My ambition is attractive
My aggression isn't passive
I promise with you
The butterflies in my stomach are active
They're dancing, I'm feeling static
Wanna get closer like magnets
Your company, I've been feigning
I think I've turned to an addict
I don't get high
But looking in your eyes, I'm lifted
Can we make this tradition?
Nicki
The past few weeks in Toronto had been very interesting, and quite interesting from the life I usually lived on the island. Jade and her sisters were wilder than I though, and I quickly learned that after going to a video shoot with the three of them.
It was about three days ago, on a friday night. Jade told me that her boyfriend and his friends were shooting a little video for their song, and they needed some girls in their video. When we got there, there were plenty of teens scatter all over the place but one specific boy caught my eyes. I quickly learned that it was the same guy I'd seen when I'd arrived to school one morning, and I believed that his name was Troy.
I could remember the video shoot like it was yesterday.
He wore a pair of denim jeans and timberland boots, topping it off with a black peat coat. His hair looked freshly cut and his bare face made him look a little older than most would expect. He had thick-bushy eyebrows that sat above the most pouty eyes I'd ever seen, but he looked mysterious overall. When it was his turn to rap, he scanned through the crowd of girls and made direct eye contact with me. I watched him as he leaned over towards Jade, causing her to signal me to come closer. In my own right, I was very shy while being the new girl on the scene. I had a pretty face and a nice body, but dancing wasn't necessarily my talent.
"He wants you to be his girl for the video, all you have to do is dance". I sighed, shaking my head. "Jade I really cannot dance, I would much rather stand on the side or something". She rolled her eyes, "This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance, you better take it while you have it. Just move your hips to the beat and focus, your body will do everything else. I nodded my head, slowing walking over to Troy.
He stared at me, but said no words whatsoever. The director cued the music, causing Troy to place his hands on my hips. The beat was sort of fast, but also had a sexual feeling. I stared at Troy, enjoying the feeling of our bodied close together. I moved my hip to the beat, as told, beginning to grind against him as the beat fastened. Eventually, I got comfortable enough and allowed my body to move freely. I disregarded the fact that we were basically dry humping in a room full of people, until I felt a hard smack on my ass once he ended his rap.
The music ended and I began to walk away, but he quickly pulled me back. "What's your name"? I watched him as he spoke, analyzing the way he pronounced each syllable deeply with his canadian accent. "U-uh It's Onika, but you can call me nicki". He nodded his head, "Let me get your number Nicki".
He pulled his phone out of his pocket, handing it to me to enter my number. I quickly entered the nine digit number into, placing the phone back in his hand. He nodded his head but showed no away, so I figured that was just my signal to walk away. Without saying another word, I walked over to Jade, who was having a conversation with some girl she hung out with.
The bell rung knocking me out of my thoughts, as usual. The students and the class began to leave, unfortunately Jade and her sisters decided to skip school today. As I began to pack my things up, Shaun walk up to me with a huge smile on his face. "Hello Shaun". He pulled me in for a quick hug, "Hello Nicki".
I made sure I'd grabbed all of my things and headed towards the door, while Shaun followed closely behind. "How you been Nicki"? I shrugged, "I've be fine". I walked towards the school's exit, being met with the Black Jeep Wrangler that Troy usually drove. We'd been talking on the phone for a little bit, but I'd had yet to see him since the video shoot.
"You wanna go get something to eat or something"? Shaun asked as Troy walked up, wrapping his arms around my waist. "She cant, we're going on a date". I glanced at Shaun, but allowed Troy to pull my body away towards his truck. A part of me felt bad because I left him standing there, but most of me was excited about actually going out with Troy.
His personality was a bit standoffish, but I could deal with it. Since the day I first laid eyes on him, I felt in love. I knew that it was too quick to be feeling this way, but I seriously couldn't help it. Its like, when I'm with him- the butterflies in my stomach are active.
Eventually, we were leaving the school and began on a 20 minute ride that seemed like forever. We rode in silence and made no gestures, except for the few glances I sent his way. I was attracted to every bit of this boy, especially the way he always look so serious. His eyes stayed on the rode, while only one hand controlled the steering wheel. The other. rested near mys eat but was still a few centimeters away from contact with my bare thigh that showed through the rips of my jeans.
He slowly stopped the truck, cutting the engine off. I didn't even realize we were on some sort of a mountain top until he called my name, knocking me out of my thoughts. "Nicki". I quickly turned my head, looking into his direction. "We're here'.
I nodded my head, watching him unbuckle his seatbelt. "We're getting out"? He shook his head, "No, I just want to chill and talk up here for a minute. I use this as a chill out spot from time to time. His wrangle was two-seated, allowing open space in the back of the seats. He quicklly hopped over the seats, patting the space next to him for me to come and join.
