*Tiana's POV*
Taemin was staring hard at me since the morning. I didn't talk and just ignored him until we took Jason to school. As soon as Jason was far enough to not hear whatever was bothering him, I turned toward Taemin.
"What's wrong, Hu? You keep staring at me since this morning.
-Something happened with JongIn, right?
-W-Why are you saying that?
-You seems more tired and more absent." I just sighed. He crossed his arms.
"What happened?
-I don't know... JongIn was strange on the phone two days ago and I had to hung up because I was feeling like throwing up. I'm just scared that he think I'm angry at him." He sighed, stroked my hair and hugged me. He was always doing that, treating me like a little girl when he was just two years older than me.
"Don't worry, ok? You'll call him tonight and tell him you weren't angry.
-What if he doesn't answer? He didn't picked up his phone yesterday.
-He will come back and you will tell him. It's only left two days, you'll be alright!
-I know but..." I sighed.
"I know I shouldn't feel anxious but I can't help myself to think that something will go wrong. Each time everything seems to go great in my life, something come and spoil it!
-Can't you trust JongIn a little bit?!
-I trust him! The one I don't trust is his father!
-I know he doesn't like you but to the point of being afraid of him..." Taemin seemed to be thinking.
"Taemin... I can't explain you why but I felt a kind of murderous vibe when I first meet him. He clearly told me I was in JongIn's way to success and that he won't hesitate to get rid of me if I was staying in his path!
-What does JongIn said ?
-He was so busy trying to find a way for me to forgive him for his lies that he hasn't heard anything that his father said."
He sighed and started the engine because it must have been more than ten minutes that we were still in front of Jason's school. I was looking outside, day dreaming about the past and then I realize we weren't on the way to my apartment. I turned toward Taemin. He was frowning hard and focusing on the road.
"Taemin where are you bringing me?" He wasn't answering. I kept on asking him during 10 minutes until he shut me up by abruptly parking on the side. I was shocked.
"Taemin, what's wrong? Why aren't we at my apartment?
-Because you needed to go somewhere to forgot everything! And I know exactly what place." He said pointing behind me. I turned and looked at the big building. I turned away and stared at the road.
"Drive me to my apartment Taemin.
-Why? You need to chill and have fun. Isn't our old dance studio the best place?
-Drive me back home!" He frowned and crossed his arms.
"I won't drive you back unless you go dance with me!"
I looked at him and he seemed serious. I just rolled my eyes and opened the car's door. He did the same thinking I would be going his way but hell no! I just turned right away and started looking for a Taxi. Taemin saw me so he just lifted me and put me on his shoulder. I was hitting his shoulder, begging him to let me down as he was going up the studio stairs.
"Taemin, I'm serious! PUT ME DOWN!
-No! We are going in no matter what you say!
-Put me down!" He finally did when we reach the dance studio. I wanted to go away but he wasn't letting go of my wrist.
"Just an hour Tiana!
-No! I can't dance!" He looked at me skeptically and just scoffed.
"You, You can't dance?! Are you kidding me?
-I'm serious Taemin! I can't dance.
-So what about the night we went to the club? You dance with Sehun, right?
-Right but it was one dance and I was tipsy. I don't control myself when I'm tipsy! Seriously Taemin, If I dance with you right now, I won't be able to sleep tonight!" He scanned me, looking for any bit of lie but I was only saying the truth.
"Why can't you dance?
-I...I had an accident, ok? I injured my shoulder and it never really have healed and won't anyway so..." He looked at me with pitiful eyes. I hate when people look at me like that.
"Stop looking at me like that! Just bring me back to the apartment."
As I was turning around to go down the stairs he pulled me in the opposite direction, dragging me farther in the studio. I was trying to take back my hand but he was stronger than me. I swear during a second I thought about biting him but decided to avoid any bad situation like that since some dancers were practicing not far, we could heard the music.
"Taemin, I told you I can't dance! Why are you still dragging me into this building?!
-I have something to show you.
-I don't care just bring me back home! I'm hungry and tired."
He kept on dragging me until we came in front of a wall full of posters. I looked at them and my eyes stopped on one. Taemin let go of my wrist and I went closer to the poster. It was giving me so much feelings. Nostalgia, sadness, happiness... It was really strange but was the strangest was that they actually kept this poster.
"They kept it...Why?
-Kai made a scene for them not to remove it and then it became a famous thing. The new dancers made a ritual of it.
-A ritual?
-Yes, They were coming and touching the poster before going to the rehearsals.
-Seriously?!" He nodded and I couldn't help but laughed at this.
