Chest pressed against my thighs, I stared at the wall as I sat on the toilet naked.
Remington was out in the kitchen prepping for Sebastian and Emerson to come over to make food. Truth was I didn't want to eat.
It'd been 2 weeks since I came back and Remington was still holding the grunge against me. We still slept in the same bed, for we couldn't sleep without each other.
The song Little Do You Know by Eminem was replay in my head. More like the lines:
Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep. Little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories. Little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece. Little do you know I need a little more time.
Little do you know I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep. Little do you know all my mistakes are slowly drowning me. Little do you know I'm trying to piece yourself up piece by piece. Little do you know I- I love you till the sun dies.
I wanted nothing more then to be in his arms other then at the night time. I want to feel his lips against mine again. His teasing that could've led to father things but didn't. I'd even attempted to get him horny to bring him back to me.
Remington was in the shower, the door cracked open and the steamy water running.
I laid on my stomach on the bed, shirtless with only my underwear on. My arms kept myself covered as I read a book and kicked my feet as I waited. My eyes kept glancing back at the door for a sign of him.
The water turned off and the curtain opened. He stood in the mirror, a towel wrapped around his waist, and looked at himself. Spiking his hair back up, he fixed his necklace around his neck. For a couple minutes he just starred at his reflection like he was meeting a new person.
My heart ached for him, the visions he'd seen of Denis and I still replayed in my eyes. I was sure they still replayed in his.
After putting on a pair of boxer briefs, he walked out into the room. His eyes stopped on mine and ran over my body.
I almost felt ashamed to be laying here like this. Especially after what had just happened to make him so distant from me. But I wanted him happy. I would do anything to bring him back to me.
I turned onto my back, covering my chest with my arms and looked down at my hips that looks like a skeleton with a thin layer of skin on it. Sometimes my weight scared me but I couldn't help it, it was my sickness. Have no control over it. Even my ribs showed a little but not too much.
His eyes traced my body and stared in confusion like he was at a loss of words or unknowing of what to do. I chewed my lip and looked at him. He bit his lip and crawled into bed next to me, looking at me.
We'd spoken so little of words since that day. All he really said to me was I love you, me returning.
When I'd snapped out of my thoughts, Remington was slowly crawling over me, kissing me. I smiled and kissed back. He was coming back to me.
Or so I thought.
His lips found their way to my neck, leaving hickeys along my collar bone. His hands gripping my hips and rubbing his thumb across my pale skin.
My stomach clenched at his touch kept going along with it, leaving him in control. He kissed all over my collar bone and neck, leaving wet spots from his tongue. My hands grazed down his back, making him bite on my skin gently. They stopped on the trim of his boxers, gripping them in my fists and tugged on them.
Remington's hand quickly found mine and pulled it away from his boxers. He fell down next to me, on his back and let out a huge sigh.
I closed my eyes and covered my chest again. His eyes landed on me, his hand gripping my thigh still. He moved his thumb slowly as if in attempt to comfort me. "I'm sorry, Lizzie. I just can't. Especially not at a time like this."
I nodded, keeping my eyes closed, and faced my back to him, pulling the covers up to my shoulder. He let out another sigh and pulled my waist to his, keeping his hands on my hips. I pulled away from him and hid my face in the pillow.
I was slowly loosing him everyday, unknowing on how to bring him back. I didn't want just be in his arms at night because I had to be. I wanted to be in his arms because he wanted me there.
Remington lightly rubbed my back as I drifted to sleep, too tired to pull away from his reach. "I'm sorry, Princess." He whispered. "I wish I could. I really do. But I just can't."
Whatever. It didn't matter.
But it did matter. A lot more then I care to give it credit.
I got dressed in one of his red plaid shirts, in attempt to draw attention from him, and a pair of my ripped black jeans.
Sebastian and Emerson would be over soon to help Remington cook and I wanted to be no where near food. I needed to think of an excuse to leave, fast.
I fixed my hair and makeup in the mirror and looked at myself. Lifeless. Again. Dull eyes and a pale-grey completion.
My carton of cigarettes was running low when I smoked this morning, that was a perfect excuse. I stuck about $10 in my pocket and headed for the door.
Remington looked up at me from his food preparation, setting out vegetables and seasonings for the turkey. "Where are you going?"
I lifted my over half empty carton of cigarettes. "Going to get more."
