“Take these every couple of hours, they’ll help with the pain and sleeping and also just be careful not to make any violent movements. Other than that you should be fine Andrew. I hope you recover quickly.” The nurse behind the front desk nodded at me once, filing away my release papers that I had just signed. “Good luck.” Grabbing the small bottle she gave me I clutched it tightly in my hand. No worries, just drug me up and I’ll be fine.
“Sure,” I smiled tightly, walking hurriedly away from the desk. Shrugging the one shoulder that was still functioning properly I tipped out about three of the tablets and dry swallowed them, shoving the bottle deep in my denim jackets pockets. Although I hated taking them, I was good at simply swallowing tablets from when I was a kid. I used to suffer form terrible nightmares and was forced to take medication every night to help me sleep better.
“Finally!” I breathed as I walked tenderly out of the hospital doors. I wanted to do anything but walk. Walking just didn’t do the joy of being outside justice. It felt like years had passed since I had last seen the sky, heard the ground crunch under my feet. To be honest, I almost wish it had been. Then I could forget why I had been in there to start with. Aside from that… I was free!
Well… as free as you can be when half of you is completely immobile. Gingerly I attempted to lift my right shoulder, cursing and fuming silently when the muscles screamed in protest. Life just does not like being simple. Sighing I shook away the annoyance, returning to relishing the feel of the dusk air on my hospital paled skin. The warm bath of golden light over my body was much appreciated compared to the fluorescent and stark white of the hospital. Against the fiery sky, the city around me seemed to come alive, a surprising lack of people making the moment even more perfect.
Smiling broadly, I waved with the arm on the right side, careful to avoid use of the left half of my torso. It wouldn’t be completely healed for another couple of weeks according to the countless doctors and physiotherapists. Unfortunately. In the distance Accel grinned back, the yellow sunlight casting a light halo around his body as he leant casually against the metal of a street lamp. I swear I nearly swooned when his hypnotic jade gaze collided with my adoring one. Swallowing heavily I walked towards him, praying my knees wouldn’t give out and cause further unnecessary injury to my ‘fragile’ body. That would be just like me.
WHY are you nervous you idiot! He’s your boyfriend… I paused for a moment before shrugging; well… let’s just go with ‘boyfriend’ anyway.
Maybe it’s because he tried to save you… I mean, he risked his life. He was just late.
Grimacing, I shook the thought off, not wanting to return to the nightmares that haunted me night and day. That part of my life was over, finished with; DONE. I intended to keep it that way. The metres between us grew smaller and smaller until I was once again in his arms, immersed in jade green.
“Hey,” he smiled, his beautifully harsh features softening. Reaching out, his slender fingers trailed over my cheek, flicking a piece of hair back into place. I frowned reaching up and scuffed it around again, carefully making sure each separate strand was perfectly in place. Before I pulled my hand away, I heard Accel sigh. What? Shaking his head, he reached his hands up and gripped mine, fidgeting around my wrists before bringing both our hands down together. Casting him a questioning look, I grasped my bands protectively.
“What?” I grumbled.
Ace merely rolled his eyes. “You know what.”
“What’s that supposed to mean!”
He shook his head again. “Never mind. Let’s go.” He tugged me further into him, until his left hand slid into one of the back pockets of my jeans. I jerked in shock and flushed a deep red as I felt a tiny pinch.
“Stop it!” I whispered as fiercely as I could muster, trying to put a tiny bit of distance between us. He merely laughed and pulled me back to him with ease, careful not to put to much pressure on my side.
“You love it,” he spoke knowingly.
Maybe.
“Where are we going anyway?” I questioned, taking in my surroundings. Fading sunlight bathed the road in a burnt yellow, casting our silhouettes strongly on the uneven pavement before us. The evening was oddly peaceful for being so close to a hospital; cars rarely passed us by on the narrow street and there was not another soul in sight. The only sounds were the distant wail of a siren and steady crunch of the gravely sidewalk beneath our feet. Perfectly content, I looked towards the sky, resting my head against Ace’s gently. In a breathtaking display of colours, the sunset had painted a natural masterpiece. Clouds exploded with deep pinks and blood reds, lined with a glowing yellow. Beyond them the sky was a canvas of tinted blue, gradually fading to a deep inky purple.
“Away from that place,” Accel replied casually, leaning further onto me and gesturing with his spare hand back towards Westwood Hospital. “I thought you’d be more grateful to get away, you never stopped complaining once while I was visiting. Besides, I have something I need to talk to you about.”
Alarm bells started ringing as soon as the words had fallen from his mouth. I wasn’t sure why, but it felt like something was off.
“Something like what?” I questioned warily, stuffing my hand into my jeans pockets, secretly twisting my fingers together.
Accel tensed, I could feel unease rising off him in waves, soiling the crisp evening air. What could possibly be that bad that he won’t even open up to me about?
“Just… about...stuff okay?” he mumbled under his breath, shaking his head and fidgeting with his fringe. It was odd seeing him so willing to avoid eye contact. Usually he was upfront about everything, staring you down until you surrendered. Not to mention how hot he is.
