It is so easy to take something you have had all your life for granted.
Caitlynn Clark and Gregory Cambell had been together from the time they could remember, their parents were best of friends and they had been there for each other from the time they were in diapers. When Caitlynn's parents passed away in a car accident, Gregory's parents who were also Caitlynn's godparents took her in and from then on they were inseparable, at school they stood by one another, Gregory being a serious and timid child was always bullied and Caitlynn who was loud and party animal; always stood by him and got into lot of trouble for him. Being in a close knit community in Kirkwall, Scotland everyone knew they would eventually end up together.
They shared their first of everything with each other, when they were together they didn't need anyone else or noticed anyone else, they went out together, they partied and got wasted together, they cried and laughed together, so naturally Caitlynn thought when they were done with school he would join his dad in the family business of gardening and they could be together forever, but Gregory always wanted to get out from the town. He couldn't wait to get to Westminster, where he had applied for his medicine degree and when he got accepted, he was packing to leave in a heartbeat, he naturally assumed that Caitlynn would follow him to the end of the world and they would be together forever, but she was too attached to Kirkwall, she could never leave the place she was born and where she grew up, she had too many memories of her parents there and she wouldn't trade them for anything.
The weekend he was supposed to leave, he extended it so that they could go take one last road trip to Scotland before he left. They rented a cottage and stayed in making love for most of the day. When the weekend was over they came back and Gregory left for college and Caitlynn decided to go to a community college to take her degree in literature.
A few weeks had passed and Caitlynn and Gregory spoke almost everyday, they missed each other terribly and nothing was as it was before. One morning when she got up feeling like she had the worst hangover she rushed to the bathroom and puked. She looked pale and felt sick and that was when she realised she was late. As in very late. She peed on the stick but test came negative, for a while she was relieved but something still didn't fit right, she went to the clinic to consult, they took a series of test and learned she was pregnant.
Caitlynn couldn't tell Gregory over the phone so she insisted him to come home for the weekend. And when she announced that they were going to have a baby Gregory, like a perfect gentleman stood by in her decision to keep the baby and they eloped and got married at a chapel in Scotland. They didn't care what people said, they didn't care they didn't get the marriage they had dreamed they would have, they didn't care about anything other than they loved each other and they were going to have a baby.
Caitlynn had shifted to Westminster to be with Gregory, even though she didn't like the place one bit, she couldn't and didn't want to stay away from him anymore. He promised they would shift back when he was completes his practice and that was good enough for her.
With the Pregnancy of their first child, a girl, they had decided that they would name her Violet Emily Cambell, Caitlynn got very busy with her life, all of sudden she had a reason to take care of herself and be healthy, she read books after books on pregnancy and on what to expect. And before she knew it she was jolting down milestone of their two year old Violet and was pregnant with their second child, this time it was a boy and Caitlynn couldn't wait for him to be born; frankly she was a little tired of seeing pink everywhere. In her defence pink was never her favourite colour but pink was one of the few words Violet said so she had to give in. After all the little cherub could get away with murder with her cuteness.
Caitlynn couldn't be happier, With Matthew Eric Cambell being born, they need more space and Gregory's mother missed being with her grandkids so they shifted back to their hometown and brought the house Caitlynn had grown up in. She had the most perfect life, the most perfect husband, the most perfect home for her children. She couldn't ask for more.
But things were a little different for Gregory, unlike Caitlynn, he hated this small town. He only shifted back to make her happy, but he was compromising much more than he had bargained for. Things and his priorities had changed, deep within he knew he couldn't keep compromising just to bring a smile on Caitlynn's face, he could have been the best surgeon if he had stayed in Westminster and so he had made a choice, he started juggling from Kirkwall to Westminster and Caitlynn got too busy to notice how they were drifting apart.
On their tenth year anniversary Caitlynn Cambell was determined to bring the old spark back into their obsolete marriage. She had hired a baby sitter to stay at the house for the weekend and they were to take a road trip to Scotland, they had been putting off for ages. When Caitlynn went snooping around in his study area to find out if he had any prior appointments for the weekend, that was when she found out what surprise he had planned for their tenth year anniversary.
D.I.V.O.R.C.E
Caitlynn read and re-read the papers, she couldn't believe this was happening to them. They might have been married for ten years but had known each other and were partners since forever and now he didn't want any thing to do with her. He wanted to leave her and the kids. Tears fell from her eyes when she thought about them, Ian their third child was almost two and Matt and Violet were seven and ten respectively and he loved the kids, she wouldn't doubt it for a second.
"You sure you don't want to give it a last try?" Gregory asked her, Caitlynn had announced in front to the kids about the trip they were going to take that weekend, but there was a slight change of plan, they were taking the kids along and not going alone as she had initially planned the surprise.
"You want to cancel the trip all together?" Caitlynn asked frustrated. Gregory gave her a questioning look and laughed, years had passed but she was still the most short tempered woman known to mankind. "Look Greg, I too have a life, if you haven't noticed, I have a deadline to meet, I'm supposed to finish at least two chapters and send it to my editor, but this trip is also equally important for me, I have to be back by Monday and I have been putting this off for the last six years, you out of all people should know how much we want to get done with this trip, so that we can all sit down and talk." Gregory knew for a fact that "talk" was never a good thing. She turned towards the kids who were having their lunch and said "Your daddy and I have something important to tell you guys."
