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I had decided I wanted to be alone tonight.
I didn't want to call my friends and talk about my "date" with Dom.
I didn't want to talk to my family.
And, I didn't want to see my wolf.
I just wanted peace.
And quiet.
So I slammed the front door and ran up to my room.
I needed to think.
What the hell was I supposed to do?
I had the most popular, and by most teenage girl standards, the best looking guy in town, begging for my attention.
But he was an asshole.
A hot asshole...
But an asshole.
He tried to force himself on me last weekend!
He was out of his mind drunk and tried to force himself on me!!!
What the hell was wrong with him!?!?
And let's not forget about my birthday! He did the same thing!
Twice!! Within like, 2 weeks!
And now he was pretending to be all sweet and caring...
What is a girl to do?
And then there's Travis...
My wolf.
This connection I had with my wolf was there long before I knew he was a man.
But he was still a wolf...
...Most of the year...
Unreachable - Untouchable - Unrealistic
Physically and Emotionally.
Well, it was decided.
I shouldn't be allowed to have a love life.
That's it.
I won't date.
End of discussion.
I wasn't meant for it.
Too many complications...
Too much drama...
I'm too awkward, and inexperienced.
So... Then it's settled.
NO MORE BOYS.
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I couldn't sleep.
I tossed and turned for hours.
The little sleep I did get was interrupted by nightmares and left me drenched in sweat.
I rose from bed early, partly because I had finally given up actually getting any sleep and my mind was running wild, with thought of passion, fury, love, and terror.
Part of my sleeplessness was also because I could feel Travis outside my window.
Waiting...
and pacing...
and waiting...
And pacing...
And waiting....
for me to come out.
I had truly given up on the thought of sleep when I heard his howl.
Mournful and lonely at 5 am.
He had also given up.
Since we were both failures at sleep tonight I decided to start getting ready for school.
Man, did I hate Monday's.
Like, who decided that Monday should be a thing?
When did the suckiness of Monday start sucking?
The 1500's? The 1750's? 1910?
Or was it like this since the dawn of time? Since man started working and going to school everyday?
UGH...
Anyways, I picked put an outfit while I listened to my Classic Rock station on Pandora.
I basically listened to all types of music, but this morning I was in the Rock n' Roll kinda mood.
One of my favorite Guns N' Roses songs came on, which made my Monday morning partially less sucky.
I picked out a warm Navy blue sweater, plain black leggings, grey leg warmers, a light blue and purple paisley pashmina scarf and my black Doc Martens.
I jumped in the shower, scrubbing away all the restlessness and sticky sweat of my slumber.
When I was finally ready for school I walked out to car with my coffee, backpack, and Violin over my shoulder.
I noticed him.
He was sitting in his usual spot, the one he sat in during our nights together.
The moment I stepped outside his ears perked up and he lifted his head to sniff the air, as if he recognized my scent.
Of course he recognized my scent.
Travis did say he had a good sense of smell.
That's how he found my room, when he had never been there before.
That's how he had found me all those times I had been hurt in the woods, and even when I was stranded outside the club on my birthday.
He watched me with questioning eyes as I got into my car.
I put all my stuff into the back of my Jeep and brought my coffee with me to the front.
As he sat in the woods about 100 yards away from me, I watched him back.
I watched him with a yearning and with a desire I only felt around him, but also with sadness, beacuse he and I would never be.
He also seemed sad.
Could wolves look sad?
Yes, I decided they could.
So I decided to break the sadness and smile and wave at Travis as I turned the ignition.
His head tilted to the side and he seemed to have perked up at this gesture.
It's wasn't like I was mad at him, just that I was going to avoid all boys; human or animal, at ALL costs.
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Well, that wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be.
When I arrived to school Dom was already leaning against my locker waiting for me...
With flowers!!
UGH!!!
Why me!?!?!
I'm trying to avoid boys! Not receive flowers from them!
"Hey Beautiful!" Dom said with a beaming smile and chipper tone.
I rolled my eyes.
Was he on some sort of happy pills? It was wayyyyy to early to be that happy and enthusiastic.
"Hi Dom." I mumbled, through a mouth full of coffee.
"Sooo... I thought these were pretty, like you!" He said as he smiled down at me.
I almost scoffed at how cheesy that sounded, but I thought how my Mom would tell me how rude that was, so I held it in.
He handed the flowers to me as he kissed my cheek. I took them and put them on the top shelf of my locker.
No way was I going to hold those things all damn day.
"Thanks Dom." I said while putting some books away and grabbing the ones I needed.
I placed my violin case in the locker and was about to close it when he asked, "Hey, what's that thing?"
"My Violin." I replied blankly.
"Woahh, really? I didn't know you played the Violin..." He said in wonder or amusement, I couldn't be sure.
"Yes. I've played since the 3rd grade, if you paid attention maybe you'd realize these things." I replied coolly.
He looked down at his shoes, maybe that was too harsh...?
"Oh. Cool. Is it hard? Is the case always that big? Like a big black rectangular box? What kind of music do you play? Are you in the Orchestra?"
