Die For Something (Remington Leith/ Palaye Royale/ Denis Stoff)

I didnt mean to fuck everything up

Leaving Denis's in a hurry was sort of a problem. He'd fallen asleep on me and I had to make the excuse I was going to the bathroom to get him off me.

I grabbed everything that was mine and quickly ran, careful not to wake him. The dense, cold, harse air was hitting my face, blowing my hair all around. The moment my eyes flashed red, my heart cracked.

When I looked in the mirror my eyes had turn a darker gray then they were. Something in my heart told me Remington knew. He felt it too.

I wanted nothing more then to run home into his arms and cry. He would be so disappointed and broken. Would we even recover from this?

I only did it out of spite. Pure spite and hatred.

He still hadn't told me why he kissed her, not that I'd given him a chance.

I had no where to go and the cold air was eating me alive. I had to go home to Remington. My stomach was killing me and my gums ached for blood. Two days wasn't long away from him, but enough to make me realize how much I loved him, despite what he'd done.

Forgive and forget.

A hard concept to grasp but once you did you would soon be thankful for it. It was easy to forgive but hard to forget.

My body trembled in fear and coldness when I reached my bare hand up to the door and knocked. The door soon open to Remington looking down at me, his eyes the exact shade of dark gray like mine. Tears stained his cheeks, recent tears too.

A clump formed in my throat and I wrapped my arms around his long torso. If I opened my mouth to speak the tears would devour me whole. His arms wrapped around me right away, squeezing me to his chest. His heart raced in my ear and I knew he knew. Somehow he'd seen it.

"Princess, what's wrong?" He closed the door and looked down at me.

My eyes met his. Dull and dead. The darkest gray I'd ever seen but they weren't quite black. Problem was, I couldn't tell him. I'd become mute. My lungs had closed up and I was unable to even open my mouth.

I needed a smoke to calm my nerves. Pulling out my carton of cigarettes from my back pocket, I put one to my lips and headed for the door again. His foot steps followed me, watching my every move like a hawk.

Thoughts raced my head as I lit the cigarette and took a long drag, watching as smoke slowly floated out of my lips, mixed with the cold winter air. I leaned against the red brick wall and starred out at the trees. Makeup smudged down my cheeks as the tears fell.

Remington stood at the door with his arms wrapped around himself, staring me down with worry. I turned my head so I was looking at him and blew the smoke in the opposite direction then his. He wasn't even wearing his usual makeup. 

"Please tell me what's wrong." His voice rough and full of worry.

"I'm tired of pretending to be okay." I raised the cigarette to my lips again and took a longer drag, feeling it burn my lung was a satisfying feeling. Pain made me feel alive. I needed pain to show me I wasn't an emotionless zombie.

He sighed and stepped closer to me, stopping as he watched my eyes fill with fear. "Lizzie." His voice soft. "What happened?"

My eyes burned from holding back tears and I shallowed the clump in my throat. "Please don't get mad at me."

"Princess, I won't get mad unless you keep this a secret from me." He inched closer and stood in front of me, careful to keep his distance.

After I took one last puff, I put out the butt and look at him, trying to find the right words to say that wouldn't break him and I. It wasn't working. My brain just couldn't form the words.