"Only those who are willing to see the magic will find the magic..."
“Because that’s what women want…” Alex heard his best friend say and he sighed in his agreement.
The both of them have work tomorrow yet here they are with a bottle of beer on a Tuesday night at a bar in The Fort. But tonight, Alex needed this drink and Johan was the right guy to talk to.
It was ironic how he suddenly felt ignorant on the subject of women. Women were his forte, it was his expertise. Heck, he even taught his best friends – Pao, Mickey and Johan – the moves when they were just dating their wives a long time ago.
Making a move and dating were easy for Alex but when it comes to the subject of commitment, he was no longer an expert. Serious relationships and commitments weren’t his department and here he was no longer Alexander the Great, he was simply an average joe, just like every guy out there.
“Teka nga, magkaliwanagan nga tayong dalawa…” he said, sitting up straight and facing Alex. “What’s the score, ‘Lex? Yung totoo, yung seryoso, because last week, nung birthday ni Matty, you were all cryptic sa harap naming tatlo nila Pao at Mickey. So bro, this is me, your best friend since we were in diapers, I guess I need to know what’s really going on before I can really tell you what to do… so again, what’s the score?”
Alex had to remind himself again that this was Johan and he could tell him just about every single thing without being judged. After all, he wasn’t his best friend for no reason. Johan was his best friend for all the right and wrong reasons.
“I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling for her, bro…” Alex admitted. “I-I’m…”
Just when he thought that things between him and Drei were already going smoothly, her response to Matty last week shattered him. It had slapped him in the face and for one moment there he felt as if the whole world was caving in on him.
Drei’s words were still stuck inside his head. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like they weren’t going to disappear in a snap. In those thirty days, they were something and Alex knew they both felt it. To him, they already had a mutual understanding because he wasn’t good with words. But to Drei, it was the total opposite. And he was bracing himself with a myriad of lectures and sermons from his best friend.
“You have to know that Drei is not the kind of girl who just wants to have fun…” he paused and sipped his beer. “She wants the whole commitment-relationship thing, the happy ending, the whole nine yards, the white picket fences, and all the shit that comes along with that… you get what I mean?” Alex nodded. “And what you guys have been doing isn’t enough, ‘Lex…”
Drei wasn’t the type who actually sleeps around with guys she dates. He knew it since day one that she was that girl who’s been waiting for her fairy tale to happen. And Alex knew that someone with a big heart like her deserved it.
“Women like her, they need assurance. They need to know how serious you are… especially when you told her that you wanted to give this another shot…” he continued. “Words like that, it’s huge, bro…”
“Sigurado ka?” he eyed him quizzically.
“Of course, dummy!” Johan, who had four serious girlfriends before he met Jeannie while they were in a concert back in 2005, answered him. “They’re like that… they want you to assure them, bro,” he added and then took a sip of his beer.
There was the truth. In fact, it’s been ages since he felt like this. To be emotionally and physically connected, to feel his heartbeat race whenever she smiles, and to be able to miss her while she’s away… All of this was just for one woman alone.
“So you’re telling me na dapat nag usap kami?”
“Yes. That’s how it works in ‘our average world’. And I know it sounds weird to someone like you, who last committed back in college!”
“Kahit di siya nag tanong?”
“Oo naman, dumbass! Jeez!”
“Cos I thought we we’re okay…”
“Teka nga, tell me, how far have you guys gone? I mean you know… may nangyari na ba?”
He closed his eyes for a sec and sighed.
“Yes.” But before Johan could even plaster that wide I-knew-it grin on his face, Alex stopped him. “Pero it’s not what you think, bro!”
“Really?” he narrowed his eyes on Alex.
“Really! You dirty minded asshole!” And Johan chuckled. “We just make out, if that’s what you wanna know…”
“Wow, bro!” Johan shook his head in disbelief. “The celibacy thing is just… I’m speechless! I just credit you for that, you’ve never been celibate this long!”
“Yeah, I should be a saint!” He’s never been this celibate for this long, let alone the fact the only wanted her and no one else. Yey, he thought to himself.
