On Wednesday, Bella had an okay day at school and at the office but after they left work Derek stopped by Emily's apartment. JJ was with them. Bella put on a brave face and went in but before she got to the stairs she had a panic attack. She started crying really bad, her breathing got heavy and Derek knew he had to get her out of there so they locked the door and went to the car. She took a while to calm down but eventually she did. The worst part was that it was Wednesday and she had to go see the shrink. Bella sat on the back with Penelope while JJ was on the front with Derek. When Bella saw where Derek parked the car she started crying again and kept saying she was not going in. Derek carried her inside as she cried and begged to go home. The doctor called her in and she would not let go of Morgan so doctor, Joanna Huff, let him go in with her. The woman asked about why she got there crying already and he told her everything that happened. Bella cried the entire time and just said she wanted to go home, nothing more. The shrink gave her a notebook and explained she wanted Bella to use it as a journal, and that like that she wouldn't have to talk but write and it might be easier. Bella didn't even move to get the journal. She just looked away so Derek got it and they left.
"Is it always like this?" JJ asked as they buckled up to leave.
"Yes" Morgan said looking at Bella sobbing on the back with Garcia.
"I wanna go home" the girl cried.
"We are going home" Morgan said serious. JJ could see he was upset.
"Hey" JJ said getting him to look at her. "She's like this. Emily told me once that she hates shrinks and she just doesn't talk at all." JJ said.
"I know" Derek said. "I'm not mad at her" he said. He was mad with the fact that he had to take her there, mad that he didn't have a choice.
"I know you're not. But you're worried" JJ said.
"Well of course I am worried" he said. "Just look at her" he said and started driving. Morgan absolutely hated seeing Isabella cry. He always felt like he just wanted to grab her and run and make everything that bothered or hurt her go away. And he hated the fact that he couldn't.
They stopped to drop JJ off and then went home. When they got to the house Bella was asleep. Derek carried her inside and placed her on the couch. Garcia showered and then sat with the girl while he showered. About an hour later Bella woke up and sat with them to watch tv. Later She showered, had dinner and then the doctor stopped by. The woman saw the girl's back and it was really healing great. She showed Garcia and Morgan exactly what to do and said she wanted to see the girl in 10 days for a check-up. Bella cried a little bit when the doctor cleaned the clover and around it.
The woman was happy about the improvements and left. Bella stayed on the couch with them and soon fell asleep.
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The first day in Paris was hard for Emily. She wasn't very sure about going out so she stayed inside the hotel room all day.
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(Thursday)
Derek was talking to JJ about Doyle and about how Bella was doing when Hotch walked in and said they had a case in Montana. Derek wanted to text Bella but JJ suggest not.
"She'll be upset if I don't. Emily always texted her" he said.
"If you do she'll be upset at school. You know that. Let her know from Penelope when she's already here" JJ said and Derek agreed. He knew Bella would probably get nervous and he was scared she would call crying begging to go home.
.
Around 3:20, Garcia texted Bella telling her to get on the bus with Gavin because Derek was busy. Bella didn't want to so Penelope talked to Hilary and the woman ended up dropping Bella off at the BAU. So after a while Bella arrived. She had been feeling really nervous the entire ride.
"Hi munchkin" Garcia said giving her a hug after she walked out of the elevator. "How was school?"
"Fine" Bella said. "Why did I come with Hilary today?" She asked.
"They went on a case" Garcia said a bit scared of the girl's reaction.
"And no one told me?" Bella asked as her eyes filled with tears.
"We didn't want you to be scared at school, honey" Garcia said and wrapped Bella in a hug again as she saw the girl was about to cry. "I'm sorry" Penelope said.
"Where did they go?" Bella asked pushing her tears away.
"Montana" Garcia said letting go of the hug.
"Is it dangerous?" Bella asked.
"They'll be alright, bunny. Don't worry" Penelope said wiping Bella's tears. "Come on. Come to the conference room with me" she said and they walked there.
They stayed at the office till 10:30. Bella was getting really tired and Penelope didn't want the girl to sleep in there so she took Bella to her house. Bella felt weird going back there after such a long time but she always loved Penelope's apartment. She had a hard time falling asleep but exhaustion took over and she fell asleep.
.
The next day, Garcia dropped Bella off at school and headed to work. Bella had agreed to go to choir that day so Penelope told her to go to Hilary's house after school. The day went on fine, Bella was nervous to go to choir but it went fine.
At Hilary's house she tried to distract herself. She knew that if she started thinking too much she would freak out. So she did her homework, played games, played piano, played with the dog, helped Hilary cook dinner, she did a bunch of things and she felt like it helped.
Penelope went to pick her up at 9 and they headed to Garcia's house. Derek had been texting Bella all day but at night he called to make sure she was okay. The girl was happy to hear his voice.
"When will you come back?" She asked him.
"In a day or two I think" he said.
"Okay" Bella said relieved. She felt okay with Garcia but she only truly felt safe with him.
