of course, I will be over in 20-30 mins after a shower" I say as I see Charlie re-enter the kitchen. I give him as best a smile I could manage at this moment.
"I will wait by the door, see ya Bella"
"Bye, Ange"
Charlie takes a seat at the table and raises an eyebrow expecting an explanation. I leant against the counter facing him, taking a sip of my water.
"Why was Angela Webber calling?" He asks as he starts to untie his boots.
"She heard the Cullens left and wanted to know if I wanted company tonight" I say nonchalantly.
"Well that's nice of her" He states with a tilt of his head. I nod absentmindedly in agreement.
"I am going to pick her up after I have a shower" I add.
"Are you sure Bells? I thought you would want to go straight to bed tonight" He presses with concern.
"I think distraction is good, I don't really want to think about..."
"Because then it will feel real?" He presses tentatively with understanding on his face. I look down, determined not to let my weakness show. The tears pricked my eyes but I swallowed harshly, batting them away. I take in a sharp intake of breathe, feeling like the air stings my lungs. I take a sip of my water to keep all the feelings down.
"Exactly" I say in a small voice. He nods and doesn't press the matter further. I have never had more appreciation for Charlie than I did in that moment.
"I will be in the Lounge Room if you need me Bells" Charlie says as he makes his way out of the room. He pauses in the doorway and turns back "One more thing, please don't ever go out into the woods alone again"
I nod as he leaves the room and makes his way to the baseball game sure to be on the TV already. His words strike me and I shake my head to dispel the thoughts...
I wasn't alone, at least not until he....
***********************************************************************************************
I grab my keys off the rack after one of the most amazing showers I have had in my entire life. My muscles felt a thousand times better, the hot water melted the knots with each water drop that belted against my skin. I put on the coat hanging by the front door and shut the door behind me as I take the steps in big strides. I swing into the cab of my truck and it roars to life with a turn of the key. I jump as the radio starts to play. I cringe at the new stereo, just another reminder that this is real. I reach over to turn it off but I realise what song is playing and freeze.
"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess"
I sit and listen as I recognise the song, Katy Perry. This was one of her favourite songs... I shiver as Alice's face flashes into my head. I get a flashback of her singing along in her melodious voice as we drove to Jacksonville. I start to sing along as I feel a singular tear escape.
"So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready 'cause I've had enough
I see it all, I see it now
[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh x3
You're gonna hear me roar
Now I'm floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready 'cause I've had enough
I see it all, I see it now
[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh x3
You're gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh x2
You'll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna hear me roar...
Ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh x3
You're gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh x2
You'll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You're gonna hear me roar..."
By the time I finish, I realise that my cheeks were streaked with tears. I rubbed my face with the sleeve of my coat trying to erase all evidence, but I know my eyes will give me away if anyone actually looked close enough. I quickly turned the radio off and put the car into gear, trying to get to Angela's as fast as the truck would allow me. I pulled up in front of Angela's house and Angela came out running to get into the truck dodging the rain drops but with little success.
"Hey Ange" I try to make my voice as normal as possible as she sets her bags beside her on my truck's front seat.
"Hey Bella, I'm glad we can do this. I think a girl's night will be fun" She says as she pulls out face masks from her bag "My mum made me bring them"
The look on my face must have said it all because we both simultaneously start to laugh. It was a strange sensation to laugh, especially knowing that it was only a few short hours ago that... I slowly stop laughing as I put the truck in reverse and start the journey home. Angela doesn't press for conversation, much like Charlie in that department and I was grateful for it. I knew if any of my other friends were in her place, they would not have offered me the same courtesy. She reaches over and turns on the radio. I cringe looking away, trying to hide my distaste and holding back the urge to turn it back off.
And I never got past what you put me through
But it's wonderful to see that it never fazed you
Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"
How's your heart after breakin' mine?"
Angela bops along to the new Taylor Swift song and starts to sing along quietly. I focus on the road as I try not to imagine a certain little pixie like vampire in her place. But I can't help but to pretend it is her and get carried away in the daydream. It hurts to think about her but I allow myself this moment, although thinking of her hurts a lot less than thinking of Ed-him. I sing along just like I would if it were her and basked in this moment.
"Mr. "Always at the right place at the right time, " baby
Hello Mr. "Casually cruel"
Mr. "Everything revolves around you"
I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye
And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"
So dignified in your well-pressed suit
So strategized, all the eyes on you
Sashay away to your seat
It's the best seat, in the best room
Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"
So far above me in every sense
So far above feeling anything
And it's really such a shame
It's such a shame
'Cause I was Miss "Here to stay"
Now I'm Miss "Gonna be alright someday"
And someday maybe you'll miss me
But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"
Goodbye Mr. "Perfectly fine"
How's your heart after breakin' mine?
Mr. "Always at the right place at the right time, " baby
Goodbye Mr. "Casually cruel"
Mr. "Everything revolves around you"
I've been Miss "Misery" for the last time
And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"
You're perfectly fine
Mr. "Look me in the eye and told me you would never go away"
You said you'd never go away"
I sang hitting every note as well as I could, knowing that I would never do justice to the voice of the pixie I was imagining beside me. I pulled into my short drive way before looking over to Angela after realising I had just sung in front of her for the first time. I have not let anyone here my voice beside Alice, and I guess Jasper not that I can be sure he was really listening.
Angela had her mouth agape as she stared at me with unblinking eyes. I blush as I try to avoid her gaze and grab the keys from the ignition. I look up again and see that she it still shocked. Was my singing really that bad? I know I have nothing on Alice but I didn't think I was tone death.
"That was amazing!" She exclaimed loudly. I cringe back as I see a side of Angela I had never witnessed. She seemed way to excitable and overbearing, nothing like the shy quiet Angela I was so used.
"I'm not that good" I said self consciously as I pick at my nails.
"You sing like an angel!" She continues. I looked down and get out of the car with Angela following soon after me, juggling her bag.
"Thank you I guess... I've never really shared that with anyone, well except Ali-" I cut myself off when my heart stings and Angela looks at me with pity
"Well I think you sound really good. Jessica was talking about a talent show they are having at school the other day. Maybe you should put your name down"
"I couldn't go in front of the whole school and show them something that I haven't showed anyone else but you a-a-and..." I said nervously. She couldn't be serious, me... singing... audience...no...
"I think you should do it, prove to them and to yourself that you can do it. I understand if you don't want to do it but after you encouraged me to ask Eric out to prom I think I should encourage you to do the same thing" She said persuasively. I guess I did encourage her to take her shot and be brave and now it was my turn to be the brave one. Prove that I am not going to be the pathetic Bella that followed Ed-him around like a lost little puppy.
"I will help you the whole time if you need support?" She suggested. I seriously pondered her request and really tried to consider it.
....................................................................
So.... Will Bella say yes? Will she wimp out? Tell me what you think?
Please vote and comment!