I tapped my foot against the pavement impatiently. I was going to wait. I was not going to leave. I couldn't. I sigh and sat down on the front steps of the school, pulling out my phone and scrolling through my contacts list. Anthony. I wasnt going to call him either.
Instead, I scrolled down to Symone's name and called her.
"Yessir?"
"I'm a girl," I deadpanned.
"You sure?" She laughed and then sighed."So whattup?"
"Waiting for Anthony."
"Hm? Why?"
I shook my head. Just some...stuff."
"Sounds dirty. You gonna fuck him?"
I swear, everything to Symone is sex. That's all she can think about. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
"God, Symone, get a grip. Not everythings about a man's dick being inserted into a bitch's pussy. Like, chill." I went into my bag and pulled out a bottle of water and took a sip. Then spit it out. Shit got warm. I chucked the bottle towards the street, accidentally hitting a passing car. Whoops.
"Oh, you'd be suprised." Symone laughed. "You outside the shcool?
"Mhm."
"Ohhh. I'm in the science lab if you wanna come through. I got this stupid make up exam in, like, five minutes. You can, like, help me cheat or some shit."
"No, I gotta wait. Good luck on your test though."
"Riight."
The line ended and I smiled to myself. I hadn't even noticed Anthony standing next to me until he cleared his throat. I looked up at him. He was shirtless. He was clutching his shirt in his hand, and wearing his jeans dangerously low on his hips. He looked down at me, his head cocked to the side as if figring something out. i wanted to ask him what he was thinking about, but I kept the question to myself.
"So?"
I looked up to him. "Huh?
"You wanted to talk. What is it?"
I stood up. "You're mad." It wasn't a question. I can tell. The way he stood stiff in front of me. The way he stared at me. The way he was gripping onto the shirt. His eyes. He wasn't happy with me. Ugh, this was going to take a lot of talking and excuses and explaining. He was pissed, I get it. Our lives are...bitched up to the max. '
"Nope." He popped the 'p'. His tone was sarcastic.
"Right. Look, iI'm sorry."
"So you've said."
I felt my patience grow thin. "Can you atleast try to work with me here?"
"I said I wasn't mad, Roxanne. It's you who keep bringing shit up. Leave the shit alone. What do you want?"
I rolled my eyes. "To talk."
"About what, Roxanne?"
Roxanne. I felt my chest tighten. Roxie. Call me Roxie again. Please.
Why was he being difficult? I was just trying to make things right.
"Anthony, I get it." He stayed silent. "Yoir life isn't perfect. Believe me, I get it. You think my life is chocolates and roses with unicorns? It's not. I would love to once be able to say that I'm satisfied with my life. I'd love a kid sister ir brother. I'd love a mom. I'd love a dad who doesn't a--" I stopped myself.
"Believe me when I say, I get the whole hate the world, fuck my life logic. I do. I want so badly to have a happy life, ya know?"
Anthony looked down t his feet. "Here's the difference between you and me. Your life--the one you wish was chocolates and roses and unicorns--you get to walk away. I'm stuck. Trapped. I can't get out."
Neither can I. I didn't say it, though.
"Good bye, Roxanne."
I felt my heart swell up and then explode. I wanted to sit in a corned and cry. Instead, I stood there frozen and numb, and watched him walk away.
Again.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I needed to go home. God. I hated that I needed to face him. I stood on the front porch, of my home, staring at the door. Oh God, this was crazy. My stomach twisted and turned. I felt like I was going to vomit right here.
I slowly made my way up the steps, eye trained on the door. I clutched my phone tightly, before sending a quick prayer. I then opened the door and stepped inside. Quiet. That was a good sign.
He was probably passed out somewhere. Sleeping soundly. I let out a sigh of relief, quietly closing the door behind me. Then, I slowly made my way upstair and into my bedroom. I opened my drawer and pulled out some clothes. I tried to move as quickly and quietly as possible. I couldn't get caught.
"Lookie here, what the dog dragged in. Or are you the mutt?"
I froze, my hand gripping tightly onto the shirt in my hand. I let out a breath and looked up.
"D-dad," I started.
"What did I say?" He growled. He took the can of beer in his hand and threw it at me, just barley missing my head. I stood frozen in fear. "Didja hear me or what?"
I swallowed. "I was just--"
"Thinking you could get passed the old drunk bastard, eh? Didn't think much, is you?"
I took a step back. "I'm sorry."
"I don't give a fucking shit! Did you not hear me?! What the Fuck did I say?!"
I winced. He was way past yelling. I felt my eyes well up in tears. I clutched the phone in my pocket and prayed I wouldn't have to use it. I hated my father. Despised him. But I didn't want him in jail. My father laughed suddenly, startling me.
"Stupid, stupid bitch." He spoke calmly. Too calmly.
I felt the blow to my face, but didn't really feel it. I was too shocked. The kick to my side affected me more. I bit my lip to keep from crying out.
"Ungrateful slut." He shook his head. "She loved me. Your mother--she loved me. And you tok her away from me!"
I gasped.
"She was all I had. You're my daughter. You're supposed to love me. You're supposed to love your mom. Instead you killed her. And then turned me into a monster."
I felt like bawling. How could he say this?
"You. It's all you."
He took something out his pocket. My eyes widened. No, God, no. Please no.
"Dad--"
He held the handgun in his hand, staring at it. He gently touched it. He was going to shoot me. He really hated me.
"I loved you, Roxanne. When you were in your mommy's belly. Both of you...you were my girls. But now I'm stuck with one. Not anymore."
He raised the gun, a tear rolling down his cheeks.
"No!"
Bang!