“I know, you’ve never been good with words when it comes to your feelings and all, but like I said, bro, you guys need to talk… yun lang naman problema mo…”
And how could he talk to her when they’ve been trying to stay clear off of each other the past few days? They weren’t talking, just casual answers but the things they’ve been doing for the past thirty days before that disappeared in thin air.
“She’s avoiding me…” he grumbled.
“Could you blame her?” Johan threw right back at him. “Eto ha, kayong dalawa ni Drei, you’ve been in that non-commitment phase… all fun and nothing serious, right?”
“True,” he agreed.
“And now that you’ve tried to make a move on her and told her that ‘I want us to give it a try’ speech, and… and… something happened to you guys again, what do you think was she expecting, bro?” Johan pointed out. “Inside her head, what you said meant alot of different things… are you guys going to play that game again? Are you guys going into a whole new different level? Ang dami niyan…”
And that’s when he got it. Drei needed the security. Drei needed him to be clear on what he meant.
“Even if Drei didn’t ask or you didn’t ask, one of you should at least clarify how you guys want this…” Johan paused, as if he was searching his brain for the right word. “This thing or whatever you guys are trying to be, you know what I’m saying?” Alex nodded. “At one point, you need to know where you guys stand… and you,” he pointed at Alex using his beer bottle. “Need to tell her where this is all going! Especially that you guys are together most of the time… and living in one house!”
“So okay, I’ll talk to her…” he sighed.
“You should!” then Johan paused and eyed him curiously. And then he gave him a smug smile. “You’re falling for her aren’t you?” Alex was suddenly silent. “I knew this would happen!” he banged the table. “I knew it!” he laughed.
“I don’t know!” He met Johan’s gaze, brows furrowed. “How would you know? I mean, paano ko malalaman?”
“Ay tanga!”
“Seryoso, hindi ko alam… basta alam ko masaya ako sa kung anong meron kami…”
“Trust me, you’ll just know… it’s all different, bro… different strokes for different folks!” Johan snickered. “You’re getting there!”
***
Drei let out an apprehensive sigh as the phone call ended. She was already on her way home on a Wednesday afternoon aboard the bus that’s been going around at The Fort. Fifteen minutes earlier, her cousin Jessica called to remind her about the Pico De Loro gift certificate that she and Alex had won last Christmas.
“Ate, you guys need to go,” Jess had said. “Sayang naman kasi eh! Gamitin niyo na ni Kuya Alex!”
The gift certificate was already expiring at the end of the month. She cursed to herself for momentarily forgetting all about it. Getting away from the city and staying there for two days and one night would be a good idea. It would be nice to run away for and just forget about everything that’s been happening to her lately. It would be nice to unwind for a bit all by herself. But then again that gift certificate was intended for two and her cousin, the ever efficient Jess, had already booked them for the weekend.
“Besides, you don’t need to worry, Ate Drei, I’ve got it all taken care of!” she remembered Jess telling her earlier and the excitement in her voice was noticeable. “All you guys need to do is find someone to look after the kids and you’re ready to go!”
Of course, there wasn’t any chance to decline this. Again, Drei sighed and closed her eyes for a bit. What was she going to do now? Is she willing to be stuck with Alex in that span of days? She groaned at the thought of it because this was the least that she wanted – to be stuck with him for the weekend.
For seven days now, they’ve been ignoring each other like a plague. All that has been, before this ignoring thing happened, just faded like dust. There was a palpable tension in the air between them when they came home after Matty’s birthday last week. And Drei knew it was her who created that gap with what she said. She knew that her answer to Matty’s questions slapped Alex right in the face. But it was the truth. The truth about their status. For almost a month, they were more than friends and they’ve been doing things like lovers do. And Drei couldn’t deny it, to herself nor to the world, that she loved every single minute of it.
She waited for this chance. God knows she did! And she wanted this. To be wanted to be wanted by this man she’s been in love with for so long. She patiently waited for this to come. And when it was finally happening, she was once again caught up in that dizzying spell with Alex that she, for a minute there, forgot to look out for herself.