I hesitatnty rose from my seat, attemptingt to hop over the seats. Noticing my slight struggles, he grabbed my hand and helped me over the seat. I took a seat across from him, slightly pulling down my shirt that had lifted up in my attempt to hop.
In the beginning, he said no words, which created the awkward silence that had already been between us for the past 30 minutes- or so. I stared back at him as he stared back at me, and I guess he could tell it was becoming awkward for me, so he spoke up. "How you liking the city so far"?
I shrugged my shoulders, "It's beautiful, but it's still not home. I miss the island a lot". He nodded his head, "Lil caribbean girl miss de' island". We both shared a laugh at his attempt to imitate a caribbean accent. It was the first time I'd even seen him smile, but it all died very quickly.
The joke only lasted for a short amount of time, which left us in silence once again. We were just staring, but this time he didn't rely on words to break the silence. As if it was all happening to fast, he placed his hands on my face, pulling me closer to him. His soft lips connected with mine, and I openly allowed his tongue entrance into my mouth.
I was hesitant, quite unsure if I even wanted to lose my virginity at this moment. With doubt, I pulled away and shyness took over me. "This your first time"? I nodded my head. He placed his hand under my chin, "I got you, I promise". For some reason, I nodded my head- trusting him.
He began to kiss my lips again, and for the second time, I allowed his tongue entrance into my mouth. His moved from mouth, down to my neck, placing wet kisses on any skin that was exposed. Slightly nudging my shoulder, he signaled for me to lay back. I followed the directions given, laying on my back while he climbed on top.
From there, everything began to move so fast. The ripped jeans that once covered my legs were now off, and so were my red-laced panties that I'd wore. The pain that I'd been feeling for the past two minutes was beginning to turn into pleasure, as I watched him move up and down on top of me. For some reason I felt a special connection, safe when he was inside of me...
---------------------------------------
I stood against the brick wall of the school, hoping that Troy would be somewhere around. School had been out for about thirty minutes and I hadn't seen Troy or my girls all day. After what happened a few days ago, I hadn't seen to him and I was quite worried. Jade had been claiming she'd been busy, so I was hoping that we could actually hang out today.
Looking up from my phone, I glanced at Jade and her sisters and she walked out the school buildings. I heard nothing but snickers as the girls walked toward me, but I paid it no attention. "Why you standing out here", Jade asked as she looked me up and down. "Waiting for my boyfriend, where have yall been"?
Jade and her sisters must've thought I was joking or something because they all bursted out laughing. "You're boyfriend? And who would that be"?
I rolled my eyes, "Troy.. who else"? The laughing continued, and I began to feel embarrassed. Jade pulled he phone from her purse, going to her videos. "So... he's your boyfriend"? She flipped the screen over, showing a girl from the school on her knees. As the camera zoomed in a bit, the girl began to somebody's dick and I could hear Troy's voice telling her to keep going, while he used her hand to push her hair out of her face.
My emotions took over me because I felt some sort of betrayal. I was hurt that he would even do something like that, and allow people who I thought were my friends, laugh in my face as if I was a joke. I didn't know what else to do, so I ran in the direction of my house.
Along the way I cried and cried, but I didn't stop running until I began to pass the store that a lot of people usually hung out at. I spotted Troy's Black Jeep Wrangler, and somehow felt the need to confront him. I quickly walked towards, the car- where he stood along with some boys he hung out with. I could imaging that I looked a mess because I'd been crying, but I couldn't help the way I was feeling.
"Troy really. How could you fuking do that"? He looked me up and down, taking s ip of whatever was in the cup that rested in his hands.
Grabbing my wrist, he pulled me away from the guys, throwing me against the car. Within seconds, I felt the sting of his hand across my face, knowing that it would probably leave some sort of bruise. "Don't fucking come embarrassing me like that ever again. Go the fuck home".
I didn't know how to feel when those words came out of his mouth, because deep down inside- I liked this boy so much. Not looking back as he pushed my shoulder to leave, I headed towards my mom's house with tears still running down my cheeks..
I had about ten more minutes until I arrived home, but deep down- I felt hopeless. Realizing I was alway seeking out love from all the wrong places, I felt like I didn't deserve to be here anymore. My father left me before I could even get to know him, my mother left me when all I ever wanted was her love, my papa and nana left me, and now Troy. I no longer wanted to be left again.
Not really thinking about my actions, I walked into the middle of the street, disregarding if any cars were coming or not.
I just wanted to be gone...
If yall haven't realized, the plot of the story derives from the actual movie: HONEY TRAP.
If you haven't watched it yet, check the movie out on Netflix.