CHAPTER 20 (EDITED)
MY HEART FELT like it would leap out of my chest at any given second. I was sat in Vanessa's room with her mom and sisters waiting for her to emerge from the bathroom in her wedding dress
Wedding dress!
It all felt too surreal. It felt like two seconds ago that we were in middle school discussing how we would get married to Justin Timberlake. And now, in the blink of an eye, she was getting married to the actual man of her dreams and I couldn't have been happier.
I kept on turning the bracelet Ethan had given me round and round, as a nervous tic.
When the door of the bathroom clicked, we all stood up bracing ourselves.
A bunch of 'Oh my God's and sobs were uttered when we got the full vision. I definitely had tears in my eyes.
Vanessa looked like an angel. She was wearing her custom-made Vera Wang gown. It was lace, with a sheer back and v-neckline and a chapel length trail. Her dark locks were pulled up into a very complex bun that was being concealed by her huge veil.
"You look so gorgeous, Vanessa. I just— I literally—" I stuttered as she came over to me after hugging a very tearful Patricia.
"Can't even?" She joked and we both laughed.
"You look beautiful too, Char." She said and held me at arm's length and looked me up and down as if she were checking me out.
"Stop crying and ruining our wedding makeup." She exclaimed and reached out to wipe away my tears.
"I love you so much," I said and wrapped her in a hug, making sure none of our gowns were being ruined. I did not want that to happen again.
"I love you too. And, before all the shit happens, I just wanted to say—" She stopped to wipe the corners of her own eyes before continuing, "— thank you. Not just for making my dream wedding happen but for being my best friend and sister. I couldn't ask for a more beautiful, wonderful, smart, hilarious and compassionate friend to live my life with. You have been with me every step of the way and I could never live without you. Aiden might be my better half but you will always be my other half. I love."
By the time she was done it was no surprise that I had tears streaming down my face probably ruining the hours spent on my makeup. I was hoping it was all extremely waterproof.
"I love you, too! I would do anything for you. At any given time." I said and she nodded along.
"I can't believe this is happening. Oh my God, I'm getting married. I won't be single anymore...and I'm only 22. Isn't it too early? Why is this just hitting me now? I couldn't even drink legally until a year ago. I think—" She rambled and I stopped her word vomit with a loud 'shhh'.
She stopped and looked around. I was thankful her mom had gone downstairs to greet some guests before her dad came up to get her.
"Yes, you're only 22 and it is early but does it matter? People who get married at 35 could still be unhappy. I know Aiden will treat you like the queen you are. This is your wedding day and probably one of the best days of your life." I rubbed my hands over her arms.
I had kind of anticipated she would get cold feet and try to run away or do something crazy that only Vanessa would do.
She took a moment to contemplate my words after nodding again.
"You're right. Aiden makes me so happy. I love him." She finishes off with a whisper. Even though it looked like she was talking to me, she was saying these things to reassure herself so I just let her get it all out.
"I don't doubt him but I doubt myself. Love is complicated but, honestly, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. One day I feel like I'm on top of the world but all of that can come crashing down the same day. I become a mess only he can clean up. But, you know, I feel safe and happy."
I was close to saying 'same' as Ethan's face popped up in my head. He made me feel safe and happy.
Was I in love with him?
The signs were all there but I didn't want to say anything or do anything before I was completely sure. We hadn't even started dating. And, telling Ethan Reed that I loved him before even taking the first step felt like a perfect way to make him run in the other direction.
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The ceremony was beautiful and I was sure that everyone had shed a tear when Vanessa and Aiden exchanged their vows. For a few seconds, I was annoyed that I had to stand up front because I was having a lot of trouble containing my tears.
But, I was just glad everything had worked out fine— even the flowers that came way too late.
We had transferred the guests from the beach, where the actual wedding ceremony took place, to the grand ballroom. The food was being served, along with some champagne, and people were dying to talk to the happy couple.
I was stuck in a conversation with people that wanted to know everything about the hotel and how they could buy a share. I was obligated to reply so I did my best trying not to make it obvious that it was the most boring conversation ever or the fact that my knowledge wasn't so extensive.
"Hey, Charlotte! Food emergency in the...um, kitchen." Ethan's voice said from behind me and I instantly panicked.
But, the amusement in his eyes let me know that he was lying to save me from the two men. I excused myself from them and pretended to worry about what the food emergency was.
"Wait, where are we going?" I questioned him as we exited the ballroom. Maybe there was an actual food emergency but from the direction we were heading, it didn't seem like the way to the kitchen.
He rolled his eyes but tugged on my hand, not stopping.