"I'll see you soon, princess" he said.
"I love you" Bella said.
"I love you too. Bye" Derek said and hung up.
"How about a shower now?" Garcia said.
Bella showered and then Penelope changed the girl's bandage which went way better than both had expected.
.
On Saturday, Bella was not very happy to go to the office but that changed when Derek go back around 11am. JJ suggested going to the movie theater with the kids and even Hotch agreed on it. So everyone, but Rossi, went to watch Kung fu panda 3. Everyone had a great time. Bella was a bit nervous in the beginning but as the movie went on she relaxed and had a great time too. Once it was over everyone headed home. Since Bella seemed to be in such a great mood Derek decided to stop at Emily's apartment again. He knew that sooner or later she would have to go in.
"What are we doing here?" Bella asked as he parked in front of the building.
"We need to get somethings so we can finish your room" Morgan told her and she stayed quiet. "Come on we won't be long" he said and got out of the car. Penelope got out too but Bella didn't even unbuckle. Derek opened her door and said "come on, I promise it won't be long"
"No" Bella said as her eyes filled with tears.
"Baby girl, it's okay" Derek said.
She shook her head no and said "I'm not going" as a few tears fell.
"Bella, come on, pumpkin. Just try" Garcia said.
"No. I'm don't wanna go" Bella said upset.
"Bella" Derek said.
"IM NOT GOING" Bella yelled and just cried.
"Come on Bell" Derek said as he went to unbuckle her.
"No!" She cried.
"Just 10 minutes inside. Please. You have to at least try" Derek said. He knew she needed to go in and process things in order to really get through it.
"No" she pushed his hand away.
"I'm gonna take you in if you don't come" he said now serious.
"No you're not" she pushed him away again.
"Yes I will" he said finally unbuckling her. He went to pick her up and she pushed him off.
"Stop it" she yelled.
"Come here" he said trying to pick her up again.
She pushed him and yelled "leave me alone! You're not my dad!"
Derek suddenly just stopped.
He knew he wasn't her dad. He knew that. But he felt like he wanted to be something like it and hearing her say that just broke his heart.
"Let's go home" he told Penelope. They got inside the car.
"Derek" Penelope whispered feeling bad. She could see he was hurt.
He just ignored her and drove home.
At home things just got worse. Bella refused to even look at Derek and Penelope. The girl was quiet the rest of the day and would only nod and shake her head. She laid down to sleep between Derek and Garcia in his room because they still had not finished hers. She laid there and felt like she was going to explode. Her head was hurting and she could feel her heart beating fast. She laid there and took as much as she could but then she just cried.
And cried really bad.
"What's wrong, monkey?" Garcia asked sitting up.
"I don't feel so good" Bella just cried and cried.
Derek sat up and put his hand on her chest. He felt her heart beating fast and he could see her breathing heavily.
"She's having a panic attack" he said.
"Turned the light on" he told Penelope as he pulled Bella to his lap.
"It's okay. You're gonna be fine" he told the girl who just kept crying.
Penelope turned the light on and Bella's face was super red.
"Can you get her some water?" Derek asked and Garcia ran to the kitchen. Derek placed Bella on the edge of the bed and told her to put her head down between her legs. She did that and she started to calm down. Garcia handed the glass of water to Morgan and she sat up to drink a little bit. It took about 15 minutes for her to fully calm down. She was sitting at the edge of the bed with Penelope on her left side and Derek on the right. Both were holding her hand.
"I'm sorry" she said feeling really bad. She was trying so hard to be strong.
"It's alright. It was just a panic attack, it happens" Derek said.
"No. I don't mean this" she said looking at him and crying. "I'm sorry Uncle Morgan" she sobbed. He pulled her to his lap and gave her a big hug.
"It's alright." He said as tears filled his eyes too.
"I didn't mean to hurt you and I just... I was just scared, I didn't want to go in" she said crying.
"I know" he said understanding.
"I can go if you want me to. I'm sorry" she cried.
"It's okay honey. Calm down" he said. "You know you'll have to go in eventually"
"I know." she cried.
Penelope was just sitting there holding Isabella's hand and crying too.
"I don't wanna live like this anymore" Bella said.
"Like what?" Derek asked.
"Scared all the time" she cried.
"Oh princess" he said feeling really bad. Penelope just cried.
"Can you please help me?" Bella asked. Her little voice broke their hearts.
"Of course. Of course we can" Derek said now letting his tears fall too.
"I wanna be okay" Bella cried.
"We're gonna help you, baby. We promise" Penelope said.
"But You have to promise you'll trust us and that you'll try" Derek said. "That you'll try really hard"
"I will" Bella said.
"Alright. We're gonna do everything we can to help you. I promise you that" Derek said. "Okay?"
"Okay" Bella said still crying.
"Alright. Let's lay down" Derek said and the three laid down. Both hugged the girl. Bella slowly calmed down and they all feel asleep.