"Wow. Curious much? So many questions. Yes. Yes it's hard, but when you practice it gets easier and even fun. No all cases are different, just like the people playing their Violins and the Violins themselves. This is just my case, it's big because I like to carry my music in it. And I play the music my teacher gives me, sometimes I write my own music, and sometimes I learn to play my favorite songs. And yes Dom, I'm in the Orchestra here. That's why I have it in school. Why the sudden interest?" I was out of breath by the time I finished answering all his questions.
"Well I'm just trying to get to know you, and understand the stuff you like, and you know, I don't know. I'm just curious because I want to know more about you." He replied.
"Oh. Well okay, it's just weird, you've never cared before." I said.
"Well... I do now!" He exclaimed as he grabbed my hand.
I stared down at our intertwined fingers and clasped hands in complete shock. What the hell did he think he was doing?
"I'm gonna walk you to class." He said nonchalantly as if he had read my mind and answered my question perfectly.
I shook my head.
Just fantastic. I was doing really great at avoiding boys so far...
NOT.
And just as I has this thought, I realized everyone in the hall were staring.
At us. At me. At our hands.
EVERYONE!!
Omfg@$!#&*@@!/#!&
No. This can't be.
I quickly let go of his hand.
Dom looked down at me and frowned, but continued to walk beside me.
I felt a little guilty, but that was embarrassing!!
And what right did he have to hold my hand through the halls of school!?! It's not like he was my boyfriend!
Maybe he thought he was... But we'd only been on one date!!
And that certainly shouldn't call for hand holding in public...
No.
We arrived to my torturous 1st period Math class with Mrs. Ryan. Thankfully I shared this class with Mia and Belle.
"So, will you sit with me at lunch today?" He asked as he pulled me to the side of the hall right outside my classroom.
"Umm... yeah, sure. We'll sit with you and your friends." I replied, basically inviting my friends and his into this
intimate moment between us.
He chuckled, "You know, I don't really care if any of my friends or yours sit with us, I just want to make sure I'm near you." He said with a smile and leaned down too quickly for me to react, and plopped a wet kiss onto my cheek.
What was it with this guy and kissing my cheek!!!!????
Ugh.
I smiled tightly and trudged into class.
"Krystal! So nice of you to grace us with your presence. Please, no loitering outside my classroom. Especially when your are showing public displays of affection." Mrs. Ryan said almost too enthusiastically for this early in the morning.
The class erupted in laughs and giggles and snickers.
Great. The whole school thinks Dom and I are a thing.
Are we a thing?
No. We're not. Not ever. Ew. No.
No. No boys! I have to remember to day strong!
"Girl! What in God's name is going on? We've been calling you since last night! How was the rest of your date!? And WHAT was all that PDA about!?" Mia blurbbed loudly into my ear.
"Ah God. Why is everyone so excited and yelling?!" I glanced up at the clock. "It's not even 8 am yet. Like Jeeze. I'm barley awake. And I couldn't get much sleep last night, so lay off on the crazy for a bit. And let me finish my coffee before I have to have a coherent conversation." I snapped.
Belle just sat on my other side carefully eyeing me, ingesting my mood, my body language, just observing and calculating. Like she always did. She was good at reading me. Hell, she was good at reading almost anyone's emotions and feelings.
Mia was the one who jumped down people's throat, begging for attention and gossip and forcing you to spill your guts even when you didn't want to. She was overly passionate about silly frivolous things, but she was funny and entertaining, which is why I loved her.
"Well, someone must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed!" Mia snapped.
"I told you I didn't sleep, so I was already awake." I retorted.
I finished the last sip of coffee and let out a loud sigh.
Scattered faces looked my way, giving me weird glances.
Whoops, I guess that was loud.
"Well if you have to know," I started to whisper to Belle and Mia, although they were pretending to listen to the lesson, I knew they were listening to me. "I don't know what's going on between us. I was tired yesterday so I went right to bed, and turned off my phone. Although I didn't get much sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about everything. Like, I don't actually like Dom, he's an asshole. But he's the only guy giving me attention, and he's so incredibly annoying and difficult, that it's hard to avoid him. So I just went with the whole date thing and kiss on the cheek thing. And then after he left I had decided: NO MORE BOYS. Like I can't deal with it. And now he's just going to keep trying harder for me to forgive him, and to like him. I don't know what to do!!"
I finished rambling and let out a long exasperated sigh as I collapsed my head onto my Math textbook.
I felt a warm comforting hand on my back slowly rubbing up and down. I knew it was Belle.
"Oh Krystal, well if you don't like him, them just forget about him. But maybe give him a chance, I mean it seems like he's trying so hard. I don't know Krys, what do you want us to tell you?" Mia asked.
I rolled my head to face her, "Well, I don't want you to tell me anything. I just wish I had help deciding what I should do? Should I just ignore him to the best of my abilities and stay single, or should I just try to forgive him and give him a chance? He's literally been a huge asshole to me for my entire existence, up until this week. Why should I give him a chance?" I complained.
