im sorry if there's any typo in this chapter i am currently sick so i cant check on any misspell or errors correctly and its 12:44 am but i gotta update so here you go lovely readers thankyou for 2k i love you all so much
++double chapter updates! 💫
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trigger warning: mentions of self harm & suicide.
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when oikawa finally arrived home from school, the first thing he did was to ran upstairs, ignoring his mother's call and kept running to his room.
oikawa opened the door and slammed it close. he threw his bag somewhere on the floor.
tears were dry on his cheeks and the words from his classmates, his bullies kept on ringing on his head like a never ending cycle.
fuck. fuck. fuck.
he wanted it to stop. he wanted to stop hearing those words inside his head. its bad enough he had to hear it in his school, but now it haunted him everywhere he go?
god, oikawa was sick of it. he was sick of the constant pain he had to deal with everyday.
he walked to the nighstand beside his bed, and opened a drawer, only to pull out a pocket knife he had been hiding from his mom when she found out he had been cutting.
oikawa bit his lip as he stare down on the pocket knife on his hand. he could see how his hand was trembling as he gripped it tightly.
"oikawa," a voice from outiside disturbed oikawa from his thoughts. he turned around, to see his friend/neighbor standing by the window next door. "megu-chan?"
he quickly put the knife on his hand on one of his jeans pocket.
"are you okay?" megumi had a slight worried look on her face.
oikawa shook his head, "no, im not."
megumi breathed in, "its those bullies again, is it?"
oikawa nodded. "im tired megu-chan.. im tired of it"
megumi had an alarmed look on her face, "oikawa-"
"i cant take it anymore," oikawa's voice broke into sobs, "i-- i want to, i want to kill-"
"dont!" before oikawa could finish his sentence, megumi stopped him. "dont, say that word"
"but megu-chan, i-"
"oikawa!" megumi raised her voice, trying to snap oikawa from himself, "you cant kill yourself okay?! you are a valuable human being. what those people say does not define you. dont let them get inside your head!" megumi said, standing tall and strong.
"you have me! you have your mother who cares about you very much, and you cant leave her alone. you just cant, okay?" megumi reminded him.
oikawa stayed quiet for a moment, as he stare at her. he knew how strong willed megumi was, so there was no point in arguing with her anyway, so oikawa decided to let his lips slipped into a smile, a soft exhale escaped his lips. "okay.."
megumi nodded with his hands on her hips. "good.- now, lets talk about my new kitten shall we?" megumi said as she started to walk behind her.
"megu-chan has a new cat? again?!" oikawa had a surprised look on his face.
"i love cats okay!" megumi said, returning back with a kitten on her hands.
oikawa sighed in defeat. "fine, what do you name her, megu-chan?"
"its a him" megumi corrected, "and, his name is mr.skittles"
"how corny, megu-chan.."
"shut up, oikawa!"
--
oikawa quickly dialed megumi's number at almost 4 in the morning.
"oikawa?" her voice sounded tired and sleepy.
"megu-chan, i cant sleep..." oikawa said, straight to the point.
"again?" megumi asked and she could feel oikawa nodded on the other side of the line.
oikawa heard a yawn, and then megumi started speaking again. "okay you know what my mother used to tell me when i cant sleep?"
"what is it, megu-chan?"
"you go to your window and try to count the stars, try to look if there's any stars out there tonight"
oikawa did exactly what megumi told him to do, oikawa went out from his bed and walked to the window.
"megu-chan.. there are so many" oikawa breathed out, his eyes gazing far at the stars on the sky.
"well, thats good then.. the more stars you have to count the more tired you'll be.. you'll feel sleepy and fall asleep in no time" for a brief secod, oikawa's eyes caught the sight of megumi walking to her own window, and he quickly moved his gaze from the sky to her window.
megumi stood there with her nightgown, her eyes meeting oikawa's eyes as she held a phone on her ear.
oikawa fixed her a look, thinking it was ridicilous of megumi to tell him to count the stars in order to sleep.
megumi rolled her eyes and placed her free hand on her hip, "well? what are you waiting for? just try it!"
oikawa sighed, before finally found himself starting to count the stars.
it lasted for about 15 minutes, megumi stayed by oikawa the whole time until oikawa started to feel sleepy and waved her a goodbye.
--
one day, oikawa knee got injured at school. he tried not to bring it up-- or more precisely, hide the matter from megumi, but of course, megumi saw right through him.
and it was incredible, because she was able to tell that oikawa was in pain while she was having a conversation with him by the window.
"oikawa, you need to tell your mom about this-" megumi didnt get to finish her sentence when oikawa abruptly cut her off.
"that what? bullies did this on school ground? no way!"
"but why?!"
"because!" oikawa cried, tears started to form in his eyes, "if she find out that the bullies actually gave me an injury like this, she'll totally pull me out from school"
megumi had her eyebrows knitted, "isn't that a good thing? you wont have to go through all those bullying anymore"
"no its just--" oikawa's voice started to break. megumi could feel her heart clenched as she heard oikawa began to sniff, fighting back the tears, "i just.. i want to study.."
it was like megumi's heart shattered to pieces. there oikawa stood, crying and vunerable and the only thing he cared about was his academic needs.
megumi pressed her lips together, there was silence between them for a while.
"home school.." megumi's voice broke the silence between them, and oikawa looked up to see megumi standing in front of him with a faint smile.
oikawa tilted his head with a puzzled look, "huh?"
"yeah.. home school.. so you can still study something.. like in school but you're doing it all at your house." megumi suggested.
oikawa took a moment to think of her words. "megu-chan think i should take home school?"
"i think you should be as far away from the people who make you feel miserable." megumi gave oikawa a soft smile.
oikawa stayed quiet again, before looking down on his injured knee. it took a while, but megumi's words had finally hit him. he smiled to himself, "okay, megu-chan.." he looked back at her, who had a relief smile on her face.
--
oikawa was finally back from the grocery store. it had been 3 weeks since he stopped going to public school and have home school. everything was going.. calmer for oikawa. those voices inside his head that made oikawa wanted to curl himself into a ball and cry were slowly disappearing. he would sometimes recall some of it, but he had all the help he need to get through it from his neighbor-- scratch that, lovely friend next door.
he opened the door, "oka-chan~ im home!" he sang happily as he entered his house, closing the door behind him.
he turned around and his eyes were finally fixed on his mother, who was sitting on the couch, with tears in her eyes as she stare at him.
oikawa could feel his body tensed up. his grip on the grocery bags was starting to weaken. "oka-chan?" he asked, dropping the bags on the floor near him. "whats going on?" oikawa slowly approach her. his heart beating faster and there was a sick feeling on his stomach but dear lord, did oikawa pray for nothing wrong to happen.
"oikawa.." she stood up from her couch. she took some steps closer to oikawa as he stopped on his tracks. "its megumi.." her voice was trembling and so was oikawa's body.
"s-she committed suicide this morning"
oikawa could feel himself falling apart once again as he heard those words.
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a/n: somewhat angsty/sad flashback to clear things up a bit. now onto the story again!