They are together, in the most literal sense, they’ve been living under the same roof since July last year. And even if that kiss they shared last Valentine’s Day had somewhat brought in about some changes that were too good to be true, yet, still… They were not together. What were they? What does she want? What was all this? They never had that talk. Alex never laid out the cards nor did he set the records straight. There were no declarations or proposals. Despite how much his actions spoke louder than his words, it wasn’t enough for Drei, especially having known how they once started out.
She wanted more than actions. She wanted him to tell her where they stand. She wanted the assurance and the security that all this wasn’t just a temporary thing. She wanted him to assure her that this thing between them now wasn’t like the one they had before… that this was taking them somewhere… that this is the real thing. But he never did. Alex never did. It was like being inside this labyrinth that you don’t know which way to go and you don’t know the way out. They’ve been in that kind of situation before and it only made things worse for her. This time, she wanted to get things straight and leaving him out in the cold was the best way to knock some sense into him.
“Mom’s home!” she heard Matty say when she stepped inside the house.
The play mat was sprawled on the floor and her darlings were camping out in the living room. Matty was playing with Zooey while Manang Pilar was glued on the TV watching the last afternoon soap opera before the news program starts. Drei set her keys and her purse on top of the small cabinet in between the living room and the dining room. Then she took off her heels and set them aside.
“Say hi to Mom, Zooey,” Matty told his six month old sister, who was sitting beside him.
“Maaamaaa,” the little one said and waved her hands. And then she got to her knees and started to crawl towards Drei.
“Hey you, big girl!” Drei greeted as she kneeled down to meet her little crawler. She welcomed Zooey into her arms and smothered her with kisses as she sat down with them. “I missed you, pumpkin!” Zooey giggled and kissed her back.
It wasn’t long when Matty joined in. “And hello there, Kuya!” she said, hugging her first born. “I missed you, too! Kamusta ang school kanina?”
“School was okay, Mom.” He smiled at her. “We had a pop quiz sa Science kanina, buti na lang naka pag review ako ng notes ko kagabi…”
“Really? How did it go?”
“Score ko eight out of ten,” he grinned.
“Good job!” she kissed his forehead. “So bago tayo mag dinner, why don’t you go to your room first and ihanda mo na yung mga homeworks mo, Kuya para mamaya magawa na natin…”
“Okay,” Matty stood up and went inside his room.
Then Drei turned to Manang Pilar. “Hi Manang! Naka luto na po ba kayo ng dinner?”
“Hindi pa, hija… maghahain pa lang…” the woman answered.
“It’s okay Manang, ako na magluluto, bihis na muna ako…” Drei stood up and gave Zooey to her. “Ummm, si Alex po?”
“Nasa kwarto niyo, hindi ka ata nagpasundo ah, ilang araw ko na napapansin…” Pilar said. “Nag away na naman ba kayo?”
“Ummm hirap explain…” she cringed. “Basta!”
“Ay naku kayong dalawa talaga!” the older woman slid her a look and sighed. “Parehas matigas ang ulo, ay ewan ko na lang…”
Drei just gave her a smile. She found him sitting in his little office table when she opened the door. Slowly Alex turned his swivel chair and glanced at her.
“Hey,” he said, giving her a ghost of a smile and then returned to what he was doing.
“Hey,” she said to him while she walked towards the cabinet to get some clothes. “Looks like your busy.”
“Yeap, fixing Rob’s website,” he replied without even looking up. “Parang na hack eh.”
After getting herself a set of clean clothes, Drei made her way into the bathroom to change. The distance between them was still hanging like a dark cloud above their heads. She tried to talk herself out of it, that she couldn’t do this. Being alone with him would be such a bad idea, since her head is still in a messy state.
She couldn’t do this, but she has to. Just talking to Alex a while ago made her feel awkward. How much more if she suddenly brings up the topic about a weekend getaway? It will be more awkward especially that they’ve been pretty much keeping away from each other’s paths these past few days and trying to act okay in front of Matty. But it was getting hard, though.
