*Tiana POV*
" Hum~I was wondering...hum...
-What is it? Tell me !
-Are you solo?" Then I laughed in the microphone. Jay was giving me a thumb up as I was trying my best to put some feelings in it.
"What would you do if it was the case?
-Well, if you wanna know..." I was suppose to go first on the stage in my black skinny jeans, White sleeveless AOMG crop top and my blue and red shirt with my black High heels. I was so stressed that I must have almost broken the microphone with my hand. Jay probably saw it so he leaned toward my ear and whispered.
"Just imagine I'm your old partner. Imagine we are 5 years ago and you're still a professional, it's just a little performance with your usual partner!" I looked at him and he winks with a smile. I looked at the stage and took a deep breath before going on the stage. Instantly, "solo" started to be played. Jay was just behind me and he started to sing.
We acted a kind of push and pull scene as we were dancing. I did as Jay told me, whenever he whispered to me or touch me intimately, I imagine I was 5 years ago in the dance studio with JongIn Like this I managed to put some feelings in it. Suddenly when he made me spine the pain in my shoulder started to come back. I ignored it and kept on dancing the best I could. If I just stop here, all the event and everybody 's effort will be spoiled. As the performance end with Jay kissing my neck, the crowd screamed and I was pretty proud of the performance. Jay took my hand and pulled me to the backstage. As soon as we weren't on stage anymore I released Jay's hand and ran to the dressing-room since I still had a performance. Honestly when I saw the outfit for the performance I wanted to tell Jay to find someone else but it wasn't like I had never wore those kind of clothes and I had to do it for JongIn's event. So I put the mini black shorts and the golden bra on. I took the black see through kimono in my hand and rush to the stylists for them to take care of my hair and makeup.
When they finished taking care of me I put the kimono on and ran to Jay who was already waiting for me. He was topless with just some jeans on. I looked at him from head to toes and when I came back to his face he was smirking.
"Like what you see?
-OMG I'm gonna dance with Jay Park topless! Somebody pinch me, just to be sure it's not a dream!" I faked fangirling and that made him laughed.
"Is it a hint of sarcasm that I'm hearing here?
-No~Never!
-Young woman, there is lines of women who dream to be at your place.
-True, but I'm not like any woman.
-.....
-Did you say something?
-No." I was sure he has said something and I was about to insist but Zico and Paloalto came off stage and it was our turn. The staff gave us microphone and they started to throw my previous outfit to give the impression of Jay undressing me. I let out some fake whimpers and laughed.
"Jay what are doing?!
-I'm taking you on a trip!
-What are talking about? What kind of trip?
-A new kind of trip, you don't need to pack anything just trust me!" Then we could hear "sex trip" be played and Jay pulled me by my hand on stage.
This performance was probably one of the most sexual that I did since a very long time. At first it was just act as if we were lover so Jay was faking whispering in my ear while he was singing and I was responding by biting my bottom lip and played with some stand of his hair since my arms were around his neck. He was holding me firmly by my waist and played with some strands of my hair. I was kind of enjoying it, it reminded me of the old time when JongIn would do this while I was cooking or when we were watching TV. It was really the best moments of my life....with the moments I sent with Jason.
During a moment all my past and problems rushed in my mind with the pain in my shoulder growing. Thankfully, Jay spun me to make my back face him and I recalled that I was performing. I started to body roll with Jay. His pelvis was in sync with mine and the song was coming to an end. It was when the crucial part was coming. I bent down and Jay grasse by hips. He then leaded them from right to left. Just like in the lyrics, I put my hands down and my ass was still up, then I slipped in a split and roll to be on my back. I opened my legs, lift my hips in the air and Jay bend over me between my legs. he grabbed my butt and I was kind of surprise but I did as if it was nothing. I laced my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips as he carried me. Like this we left the stage with the crowd's shouts and applause. Jay dropped me and immediately as he did I was ready to whoop his ass for grabbing mine like this.
"Park Jaebeom, You...." I so wanted to tell him what I thought about what he did but my shoulder was really painful. His previous smile faded when he saw me wince as I was holding my shoulder.
"Tiana, are you alright?
-Y-Yes, It's nothing, I'll just get change and after a great sleep, I'll whoop your ass!" I tried to joke but it was really painful.
"Do you want me to look for Giovanny?
-Y-yes, please. I'll be in the changing room." he nodded and ran away.
I entered the changing room and started taking off the golden bra to put a black one on. I put my shirt on with some difficulties but I was kind of used to use just one hand. As I was going to put my shorts off, the door opened. I was expecting Jay so I just stopped undressing and started to hide my underwear.
"Jay, can't you knock before coming in?
-You were expecting him?" I stopped in my track and turned around.
"JongIn?
-Yes, It's me. Maybe you'll be happier if it was Jay?!
-What?! What are you talking about JongIn?" He came closer to me and seemed really furious.
