— One Week Later —
– April 25, 2016 –
Something fucking crazy is happening and that's the sudden change within me. After a week of tears and being down in the dumps, I have come to the self-diagnosis conclusion that I am majorly depressed.
Here's my prediction: I'm going to die alone. No, wait. No, sorry about that. No, I'm not. A matter of fact, I'm going to die with a million of cats in my own fucking home up in the mountains of Georgia. Yeah, that's the plan.
I'll be that crazy pass-along story your kids will hear about around each Halloween. Just like the witches from Hocus Pocus. I'll have the mansion in the mountains that randomly has rain, thunder, and lightening cast over it with a dark shadows of clouds. Whenever you look even glance up there, it'll be hung over my home.
You'll go on and tell your kids about how a crazy lady that never married or had kids – that always got rejected – died alone up there with all of her cats, but her ghost still lingers up there. Then, being the stupid kids they are, they'll go up to figure it out themselves and get the living shit scared out of them when they realize I'm still alive sipping on my coffee. Ha!
So, I'm currently sat down at a back table in catering while backstage at Raw's show in Hartford. I'm picking at my food with a plastic fork and am trying to avoid suspicion from my co-workers.
It's been hell for me. I've been staying with Emma and Zack, and that's enough said there, I guess. They're all in love and shit. It disgusts me. Seriously, it really does. They sicken me. Not only them, but so does the Bella Twins when they post all on social media of their love lives with Bryan and John.
Every fucking couple these days sicken me more than ever. It's only because I know that I won't ever have that luxury in life. At this rate, I'll be lucky if another man ever actually notices me again.
Is it the hair? My on and off again southern accent? My eyes? The way I do my makeup? What the fuck is it with me?
Suddenly, a weird noise cuts me off from my current thoughts as I see Emma and Zack taking their seats next to mine at the table with me. They smiled at me like nothing in this innocent little world was wrong, but they knew not to play with me and my emotions right now.
Emma cleared her throat, dropped the eager grin, and pulled her chair more up towards the table. "Anyways," she mumbled out, fixing her napkin to place in her lap. She held her breathe as she looked up at me and met my eyes. "You really gotta get yourself out of this damn funk you've got yourself in right now, love. Just tell him how you really feel. You've bottled up for way too long now and it's going to start eating you alive if you don't tell him."
"How do you know it hasn't already taken over and ate me alive on the inside yet?" I countered her with a very blunt glare.
She dropped the act and the whole conversation when she began to eat her food with Zack already doing the same damn thing from beside her.
I went back to playing with my food and sighed every now and again, out of habit and not for attention. I was avoiding eating, sleeping, and breathing... I was really trying avoid a lot of things the past couple of days. One of those things would be a specific person by the name of AJ Styles.
"Hahaha, you got that right, dude!" A loud and deep man's voice rang throughout the catering section to where I had to look up.
"Whoa! Hey, Ziggler!" Emma stood up and called after Dolph Ziggler, who had passed by our table. "Come back here and sit with us."
He didn't seem affected by this, so he took a seat right beside me. He smiled at everyone, including me, but I didn't give him enough of my attention when I turned away and back to my old food.
"Have you guys met yet?" Emma asked of he and I, but all I managed to do was shrug. I knew exactly who the hell he was. He was Nikki Bella's ex-boyfriend. I also know that he's still madly in love with her, too, while she's with John Cena now. However, I'm not exactly sure if he and I have ever had a proper conversation.
"Yeah, we do," he told Emma, which took me by shock for a moment. How? "The last time we talked, she threatened to cut off my balls if I ever try to kiss Nikki again." Oh, shit. I guess we have had a conversation, but it definitely didn't seem to be proper, though. Oops!
"Yeah, well, sorry again for that," I apologized to him, startling myself. I peeked over my shoulder at him, but all he did was grin at me. "What the hell is your problem? Why are you smiling for?"
He opened his mouth, but didn't say anything right off the bat. He just laughed, looking directly at Emma and Zack. "What? I can't be happy?" he asked of me, now looking directly over my way. I shrugged and sighed once again, turning away and go back to ignoring him.
"She's been very down recently," Emma began to explain to him, hopefully not about to spill all of the beans to him. "She needs to be uplifted, but nothing's helped so far for us."
"Well, I am a part-time comedian," Ziggler pointed out, which only made me playfully roll my eyes. He couldn't that, of course. I felt him hit my arm lightly. "How about I tell you a joke, Britt?"
This suddenly, for some stranger foreign reason, intrigued me. So, I shifted my body to face him and tried to show him that I was uninterested, but I really was, truth be told. I just didn't want him to that, of course. All I wanted to do was feel somewhat happy again.
