Walking furiously towards an unknown destination, with your head high up in the clouds in the middle of a thick forest, is quite a dangerous task. Only if I had realized it sooner, I would have seen the gruesome ravine below. Just as I was about to plummet down hard into the ravine, a hand reached out to grab my wrist just in the nick of time. Turning around to see who that would be, I saw Haytham with a horrified expression in his face.
"Are you trying to kill yourself?" he shouted, making a few birds scatter from their cosy nests.
Thank God that it was raining or he would have noticed my tears. I refused to give him a vocal reply, fearing my voice would croak, so I ended up shaking my head merely. His eyes and grip softened, as he gazed on my pained expression, not knowing if I was hurt physically or emotionally.
We walked in absolute silence, with him leading the way. The rain had ceased and it was merely a drizzle, something which would have been enjoyable if I hadn't been on such a mood. We arrived at a clearing where he made arrangements for me to sleep and went to hunt for food. I didn't try to escape this time as I knew he would definitely find me. Over dinner, we had noticed that the silence was getting quite awkward and someone needed to break it. But who? Certainly not me. He was the one at fault here.
I wonder what he was thinking precisely. How long would it take for him to apologize?
I sat on the grass, warming my numb hands over the fire he built, gazing at the stars. A few crickets hummed along, making the night a cosy one, despite the chilly winds rampaging about. He sat beside me, rubbing his hands to create friction.
"Such a cold night, would you like something warm to eat, Jane?" he asked casually, trying to play cool. I merely shook my head, letting him know that I wasn't going to talk with him.
Not till I get an apology.
He seemed to notice my indifferent and stubborn behaviour and that seemed to irk him. He started pulling the grass from the ground and throwing it into the fire. When that went on for quite a while, he let out an audible sigh and turned his head towards me.
"Listen, Jane, I didn't mean to say that. It was on the spur of the moment. I have great respect for General Summers."
I shook my head again, letting him know that I didn't believe a single word he said.
"Jane, silence does not really solve a conflict. Your father was a role model to me"
"Stop your incessant lying please. I don't want to believe that my Father was a role model to someone like you"
"Someone like me?"
"An assassin. You kill for money, your loyalty lies with the highest bidder and you wouldn't even mind killing your own kinship!"
Suddenly he stood up and looked at me, those ochre eyes forbearing a sense of imminent darkness and danger.
"What do you know about me? Some things in this world must be protected, even if it means getting your hands dirty. Some things can only be seen through a tainted eye."
His fierce reply caught me off guard.
"What do you mean, Haytham?" I asked, never breaking my steady eye-contact. I must not let him know that I am intimidated. He, on seeing my stubborn and indifferent counter, let out an exasperated sigh.
"Never mind. It wouldn't matter to you."
He looked above to the stars, his eyes glistening with water.
Maybe, he was saying the truth?
"Haytham. "Was my quiet whisper.
"Yes, Jane?" was his equally quiet reply.
"Can I have something warm to eat?" I said, hoping that this topic would not be brought back for now. He nodded and went to fetch me something, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I accused him of something when I had no prior information about it. This time, I was wrong. Maybe I will get a chance to make it right, one way or the other.
It's been days since I've been travelling with Haytham. Maybe a week or two have passed. Haytham isn't really a delightful or charming companion. The tension between us had toned down considerably, but that didn't mean it was any better. Occasionally he will ask me a few questions like if I wanted anything to eat or if I required rest. Obviously, he was better in the field of giving attention to women than Al was, but he was still in the same field as Al when it came to any other conversation.
Maybe that's why he was named the silent assassin.
"Do you need anything to eat?" he asked me, with the same monotonous tone with which he would ask me all of his other questions.
"Do you not know of any other questions besides those which concern my welfare?"
His eyes grew wide with surprise after listening to my question.
"Are you still angry about the incident which happened before?"
"I would not say I am angry about it"
"Then, what may be troubling you?"
"Your lack of conversation is?"
A lighter shade of crimson rose to his smooth and fair skin, bringing colour to an artwork by itself. His perfect jaw line could be seen as his lips were drawn shut together. Finally, after regaining composure, he answered with a constrained tone,
"I never intended to"
I stifled a smile. He must have thought I was hurt by the fact that he wasn't conversing with me. But that wasn't the case. I shook my head and said,
"I know, please be at ease. I just think travelling would be better if there was conversation"
"What should we talk about, then?"
Oops. I haven't thought of that! And why is he having such an earnest look?
"Erm... how about the story of you becoming an assassin? Since you said I wouldn't understand before, I want to understand."
He looked flustered for a second but immediately replied,
"I'm afraid I can't really speak about that. Shall I ask you a question instead?"
He still has his carefully guarded walls around me. Maybe this will help break off the tension.
I nodded, giving him permission with an almost visible smile.
"I noticed that you are running away from the Capital. Won't your mother be worried if you was gone for such a long time?"
My light smile vanished without a trace. Noticing my silence and dire expression, he realized he had ventured into another taboo topic.
"Could it be that you're an orphan?"
Orphan.
A painful smile crossed my lips as I remembered Mother's smiling face while I played in the garden. I used to collect chrysanthemums and give it to her as she made a laurel with them. Finally she placed them on my head and she would say,
"Now, there's a princess- my princess"
"Jane?"
"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I was lost in my own world. Yes, I'm an orphan. The person who looks after me is Mrs. White. But do not worry; I had already said my goodbyes to her."
Haytham looked at me, his ochre eyes shining, with a sorrowful expression.
"Don't you miss home?"
Home. That was something which I had long lost, forever gone. It was gone along with Father and Mother, into a realm which I can enter only when I take my last breath.
"Home, that was never my home to begin with. I don't belong there. I'm like a migratory bird. I've lived life trying to not be part of things, just passing by. There was nothing much to do after they passed away, anyway"
"Ah, but there must be some place which you must call home"
"There was a place, which I had visited along with Mother and Father when I was very little. It was a hill, from which you could see the entire Capital in the centre and Bristol towards its right, and towards the left, the town of-"
"Arcanecia?"
"Yes, precisely!"
"I know where that place is, it is not far from here."
"Really?!"
Could I really be able to convince him into letting me visit it?
"Yes, if you want, I can take you there"
Oh my! Problem solved.
"I would never ask for any other pleasure" I said, finally letting him see a smile- the smile of nostalgia.