Already dressed in her house clothes, a vintage tee and a pair of shorts, her face devoid of makeup, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She sucked in a breath and sighed. She could this, she told herself. She could survive two days and one night with Alex without the kids despite the tension that was continuously clogging up between them. And she was going to tell him now, at least they could have some privacy.
Alex was still on the computer when she got out. And Drei opened the drawer on her bedside table and took out the envelope that contained the gift certificates that they won last Christmas. Then she walked towards where he was.
“Umm,” she cleared her throat. “You got a minute?”
Slowly Alex turned his swivel chair to face her.
“Sure,” he said. His voice was flat and his face was deadpan. Drei straightened her back despite the fact that she was shaking inside. “What’s up?”
“Naalala mo yung gift certificate na napanalunan natin last Christmas?”
He just nodded. Truth is Alex forgot all about it and if Drei wouldn’t have mentioned it, he wouldn’t remember.
“What about it?”
“Jess called me while I was on my way home to remind me about it ‘cos it’s expiring already by the end of the month…”
“So?”
“So she told me that we should use it…” Alex was silent for a bit. She sighed and placed her fingers on her temple. “You know what, umm, forget it. I could just tell her to give it to Ina and Ron instead. You probably have plans and all...” she gave him a weary smile and started to walk towards the door.
“Do you want to go?” She heard him ask. She turned and faced him.
“Ako, okay lang,” she told him casually. “I mean it’s really not a big deal, I just thought maybe you might have plans for the weekend and I don’t want to get in the way of that…”
“If you’re fine by it, I’m cool with it,” he said. “When do we leave?”
“Saturday morning, so parang over night lang naman siya actually and besides I don’t want to leave the kids with Manang Pilar for too long…”
“Okay.”
Drei gave him a tight lipped smile. “Great.”
***
“Oh, there you are, hija!” Caroline said the moment she saw Drei stepping inside their unit. She, her sister Chi and Pilar were sitting in the living room with Zooey when she came home from work on a Friday afternoon.
Drei gave the older woman a smile, even if she didn’t know why they were here today. She strode towards them and gave Alex’s aunts each a kiss on the cheek. Alex and Matty were nowhere in sight.
“Napadaan po ata kayo ni Tita Chi, Madam… kanina pa po ba kayo?” she asked.
“Well, Alex called me yesterday,” Caroline began. “Asking me if I could watch over the kids for you guys this weekend. Matagal ko din naman hindi nakikita ang mga bata, so why not, di ba?”
“And syempre, na inggit ako,” Chi joined in. “Since wala naman akong gagawin din, I decided to tag along.”
“Wow, thank you talaga Madam and of course, Tita Chi!” she said to them. “Pero ang aga niyo naman po dumating, eh bukas pa po kami aalis…”
“That’s not what Alex told me,” Caroline told her. “Sabi niya mamaya daw kayo aalis, kaya we’re here, hija.”
“Talaga?” Now, this was another thing she wasn’t informed about.
And right on cue, the door opened and the boys were home.
“Madam! Tita Chi!” Matty shouted excitedly as he saw the women in the living room. Alex trailed behind him, carrying his bag. “Yehey andito kayo!” The boy gave each of them a hug. “Dad said dito daw kayo matutulog? Sasamahan niyo po daw kami ni Zooey?”
While Matty was busy chatting up with their guests, Drei slid him a look. She excused herself from them and headed into the bedroom. Alex followed her inside.
“Why are we leaving tonight?” She hollered at him the moment she heard him close the door behind him. “The reservation was tomorrow, we can’t leave tonight.”
“I see nothing wrong if we leave tonight,” he answered her coolly. Then he stalked towards the cabinets and took out the suitcase. “What’s the difference?”
“If we leave tonight, we’ll have to pay for the extra night…”
“So? Then I’ll pay for it.” He placed the suitcase on the bed and started to get his clothes. “In fact, I already did. So don’t worry about it.”
“You what?”
“I said, I paid for it already,” he repeated.
“Bakit mo naman ginawa yun?”
“Ano naman masama if gawin ko yun? It wouldn’t hurt if we got there early and at least relax, right? I don’t see any problem with that.”
