Heyyy guysss I'm posting to celebrate my last day of freedom. So I saw that Monster inside Peter Pan reached 13k reads!!! I honestly didn't think it could reach so much so thanks a lot :)
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<<<Day 7>>>
The sun's glaring beams had already dried up the night's pearly dew on the grass when Adelina woke up the next morning to the sounds of the lost boys talking loudly as they trickled out of their rooms. Watching each lost boy that wandered even slightly near her cage with hopeful eyes, she was bitterly disappointed to find that no one would bring her something to eat for breakfast. Her stomach was sending stabbing pains through her body and it felt as if it were devouring itself from hunger. Needless to say, that morning passed excruciatingly slow. The stench, the gnawing hunger, the thirst, the ache in her back, the heat, everything making the morning seem interminable.
Just as Adelina had been despairing that Neverland's timelessness was playing tricks on her, she heard voices, chattering and laughing, starting to come back to camp as the lost boys returned from their morning training session to eat lunch. She'd never been so happy to see Felix as he brought her half a loaf of bread and some jerky. Oh and thank god, water too.
"You look horrible," he said as a form of greeting.
"If you're expecting a sarcastic response, you're going to have to wait for until after I've eaten." Her eyes were fixed on the food as she answered in a raspy voice, dry from the lack of water. He handed her the bread and jerky through the larger space between the bars made for food transfers. "Oh thank god, I'm starving," she breathed as she tore the bread in half and wolfed it down, barely wasting any time with chewing.
Felix sat down in front of her, looking st her with a mixture of confusion and distaste. "You miss one tiny meal and you're that starving?"
Adelina rolled her eyes. "Not one meal," she said between two mouthfuls. "It's been more than a day since I've eaten anything. So yes, I'm hungry. Sue me."
The grey eyed boy frowned. "But Ryan-" He cut himself off as understanding washed over his face. "Oh... I see." Felix chewed the inside of his lips, as if wondering whether he would say something or not. Finally, he said, "I guess I should apologize, I should've known Ryan would've done something like this to get revenge."
Adelina nodded, less interested in his apology than the water he handed to her. Felix was looking her expectantly, as if he were waiting for her to say something. "Um," she started, unsure of what to say. "I accept your apology?"
Felix nodded, seeming relieved. "So, if I dare ask," he prodded, shifting around in the grass, "what did you do to get Pan pissed off enough to throw you in here?" He jerked his chin towards the bars.
Adelina wasn't pressed to answer as she took her time downing the water he'd brought. Once satisfied, she smacked her lips together in contentment. "So you know how I needed new clothes?" she started explaining. "Two days ago, I went to Pan to ask for new clothes and well...he finally gave in and gave me new clothes except-"
"Wait," Felix interrupted, "when you say he gave in..?"
"We made a deal. I owe him a favor..." she trailed off as he shook his head in disbelief. "What?" she asked defensively.
"You owe him a favor?" he repeated incredulously, as if he couldn't believe she was so naive. "Do you have a death wish or something?"
"No," she said stubbornly. "And it's nothing, just some small favor. Besides, if it's unreasonable, I can say no."
Felix laughed derisively. "Unreasonable? To a psychopath like Pan, murdering an entire city could be deemed reasonable. Whatever he'll ask you to do will be wildly unreasonable, but to him, it would appear perfectly sensible."
"Whatever, forget it," she said more harshly than she intended. "It's done anyways so there's no point worsening the situation." Adelina tucked her knees to her chest, looking at the ground.
Felix almost felt bad for the girl. "So if you made a deal, what pissed Pan off?" he prodded, not liking the uncomfortable silence. He had never been much of a conversation type of guy.
"That bastard gave me clothes alright," she muttered, not lifting her glare from the ground. "But when I checked, I saw that he'd given me only dresses, stupid, girly dresses that were impossible to wear in a jungle. So I went back to him and-" a small smile drew itself on her lips, "I might've got carried away a bit..."