"Are we going to have another brother or sister mum?" Violet asked ready to throw a tantrum if it was true, she was okay with Matt but when they had said she was going to be a big sister again she went all "Elsa" and wanted to ice everything in her way. Caitlynn smiled at the memory and looked at Gregory who was also waiting for an answer.
"Not in a million years sweetie! You guys have to wait and be patient till the trip is over, I bet its something you guys can never guess." Caitlynn said and walked off. Gregory was on his heals right behind her and caught her arm to stop her. He had never seen her so furious, he let go of her arm and asked.
"Caitlynn what's wrong with you?" He asked trying to keep his voice down.
"What do you mean hon? The sooner they know, the better for them." she said in a mock seriousness. "We live in a small town, sooner or later someone is going to stand on their face to find out what really happened between us, or rather what did not happen between us from the time Ian was born." Caitlynn muttered bitterly getting closer to Gregory being careful that the kids don't hear her.
"Caitlynn Cambell!" Gregory was stunned.
"Its Caitlynn Clark from now on." she said removing her arms from his grasp. Gregory gulped, she couldn't possible know, how the hell did she know? He wondered.
"What's gotten into you? Is there something you want to tell me?" he snapped.
"I don't know Gregory is there something you want to tell me?" she snapped back. He took a step back, he couldn't even remember her ever calling him Gregory, he was always Greg to her, her Greg.
"Seeing that you still don't have the nerve to tell me, I'm gonna go ahead and tell you that I know. I have seen it in your study. Now do you want to tell me something?" Caitlynn asked bitterly, wiping the tears off her face, Gregory ranked his hair in frustration and took a step back from her. All this made perfect sense to him now, she had found the divorce papers.
"Yeah that's what I thought so too. Tell the kids I would come and tuck them in a minute, I just need to gather myself." Caitlynn walked off without waiting for his response.
The next morning she woke up before him, she had been a light sleeper from the time Violet was born, but that morning she got up before him as she couldn't get sleep in the first place. Gregory woke up to an empty bed, he sighed and went to the bathroom and came out after his morning rituals. He went to look for her, she was in the kitchen preparing sandwiches for the trip. No matter how much they had drifted apart he still could see how beautiful she is, her brunette hair was all held up into a messy bun like she normally preferred, her shirt was unbuttoned and the olive tank top hugged her like a second skin. She normally wore shorts but that morning she was in her cargo pants. He noticed that she had lost weight and her skin was pale, he remember how rosy it always had been.
He had not intentionally went looking for love in Beth, but they were two lonely people who didn't want to be alone anymore. Beth was a widow and what had started out as hanging out together ended up in something much more than that. With time they fell in love and moved in together just after Ian was born. He wanted to come clean with her from the moment he fell in love with Beth, but he couldn't leave Caitlynn and the kids and she was right when she said he didn't have the nerve to present the divorce papers. He had not signed them and he had been putting it off as much as he could.
Gregory came and stood beside her, she noticed him and moved away from the counter. He held her hand to stop her from running away.
"I hate that I'm doing this to you Caity, we have been together forever." Gregory said truthfully.
"Then don't do this! Don't give up on us?" Caitlynn pleaded, the hand that Gregory had held to stop her now loosened its grip and when she looked at him she could see him being uneasy so she shook her head. Right then they both knew that she was the only one willing to fight for this marriage. She thought it was unfair to people to live without someone to love and Gregory had found love elsewhere, he shouldn't have to pay for wanting to be happy and loved again. She thought may be she didn't deserved to be loved.
"But that's not what you really want is it Greg? I'm sorry I broke, everything is going to be fine. Lets just get over with this trip, come back home and talk to the kids that you are going to shift to Westminster for good and that I cant because of my commitments and the kid's school and friends and what not. And promise them you would come and meet them every month even if it is for a day. You owe them your time Gregory, you cant take away the daddy they love and admire everyday." she said closing the basket that was now fully packed.
"I have to let you know that I didn't plan on this, I don't want to end things between us on a sore note."
"You ended it when you decided to make love to another woman Greg, everything after that seize to make sense to me after that." she said looking him in the eye.
"I am really so sorry.."
"No you are not, and lets not pretend that you are. Besides no one should be sorry for wanting to be happy. It just hurts when I realize that I and my kids weren't enough to make you happy." saying that Caitlynn walked off before the water works started. She didn't know why all this was making her bitter, all her life she had not once spoke anything to hurt him and it was only him that she had eyes for, she couldn't understand why was it any different for him.
the reached Scotland and went to places they had been when they went on their honeymoon. Caitlynn had planned and jolted down every places they had seen and it was more painful than she had anticipated. She couldn't wait to get over with the trip.
"I cant believe we have to leave tomorrow mum, cant we stay here longer. We were just getting friendly with the rabbits." Violet complained.