Alex had a point and clearly, she was just too stubborn to accept the point he was making. She wasn’t ready to go and she didn’t know why. Maybe because she still didn’t want them to be left alone yet. Feeling helpless, she just groaned and mumbled to herself.
“And you’re welcome by the way…” he added.
***
“How are you doing, Matthew?” Caroline asked.
They had just finished dinner and since it’s a Friday night, it was an Ice Cream movie night. So here they were, sitting on the living room and watching a movie on HBO. Pilar had already called it a night and was inside her room, while Chi was putting Zooey to sleep after giving her a night time bath.
“I’m okay naman po, Madam,” the boy said right after he placed his empty cup on the coffee table.
“That’s good!” she smiled at him. “Kamusta naman ang pag aaral mo?”
“Nasa top three pa rin naman po ako, Madam… nag aaral naman po ako ng mabuti…”
“Then that’s good, Kuya! Do you take care of your baby sister?”
“Yes po,” he nodded. “Kaso minsan makulit din si Zooey, but I like to make her laugh… she laughs a lot when I do funny faces!”
“Well baby pa kasi siya, antayin mo pag lumaki yan at puwede na kayo maghabolan… always love your baby sister okay?” Caroline reminded him. “Kasi you’re her big brother, dapat inaalagaan mo siya ng mabuti at binabantayan. You understand me, Kuya?”
“Yes po, I will,” Matty assured her. “Yan din sabi ni Mom at ni Dad sa akin… and Dad even said that I should always protect Zooey daw, because she’s a girl…”
“Speaking of your Mom and Dad, how are they?”
“Okay naman sila…” Matty smiled at her. “They hug each other a lot and they kiss each other a lot too, Madam…”
“Really?” the older woman smiled in surprise.
“Yes!” he nodded excitedly. “Dad likes kissing Mom everywhere… sa head, sa nose, sa hand, and he likes hugging her din… and Dad looks at her weirdly, Madam… like he’s making pa-cute…”
Matty continued telling her about Alex and Drei. Caroline could picture it clearly inside her head. She knew how affectionate Alex was and she felt her heart swell with pride. Did Alex and Drei finally admit their true feelings for each other? Were her prayers being answered already? Because as she sat there listening to what the boy was telling her and comparing it to what she has seen during Matty’s birthday, it sure looked like they already did.
“Does that make you happy, Kuya?” Caroline asked. “Masaya ka ba na they’re together?”
“Yes, I am… because I really love Dad… I like him for Mom and he takes care of us, Madam… kahit hindi siya yung totoong Dad ko, he loves me like he loves Zooey…” he smiled.
“… It’s nice that they’re together again, Madam…” Matty finished and then he paused. “Kaya lang parang nag away ata silang dalawa…”
Caroline’s brows furrowed. “Pano mo naman nasabi yun?”
“I dunno,” he shrugged. “Kasi hindi na sila masyadong sweet… and hindi na masyado sinusundo ni Dad si Mom from work…”
“Hindi sila nag uusap?”
“Nag uusap naman po… like if Dad has a question, Mom answers… ganoon din si Mom, she answers if Dad asks… pero it’s different… they’re quiet most of the time…”
It was only then did Caroline remember how the two seemed to be acting really off before they left.
“Baka naman pagod lang sila pareho…”
“Hindi,” he shook his head and then pursed his lips. “It’s different, basta it’s different.”
“Well, if ever nag away man silang dalawa, I am sure it’s not a big deal.” She told him. “Sometimes, kaming mga matatanda, when we’re tired because of work nasestress din kami… madali uminit ang ulo namin…”
“Ahhh, then maybe pagod lang si Mom at si Dad?”
“Could be… saka I am sure naman na bati na sila ngayon, kasi nga they’re going to Batangas… they need to relax…” she smiled at Matty. “Kaya don’t you worry, okay?”
“Okay,” Matty agreed. “Ayaw ko lang kasi pag nag aaway sila…”
“Why?”
“Kasi di ba, when two people fight, it means they don’t love each other anymore?”