"So he locked you up because you yelled at him?"
"Yeah right," Adelina snorted. Her eyes were fixed on the ground as she played with a stick, doodling shapes in the dirt between the bamboos. "Nah, he didn't seem to mind. If anything it amused him. But of course Pan refused to give me decent clothes, so yesterday morning, when you were all at practice, I broke into his room and took one of his shirts and pants." Adelina stretched out her legs to show him her shirt and shorts, indicating them briefly with a wave of her hand. "See? I cut them up a bit and had to take a belt but now at least I've got new clothes. And then that brings us to what you and probably all the lost boys witnessed."
Felix was completely silent so Adelina glanced up at him and saw that he was looking at her in complete shock, him mouth hanging slightly open. "You broke into Pan's room," he said in an awed voice.
"Yeah."
"And you stole his clothes."
"Mhm."
"And then you cut them up and wore them in front of him, not caring about the consequences."
Adelina nodded. "That's about right."
"Are you crazy?" Felix exploded. "Do you realize that Pan has killed lost boys for less than that?" He gestured uncomprehendingly at the cage. "And yet all you get is locked up in this cage for a day."
"What do you care, anyways?" she shot back acidly, suddenly remembering what Pan had done to Cedric. What he surely had done to all these poor children. And what Felix surely had done too.
Felix's brows scrunched up in confusion at her sudden outburst. "What-?"
"You know don't you?" She glared at him. "Of course you know, you're his second in command." At his still uncomprehending expression that made her even angrier, she snapped, "I found out what Pan does to punish these poor children. He mutilates them! And you don't seem to be against it either!"
His expression darkened, whatever small bout of friendliness he'd shown earlier was long gone, replaced by the mask of compete imperturbability. "What would you want me do? Rebel? Against Pan?"
I don't care what you do," she spat. "Me, I'm going to get out of here, no matter what it takes, and I'm going to take all of them with me, so that Pan can't hurt anyone else."
Felix's eyes seemed to hold a storm within them. "And just how are you going to do that? None of them will want to leave." He spread his hands, letting out a cold bark of unamused laughter. "And need I remind you that there is no escape from here? Pan holds all the keys."
"Well aren't you just his little bitch," she growled.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me," she challenged. "You're his loyal little lapdog, aren't you. So blinded by him, completely brainwashed until you end up just saying what he spoon feeds you himself. You're completely dependent of him."
"You have no idea of what you're taking about," Felix thundered. "What you call blind and unconditional obedience is actually loyalty. Because he saved our lives. Without him, we would all be living our lives separately, all rotting in our own hells called home."
"More like he's gotten you all under a spell," she muttered.
Before anyone of them could say anything more, a hand fell on Felix's shoulder, silencing both of them. Looking up, Adelina met Pan's steady, hard gaze.
Felix got up promptly, dusting off his pants as he did. "I'll leave you two to it then," he murmured. Sharing a meaningful look with Pan, he left.
Adelina watched him go rather regretfully. She shouldn't have lost her temper with him, he'd been getting friendlier, which had meant that she had been that much closer to help escaping. Or perhaps, she thought, her little outburst would be enough to make him see through Pan's manipulation, to make him see sense. Yet, even if her heart struggled to hold on to that hope, her logic told her that there was no way Felix would ever change his mind about Pan.
The devil himself braced his hands against the frame of the cage, leaning against it as he peered at her through the bars.
"Good afternoon little miss sunshine," he grinned. "How do you feel?"
Adelina glared up at him, not at all in the mood to play along to his stupid little mind games. "Seeing that I've been shut up in this stinking too small cage for more than twenty four hours, I'm feeling quite dandy, thanks for asking."
"Oh psh, don't complain," Pan waved a dismissive hand. "You're small compared to some of the lost boys. Imagine them having to be cramped up in there," he reasoned, an eyebrow cocked upwards.
