Date: 17th March, 2016.
"Appreciate everything. Appreciate it when you go out on the street
and the light is green, appreciate it when someone gives you a small candy,
Appreciate every compliment you receive, appreciate the love people give you,
Appreciate every breath someone takes before they tell you something because
they took it for you. Appreciate even the bad things because there's no better thing
than balance and balance doesn't exist without bad things. Appreciate balance.
Appreciate your life. Appreciate yourself."
ALASKA'S POV
I sat on the edge of my bed and was waiting for Blaze and Liam to show up. My soul was restless, I could not stop fidgeting. I was tapping my foot on the floor but somehow, being still was a difficult fast.
The shock of discovering what had happened had passed and now I was left vanquished and tired.
A few minutes after going through my Instagram feed to distract myself, the bell rang. A few seconds later voices filled the home.
I opened the bedroom door which had been locked since I got here and I could hear Kyle shout, "Blaze!"
That little dude must have missed Blaze. They were really close.
"Hey bud." I could hear Blaze say and my stomach filled with butterflies.
Was it his voice or me being nervous, I didn't know.
I tip toed down the staircase and leant again the wall, crossing my arms, watching all of them interacting with each other. I hadn't seen Kyle so exited and joyful in a while. It was nice, at least someone was happy.
Happiness is weird. When you're happy, you don't value it but when it's gone, everyone around you looks happy and you're just left there, jealous that they are happy and you once were.
A while later, the boys came up and claimed their spots on their regular places. I sat on the bean bag and looked down, at my hands.
We sat in silence for a while and they did not push me to say anything, nor did I make any eye contact.
"So a while ago, I was talking to my mom. Right after you left." I looked at Blaze, making eye contact for the first time in fifteen minutes.
"She told me the nightmares I get aren't completely my imagination. It actually happened."
Liam raised him eyebrows and in looked down again, embarrassed that I felt so weak.
"When I was six, I was kidnapped and they had me for months. They hit me, abused me and touched me." I started, disputed, my jaw clenching.
"When the police and my parents found me, I was hit pretty hard on my head and bleeding. Once I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't even recognise my parents. It took me months to relearn everything." I said and tears were freely running down my face. I wiped my face harshly, not wanting to cry in front of them but the tears just won't stop.
I didn't bother to wipe them out again because the new ones would replace the old tears.
They both listened, shocked. I guess they hadn't expected this, I didn't either.
The worst things in life come free to us, huh?
None of them said anything for a solid ten minutes.
Blaze ran his hand through his hair, furrowed his eyebrows and asked, "Why don't I remember this? We were best friends way before you were six."
"I don't know, maybe because you were six and didn't understand anything?" I guessed.
Liam snickered and I glared at him.
"What?" I asked him, more like snapped.
"That sounded so sarcastic. Oh and Blaze not understanding a thing." Liam chucked and Blaze took this opportunity to hit him on the back of his head.
Words of comfort were passed and hugs were shared. Seeing it was really very late, Liam left promising to meet me the next day and Blaze was going to stay over in the guest bedroom.
We lay in my bed though, talking. Talking to him calmed me so much. We always end up talking about random things. This time it was about dictionaries.
"I have so much respect for people who make dictionaries." I told him. "Like it's someone's job to literally describe every word in the English language and put it in a book. Like if I had to do it, I would be so sarcastic and rude-"
Before I could continue, Blaze interrupted me saying, "When are you not?"
I ignored him and continued, "I would be like Sky: That blue fucking thing over your head, dumbass."
Blaze chuckled and pulled me closer to him. "You should write a dictionary. I would read it." He said, still chuckling.
"Yeah, well no thanks." I said rolling my eyes.
He moved closer, snuggling next to me and hid his face in the crook of my neck.
He randomly spoke up, "Do know know what happens to nitrogen during the day?"
"Ugh. Not another chemistry joke."
"It is not, I swear!", he exclaimed childishly, his lips against my neck making me feel all sorts of things.
"Fine, what does?" I answered to appease him.
"It becomes Dayrogen." He chuckled.
"Ugh, I'm going to bed." I said.
"Good nitrogen." He mumbled, and my body felt as if it was on fire.
To humour him, I said, "Sleep titrogen."
Blaze laughed and replied, "Don't let the bugs bitrogen."
He moved closer if that was even physically possible and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. Butterflies exploded in my stomach and I kissed his forehead, closing my eyes.
Soon, soft snores filled up the room and I threw one of my leg over his waist deeply inhaled his scent.
He always smelt so good.
I fell asleep with a smile on my face and I was glad I had someone like Blaze in my life, on whom I could rely on, no matter what.
+ + + + + + + + +
It was cold and dark, as always. It was so scary. I stood there frigid.
I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to return to this place, ever.
I widened my eyes as I looked around, feeling more lost than ever. My anxiety levels were high, through the roof. The effect was dizzying. I stumbled around, my hands stretched ahead, looking for a wall, a switch, anything.
The ground was muddy and irregular, but as I kept on walking, it got more solid, like concrete or floor tiles, I couldn't tell.
There was a sudden gush of wind which spread chills on my back. It was so dark but chilly too.
I looked up and I could see stars, but no moon.
Might be a blue moon night.
As I walked further, the surroundings got clearer. I looked around once more, trying to recognise the place. Nothing. I couldn't recollect anything at all.
And yes, it was so terrifying.