“What kind of ‘stuff’? ‘Stuff’ doesn’t clarify anything!” I said, trying to read the silence lacing his lips. I felt like a child trying to pry some great secret from his mother’s stubborn interior. To be honest I was dreading his answer. I can’t handle anything else. Everything’s just started to get better; as good as it can be considering I got fucking shot by some jerk that apparently has a history with my boyfriend! I don’t even know what happened that day except for the fact that I was the one who was seriously hurt. As if that wasn’t enough. “If it’s as unimportant as ‘stuff’ can’t you just tell me now? Why does it have to wait?”
We halted at the edge of the road, Accel turning to face me with concern written on his face over my worried tone. Balanced precariously on the edge of the gutter, I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet, anxiously waiting for his answer. Loose grains of dirt under my converse crunched loudly in the tense air between us. Although I was still in arms, his grip had loosened, putting distance between our bodies. A car drove by on the road, cool wind tugging the strands of hair away from his eyes. Guilt racked me almost instantly as I saw a haunting hatred in his eyes. It was so easy to see it was self loathing, a depth of pain, sorrow and regret so deep that if I fell into it, I could never escape. Stepping backwards onto the road, I finally took time to drink in the sight of Ace.
It’s impossible to put into words how much I missed him during my stay at Westwood hospital, even though he visited me everyday, spending endless hours by my side. Snuck past security everyday and hiding in the bathroom every time the nurse came to check up on me more like. His frame seemed to have lost its vibrant energy, his clothes clinging to him dismally rather than fitting to him as if they were a second skin he had slipped perfectly into. His shoulders bowed as if he carried the weight of the world, punches of heavy darkness circling his eyes. He had changed the silver studs to black plastic ones and his usually immaculately styled hair looked slightly dishevelled, as if he had given up on perfecting it. With a small smile I noted he was wearing the skinny jeans he had stolen from me on the first night I met him, although they looked far more worn from how I remembered them. Untied acid green converse covered his feet, the black stitching matching a jacket patched with the same green.
I wanted him, craved him and needed him more than I ever had before and I couldn’t have him. Not if he was like this.
“AJ please stop looking at me like that,” he whispered, “I just want you to understand. You’re so naïve to everything… about me, about the world. I don’t want to hurt you, I want to protect you… especially after-” he squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a broken sigh. “I just need to talk to you about some stuff okay. I want to be honest with you coz I promised I’d never lie to you okay? Promised! Just trust me… please.” Staring at me, pleading, he extended his hand, waiting for me to clasp our bony fingers together.
Like you could have resisted anyway…
Nodding and keeping eye contact I entwined my hand with his, feelings of unease leaving me briefly when our bodies made contact. I don’t know exactly how he did it but whenever I was with him I was safe. I couldn’t doubt it. I had to believe it.
So the whole ‘getting shot’ thing was safe was it?
Shut up. I love him.
It’s not a matter of whether you love him or not Andrew. Honestly, you don’t doubt that. It’s a matter of whether you truly believe you can trust him enough to keep you safe. He didn’t tell you about Seth and look what happened. You nearly died. Don’t kid yourself about it, he may not lie to you, but he hides things. Secrets and little guilty pleasures of his. Seth was his secret. It’s worse than lying.
Stop it! Ace is more than that! Seth was an accident; part of his life that he can’t push out of his past as much as I can’t escape myself. He tried to protect me for fuck’s sake! He was the one who could’ve been shot, he practically leapt on the guy.
So it wasn’t just a mere coincidence that the gun was in his hands?
Stunned by the thought I stopped in my tracks. I hadn’t ever thought about it, it hadn’t ever brought itself to the surface before now. Ace jerked at the force of my stop and I grunted in pain when he rebounded back and hit my shoulder. Something clattered to the pavement from my violent halt and Ace picked it up, glancing at it and inhaling sharply.
“AJ?” he asked, waving a hand in front of my frozen body. “What are these… are these drugs? Andrew hey! Oi. I need to know! Come on, snap out of it! Did you take any of this? Andrew? You only took one right? Andrew? Shit…”
No! That’s a lie! You’re just trying to blame someone. Accel would never. I love him and he loves me. Fucking simple! Let it go! Can’t you just let me be happy for once in my life!
I would if you made the right choices! He is dangerous. I have every right to blame him. He is the reason you were there in the first place. The sole reason your life has fallen apart. TAKE A STEP BACK AND LOOK AT YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFE! How long has it been since you’ve spoken to your family? How long has it been since you’ve spoken to a friend? How many times have you been drunk since he waltzed right in? How many days has it been since you met him Andrew? Do you really love him or is it just an excuse to escape from the person you once were? Do you like who you are now? Are you happy? No. No. No.
Fuck off. Get the fuck out of my head!
You can’t fight me Andrew.
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!” I screamed, falling to my knees, clutching my head in my hands and ignoring the screaming agony of my chest.