"Oh wow, thank you. I'm feeling so much better now," she replied acidly.
Pan studied her with his piercing eyes. Those green eyes that held such a vibrant color that she would swear they could shine in the darkness. "I have a deal," he stated bluntly.
"I've already made a deal with you and I'm already regretting it."
"Well this is a new deal," he told her patiently. As she didn't respond, he explained. "You have two options," he counted them off his fingers. "Either I let you out now, and you're stuck with the clothes I've given you, or, you stay in here another day and I'll provide you with the clothes you want." He patted the cage and shrugged carelessly. "It's your choice really."
Her back lanced with pain at a sudden movement and she winced, which didn't go unnoticed by Pan. "Isn't there a third option? One where I don't have to stay in that cage?" she asked, trying to massage her sore back with one hand as well as she could.
"Oh, you want a third option?" he crooned. He eyed her up and down, he's eyes traveling all over her body in an indecent way. His smirk widened as she inched away. She recalled how Ryan had looked at her the day before. "I think you already know what the third option is," he purred. Adelina crossed her arms over her body tightly, trying to cover herself up as much as she could from his eyes. "Spend one night with me," he hummed, his gaze finally leaving her figure to meet her eyes. "One night, and then I'll give you the clothes you want, and you won't ever have to spend another day in that cage."
Adelina shivered as she remembered what Ryan had said. It was disgusting to think that Pan was so used to getting girls to sleep with him - whether out of deals or simply by his looks - that Ryan and certainly many other lost boys had presumed she'd already slept with him. That more than anything hardened her resolve. No way was she ever going to let that happen. Did they all really believe she was some kind of slut? "You're not really giving me a choice," she spat with enough venom to melt through metal.
His sultry demeanor disappeared as his eyes danced with amusement. His lips curled into a grin and he stood up with ease. "No. Not really."
"Fine," she huffed, laying back down on the ground as her heart sank at the thought of another whole day in here. "I'll stay in here for another day."
"Perfect." And just like that he turned around, leaving her alone in her putrid hell.
Having nothing else to do, she watched him cross the clearing through her lashes. Watched his sauntering, arrogant and confident walk. Watched how he moved, gracefully and with ease, never tiring, never feeling the uncomfortable sweltering hotness of the sun, left virtually unaffected by his surroundings. But the opposite could not be said. Indeed, wherever he went, the lost boys had an unconscious reaction, the lowering of their voices, not meeting their king's eyes, submitting themselves. It wasn't really their fault, it was just Pan who had an aura of power and darkness, along with the arrogance and attitude.
And she hated him.
She couldn't really explain it. It was more than just her loathing for what he did to those children, for all the lives he'd taken. It was even deeper than that, something buried deep inside herself, something instinctive that she couldn't control. It felt like she'd been made to hate that psychopathic asshole. But oh, how she hated him.
For many hours, Adelina gazed up at the sky with unseeing eyes, not wanting to think, as her thoughts would be best left unthought, so she left her mind carefully blank. Time flew by as if she were in a trance, the sky darkening steadily as the stars peeked out of the velvet cover. She knew that her time locked up was almost over, all she had to do was fall asleep and when she woke up it would be Pan letting her out, but she couldn't. Her back was still in pain, the smell was still as horrible and she was hungry again. Ryan had once more eaten up her diner in front of her, and it had taken all of her self control not to throw something at his face. Her stomach gave a low, plaintive rumble as she remembered the sweet smell of the soft, golden eggs and freshly baked bread. Only the smell of urine kept her mouth from salivating at the memory.
"Let me guess, Ryan ate it all up in front of you again, didn't he?" a familiar voice said.
Adelina looked up, surprised. She hadn't expected him to care if Ryan ate her food, much less do something about it, especially after that afternoon.