"Okay, so...," he paused for only a moment to take a deep breath for his joke, I'm guessing. "So, two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the U.S. by boat and one says to the other, 'I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.' 'Odd,' her companion replies, 'but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.' Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. 'Two dogs, please,' she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil, and hands them over the counter. Excited, the immigrants hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.' One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, 'What part did you get?'"
I don't know what the hell happened next. All I know is that I end up somehow break out of my harden shell I have created for myself lately and busted out laughing at his little joke. It was so dirty and so fucking funny all in the same sense. It was so damn ridiculous most of all, though.
Emma, Zack, and Ziggler all joined in after a good minute when they realized that I wasn't faking the laughter. It was real. "Ha, you think that was funny?" Ziggler asked, laughing so hard that he may cry.
"Oh, my Gosh!" Emma gushed, giggling. "You actually did it! You've made her laugh!"
"Well, that joke was pretty ridiculous," Zack agreed, chuckling.
"Ridiculous?!" Ziggler squeaked out, claiming down a bit. He then turned back towards me and smiled wide. "Well, if you're so depressed, then maybe I can make you laugh more tonight."
Oh, shit. "How so?" I asked, just to get more information on it. Gosh, I hope he doesn't think I want to just jump into bed with him like it's nothing.
"Nick, Zack, and I are all going out after Raw tonight to a club," Emma replied before Nick could. "Dana and Mojo Rawley is going with us, too, dude. So, you should go with us, too."
"It sounds like it's a couple-thing...?"
She shook her head frantically and said, "No, no it's not. I swear. It's just a friend-thing. So, you in?"
I opened my mouth to reply, but was suddenly cut off by someone clearing their throat. I looked up and seen it was AJ, who was hovering over the table with his arms crossed and without a smile painted on his face.
"Yes?" I squeaked out, wondering what the hell is going on now. Only thing, though, is that my heart started to feel heavy again. I soon fell quiet again, too.
"It's about time to get ready to go out there," AJ replied very quietly, which kind of shocked me. If he wasn't right there when he said it, I wouldn't have heard him.
All I do is nod at him and wave at everyone else as I get up and throw away my plate of food to join AJ to go to the curtains. Only a minute later, I heard my name being called and I turned to be met by Nick again.
"Hey, wait up," he called to me and I stopped in my place. I also noticed that AJ stopped right beside me with a shocked look. Nick stood in front of me and smiled. "Hey, so you never answered Emma's question. You in on for tonight?"
"Um, excuse me?" AJ came in between us and made a face. "What plans?"
"Oh, um," Nick coughed out, looking a bit confused. "We were just planning on going to the club after—"
"It's not of his business, Nick," I interrupted him completely and made a face at AJ. He seemed offended by that, so I turned back to Nick and said, "And, yes, I'm going."
"Excuse me?!" AJ spoke up again, but I chose to ignore him and focus directly on Nick.
I slightly touched his arm, which ignited a small flame within the both of us and made Nick smile even brighter. "I'll see you then, but I gotta go now," I told him and gave him a small smile before I began storming off before AJ could even catch up.
"Britt!" I heard AJ call from behind me, but I didn't stop. "Brittany!" Oh, no he didn't...
Then, all of the sudden, my arm was being tugged on and pulled into some room. I tried to push him off of me, then he turned on the light and pushed me up against the lockers. He had each of his arms on my side and his face inches away from mine.
"What the hell, Britt? Why him, huh?" AJ immediately began questioning me with a new fire within him. "What are y'all gonna do? You're so desperate that you'll let him in your pants already?!"
"WHAT?!" I screeched and gave him one of the biggest shoves I have ever done. He was now in the middle of the room, staring me down in anger. "All we're doing is going after the show to just have some innocent fun!"
Obviously, he's taking this "fun" term to a whole new level when his face turns into a firing red shade. "All he wants to do is get in your pants, Britt!"
"No, he doesn't!"
"Yes, he does! All men want that!" he screamed back, letting it all out in the open. "I mean, look at you! Who wouldn't want you?"
"Obviously, you!" I snapped back, fighting back the tears now. "And no, he doesn't! He seen how goddamn down I've been and offered me to go with him and his friends after the show to a club! I'm not going to sleep with him and I'm not going to allow him to sleep with me, either! Damn, AJ, you don't want me, but then one damn guy shows just a little interest in me and now it's a fucking problem?! Well, it's not gonna happen with him! He's Nikki's ex-boyfriend, for God's sake!"
Then, I throw the door open and storm out of the locker room, fuming in a new kind of fire I've never experienced with AJ. This only made me more depressed than ever to be ruining a fourteen-year long friendship.
• DUNT... DUNT... DUNT!!! Hehe, hi 😂 Am I good or... Am I good?! 😏 Anyways, Ik it took FOREVER to get this up, but now it's up! Hehe, I'll just leave this here... All the love .xx •