“Well, Matt, not all the time…” she began. Matty sat there and listened. “If they fight, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love each other anymore. Pwedeng may hindi lang sila napagkasunduan at kailangan lang nila ng time to understand each other… so maybe ganyan nangyari with your Mom and Dad…”
“Ahhhhh…” the boy nodded.
“When you get older, you’ll understand what I mean….”
Matty smiled and hugged her. “Thanks, Madam…”
“You’re welcome, hijo…” Caroline gave him a tight embrace. “I want you to know that we’re here for you if ever you need anything. Don’t ever feel that you’re different from us, okay?” she told him. “We love you… ako, your Lolo Dan and your Tita Chi… mahal ka din namin just as much as your Mom and Daddy Alex loves you… ‘wag mo kalimutan ‘yan…”
“I won’t, I promise!” Then he broke off the hug and looked at her. “It’s cool to have a big family…”
“Of course!” She smiled at him. “Kaya don’t you worry now about your Mom and Dad okay?”
“Okay!” he nodded. “Magiging bati naman sila ulit di ba?”
“Oo naman,” Caroline assured. “I am sure your Daddy Alex will fix it!”
***
The air was thick and condescending as they drove along the SLEX. This wasn’t the usual comforting silence, this kind of silence was unbearable and it was annoying the hell out of him. Time and time again Alex would glance at her because it seemed as if he was driving alone. Was this a bad idea? Did this provoke Drei even more? He didn’t know. Yet still, he was bracing himself for what’s coming next.
Alex thought that leaving tonight instead of tomorrow would be good idea. He was so excited that he paid for the extra night. It was his attempt to end all this wordless battle between them. But then again, it looked like he was the only one who liked the idea because Drei didn’t look like she did. Her passiveness says it all.
After almost two hours of travelling they finally arrived at the Pico De Loro Sands Hotel. The 154-room hotel stood tall and elegant, surrounded by the scenic mountain ranges and luscious greens. As they got out of the car, they were ushered to the main lobby. The lobby was filled with many works of art – paintings on the wall and their chandeliers made of Capiz shells. Drei took a seat while Alex checked in. When they were done with the check in, they were given their key card.
“Are you sure we’re in the right room?” Drei checked as they went inside their room.
“Yup,” he said briefly.
“Jess said it’s a premier room,” she held out the voucher in front of her to check it once more. Then she looked around. “This doesn’t look like the premier room.”
The room was furnished in a soothing palette of seashell whites and sandy creams that blended with the wooden furniture. Everything just looked so clean and relaxing. And there was a glass door that opened to the balcony that overlooked the gardens and a fantastic view of the lagoon down below that was framed by buildings and the mountains behind them.
“It’s because this isn’t the premier room!” Alex set down their suitcases and took off his hoodie.
“What?”
“This is the penthouse loft.”
Drei widened her eyes in shock. The penthouse loft was on the seventh floor. And with the 64 square meter of floor space, there was more than enough room for two people. On the lower level, where she stood right now, was the living room, a TV, vanity, a number of drawers, personal fridge, a small coffee making corner, and a toilet.
Stunned, she headed up to the stairs and into the second floor. There was a king-size bed, a corner couch, another TV, cabinets, and the main toilet and shower. There’s a huge glass window that also offers an amazing view of the lagoon and the mountains.
“Do you like it?” Alex asked as he stood behind her.
“I…” She didn’t know to react. It was all beautiful. She turned to face him. “Why do you have to do this?”
“Because I want to…” he said to her.
“Hindi mo naman kasi kailangang gumastos pa para mag upgrade lang, Alex… we’re just staying for a while…”
“I want us to enjoy this weekend.”
“It’s too much, this is too much… napagastos ka pa tuloy…”
“I did this because I want to,” he inched closer to her and cupped her face. Their gaze met. “Money is not an issue here, okay?”
“Okay,” she said dispassionately and looked away.
She left him standing there asking himself why was this happening again. Was she mad at him again? Why was upgrading a room such a big deal to her? He sighed and calmed himself down. He followed her downstairs. Drei got her bag while Alex carried their suitcase upstairs into the bedroom.
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked as he placed their suitcase down when he got into the bedroom.