"Listen," he began as he settled down on the grass in front of her, handing her a plate of golden scrambled eggs and freshly baked bread. "I can understand why you would feel the way you do about Pan, but I also know that neither you or me will change their mind about him." Adelina nodded, chewing thoughtfully, wondering where he was going with this. "Still, that doesn't mean we can't get along, you and me." He looked at her shyly, an expression she'd never thought to see on his face. "So, how about we call a truce?" He stuck out his hand for her to shake.
Cautiously, she set down her fork and reached through the bars, taking his proffered hand. "Wow, um..." she finally said, "I don't really know what to say. This was rather unexpected." Felix smiled, a slow, yet honest smile. "Why would you want to befriend me anyways?" she asked. "In case you haven't noticed, Ryan doesn't really let anyone speak to me."
"An in case you haven't noticed, I don't need to do anything Ryan wants," he reminded her, not answering the question.
Adelina was silent for a while. "Can I ask you something?"
"Go ahead."
"People keep talking about the previous girls that have been here. Where are they now? What happened to them? And why does everyone keep thinking that I'm sleeping with Pan?" There was much going on in this island that she didn't even begin to understand.
Felix smiled ruefully. "I think you already know the answers to those questions."
"They're dead, aren't they?" she said, her voice hollow.
He nodded gravely. "Pan brings one girl in Neverland at a time. As you can see, he's quite the charmer, also very talented with manipulation. He always chooses the girl very carefully so that he knows she won't resist him for very long."
"Resist him?" Adelina repeated blankly.
Felix smiled, obviously uncomfortable. "Well, this isn't something I should be saying in polite company." The way he spoke sometimes, with snags of old English, she was reminded that Felix was much older that what he looked. "He, uhh... he brings in these girls to satisfy his needs." His gaze was on hers, almost pleading her to understand his meaning, for he didn't want to rephrase himself.
"Oh. Oh." Understanding swept over her. That explained so many things. The way the lost boys looked at her with disdain, contempt... "And then he just kills them?" Felix nodded. "But none of them ever just tell him to fuck off?" That's the part that she had a hard time believing.
"In the beginning, yes," Felix explained. "But as I'd said, Pan chooses the girls carefully, he knows they won't resist him endlessly, and he's right. The longest a girl has ever stayed here is two months." He looked almost apologetic. "That's why the lost boys have such low esteem for girls, since the only ones they ever see aren't the most flattering representations of your gender."
"Pan's an ass," she muttered under her breath.
"I can agree with you on that one."
Adelina looked up at him. She didn't understand the guy. How could he be loyal to Pan, yet still be aware of all the monstrous things he does? "Felix, I know we called a truce but," she gestured helplessly from her spot in the cage, "isn't there a way to escape this place?"
His silent grey eyes softened. "I'm sorry Adelina, I was telling the truth. There is no leaving Neverland without Pan's accord."
It was nearing midnight, she knew it, the silver moon was high up in the sky, with no sign of any other moon but the stars' golden flicker. It was late, and usually the camp was dead silent at this time of the night, every lost boy gone to bed or sent on patrol. But not this night.
Tonight, the campfire that was hidden from her view behind the trees was burning brighter than any night before. She heard cheers and laughs emanating from the center she couldn't see, hooting and cheerful yelling. Not long afterwards, drums started beating, a rapid, tribal rhythm that was soon to be joined by random shouts and hollers. The sound of wood hitting wood reached her ears, as if they were hitting sticks together, mixing in with the shouts and the energetic beating of the drums, creating a sort of beautiful foreign music that belonged in wild places like Neverland, in free places, happy ones. Ones who drifted alone in a world, a family, a village knitted together for strength, their unique music, invigorating and energizing, celebrating their independence from the world.
Adelina hadn't known that the lost boys held parties, and she hadn't expected them to seem so fun. She only heard the sounds and, judging by the shifting shadows on the jungle's edge, guessed that they were dancing around the campfire. She felt a strange lure to the freedom that sang in the music, the sensation of letting go speaking in their elated yells. She regretted having to be caged for the first party she could've attended, and idly, she wondered what was the cause of the celebration.