I walked ahead thinking the road will lead somewhere safe, but oh boy, I was wrong. So so wrong. As I walked further, I could feel the air changing. It became heavier, thicker and more dense, filled with humid. It got mustier. There was this aura of darkness surrounding it, making me feel unsafe than ever.
As I walked nearer, I saw a warehouse. Negative vibes were reflecting off its surface and in that millisecond, I decided that I didn't want to be there anymore. I turned around to run but I couldn't. There was something in the warehouse pulling me in, towards it and oh God, the pull was so strong that I couldn't escape.
Still, experiencing what always happened there, I forced myself to turn around and walk away.
With every step I took away, I got weaker.... and weaker.
There was a point where I fell on the ground, all the energy draining out of me and the blackness consuming me.
With a lot of strength, I stood up shakily and walked towards the warehouse, here was no going back now, shit was about to go down.
As I entered the place, the cold air blanketed me and the perspiration on my forehead was impossible to ignore.
I looked around finding an exit to escape before they could find me.
I walked lightly, taking extra care not to make a single sound. There was an exit far away, at the back of the warehouse and for a second, I felt relieved but before I could even lift my leg to take my next step towards freedom, a hand came out of nowhere and covered my mouth.
"Trying to go somewhere, sweetheart?" An old, ragged voice spoke up.
No shit, I was planning how to turn this place into the house of rainbows and unicorns, I thought to myself.
The man picked me up like a old rag doll and slung me over his shoulder. "Let's go to our little safe haven, shall we?"
"We shall not", I said and he let out an irritated voice but other than that, there was no reaction.
He walked for a long time and my stomach hurt because of the creepy dude's shoulder jabbing it.
A while later we entered the room and soon I was set down, I got tied to the wooden chair. The man, whose face was clearer than the first time I saw him, was pacing around the room.
"Waiting for your soulmate or what?" I asked, voicing my thoughts.
"Shut up, bitch." Jace spoke up.
(Mum told me their names too. Jace and Aiden).
I waited there silently. I mean, I had no choice. My moth was now duck taped because apparently I was 'speaking too much'.
The second man, Aiden, walked in and said, "Is the girl here?" and the Jace lifted his finger in my direction.
"Hey, it's rude to point!" I said, but it came out muffled.
The start was as usual, normal beatings here and there. Some gashes which would severely hurt me.
But today, there was a metal pole there. After hours when they got tired of using me as their punch bag and me being helpless, not able to do anything, they untied me. I stood up with shaky legs but fell back down. There was too much dizziness and blood loss, I couldn't help it.
I tried again and I wobbled a bit but I could stand up.
"You are going to hell for this." I told the men, venom lacing my tone as they ripped off the tape from my mouth.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a religious person but yes, I do believe in God. And karma.
What does around, always comes back to haunt you and bite you in the ass.
I spluttered out things I shouldn't have and for each word I said, it made them angrier.
I was finally getting a reaction out of them so I kept on going, unfiltered.
Telling them how shitty people they were and how it was pathetic to find pleasure in someone else's pain. I loved the feeling I got when I saw anger in their eyes.
But before I could speak more, they decided they had enough.
Before I could comprehend hat was happening, a blur op brown hair had rushed in the direction of the pole and hit me hard on the head.
It all happened so fast and the next thing I knew was I was lying there, in my own pool of blood. Getting weaker by the second, slipping into unconsciousness, I tried to stay awake. But I couldn't, I was loosing control so I let go.
+ + + + + +
"Nov! Nov!! Wake up!" Blaze's sound brought me back to the present.
The first thing I did after opening my eyes was checking the back of my head, Alright. I thought.
"Where am I?" I asked in a panicked tone. I looked around and calmed down when I saw I was in my own bedroom. "What happened?" I asked, frantically.
"Are you okay?" Blaze asked, his eyes darting around mine.
"Yes, just a bad dream." I sighed, my face and hair wet with perspiration.
Blaze wiped away the tears from my face which I hadn't even noticed and ran a hand through my hair, easing out all the knots.
"Want to talk about it?" He asked me with genuine worry and I nodded my head 'yes'. I did want to talk about it.
I doubt I could go to sleep again.
"So it started out similarly yet differently this time." I could see him nod his head and I picked at the loose thread of the blanket. "It was cold so I walked around and long story short, the Jace and Aiden, the abusers, ended up beating me, as always but this time, I angered them.
I said pretty mean things and crossed the limit so one of them hit me hard with an iron rod on the back of my head. I died." I tried to stay calm when I said it, but as I recollected the almost-real dream, made my voice tremble and my shoulders shake.
Blaze pulled me in and sat me in his lap in such a position that I was straddling him. He pecked my forehead and let his lips linger there for a moment.
"I'm here for you, Nov. Anytime, anywhere, anyway." He said.
I couldn't control it, I let my tears fall. I cried about everything. I clung to him like second skin and all that could be heard was the sound of my sobs.
Especially how Blaze would never love me the way I do.
Yes, I'm sure of it now. I, Alaska November White was in love with Blaze Scott Ryder.
He hugged me close and hummed a tune in my ear, rocking me to sleep as if I was a baby. And I loved it, loved being there in his arms, loved smelling in his familiar scent, loved how safe and secure I felt there and most of all, I loved that I could think that everything will be alright and things would work out like they are supposed to.
____________________________
So from this chapter, I'll be posting the position of the book at the end of every chapter. This is for me, I want to keep a track of it. I am not trying to brag or anything. Peace out.
Current Position: #1 on Teen Fiction List
Also, you guys should check out Enigma written by horanx13, it's pretty awesome.
All the love,
Pia xx
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