After all the ignoring they've been doing throughout the drive, Alex could no longer take it. He was a ticking bomb waiting to explode any time. His eyes were fixed on Drei, he stood tall in front of her like a brick wall. He wanted this game of brushing each other off to end and he was going to do it now.
“Alex, please, may ginagawa ako,” Drei still refused to look at him. She lifted her suitcase and placed it on the bed. Opening it, she started to take her clothes out.
“Look at me,” he told her but still she didn’t. He inched towards her and held on to her wrist. That was the only time she stopped.
“What?” she asked, facing him but not meeting his eyes.
“Look at me,” he said to her again and this time he tilted her chin to meet his eyes.
And there she caught herself staring into those deep and expressive eyes that she’s been refusing to look at for the last nine days. Drei braced herself because she knew she could get lost.
“What?” she blinked.
“Hangang kelan tayo ganito?” he asked. “Hangang kelan mo ako hindi kakausapin?”
He looked at her with those sad eyes that made her want to run away. And for one moment there, she just couldn’t speak. Alex cupped her face.
“Tell me because I don’t know what to do…” his voice quivered. “Tell me what’s on your mind… galit ka ba sa akin? May mali ba akong ginawa?”
Truth is he didn’t do anything wrong, it was just her and that pride of hers getting the way. He’s doing all the right things but it seemed that she was resisting everything he’s been doing. But who could blame her for building up those walls again?
“I’m… H-hindi ako galit sa’yo…” she stammered. “G-galit ako sa sarili ko…”
At some point, Drei was just like a typical woman who wanted to be sure. She wanted to be sure because she couldn’t trust herself sometimes, especially whenever she’s around him.
“Why?” he asked, his brows furrowed.
She wanted to be sure that this thing with Alex isn’t just another case of history repeating itself. She wanted to make sure what he meant when he told her that they should give it a try. She was just looking out for herself.
“Because I can’t trust myself around you…”
She took a step back and moved away from him. She needed to get away from him because the tears that were forming in her eyes were threatening to fall. Alex watched her as she went downstairs and into the small living room of their suite. He followed suit and found her standing on the balcony.
“I don’t understand… what made you say that?” he asked her. “What do you mean you can’t trust yourself around me?”
He remembered her saying that to him when not long ago and now he wondered what she really meant by that. It was his turn to be puzzled. Then Drei turned and faced him.
“Kasi takot ako… takot ako sa nararamdaman ko…” she began. “Takot ako sa kung anong pwedeng maramdaman nito…” and she pointed to her chest. Her heart. She’s been keeping her heart on her sleeves far too long and admitting that to him right now made her feel better somehow. “Naiintindihan mo ba ako, Alex?”
Seeing the tears falling from her eyes, he wanted to just grab her and wipe it all away but he didn’t. Instead, he let her cry because that’s probably what she needed. He didn’t move from where he was standing and he felt helpless just watching her.
“And you know what?” she continued, now wiping the tears away from her face. She gave him a sad smile. “I really don’t know what the hell we are doing... I don’t know what’s going on inside that head of yours… ano ba ang lahat ng to? Ano ba tong ginagawa natin? Are we playing that game again?”
He swallowed an imaginary lump on his throat. Speechless and stoic.
“Cos if you’re just trying to stir me into another game of yours, I’m telling you now, I can’t do this…” she shook her head. “I can’t do this….”
“It’s not what you think…” he told her, as he stepped closer to her. “Mali ang iniisip mo…”
“Then what do you want me to think?” she fired back at him. “What am I to you? Am I just a person of convenience for you? Someone whose proximity you can take advantage of any time you wish? Is that it?”
And for a moment there, Alex felt his chest tighten the question blew right in front of his face. He was silent for a beat and at the same time, he mulled over her questions.
“Tell me!” Another round of tears fell from her eyes. “Gamitan lang ba to?! Am I just some you can have at your beck and call?” She sobbed. “Tell me, Alex… para alam ko kung saan ako lulugar!”
She stalked away from him and found herself leaning on the vanity that held the TV in the room. Alex let her calm down a bit and when she did, he finally closed the distance between them.