Grass rustled under someone's boots as he neared her cage. Suddenly alarmed, she squinted at the approaching unknown figure, but whoever it was was cast in the shadows as the campfire burned bright behind him. All she knew was that it wasn't one of the elder lost boys since this one had a much smaller and thinner frame.
"Who is it?" she called out guardedly, hating her own inability to protect herself in the damned cage.
"It's Cedric," the boy whispered back, settling himself down at the door of her cage.
Wow, so many visitors in one day. "Oh, hi," she said awkwardly, wondering why he'd bother visiting her. Whatever the reason, she didn't mind, she had a certain fondness for the child.
The small boy sat down cross legged in the dampening grass, leaning his back against the corner of her cage. He didn't say anything, his eyes were fixed on the firelight dancing behind the trees. "Are you happy here?" he asked suddenly, shifting his gaze to her face.
"Uhh- Excuse me?" Was this some kind of trick or something? Was Pan listening in and would punish her if she said no? Why would he? He already knew the answer didn't he?
"It's okay," he coaxed, "I understand. I'm not happy here either." Cedric had that broken air around him, from the defeat in the slumped slant of his shoulders, to the miserable downwards curve of his mouth, to the dark circles of insomnia under his bagged eyes.
"But I thought everyone was happy here. I thought nobody wanted to leave," Adelina blurted, confused.
Cedric shook his head. "If you're not happy here, you can't let it be known, or else Pan makes you regret it."
"But isn't Neverland your home?"
He shook his head woefully. "When I was eleven years old," Cedric started explaining, "well - when I was an actual eleven year old, not just having the appearance of one - my best friend disappeared, and two days later, so did his little brother. I was an only child with my abusive father, and Michael was the only real friend I had," he said in a hollowed voice, his eyes were lost once again in the fire dancing behind the trees.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. She wasn't sure why; it wasn't her fault, yet she felt compelled to say something.
Cedric gave her a rueful smile. "Michael was always like that; apologizing for everything even when it wasn't his fault. So you can imagine, when Pan brought back to Neverland his little brother Gabriel only two days after he'd brought him, Michael beat himself up, thinking it was his fault, that he'd torn Gabriel from their family and that he'd endangered him by subjecting him to Pan's - well - to Pan. But the brothers were happy together, without their parents. They fit in perfectly, but when I arrived in Neverland while following Michael's footsteps-"
"How did you manage to get to here?" she asked, interrupting him before she could help it. She had no idea how the lost boys got to Neverland, she couldn't even remember her own journey here.
"I broke into Michael's room in the middle of the night," he said matter of factly. "The police said they'd found nothing indicating to where the two brothers had disappeared, but I had to see for myself, so I broke in while everybody else was sleeping, and found the note Michael had left saying that he was leaning for Neverland. Of course, the police hadn't considered it at all, but that had been enough for me. I called out to Pan while standing in front of the open window, said I believed, and the next thing I knew, I was flying." Cedric looked down at his hands now. "But you see, I never really fit in. I may have come from an unloving family, but I don't possess the adventurous streak that you need to live in Neverland. I've always wanted to leave, but Pan refused to send me back. Michael was the only reason I didn't k- the reason I didn't search for an escape. But now Michael- now he's-" his voice failed him as he choked on repressed tears.
"But now Michael's dead," Adelina finished for him. "And you're searching for a way out." Cedric nodded miserably.
"And that's why I came here..." he wrung his hands nervously. "I know that you want to leave this place as much as I do, so I wanted to ask you if you'd be interested in a cooperation."
"Cooperation?"
He nodded. "If you find a way out, you have to take me with you, and the same goes for me," he explained.
"Are you even sure there even is an exit? Everyone says that there is no way out."