I looked at little bit more at the details of the poster. JongIn and me, dancing. He was holding my waist with one hand and my thigh, that was on his hip, with the other one. My arms were laced around his neck, our face a few inch apart, looking at each other like there was only us. If I remember it was on a song called "Love love love" I don't remember the artist but I really liked that song back then. We decided to make a choreography on it with JongIn and we end up being filmed by the director or the studio...he posted the video on youtube without telling us. We end up being known as the "Hip Hop sexy couple" in the studio and even outside. They made us do more videos, people from USA were really happy to see a black girl dancing in a korean studio and they actually find the idea of an ambw dancing couple really cool, same went with korean youth!
"A bunch of young girls were saying that maybe if they keep on touching it every time they come, they may find love with another dancer and it end up being a ritual.
-They really are crazy!" I laughed during a moment before calming down and touching the poster.
"It was...the best part of my life.
-Tiana...
-But I'm willing to let it go and let my future days with JongIn replace it. I'm willing to finally help him catch up with what he missed. I don't want things to go back to this time. It's impossible anyway!" I let out a nostalgic sighed and half smiled.
"I'm a mother now, I can't dance anymore, I have grown up to be a strong woman. Things will never be like back then but...I want to make better than that! I want to build something new with JongIn and for that, I need to tell him about the past so we will both be able to throw it away. Do you think I'll be able to finally be happy?
-I don't know...but I'm supporting you no matter what.
-I know. This is why you're my best friend!
-Your best friend...right..." His tone was strange so I turned toward him, scanning his face. He seemed at bit absent.
"What's wrong Taemin?
-Hu? Ah~ Nothing. I was thinking that I thought I was more than that to you.
-What do you mean?" He looked at me during a few seconds and then a wide grin appeared on his face.
"I thought I was like a brother for you but it looks like I was wrong!" I slapped him behind the head. He winced and rub where I hit him.
"Why did you hit me?!
-Don't joke around like that! I really thought something was wrong!" I rolled my eyes and went toward the exit followed by Taemin.
I was almost out when I heard shouts. I turned toward the voices and saw three young women, one of them was familiar. They ran toward me with big grins on their faces. Do you remember the young dancer I helped at JongIn's event? Taehan? She was one of them. She hugged me and I hugged back. She was so little and cute. Her two friends looked at her surprised and then pulled her back.
"Taehan, you can't hug her like that!
-Why can't she?" They looked at me with big eyes.
"You are Tiana Brewly, right?
-Y-Yes, Why?
-The Tiana Brewly of the Hip hop sexy couple?" I nodded and they started to shout, startling me.
"OH MY GOD! You're like a Goddess for us!
-You're the greatest Tiana Brewly! The one and only!
-Your duo with Kim JongIn is really well known here!
-Wait wait wait! Unni...You're Tiana brewly... the one on the poster?" I nodded and Taehan looked at me wide eyes.
"I...I took a lesson with The goddess of the studio?! I even danced with her?!
-You WHAT?!" Both her friends looked at her. They then turned toward me.
"Tiana Sunbae, is it true?
-Yes." They looked at me with big eyes and then started to shout again, startling me.
"Unni, I want to do it too! I want to take lessons with you!" I looked back and Taemin who was smirking like he was going to have what he wanted. I turned back toward the young women and stroked all their hair.
"I'm sorry, I can't! I'm not in a state for dancing." They looked at e a bit disappoint but it was soon replaced with worry.
"What happened are you sick?
-Hu~...kind of." I couldn't help but smile, seeing how these women were looking at me like I was their mom.
"Anyway, I'm sorry girls but I have to go. I have some stuff to do. I'll come see you again another day, ok?" I said as I waved them good bye while going out. They waved back as Taemin followed me.
We hoped in the car and Taemin give me a worried look. I faked not seeing it as he started driving toward the apartment this time. The whole drive back home was pretty silent. As we reached home, I went out of the car and Taemin was still in it. I looked at him surprised and he gave me an apologetic stare.
"I have to go to my office pick some papers, will you be alright by yourself for a bit?
-I'm a grown woman, I think I can be left alone." I said laughing but he looked at me seriously.
"Tiana!
-Y-Yes?
-I...I heard you having nightmares these days. I heard you waking up in the middle of the night coughing and throwing up." I took a deep breath and looked at the sky.
"I'm fine. I just need JongIn back that's all.
-Tiana, I don't want you to stick to him like your life depends on it to be disappointed and sad again." I narrowed feeling like my best friend was against me one of sudden.
"What do you mean?
-I mean, I'm afraid of him hurting you.