“Don’t you ever think that you’re like that for me… it’s because of you that I’m starting to get things right in my life now… it’s because of you that I wanted to do all the things that I stopped doing before…” he cupped her face and looked into her eyes. “Ikaw ang pinaka tamang ginawa ko sa buhay ko ngayon…”
“I know I told you that I want you to give us a shot… that I want us to try… and I meant that…” he finally said. “Every bit of it… I’m new to this, Drei… all of this…”
He felt his heart pounding wildly in his chest. Bumping his forehead on hers and closed his eyes for a beat. And then he opened them again and met her gaze.
“And I don’t know exactly what I am feeling for you right now, but whatever it is I’m getting there, bubba… and I want you to help me get there,” he continued. “I want you to be with me when I get there…”
“You do?” she sighed and gave in to her tears once more. This was what she wanted and it was happening right now. He’s getting there, she took a mental note of that. “You want me to be with you?”
“Every step of the way…” He wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “I’d be lost without you…”
Drei bit her lip on his remark because on that precise moment she caught herself shaking. A feeling of indescribable bliss came over. Her heartbeat was racing and her hands were cold. This was it, she thought to herself. It was her. She was the girl that he came back to.
“Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko if…”
“Shhhh…” she placed a finger on his lips. And Alex stared at her bemused. “Will you just shut up and kiss me!”
Drei’s eyes drifted close as Alex’s lips touched hers. His mouth fitted hers perfectly. He parted her lips slowly and completely ravished her, causing a wave of desire so strong that she felt her knees wobbled but he caught her in his arms. They both paused and smiled. Slowly, he lifted her up and made her sit on the table.
He cupped her face again and gave her a slow sexy smile. And then he leaned over and kissed her once more. His tongue invaded, taking and teasing, exploring and inciting. She felt the heat pouring through her body – the need, the wanting and the bone melting desire. The longer their kiss went on, the insistent it became and Drei’s arms tightening around Alex’s neck as she held on to him. She knew kissing Alex was one hell of a roller coaster ride and she just melted into him completely.
They never knew that having survived eight days without human contact would make both of them feel this way. They were both hungry. Not just for sex and they both knew that. What burned inside of them was this particular need… specifically, this need for each other.
“What are we doing?” he asked. Delicious. The feel of Drei’s mouth was delicious. Just being near her was tempting enough but actually touching her made his body alert up.
“I don’t know,” she answered.
Eyes still closed, she gasped for breath, still kissing him and now, running her hands all over his body until she finally grabs the hem of his shirt. She finally opens her eyes to meet his dark ones.
“What are we doing?” her voice quivered and so does her body. Quivering with anticipation? Fear? Excitement? She wasn’t sure which one but it felt that she was feeling it all… all at the same time.
A slow and somewhat anxious smile curled up on his lips.
“I don’t know, too…” his voice shaky as he ran his fingers through her hair.
With ragged breathing, they both paused. Forehead to forehead, with their eyes closed, they tried to figure out what all this was about and what was going to happen next. They held each other in a tight embrace and just listened to the wild rhythm of their heartbeat Alex pulled back and gave her a half-lidded gaze. Drei had no idea what he was looking for, but something in her expression must have reassured him.
“What the hell?!” he grumbled in spite of himself.
He brought his mouth back to hers as he cupped her face and kissing her with everything he’s got. Kissing her with all his heart, for what it’s worth. And she stayed there, locked in his embrace kissing him back with same fervor.
Alex didn’t want to think anymore and Drei didn’t care. He wanted this moment. She wanted this moment. Neither one of them couldn’t talk themselves out of this moment.
And everything felt right.
Tonight felt right.
Music: Ólafur Arnalds - Old Skin ft. Arnór Dan
Thank soo much to Ate Jessie, Ate Jane, Liz, Madam, Ate Chi, Ate Connie, Pao, Emi, Pau, Shei, Eli, and to everyone who's been giving their love and support to this story... =)
At sa lahat ng nag enjoy sa kwento kwentong ito... =)
Playing For Keeps © 2013 KasuyTheFanGirl. All Rights Reserved