“Andrew! ANDREW! Hey!” I heard Accel distantly somewhere in the background but I was too consumed by the war waging inside my head. Arms encircled me but I fought them off, terrified of being held down.
He did it. You know he did. It’s his fault.
“GET OUT!” I cried, tears of distress and white pain staining my face. I was going insane with the ridicule and confliction raging inside me. The arms returned, snagging me so tightly that I gave up struggling and fell helplessly into them, clutching thick material in my hands and burying my face in it. A hand forced my face from the thin t-shirt, a kiss consuming my lips. Tears still streaming from my eyes I sunk into it, the familiarity of Ace’s warmth suddenly clearing away the pain. As his tongue sent me into a lustful haze, a mind numbing hunger rose in me and I began to kiss him back with vigour. I needed him, needed him. It wasn’t just to satiate me anymore. If I didn’t have him I would die. Hands tangling themselves tightly in the folds of his jacket, I pulled him into me violently, a flush of desire wiping everything from my mind. Oh god, I had to have him. Ace attempted to detach himself from me but I yanked him back, hungry for him only. Swinging my leg over his lap, I forced him backwards until he was trapped under my body, drinking in the heavy scent of Ace. My hands pushed under his shirt, and I moaned as I felt the warm muscles underneath my cool hands, shifting and straining.
“Please Ace,” I whispered seductively, nibbling on his ear, “please.” Grinning, I moved my hands downwards to tug at the waistband of his jeans. Green eyes smouldered with confusion and passionate desire and I felt a shudder of pleasure go through me when I gazed into them .Why was he so fucking sexy?
“Andrew, princess,” he said in a strained tone, “you need to stop.”
“But why?” I murmured, planting a heated kiss on his lips, stroking and teasing with my tongue.
“Because,” he moaned, “We’re in the middle of a street and… mhmm… no stop! And… the drugs they gave you must have had side effects or something… AJ!” In frustration Ace managed to flip me over, somehow managing to avoid hurting my chest. “Stop. Now.”
I pouted, wiggling seductively beneath him, pressing my hips to his. “You know you want it...” I whispered.
“Oh my fucking God…” he groaned, shutting his eyes tightly and taking deep breaths, “baby you do not know how much I want you right now, but not like this. Just… ugh I need to get you home… Andrew!”
I pulled myself flush against him again, trailing hot kisses along the line of his throat until I caught the new lip stud between my teeth and tugged gently. “Come on… let me in,” I sighed, tickling his stomach.
Accel clenched his teeth. “Sorry princess, this might hurt,” he said in my ear.
“I like it rough,” I giggled. Yum.
Suddenly I was being carried, my head lolling ungracefully over Ace’s arm. How am I meant to kiss you from here dumb ass? I sulked, admiring the view of Accel’s strong jaw line and cheekbones. I really like you. My chest ached painfully but I didn’t care, I was off the ground. I noticed vaguely that a taxi had pulled up beside us, but brushed it aside, reaching upwards to pull Ace’s lips down to mine again but was rudely interrupted when I was shoved through the open door of the taxi to land ungracefully on the seat. Sex in a taxi? Interesting... if not odd.
Ace jumped in after me, fighting me off as I tried to push onto his lap. “Not now AJ,’ he spoke softly.
But why not? Now is perfectly fine, in fact now is perfect. I like now.
“Why not?” I asked, stubbornly tugging at his jeans waistband. Ace sighed, leaning forwards to speak to the driver, ignoring my hands as they squeezed his ass. Sexy.
“…and I’ll pay you double if you get there in five minutes,” he finished, slumping backwards and fighting to get the seatbelt over my body. “Stop moving AJ! Please… just five minutes and then I swear to God I am not letting you out of my bed all night.”
The taxi driver gave Accel a strange look at his words and glanced at me warily. I blew him a kiss in the mirror. You sexy beast, I laughed. Accel choked back his laughter and strapped himself in next to me, gripping both my hands in his so I wouldn’t attack him. Pfft. Weak.
Grinning evilly, I managed to swing one of my legs over his; leaning towards him I began kissing his neck slowly and heatedly. I listened as his breaths grew heavier and heavier and although he attempted to maintain his composure I could tell by the noticeable bulge in his- my- skinny jeans that my plan was working.
“God dammit” he seethed, chewing on the back of his lip stud. “AJ please, I am begging you to stop okay. Just for two more minutes? Fuck!” The driver shifted uncomfortably in the front and I felt the car pick up even more speed. Within one minute were outside Ace’s apartment block and Ace was dragging me out of the car, a twenty dollar note cast hurriedly on the seat behind us. Pavement, trees and grass rushed by me so fast I swear I didn’t touch the ground at all. Ace flung his door open after a moment of hurried key fumbling and practically carried me to his bedroom.
“This is your fault,” he warned quietly, walking me backwards in the dark room until my knees hit the end of the bed, “for being so fucking hot.” With a swoop he pounced on me, causing us to fall backwards into the soft sheets. Trapped beneath him I moaned as soon as his lips made contact, my shirt flying off within seconds.
Finally.