"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time..."
☆ Lady Antebellum, Need You Now
The hall is filled with strangers. As I look around for a familiar figure to saunt over to I recognise a few unmasked people; socialite friends of my mothers, Charlie's business partners and work colleagues but everyone else is a blur of random people.
Adam stays at my arm the entire time as I survey the place. My tummy grumbles when my eyes linger a few seconds longer on the buffet table. I was so full so nerves all day that I didn't eat anything.
"I think I see my parents, Maddy." Adam jerks my arm slightly pulling my gaze over to a couple on the other side of the hall.
"What are they doing here?" He wonders out loud.
I quickly say, "Go find out. I'm gonna get something to eat." My face is masked with a façade of confidence.
"Will you be okay?" I nod to reassure him.
Adam kisses my forehead before I watch with bated breath as he walks over to his parents, wondering why my mother invited them. This was surely some scheme of hers to show how royally rich we were in contrast to them.The last time I saw Adam's family was weeks ago!
I cringe inwardly and make my way to the buffet table but a dark figure corners me. Instantly I recognise that it's my father. Pulling my arm into the shadows of the brightly lit hall he says two words. Follow me.
"I have thought a lot about meeting you one day. I just never thought about what I would say to you when I did." He paces back and forth restlessly.
We're in one of the private rooms at the country club upstairs. It's furnished with a white wooden desk in the centre flanked by two plastic chairs. I sit on the desk staring at the empty bookshelf against the wall infront of me.
I quietly reply, "I want to know the truth."
He looks at me startled, as if seeing me for the first time. In slow steps he makes his way to the chair next to me and sits down. I can see how agitated he is from this distance. His fingers tremble slightly and his arm twitches every now and again almost undetected save for the close proximity between us.
"I was twenty-five years old. My life was a mess when I met Diane. She tried to save me but I couldn't even save myself. She fell pregnant, had this fantasy that we would get married and have a happy family."
He stares at the beige carpet while talking. "I wasn't ready but I married her anyway. It didn't work. I was just too messed up. I wasn't ready to be a husband. Or a father." He looks up at me at this point trying to gage my reaction. I give nothing away. He adds, "I'm still not."
I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. I feel numb. He looks at me waiting for words of response.
"Wow. You know I only found out about you when I was fourteen. I tried to contact you. But you... You knew I existed this whole time and you didn't even bother to find me." My voice is neutral and controlled.
"You wanted the truth. This is it." He looks down again, unashamed. I study him now in the small light of the room, carefully taking in every detail of this man: my father. His eyes are dark with crinkle lines and huge bags under it, his hair even darker; showing no signs of old age. It's his face that gives it away. His face is covered with a full grown beard with wisps of grey weaving through. But I can still make out that I have his lips. And his smile. Wow. So this is my father. This decently dressed man in a checkered grey suit hiding his black, ugly heart away from the world.
"What changed?" I snap and my voice pitches suddenly revealing my true emotion of utter rage. He frowns. "Why did you decide, after all these years, to contact me now?"
He hesitates before standing up and walking towards me. I shiver when he places a hand on my shoulder. "I need your help babygirl." He voice is soft as though he is trying to calm me down.
"There's a few bad men from my past who are after me. I owe them quite a bit of money. Your mum, she wouldn't help me when I heard she got married to the rich and powerful Charles de Beers. She refused to help me out. But I need your help."
Disappointment seeps through me. He only met me for his selfish purposes. This bastard of a man. How dare he be so brutal and selfish!