"There has to be," he said determinedly. "I've started searching for a way out two days ago. Haven't found anything yet, but that was to be expected. If there's really is an exit, Pan would've hidden it cleverly."
"But what if we never find a way out?" she voiced the fear that had haunted her since she'd learned Pan wouldn't send her back home.
Cedric's expression darkened. "Then I'm better off dead."
"Don't say that."
"Then don't ask questions you're not prepared to hear the answers to," he replied curtly. At her affronted expression, he said desperately, almost pleading as he gripped the bars so tightly his knuckles turned white, "Listen, I can't stay on this island anymore. It's messing with my head, so bad. I've only been here four years, but I feel old, too old. I feel like I've lived for too long, witnessed too much violence and bloodshed. If I don't leave soon, I think I'm going to go crazy."
"How soon?"
"Very soon," he said darkly.
Adelina shook her head hesitantly. "I don't think I'll be much help, I barely even know this island-"
"Of course you'll help," he insisted. "You're friendly enough with Felix, perhaps you could prod around, ask him a few questions."
"It's just that-"
"What have you got to loose?" he asked her, desperation clear in his voice.
How could she break it to him? Had he come even a few hours earlier, he would've found her eager to start the search. But Felix's honest gaze on her as he told her that there was no way out had bludgeoned her hope. Yet, as Cedric looked up at her, hope and desperation shining in his eyes, she knew she couldn't let this boy down. She shrugged. "Nothing, I guess."
Cedric smiled. "So will you help me? Search for a way out?"
She hesitated for a little bit longer. "Okay," she said rather reluctantly. After all, Cedric was right, she didn't have much to loose.
A broad smile blossomed on his young face as she agreed. "Partners?" he asked excitedly as he slipped his hand through the bars for her to shake.
She suppressed a smile at his eagerness and took his hand in hers. "Partners," she agreed.
Cedric had left at least an hour ago and yet the lost boys' party was still going on. Laying on her stomach, Adelina let her eyes wander absentmindedly, watching the boys' shadows against the jungle's edge had a hypnotizing sort of effect. Her eyes were fluttering close as the sounds of the drums and yells drifted farther and farther away, as if they were echoing from another world, a great distance separating them. A silence had filled her ears, yet if she concentrated, the drums could still be heard like a faraway shout.
She must've fallen asleep for a while, for she was woken up by a sound her ears had picked up. Yet, as she listened, it was all silent now, the lost boys all gone to bed.
Suddenly, a low, hauntingly sweet sound filled the air around her, a sound so gentle and lovely that it nestled in her heart and elated in her chest, making her want to burst from the overwhelming beauty and mystery of the sound. Then, it stopped, only to be replaced by a slightly higher note, then another, and smoothly, notes melded together to create a tune.
A pan flute, she realized through the thickness of sleep, finally recognizing the instrument.
The sweet music filled her body and flowed through her bones, yet in between the beauty of it was hidden a hint of sadness, creating an intense longing in her chest for something she didn't know.
The song spoke of a loss, or not so much as a loss as a longing for something unknown. The song weeped through its notes, clutching and despairing for something to come back, something that it had never possessed. Something it had only ever heard of. She wanted to burst from the emotion behind the music, yet she couldn't quite identify it. The music clearly spoke, yet she just couldn't precisely grasp its meaning, like seeing something in the corner of your eye, knowing it's there, knowing the general picture yet not knowing at the same time, unable to focus on it no matter how much you tried.
She was breathless as the song came to an end, and her heart wrenched as it did, left feeling lost and empty like the song had felt, unable to untangle herself from the hollowness in her chest.
Who could play an instrument like that? Who could entwine such emotions in a simple flute, transforming everyone who heard it into a being of suffering and yearning for something that didn't exist?
Adelina could only find one possible answer to her own question, shockingly fitting yet wildly doubtful.
How could Pan, the psychopath who didn't feel anything, convey such emotion through a pan flute?