Remington sighed and set everything in his hands down. "You're skipping out on food? Really Lizzie? I thought you finally started eating again."
He was doing it again. Poking in my fucking brain. Reading my thoughts. Great. I really need to learn to do that.
His expression hadn't changed and he keep looking at me with a worried but pissed off look. "Well yeah I was eating but now I've lost every reason to eat."
He raised his eyebrow. "What does that mean? You need to eat to be healthy and live."
I shook my head. "You don't get it do you? I don't want to be alive Remington. You forced me to live. I was happy and willing to eat but I made a slight mistake you won't forgive me for."
"Slight mistake? Lizzie you fucked another man and made me watch it."
"I didn't make you watch anything. You poked in my brain." I crossed my arms. "I've tried everything to make you happy again but you're being stubborn."
"Yes, because I so want to have sex with you after you just fucked another guy. Makes sense." I swallowed back a clump in my throat. His voice softened and he let out a long sigh. "I love you, Lizzie and I want nothing more then to enjoy a night like that with you but not at a time like this. Its just too sore."
"When will it not be sore? Huh? Its been 2 weeks. I've done everything to try to get you touch me other then to hold me when we sleep. I crave your touch. Crave your kisses. I just want your attention that isn't negative." Tears formed in my eyes.
"You've got my attention now."
"Negative attention." I yawned.
He walked over to where I was standing and stopped in front of me. "You're tired because you haven't been eating. You need to eat."
I yawned again and looked at him. "The only thing I need is for you to stop being such a pest about all of this and just love me again."
He cupped my cheeked and kissed my lips full force. My arms wrapped around his neck and kissed back, holding back a small smile. This is what I was waiting for. A genuine kiss.
"Well well well. Are we intruding?" Emersons voice rang in my ears.
We stopped and looked over at the door. Sebastian brought in two small bags and set them down, looking at us.
I chewed my lip and pulled away from Remington. "No. I was actually just leaving." I sighed.
Remington grabbed my hips and pulled me to him. "No you weren't. You're staying here and eating with us."
Emerson furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm just going to make my side of stuffing. I'm not as good of a cook as these two."
There was no way Remington was letting me leave and it was getting on my nerves. He gave me an innocent smile and kissed my cheek. "Sorry, Princess. You have to eat." He locked the door and headed over to make the turkey.
I huffed and sat at the counter, watching them. Sebastian was making these weird looking mashed potatoes with seasoning in it, along with homemade cranberry sauce.
Remington was mixing some seasonings together to go in and on the turkey so he could deep fry it out back. I missed deep fried turkey in all honesty. Forget the turkey. It was the skin I wanted.
Emerson ended before Sebastian and Remington, who was filling the kitchen counters with all kinds of foods from real food to deserts and everything in between. There was no doubt in my mind those two loved to cook. Remmy was always cooking things for dinner too. It felt nice to have home cooked meals again instead of something out of a box or a fast food restaurant.
Emerson had pulled me over to the couch, making small talk since he could tell my mood wasn't the brightest. Out of the three of them, Emerson knew me the longest and most. Remington was just my soulmate I'd met about last mouth. Surprisingly it didn't take long to let that settle, it just seemed normal to me. Sebastian on the other hand had only been around me once and didn't say a word to me, just nodded.
Him and Remington were chatting and laughing as they made the food but I couldn't make out what they were saying with Emerson in my other ear. He was nonstop talking about how much he wished he could've joined Raven on her thanksgiving trip and how much he missed her deeply.
It was adorable actually, made me think they were soulbound as well but my knowledge about Raven being a vampire or not wasn't filled yet. Emerson had been head over heals about her since the day they met in 7th grade. She was his queen.
Raven wasn't big on love until we reached high school and soon found herself in love with Emerson too.
"So Lizzie. How are you and Remington?" Emerson broke me from my thoughts.
My eyes met his and I faked a smile at him. "Really good."
Emerson faked a smile back. "Right. What happened? He seems uneasy."
I sighed and kept my voice at a whisper. "The day we hung out at lunch, I left to get cokes and I guess you left too."
"Yeah I remembered I had to pick something up from a class." Emerson cut me off.
"Well..." I explained to him everything that happened between now and then. His expression softened to a genuine hurt smile.
He felt terrible. I could see it in his face. "Oh, Lizzie." He shook his head. "I'll have you guys back together like nothing happened in no time. Just give me till the end of the week to get something together." He smiled.