"You're welcome."
I nudged him with my elbow.
"Thanks. I would have died of boredom if you hadn't intervened."
Suddenly, we were stopped in front of a small secluded corner that was close to where one of the cleaning supplies room was. It wasn't hidden exactly but not everyone could see it.
"What are we doing here?" I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Well, this was the only place where I could get a decent thank you. If you know what I mean." He winked and I shook my head at his innuendo.
"Really? So, just how many girls have thanked you here?" I asked, making his smirk grow.
"Damn, you are so jealous." He smiled, proud of himself.
He took hold of both of my hands and pulled me closer to him.
"I don't like sharing," I said, in a quiet voice. He moved his hands from mine to my waist and closed the small distance between us.
"Neither do I." He whispered against my lips. My pulse was racing and I could feel his heart racing under my palm on his chest.
"Oh, and there weren't nor are any other girls. There probably won't be for a very long time. Just one bronde hair, blue-eyed beauty." He said and I couldn't take the tension any longer so I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him down towards me and pressed my lips to his.
It started off a little slow but as the seconds went on, we were a mess. His arms were resting on my lower back as he tried to pull me closer and my hands were around his neck. He bit my bottom lip and I didn't skip a beat before allowing him entrance.
In one swift motion, he had me flush against the wall. Nothing about the kiss was gentle and I loved that. It felt like he was trying to convey all his feelings and pour them into one kiss and so was I.
A soft groan came from him as I nipped his lip. I felt a smile break out on my lips causing him to do the very same.
"Charlotte?" I heard someone say. I was in a daze and it took me a few seconds to register the voice but once it settled in, I pushed Ethan away from me.
Standing in front of us was Vanessa with her hand outstretched holding a phone. Her eyes were wide with shock and she was trying to piece things together but I could see the hurt in her eyes. She was disappointed that I had kept this from her.
She shook her head and held out the phone to me.
"It's your mom. She couldn't reach you. Your dad..."
I didn't let her finish the sentence and I already had the phone pressed to my ear.
"Mom?" I said and I heard a sniffle from the other end that made my heart drop.
"Mom, say something." I pleaded, in a louder voice.
"Charlotte, you should come home. It isn't looking too good for your father and he wants to see you." She didn't even let me reply. She just hung up after and I was left staring at the screen with no explanation.
I clutched the table to the side for support and brought my palm to my head to stop the blinding ache that had formed.
Vanessa and Ethan took quick steps to come closer to me. Both of them reached out at the same time making the situation awkward.
"You should go, Char. You need to go." Vanessa was the first to speak up and I turned to see her looking at me with a sad expression on her face.
"I can't just leave. The reception is yet to happen. And..." I reasoned but she shook her head to get me to stop speaking.
"You have done more than enough. We can handle a reception by ourselves. He needs you right now. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I kept you here. Go." She urged and I nodded. My head was too occupied with the what-ifs to think of any coherent replies.
Vanessa leaned forward and hugged me close to her.
"You have a lot of explaining to do but I'm not angry. I love you. Call me as soon as you get there."
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"Charlotte, please let me come with you." Ethan pleaded for the hundredth time as he sat on his bed and booked me a ticket as I frantically packed all my belongings.
"No. I'll be fine and if I'm gone, you need to be here," I said.
He kept listing off all the reasons he should come with me as I did the opposite. It wasn't like I didn't want him to come with me, it just didn't make sense. Plus, in the past few days, he had been around me enough to understand the ropes and handle things if something went wrong.
I pulled up my suitcases just as he announced he had booked a ticket only for me which was due to leave in three hours meaning we had to go the airport right now.
We had negotiated and compromised with him getting to drop me off at the airport at least. I agreed not wanting to create an argument. It was the last thing I needed.
Once I was done, I looked around the room that held a thousand memories for me from this trip. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I made way to the front door.
Ethan stopped me and held my hand in his.
"I don't want to tell you that everything will be okay because I'm no doctor so I don't know if it will. But, I promise we will go through it together. I want to be there for you when you smile and also when you cry." He took my face in his hands and I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling. There was a dull ache in my chest that I couldn't seem to erase no matter what.
I couldn't even stop my tears. Ethan didn't waste a second and wrapped me up in a hug as I held on to him like he was my lifeline. He kept whispering things in my ear but all I could focus on was his touch. I didn't want to hear anything else.
He didn't make it all okay but he did make it bearable and that was worth it.
Vanessa's words from earlier on came back to me. Because I was the mess only he could clean up.
And, in that moment, no matter how bittersweet it was, I realized that somewhere along that way I had fallen in love with him.
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