"Yeah mum, cant you cancel or postponed the meeting to the next day." Matt piped in.
"I have been postponing every thing for such a long time kids, I promise I'm going to take a long vacation and we all could pick up where we left off. The next time we come here we can stay longer and we will leave only when you kids want to leave." Caitlynn looked at Gregory, her eyes filling up, she hated that she had to lie to the kids, in reality she didn't have any meeting whatsoever, but she couldn't stay a minute longer pretending that they are one big happy family.
"I would never want to leave mum." Matt said smiling and displaying his broken tooth.
"Neither would I Matt." Caitlynn look at Gregory and said, she brushed past him and ruffling Matt's hair on the way, she could only pretend and hold her tears up to a certain extend.
Later that night when the kids had fallen asleep and Caitlynn realised that this was probably going to be their last night together. She sat on the bed biting her nails, a habit she couldn't get rid of no matter what changed. She saw Gregory get inside the room, shut the door and went to the bathroom to get changed. When he got out he came towards the bed and took his pillow and started walking towards the couch and threw them there and he took fast step towards her, where she stood looking outside the window, he stood next to her.
"How did this happened to us?" Caitlynn heard him ask.
When he held her arms and stepped in closer to her just heartbeats apart, he could see how sad her eyes were. He knew that he had lost all rights to justify for his actions but he couldn't help but lean closer until their lips met. He could feel her respond the kiss. No matter how sincere he looked at the moment she couldn't forgo the moment he said that he wanted a divorce, he ruined everything and now he was kissing her and playing games with her head like he wanted to go back to pretending like everything was fine, that they were going to be fine. she didn't know if her heart was strong enough to withstand another heart break, he was the only one she had ever loved and at that moment looking so sincere she couldn't help but hold him back and return the kiss. All this while when Gregory was unresponsive to her advance, it didn't hurt her as much as it was hurting her right now. Caitlynn knew that she was seeing and feeling things which she wanted to see and feel. She broken the kiss and gently stepped away from his embrace, all she could do was wipe away the damn tears and keep up the act. He realized he had stepped into her personal boundary so he started to walk back to the couch.
"You think you had me fooled for five years, right Gregory?" Caitlynn asked him. He stopped in his tracks and turned around and face her, she smirked and looked right into his eyes.
"How many times should I have to say that I'm sorry Caity, we drifted apart and---" Gregory said but Caitlynn held a hand to stop him from speaking.
"It doesn't matter." she said turning away. she refused to face him, show him how all this was killing her inside.
"What do you mean?" he asked coming closer, sitting on the bed facing her. She knew what she was about to say would hurt him, but she was done thinking what he feels.
"January 22nd 2009, was the first night I realised there was a certain someone else warming your bed. When you messaged your love that you couldn't wait to see her the next day and that you loved her. You love her? I don't know what's the sad part Greg, you never saying me those words or you saying those words to some other woman that's not me." she turned around to face him now. He was stunned, she knew the whole time and yet she stayed. She didn't stop there. "And if my calculations are right that this shit has been going on for six almost seven years, right after our Matt's birth. How naïve of me to think that we could work this out, as long as you came back to me, to us, to the family you built. We had Ian after that and now that I think of it, its disgusting me, I feel sick that just thinking about the times I thought we made love was nothing more than sex to you." she said with tears flowing from her eyes.
"Caity, baby.." he came closer to her and she didn't move, his hands went to rest on her waist. She flinched at the contact, how that small gesture used to be enough for them to end up in bed making love, now it felt like he and his hands belonged to someone else. Her hands rested on his shoulders, her fingers graced his face, tears were filling her eyes but she was just too numb to feel anything anymore.
"I cant believe you have known about us the whole time." he whispered wiping away her tears.
"I might have been an emotional fool Gregory but my brain still works. You might not have noticed but you don't look at me like you used to, we don't speak until and unless its absolutely necessary. We share the same bed but our bodies don't touch even by mistake. I knew everything but what you didn't know is that I would have let you cheat on me till death do us apart but you choose to leave, why Greg?" she asked she was not scared to cry anymore because she was promising herself this was the last time she's going to break down in front of him. "Say it Greg, you have to say it, we may not be what we used to be, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't come clean at least now.. Please.. For old times sakes?"
"Because I don't love you anymore Caity and you deserve someone much better than me. Don't you want to be loved? To be kissed? To be in a relationship that is not based on lies and deceit?" Gregory asked her, she simple shook her head.
"No, I don't want all that if you are not the one.. I will never get to feel them anymore and you are the reason Gregory Cambell. You were all I had and you were all I wanted but it was never the same for you, You have ruined me Greg, you have caused so much of pain for the last seven years I have been hoping you'd come back to me but you chose her over me. And that I will remember till my last breath and even after that." Caitlynn said wiping her tears away she walked back to the window. After a few moments she heard a soft click of the door and turned around to see the room was empty.
Hey you..
So this is my second book, hope you guys like it.
Thank you for reading, voting and commenting..
- Nish-R.