"Hi mum." I smiled tentatively, despite the unwelcoming vibe that hit me in the heart as soon as the door opened.
"Hi sweetheart, where have you been?" She asked, her voice so full of fake concern.
"I was just staying with a friend, but that's not the point," I tried to let her know I wanted to talk but she didn't seem to get the message.
"Okay, well I have to go to work soon so-"
"Mum!" I shouted, "I need to talk to you."
She raised her eyebrows but smiled anyway. "Sure, sweetie, what is it?"
I opened my mouth to talk but it seemed as if my words had just left me, I looked down at my feet on the carpeted floor of our living room and tried to think about how to tell her everything that has been going on.
"I'm colourblind." I suddenly said, in one go. "At least, I was colourblind." I hastily corrected myself, unable to look up. "Liam wasn't my soulmate."
After what seemed like a lifetime, I looked up and saw her staring at me in utter disbelief. My eyes swivelled to my dad who had just entered the room and had clearly heard what I had said and the silence was so deafening I suddenly felt so small.
"Blair, what are you talking about?" My dad said, stepping into the room.
"Liam wasn't my soulmate," I said, again. "I just went along with it because-"
I paused. "Because I was scared."
I waited for them to rush to my side and tell me that everything was going to be okay and they love me no matter what.
That didn't happen.
"So it's your fault he's dead." My mother said, her mouth pulled into a taut line.
I gasped, stepping back. The remanent of hope I was holding onto slipped out of my grasp and fell onto the red floor.
"How could you be so cruel?" My dad shouted, his eyes ablaze with anger.
I shook my head as tears began to spill down my face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I sobbed as I ran out of the house and all the way back to Harry's flat I didn't say a word. I finally had closure, and hypothetically I thought I would be walking out of my house all smiles and hugs and introducing my parents to Harry but quite the opposite had happened.
"Can't we just run away?" I sniffed, closing my eyes as I leant on Harry's shoulder.
This is becoming a cycle, bitter ending after bitter ending and it's always Harry, the one who picks me up and comforts me.
He stroked my hair and switched off the movie that had been playing in the background. "We can't just run away from our problems, Blair." He sighed.
"They hate me." I whimpered.
He didn't say anything for a while and I like that about him because he knew when to just be there for me, we sat there and it was somewhat comforting to know there was still someone here with me.
"I used to want to leave my life behind too. Create a new beginning. Be born again, a new person, completely different from before. I used to want to escape from everything I knew." Harry said into the silence.
I turned to face him, and saw how his eyes saddened as he stared out of the window. I enjoyed the comfort of his small apartment that overlooked the city, it was cluttered and messily cosy just like Harry and I felt safe more than anything.
"How did that work out?" I murmured, kissing his warm cheek.
"Well in some ways, it's the best thing because I met my soulmate," He smiled over at me although it didn't quite reach his eyes. "But in a lot of ways, I just miss my mothers cooking and my father was always working but I miss the days he would take me out to play football and I miss my little brother Josh and my sister Rosie but I know they're all doing fine without me."
"Harry," my eyebrows turned upwards as I felt so for the boy I was looking at.
"I just," he laughed a hollow laugh, "I never fitted in with my family, I was just there, you know?"
"I know." I put my hand over his and he squeezed it gratefully.
"Most of all I miss my Oscar." He smiled, "he was there for me when no one was and that was a lot of the time."
"Why don't we go visit them?" I asked.
He bit his lip, thoughtfully. "I've ignored them for so long, it wouldn't feel right."
"How do you know that for sure?" I asked, hugging him tightly.
"One day." He said.
I kissed him, lovingly as he turned to face me fully. He kissed back and I could feel the salty wetness of his tears and my own colliding together and I knew this is what it felt like to be so smitten with your significant other because we were pouring our pain into the kiss.
Our eyes are designed to see only two colours, black and white. I guess that's why they associate colour with love, when you see colour it's because everything is going to work out.
Yellow is for when I first met harry and he looked at me and I felt the sun shine in my soul after a long time of rain.
Pink was what I felt when he first spoke to me and clasped his hand around my cheek and told me I was beautiful. Pink is what my skin felt when it touched his. Pink was a pretty colour of new found love.
Green was how it felt to laugh at the silly jokes he told me and green was the happiest colour. Green was that one time he took me to the park and we ran around in the grass barefoot looking for people in love. It was what it felt like to be laughing so hard you couldn't breathe properly. Green was the first time, I fell in love.
Red was our first kiss in the movies and I was so nervous it crept up onto my cheeks. Red was when I snuck him into my house and he continued to kiss me and touch me as we tried to be quiet. Red was everything I bled for him to stay even when I told him to leave. Red was the most beautifully destroying colour of our love.
Grey was the colour I had seen before but it welcomed me back when Liam died. Grey was the colour of sorrow and guilt for him as I laid flowers on his grave and grey was the saddest colour of all.
Finally, Blue was the one who set me free. Blue were the skies of an early spring and blue was the first colour I saw in his eyes. Blue was the first painting I ever did in colour and it was the eyes of the boy who had set me free. Blue was my favourite colour.
Colours are what you see when you are united with your soulmate and they are your steps in the coming love story. I don't know if our one was going to have a happy ending but I sure as hell wanted it to.
a/n;
last chapter of this book and let me explain. being colourblind was supposed to be an euphemism for being different in terms of the person you choose to love and i dramatised it a lot but that's what i was hoping for. i wanted this to end sort of vaguely so the ending would be kinda ambiguous? i don't know but i don't think many people even read this anymore but thank you so so so much for all the comments and votes and i'm posting the epilogue soon, i know Blair and Harry never got to say "i love you" but that's how i wanted it to be because this wasn't really a love story. again, thank you and i love you all so much and you should love the person you want to love and not the person you are "supposed" to love, okay? promise me you will.
-miaaaa xxxxxxx