Avi's P.O.V.
When I wake up the next time it's because I'm a little bit cold. Well, not entirely, my front is nice and warm because that's where Mitch is lying, cuddled up against me. I carefully move so I can take a look at him. He's sleeping soundly and that is something that makes me smile. He looks so beautiful when he's sleeping. His slender body moving with his calm and rhythmic breathing, facial features relaxed and peaceful. I could keep staring at him for a long time and would still discover more little things about him that I didn't know already.
I think back to our movie night. How we started with a simple, yet cute, movie and ended up in each other's arms and then shared another beautiful hug afterwards. A hug that I had offered, wanted. Back to when we started talking. When Mitch started talking.
Hearing Mitch talking about possible feelings towards me should have sounded weird to me, maybe. But it didn't. Yet, I was faced with a problem. I could've tried to let him down easily, could've told him that I only see him as a friend and that it wouldn't change because I am into women.
I didn't. I decided otherwise. I told the truth, revealed what I felt about the past moments we've spent together. How I used meeting his date at Starbucks as an excuse to touch him, feel him. How I really enjoy being with him and how I'm questioning everything, yet am not sure about how this will all end up.
We might be standing directly in front of the staircase, maybe we even made our way up the first step with cuddling up tonight, but I'm afraid of what stepping up the stairs will bring, how it might actually change me.
I sigh deeply and look down at the brunette in my arms once again. I feel utterly comfortable and this is more than enough for me at the moment. I hope Mitch had understood me right and would help me figure out what I want, try to clear this foggy mess of feelings up for me, with me.
But I am so scared to hurt him. What if my feelings are just something that happened in the spur of the moment? What if I'm attracted to him solely because he gives me attention, because he cares for me? I don't want to cause him harm. He's so important for me, I need him in my life. Yet, I'm not sure which position he should have in it. Band member and colleague? Friend? Boyfriend? I don't know, I'm confused.
I'm lost in my thoughts when I feel Mitch stirring in my arms. I focus back on him and smile when I see his eyes fluttering open.
"Hey, Mitchie" I whisper calmly.
Mitch's eyes meet mine and light up. "You're awake" he states. "I woke up earlier and you were sleeping soundly. Must have fallen asleep again."
I nod. "Somehow I felt so calm and relaxed when you fell asleep during the second movie."
He winks at me. "I was so warm and comfortable inside your arms and slept really, really good. You snore, by the way. Only a little bit, though. I think it's adorable!"
I blush a tiny bit at his compliment. Mitch somehow knows how to make my heart beat quicker.
"So... are you like really awake or do you want to sleep more?" I ask, trying to change the topic real quick and thus conceal my uncertainty.
"'What time is it?" He asks and grabs his phone from the coffee table. "Urgh, 3.30! More sleep, definitely!"
I chuckle at the cuteness that is Mitch Grassi. "I second that, but we should get you into a real bed."
Mitch nods. "Yeah, that's a good idea, Daddy." He sits up slowly and rubs his eyes. "Damn, I'm dead tired."
I get up as well and stretch my limbs. "Come on, I'll show you to the guest room." I stretch my arm out to help him up and then walk him up to the spare bedroom which Kevin and I have set up with a comfortable king-sized bed and everything else that is needed if someone is staying over. It is always prepared, just in case.
"I'll lay out some towels and a fresh toothbrush in the bathroom, if you want to go before sleeping. Apart from that, feel free to do whatever you want, if you wake up first" I explain to him. "And if you need something, you know where to find me."
"I will. Thank you!"
"You're welcome. Good night, Mitch!" I turn to leave him and go to the bathroom but he stops me.
"Avi?"
I turn around once more and look at him. "What's up?"
"Can I have a hug? A good night hug?" He looks at me with puppy-eyes and I can't help but step up to him and pull him into my arms. It's a long hug, just like the first one we shared two days ago.
It feels good to have him that close, his body melts into mine and I don't really want to let go. But I'm tired and we need to go to bed to get a good night's sleep.
"'Good night, Avi" Mitch whispers into my ear before letting go. "Can we have breakfast together before I need to leave?"
"Of course! I won't let you drive home on an empty stomach, Mitchie" I return. "Good night. Sleep tight!"
"You too, Avi!"
I make my way into the bathroom first, quickly brushing my teeth and then laying out everything Mitch could need. Afterwards I retire to my own bedroom, lying down immediately. I'm tired, yet my brain wouldn't shut up. My heart had told me to take Mitch into my own bed, to cuddle and be close to him. But my mind, my brain had told me to go to bed alone, which was obviously the right thing to do, although it doesn't seem right to me right now. I felt so comfortable in his proximity, whenever I was interacting with him I was so sure about everything, right now I'm not.
~
I wake up after a fitful sleep and decide to get up after quickly checking my phone. Nothing new. I quickly look around the house to see if Mitch is already awake. It doesn't seem like that so I decide to take a shower and prepare breakfast to lure him out of the bed.
Once I have tidied up the remnants of the night before, I set the table outside on the patio and go to the kitchen to prepare a nice breakfast for the two of us. Once I'm almost finished and only need to fry the eggs, I go back up the stairs to check on my guest. I knock softly but when I don't get an answer I slowly open the door.
"Mitchie?" I ask softly, smiling when I see his small figure lying in the huge bed, with his back turned to me.
"Mmhm... Morning" he hums sleepy and turns around slowly. "What's up?"
"Good Morning. I'm preparing breakfast, if you want to eat something" I explain. "There will be coffee, too!"
"Yes, thank you. Just give me a few minutes to wake up. I'll simply come down then."
I nod. "Yep, I set the table out on the terrace. The morning sun is beautiful out there."
"Okay, Daddy. See you later."
Downstairs I fry the eggs and prepare coffee for the two of us. Once I've carried everything out and am satisfied with the assortment of breakfast items in front of me, Mitch makes an appearance. He is looking good, I love the make-up less, slightly dishevelled version that is morning Mitch.
"That looks amazing" he exclaims when he looks over the table. "Thank you."
I smile at him. "You're welcome. I promised you breakfast after all, didn't I?"
He shakes his head in disbelief and sits down on the bench next to me. "I really mean it. Thank you for last night, for listening to me and for talking. It really means a lot to know where you stand, where we stand."
"It means a lot to me, too. I still am everything but sure where this journey will lead us. But at the moment it feels good and I hope we maybe can just continue to explore, if you want to?"
"Yes, definitely" Mitch says without hesitation. "We'll figure this out taking babysteps. Just stay in the moment, enjoy the feeling, because that's what I'm doing."
I nod my agreement, yet I'm not entirely sure. "But what if I hurt you during the process? What if things don't turn out the way we want to?"
"You won't hurt me, Avi. You're way too thoughtful and sensitive" Mitch ensures me and then takes my hand, squeezing it softly. "And now come, let's have breakfast, Mummy is hungry."
I squeeze back and smile at him, glad for his assurance. "Yeah, let's eat" I then return. "Dig in. I don't know about your breakfast habits so I just prepared a selection of things."
"See? You're thoughtful about everything" Mitch states. "Even if it's just breakfast." He winks at me and then takes some scrambled eggs.
I load up my plate as well and together we eat in silence. My thoughts wander back to last night and the staircase again and I can't ignore the slight hint of anxiety.
What if I want to climb the staircase with Mitch, but am afraid of heights?
~~~~~~~~~~~