"What I'm talking about? I'm talking about you and Jaebeom almost fucking on the stage! I'm talking about you enjoying it!
-What?!" He can't be jealous right now?!
"JongIn, It was strictly professional, ok? Nothing more than doing the per..." I stopped talking, it was as if my shoulder was on fire. I tried to control the pain but it was hard.
"Professional? HIM GRABBING YOUR ASS IS PROFESSIONAL?
-JongIn....Let's...let's talk about it tomorrow...When you'll be calm and I will feel better, ok? I'm tired right now and....
-No! You can't run away like this Tiana! Do you imagine how I felt looking at you on this scene with him?!" "No, I don't....I don't! Because what you did to me was even worse so no I don't know how you feel, I can only imagine it's maybe half of what I felt!." This is what I wanted to say but I couldn't. No words were coming. Every time I tried to tell something, there was just whimpers coming out of my mouth.
I decided it was better if I just go find Giovanny so he would understand because I couldn't explain it to JongIn if he was in this state. I went toward the door but when I tried to open it, JongIn grasped my shoulder and turn me around by pulling on it. I swear, the whole Korea must have heard me shout. My legs gave up because of the pain. I was cowering on the floor with some tears in my eyes and JongIn was looking at me with worry and shock but these feelings were soon replaced by anger as Jay and Giovanny opened the door. They looked at me and both knees near me.
"Tiana! Why are you on the floor?!
-I....Sh...shou....shoul...der..." He looked at my shoulder and then at JongIn.
"What happened?!
-I don't know! As always, when I wants to talk to her, she has something wrong!" I didn't have enough energy to feel hurt at his rude comment. I was just hoping the pain would go away.
"Do you think she is acting right now?! Are you mad?!
-JongIn...
-YOU SHUT UP" Jay looked at JongIn and then at me. He lift me in his arms easily.
"I'm taking her to the hospital.
-No, Jay I'm going to....
-Gio, you have to perform in less than a minute. Tiana will feel guilty if you can't because of her." Gio looked at me and I nodded. He hesitated but gave up. He put his hand on Jay's shoulder.
"Ok, I count on you to take care of her. I will join you as soon as I finished." Jay nodded and Gio ran to the stage. Jay was about to go when JongIn stopped him.
"Jaebeom, I'll take her to home and...
-No! I think you already have done enough for today." I could see JongIn frown. He tried to come closer but Jay step back.
"You'll have all the time to talk with her another day, since it's that important!
-Tiana..." I didn't even look at him. I turned my head toward Jay's chest. I can't believe he was thinking that I was faking being seriously hurt!
Jay turned and ran to his car with me in his arms. He put me on the backseat and drove to the nearest hospital. As we went through the rooms, I had a familiar feeling. It's when I saw the woman who took care of me last time. She recognize me and immediately she rush me in a room. She gave me pain killers after Jay explained to her that I couldn't really speak because of the pain. I could feel the pain killers going in my vessels. I love this sensation, it's magic. During almost half an hour, I was lied in the bed, looking at the ceiling. It's when the doctor came back, that I decided to try to sit.
"So what happened this time?
-I...It's nothing. It's just an old fracture and wrench that never really healed.
-Ok, so I will give you some patchs to put on your shoulder everyday, pain fillers too and you must not move your shoulder. Be careful!
-Yes, I will. Thank you doctor." she smiled at me.
"I saw that your previous wound healed well.
-Yes they did.
-Each time you're going through these doors, a man is carrying you. last time it was your fiancé!" I saw Jay's eyes opened wide and the doctor laughed.
"I'm taking the patches for you and then you can leave." She left the room like this, leaving me with a shocked Jay.
He took a chair and sat beside me. He looked at me with curiosity in his stare. I was already waiting for his question.
"Your fiancé? She was talking about JongIn, right?
-...He's not my fiancé.
-Really?
-Yes, he must have said that to her but it's not the case." He nodded.
"Ok, so what are you, you two?" I looked at him. I looked for the right answer to give. Girlfriend? Not really... Fiancé? No...Parents of the same child?....HELL NO.... I then realize I didn't know what we were.
"I don't know.
-Really? if you're gonna lie you can just tell me it's none of my business.
-I am not right now! I don't know what we are. There is so much going on these days and I have no time to think about what label I should put on my relationship with JongIn!
-But you love him, right?" I lowered my gaze.
"You love him and he loves you, right? Isn't it what we called a couple?" This is when I couldn't help but chuckle at his silly statement.
"It's not that simple Jay. I might sound like a bitch but...love is not enough! Love is never enough. You can love somebody nd never be able to be a real couple." He frowned.
"What do you mean?
-I'm talking about trust and respect. To be a real couple, love, trust and respect is required. If you only have love, it's not enough." He was about to talk when the door opened on Giovanny followed by the doctor. I don't know why I was expecting JongIn to be with him. I should have know he wouldn't come since he assumed that I was faking it. I don't need him anyway, I never did!
