When we arrived back to Camelot, I still felt surprisingly anxious. I had hoped that the skirmish in the forest was the thing my magic had been warning me about, but why, then, would I still be so worried? When we were leaving the woods, I had felt light, happy, carefree, as if the danger had passed, but as soon as we passed through the gates, it came back, stronger than before. It had felt like somebody punching me in the gut, that realization. It had actually hurt, and the pain felt physical, even though it was obviously a mental one.
Arthur and I had just ridden through the gate when it happened. There were a couple people there, nodding and smiling at us. I knew most of them, and the others recognized me easily as the king's servant. My eyes passed over the small crowd of people who were heading in or out of the city, and I felt a large grin spread over my face. I loved watching people, with their smiles and cheerfulness, going about their daily life, as if nothing was the matter with the world. I even agreed with them at the moment... but the next moment I saw her.
It had been years, but that face was one impossible to forget. It was round and childish, eyes wide with feigned innocence. Her eyebrows were thin and long, and her complexion was pale, like mine, but with a blush that never left her cheeks. Her nose was slightly too large, but that didn't take anything away from the girl's beauty. Especially after seeing that smile. It used to light up all of Ealdor, when those perfect lips parted. Just seeing the childish glee on her face, made everyone want to join along with her smile, or laugh. She looked no different now than she had all those years ago, and that must have been at least seven years ago. She wore a light blue dress, with a darker bodice. A couple strands of her hair fell over her face, and when we met each others eyes, the lightest of smiles touched her lips.
Just then was when the pain came. A pounding in my head that made my entire body feel like it was on fire. I hardly even noticed that I was pulling back my horse, until Arthur seemed to be much further away then before. I wanted to go catch up with him, but I couldn't move. I was frozen in place, staring at the girl, not noticing myself shaking. There was so much pain, in my head, in my stomach, all over, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even move.
"Merlin?" I heard Arthur's voice ask, but I couldn't answer. I couldn't tear my gaze away from her, but the strangest thing was that I hadn't even seen her eyes flash the golden color that meant she was casting a spell. It was me. There was something wrong with me.
Finally, I felt myself stop shaking. I didn't notice my eyes closing, just that there was sudden darkness, and I never felt myself falling off of the horse. Everything was just quiet.
I don't think I woke up. I only heard them speaking. Their voices were full of worry and confusion, but I could still make most out.
"Gaius, what's wrong with him?" Arthur. Arthur was here, standing over my bed. Or at least, I thought that I was lying down, maybe not. Still, Arthur being here made me strangely happy. It meant that he cared, even though he would never say it to my face.
"I don't know." That was Gaius. His usually calm, neutral voice, was masked with confusion, but I would recognize him anywhere. There was a rustling sound, and suddenly Gaius's voice was next to my ear.
"Merlin. Merlin, do you hear me? I need you to wake up, Merlin. Just open your eyes." I tried to, I really did, but it took so much energy. The darkness of unconsciousness was weighting down on me, trying to drag me back under to that comfortable place where it was all quiet, happy dreams, but I knew I couldn't. Gaius wanted me to wake up. Arthur needed me to wake up, especially with her around. I really only had one choice, and that was to continue struggling.
I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't budge. it was like someone had attached tiny weight to my eyelids. They were so heavy. I felt them flutter though, if only for a moment, even though I still couldn't open them. I heard Gaius breath a sigh of relief, and Arthur muttered something under his breath, but I couldn't make it out.
I tried to speak -although I don't know what I would have said- but no sounds came out. Instead, a sickly sweet liquid filled up my mouth and nose, and I felt like I would have choked, had somebody not lifted up my head. Now there was some room to get air in, but everything was so loud. Someone seemed to be groping around the medicine table for bottles, and they were all clanging together. Another person was shouting into my ear. Yelling at me to open my eyes, but I couldn't make out the voice, and I didn't want to be here anymore. I let the waiting darkness drag me back under, but this time, there were no dreams.
I woke up -this time- from complete darkness, to more complete darkness. I just about felt the scratchy blankets and hard mattress of a bed that wasn't my own, and I quickly knew who's bed it was.
Actually, the bed didn't really belong to anybody, it was one of the patient's beds in Gaius's room, which must have meant that I was a patient. I wondered how bad I had been, but I felt much better now. After all, I had opened my eyes, and was slowly making out the area around me. All was normal. It must have been directly before sunrise, because it was so dark. Gaius snored quietly in his bed on the other side of the room, which was lit by a single candle.
The only non normal thing I saw was a silhoutte standing by the door with golden glowing eyes, and whisps of unkept hair. I tried with difficulty to lift my head, but succeeded this time, and stared at the figure. It was her, again, and I didn't understand why she wasn't trying to kill me. I closed my eyes for a couple moments, and by the time I opened them again, the girl was sitting on the end of my bed and the first rays of sunlight were beginning to appear in the room. Gaius would wake up soon and then she would have to go. I wanted her to stay, to keep me company, even though I didn't understand why.
In a moment, she looked down at me, and noticed me peering up at her.
"Merlin!" She spoke quietly but sounded pleased. I tried to answer with her name, but my throat felt so dry and sore.
"Shh." She put a finger to her mouth as if she knew what I was trying to do. She was always a couple years older than me, and when we were children that was how she would act, "Don't even try to speak. You're recovering." I nodded, although it was difficult. "Now go to sleep again, Merlin. When you wake up it will all be better." I complied, and sleep enveloped me at once.
I opened my eyes to a bright room. There was nobody inside, but quickly approaching voices from the hallways. I made them out easily. Arthur and Gaius, talking about.... me.
"When will he get better?" Arthur asked.
"I don't know if he will." Gaius answered, and I could literally hear the age and desperation in his voice.
"He has to." Arthur answered, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
The footsteps stopped right outside of the door, and I heard someone take a couple deep breaths, as if preparing himself.
"Arthur..." Gaius began, "Remember that-" But Arthur cut him off.
"Yes, you reminded me about that every day of the last week. He's not.... No, Gaius." Arthur sounded really depressed. Something must be terribly wrong, but I didn't think I had the strength to get up and join my friend. The door slowly creaked open, and Gaius entered the room. He seemed to be avoiding looking at me, but of course he had to check everything. He had to make sure I was still alive. Pretty soon, he was next to me, still trying to keep from looking at my face, and it was difficult for me to not laugh.
Arthur stood by the doorway, in the same place that the girl had stood before. He was also avoiding looking at me, but he did once Gaius had arrived. Once he did, it was difficult to describe his face. A clash of uncountable emotions were there, as he stared at my face.
I saw relief, disbelief, happiness, and even a little bit of anger, all there. I wondered what the anger was from. He was probably just annoyed that I had scared him so much.
"Gaius." His voice was nearly a whisper.
"Arthur, I need a moment. Merlin's pulse is stronger than it's been all week."
"Gaius." Arthur said again. This time Gaius looked up, and Arthur nodded at me. Gaius looked down at me, and his emotions looked even stronger than Arthur's. It was a nice feeling, to know everyone cared so much.
Arthur had to leave as Gaius was talking to me. I supposed he didn't want his man-servant to see what he was feeling. Although it was a bit of a letdown, it was better for me. Made things easier. I watched Gaius's lips move, but hardly heard him speaking. No, this was far too important.
I spoke, and Gaius was instantly silent. Or, his lips stopped moving, anyways.
"Gaius, it's time I told you about Tessrach."