Today, after school, I stopped by Alex's locker. I was going to leave another note, and I saw Alex had left another note for X.
"?"
I smirked to myself before writing my note.
"I know some things that Justin really wants kept quiet. Do you still want me to stop writing you? I'm not being rhetorical. Answer me. - X"
That seemed almost scary, I know. I want her to be a little bit scared. It's not as if I'm bluffing either. I really am going to tell her something that she doesn't know about Justin. The only thing I feel bad about is the fact that it will hurt Justin. Justin doesn't even know that I know. Thank God Justin doesn't know that I know.
My entries are getting short. I've been trying to keep up with my homework. There is so much. Everything else is seeming normal. We haven't been doing anything out of the ordinary. Justin and Alex are dating, and still haven't gotten over the fling stage. Jamie and Jesse are still strong as ever in there relationship. Ella is still a dumb follower. Piano lessons are still boring.
My life is boring. Not my thoughts, though.
I don't think that I have a boring life. Other people would think of it as boring, just looking at me. But if they knew all the things that you know? I honestly don't want to know what they would think of my life. What they would think of me.
Crazy? Evil? Terrible? Sinful?
I think of me as all of the above. I don't need it reassured by anybody else. It's bad enough as it is. I have so much homework. If my parents knew I'd be dead. I have to get caught up. If only I spent more attention to my studies than I did Alex, maybe I wouldn't be failing.
We all know that that won't happen anytime soon.