-H-He won't! He changed and is changing.
-I know that's the case but there is so much things in between you too and in this story, you'll be the more hurt!
-I KNOW, OK?!" He jumped in surprise.
"I damn know that I'm the one who has the most to loose in this story! But...I want to believe that for once things will go in my way! That for once, I'll be able to do what normal family do! That I won't have nightmares anymore because someone will be holding me in his arms! I want Jason to be with his father! WHAT IS WRONG IN THAT?! WHY PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS AGAINST US?! I THOUGHT THAT, AT LEAST, YOU WOULD BE ON OUR SIDE!"
I couldn't help but let out some tears. I quickly wiped them and took a deep breath in. I turned around and started walking away as Taemin was shouting my name. I quicken up, almost running in the elevator. It went up and I just stayed calm until I reach my door. When I looked at it, I just took a few step back until my back was against the opposite wall. my legs were shaking and they finally gave up. I slid against the wall and covered my mouth with my hand for preventing me from screaming. On my door were photos of me, took by Kevin back then. I was almost on the floor....and....and....
I stood up and ripped the photo with all the rage I had. I took the little pieces of photos and went in my apartment. I search for a trash and threw them in it. after doing all that, I went in the kitchen with the trash, lit a match and threw it in the trash. I put the trash in the sink and just backed away until my lower back touch the counter. I let myself slide against it and looked at the smoke flying out the trash. It's only a few seconds later that I realize I wasn't breathing normally so I had to calm down. I looked at the trash. I so much wished for my past to burn like that, being unreadable, as if it wasn't important from the start.
I Started coughing so I stood up and opened the faucet. The water killed the fire little by little. When there wasn't fire anymore, I took the trash and looked in it. There was black and grey ashes, just like my past, I can never get rid of those, right? There will always be darker things when I try to get rid of my past. I looked at my bag on the counter, It was shaking. I took my phone out of it and saw the same unknown number as always. I wasn't even surprised, just so tired of everything already.
"Hello?
-Hey~ ....
-Don't fucking say it...
-Oh~ fierce!" I heard him chuckle.
"I just wanted to know if my present was to your like?
-You already know the answer. I just made a joy fire because of your present!
-Wow~ What an honor!
-Why are you doing that, Hu?" He didn't answer.
"Do you think that I will run to your arms? Do you think that I will love you like this?!
-Shut up...
-No, you shut up! Yes, I liked you as a close friend but it never was love and you know that! Is this why you're like this with me? You can't handle the fact that I never had a place for you in my heart, right?!
-SHUT UP!" It was my turn to chuckle. Honestly I didn't really like talking to him like that but I felt like I had to. I maybe don't like him anymore but I can't bring myself to really hate him. I'm just scared and disgusted, there is no hate in it.
"What, Kevin? WHAT?! Can't you handle the truth?!
-You were acting with me more than just a friend!
-Are you kidding me?! You asked for a chance and I gave it to you, that's all!
-No...
-Now that's I think about it, I should have ignored you since the beginning!" I could hear him groan on the other end.
"You don't really think what you're saying!
-Yes, I am! I'm regretting every little moment I spent with you! Just like I regretted leaving Jason's father!" He went silent. He was right, I wasn't meaning any of this. He needed a hand to help him out of his problems. I just regret that I wasn't strong enough to really help him and that I maybe put him in a bigger mess that he was. Suddenly, I heard the sound of something breaking, what startled me.
"I'm not like that coward! I wouldn't have let you go! Don't compare me to him!
-You're right, he is better than you! At least he only hurt my heart nothing else...
-He is the one who put you in all this mess!
-It's not true! I have my part of responsibilities in this...And you too!
-I'm just the incarnation of the destiny. YOUR destiny!
-Oh please just shut the fuck up already with your destiny Shit!" I was just so fed up of people deciding my destiny for me.
"It doesn't matter how you see it. There is just no way I'm letting you live peacefully with him. He don't love you like I do! He can't marry to you! He can't drop everything for you! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DROP EVERYTHING, EVEN MY LIFE, FOR YOU!
-It doesn't make you better to my eyes than him!" I said that in a whisper and then hung up without even letting him answer.
I went in my room, took my sports bag and car keys. I closed my apartment and took the elevator to th parking lot. I was about to hop in my car when I heard my name being called.
"Tiana?!
-U..Unni?"
********************************
Well! Here we go!
Tiana is feeling like nobody is supporting her couple, is it true?
Taemin is acting strange, why?
Tiana provoked Kevin. Was it a good idea?
What about JongIn?