"Tiana! Is everything alright?
-Yes, It's just the old same pain.
-I told you, you shouldn't have done it!
-I had too. Nobody could do it but me!
-So what?! You want to go back to two years ago?" I felt shiver travel in my whole body. I could see Jay frowning more.
"I'm not going back...
-YES, YOU DO! Tiana let's go back in USA.
-I CAN'T! I can't for now..." He frowned and pass his hand in his hair.
"Tiana, I'm really worried.
-I know. I'm sorry for worrying you like this." I opened one arms and he hugged me carefully.
"I don't like you being here knowing he is somewhere in this city. Did you tell him about Jason?
-No...I didn't. I'm not planning to anyway. I'll never be ready for that." He release me and then took the bag the doctor was giving me.
He helped me up and we left the hospital after I signed some papers. We bid goodbye to Jay and he was looking at me with sad eyes. I hopped in Giovanny rent car and I told him that I was supposed to take Jason from JinYi's house. He followed my instruction and Jason went toward Giovanny as he saw us. he didn't even glance at me. I was really hurt but I can only blame myself. I'm not a good mother, nor a good friend.
I opened the door of the apartment to be welcomed by JongIn. As soon as he saw me he stood up. I turned toward Giovanny. I tend my arms so he would give me Jason but he didn't.
"Tiana, Your shoulder!
-It's ok, give me Jason.
-You can't carry him like this...
-GIVE ME MY SON!" Giovanny was surprised. He put Jason on the floor and my son just ran away from me. He ran to his room and closed the door. I turned toward Giovanny and sighed.
"I...I'm sorry Gio. I'm really tired. Let's talk tomorrow.
-Yes, ok." He kissed my forehead, gave JongIn a cold stare and left with his hands in his pocket.
I left the door open for JongIn to leave but he didn't. He was there looking at the floor, shifting on his foot. I didn't even had the energy to argue this night. All I wanted was sleeping. I closed the door and past in front of JongIn. I went in my room without giving him any attention. I got change in my oversize top using just one hand and it wasn't that hard now since the pain killer was still working. When I turned to go to my bed JongIn was just behind me.
"Tiana...." Once again, I ignored him. I just did as if he wasn't here and went to sleep. I cover my body with my blanket and all I was waiting for was JongIn leaving.
"Don't forget to turn the lights off When you leave." I heard him sighed. I couldn't say if it was a sign of relief because I finally talk to him or a sigh of frustration because after I ignored him, the only thing I'm telling him is to leave. I felt some move on the mattress.
"Tiana, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have suggest that you was faking being hurt....
-If you are done, please leave.
- I want to talk with you.
-And I want to sleep.
-Tiana, please. I'm sorry! When I saw you on stage with Jay, I just...I just thought that maybe you prefer a man like him." I remove the blanket and looked at him. He seemed so guilty but that didn't make my anger go.
"Wh...Why the.." I tried to keep my calm. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and then opened the again.
"Why did you think that?
-You...You were avoiding me this morning so I thought "maybe she decided that I was too much trouble or that I wasn't a suitable dad for Jason." and when I saw you dancing with Jay just like we used to before, I couldn't take it. I was just so mad at you, at him, at myself. I...
-First of all, I wasn't avoiding you. I had a bad day yesterday, so I prefer to drown myself in work to forget about it! I never ever thought that you wasn't a suitable dad for Jason." He looked at my eyes and bite his bottom lip.
"I'm so sorry Tiana, I understand that you are angry..." This is when I lost it.
"NO YOU DON'T! YOU CAN'T! When we decided to be a "us" again we said we need to trust each other and I tried the most I could! But the more I do, the more I discover awful things. But YOU! I haven't done anything to make you things that I would ever think of cheating on you! I was....I..." I was literally out of breath and I could feel tears coming. I turned to make my back face him and I hide under the blanket.
"Tiana, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, please...
-Leave me alone.
-But..
-This is why I can't tell you about Kevin or Jason's father!" This is when he went silent. He didn't answer anything nor move. All I could hear was the sound of the rain outside. I can't even remember when he started to rain. I like that sound, it's soothing and I feel like even the sky is sharing my pain with me. I dreamed of bottle of soju but I can't take any with the pain killer. Soon as I was listening to the drop sound I fell asleep, without even giving any stare to JongIn.
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I'm so sorry, I haven't post since a long time but I had exams and after that I went on a trip to Manhattan with my parents so I had no time to properly write. Ah~ well, I hope you enjoy this chapter (I'm going to write the next one just after I post this one)
Hum~ Honestly I started writing a new Story, still a AMBW but with Jay this one. It's a kind of strange and I'm still trying to figure out how to do the exact kind of story I want. I made one of my good friend look at the first chapter and she liked it so...Maybe I'll be updating two stories! :)