Trigger warning!! Self harm and suicide.. (No one dies tho)
Dean stirred in his sleep as soft sobs could be heard from the room next to his. He opened his eyes and listened to make sure he wasn't hearing things. When the sobbing returned, he got up.
"Cas?" He softly knocked on the door.
"I'm fine, Dean, go back to sleep," he heard Cas call back, his voice breaking.
"No you're not, I'm coming in," Dean turned the door knob and pushed the door open.
"No! Don't come in, please," Dean saw Cas hurrying around the room grabbing a dirty cloth and throwing something into his bedside drawer.
"Cas?" Dean started walking towards him, slowly as if he could scare him off with one drastic move.
"Dean, please, don't," Cas was shaking, pressing the cloth to tightly to his chest by his left wrist.
Dean stepped closer, he placed a gentle hand on Cas's arm and pulled it away from his chest. Blood was everywhere, nearly covering the scars. Some were still bleeding.
"Cas.." Dean said, not knowing how to deal with this situation. This was more of Sam's thing.
"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas started crying again and Dean pulled into into his arms. He softly cried into Dean's chest, getting his top wet, but it was the least of Dean's worries.
"Don't be sorry," Dean mumbled into Cas's hair, "you did nothing wrong."
Cas started crying harder and Dean started to wonder if he said something wrong, but Cas finally pulled away.
"Thank you, Dean. Lately I keep thinking everything is my fault," Cas looked down at his wrist and wrapped it in the dirty cloth.
Dean took Cas's wrist and led him out of the room. They walked to the bathroom together where Dean undone the cloth and turned the tap on.
"Get that blood off, I'd do it but I don't wanna hurt you," Dean said and turned to a cabinet which had clean cloths. He didn't want Cas getting an infection or anything from using a dirty one on fresh scars.
Cas mumbled a 'okay' and started rubbing the blood off with the water. When he was done, he went to Dean and watched as he wrapped his wrist in a cloth.
"You must be very disappointed," Cas said, breaking the silence, "you must've thought I was stronger than this."
"Everyone has hard times, Cas. You have it even harder. Being a human after billions of years of being an angel, I can't even imagine how hard it is," Dean finished with Cas's wrist and led him to Dean's room, Cas stood at the foot of his bed.
"I don't want you sleeping alone tonight, or for a while, I don't want you hurting yourself again. I've lost enough people," Dean said and Cas sat on the left side of the bed.
"I just wanted to go back," Cas played with the edge of the cloth.
"What?" Dean sat on the bed, resting his back against the headboard.
"I thought that if I die," Cas sat the same way as Dean, "I will be back with my family."
Dean gave Cas a puzzled look.
"In heaven," Cas added, "I would go to heaven, right? I am a good person, aren't I? I don't want to go to hell, Dean."
"Hey, buddy, you're not going to hell, or dying, anytime soon. But if you were to die, obviously you would go to heaven," Dean reassured Cas, smiling at the look of relieve on his face.
"I just want to be back home," Cas mumbled.
"Cas.." Dean turned so he was facing Cas, "you are home."
Cas's face lit up, a single tear ran down his cheek.
"Thank you, Dean," Cas said. Dean lay down on the bed, so did Cas. He placed his head on Dean's chest as if he did it every day before and went out like a light.
Dean smiled to himself. He had his Angel in his arms, alive and safe. Even though he wasn't an angel anymore, he would always be to Dean.