"Maybe because right now, he's the only one giving you a chance. He's the only one honing in on you, and trying to win your attention." Mia explained trying to give me a reason to give Dom a chance.
I turned away from her, mad that she'd said he was the only one giving me a chance. That wasn't entirely true. He was just the only human giving me a chance.
Well, that wasn't true either, I guess Travis was a human; or half human.
I stopped talking about my dilemma for the rest of the period. I didn't want to hear any more of Mia's excuses for Dom and his sorry butt.
When the bell rang, I was probably the first to jump out of their seat and race for the door.
Belle almost immediately caught up to me. I guess that's what I guess when my best friend is one of the stars of the cross country team.
"Why are you running away? You don't wanna walk with us?" She asked.
"If I'm being completely honest, no. No I didn't want to walk with you guys and hear how Mia thinks I should give Dom the time of day, and date him. I'm sick of her obsession with the popular crowd it's gut wrenching. All she wants to do is fit in. It's just... I don't know, annoying and stressful. And I really don't care about being part of the "in crowd," or even giving Dom a chance, even if he's being spectacularly nice lately and trying his hardest." I replied to her.
Belle sighed. I looked into her dark blue eyes while she looked back into my green ones.
"Belle, I really don't even want to talk about it. I'll try to give him a shot." I said, exausted and frustrated at this point.
"Well Krys, I really don't care what you do about Dom. I want you to be happy. And treated right! I could care less if you decide to date a popular idiot or some nerdy geek, or a bad boy or whoever the hell you want. Dom honestly doesn't deserve you and this whole situation is stressing you out, and I don't think that's healthy for you." Bell told me sympathetically.
"Yes, your right. I'm just... I'm just conflicted. Beacuse, Mia was right. I don't really have any other guy options at the moment..." I trailed off and under my breath grumbled, "...Or any human options that is..."
Bell looked at me quizzically. "Wait... What?" She put a hand over her mouth and laughed, like she was figuring something out. "I think I know what this is all about..." She paused again. "I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. It's him isn't it?" She asked me while cocking her head to the side with a bright look on her face.
I blanched and my eyes widened, "What? It's who? Who are you talking about?" I asked.
"The wolf. Your wolf. You're in love with your wolf." She said with a happy tone and a smile on her face.
"What! Nooo...." I said nervously. Then I dropped my head. What was the use in lying to my best friend? I needed to come clean and tell Belle the truth.
Hell, I needed to tell myself the truth.
When I looked up Belle was giving me an 'I don't think so' stare, with her arms crossed in front of her and her blonde curls shaking back and forth with the motion of her head shaking 'no'.
"You're right. It's him. And... it's been him all along. For some crazy reason I think I'm in love with a wolf. But..." I looked around our lockers, making sure no one was in the halls. The bell had rung about a few minutes ago so the halls were empty.
I started to continue, checking around to be sure we were alone, once I was confident no one would over hear i continued, "... Well, he's not just a normal wolf Belle. And hear me out. I'm not completely crazy. But you can't tell anyone, ANYONE, what I'm about to tell you. I don't think he'd appreciate that... Well my wolf, he's a man, and his name is Travis."
I looked up to see Belle's blue eyes open wide and her mouth shaped like an O. She was definitely thinking I was crazy. Sometimes I think she may be right.
"I know what it sounds like... But the other night, when Dom tried to force himself on me at Callum's party, after my wolf had come and saved me and scared Dom off. I went home, you dropped me off, remember?" I asked.
She shook her head up and down, her curls bouncing from the movement.
"Well, when I got inside I got ready for bed, and like always, proceded with my evening ritual, I went onto my roof to wait for him..." I paused taking a breath. Was I really going to tell her all of this?
Yes.
"He came running out of the woods like a mad-man, like he needed to get to me, to make sure I was alright. So naturally I asked why he was running. I spoke out loud of course, then realizing how stupid that was, because it wasn't like he could understand me, right? I asked if he was running to see me. He barked playfully and ran around in a circle, like he was saying yes. Then I asked why, it's not like he could think I'm pretty, I was a human he was a wolf, then he growled. As if that statement made him mad." I looked at Belle to see she was listening intently.
"That's when I realized he could understand me. So then I asked, Give me a howl if you understand me. For a second I was sure it wouldn't work. I was crazy to think it would. But he stared at me with those piercing blue eyes and then looked to the sky and howled. I was in shock. But my mind kept going, I asked him to Bark of your a boy, or growl of your a girl. He barked. Then I needed to guess his age, I told him to growl if I'm wrong and bark when I'm right. So I just guessed a bunch of ages... 16, 17, 18, 19, all answered with growls. Then I said 20, and he barked. Belle, I know you think I'm crazy but I'm not. This is real. This really happened." I whispered to her while looking down at the books in my hand.
We were heading to my locker and our next class, which was Violin lessons with Dr. Gallagher, the Orchestra director who had luckily scheduled this weeks lesson during my American History class, where we were learning the importance of the Industrial Revolution, which was beyond boring. Orchestra was my favorite part of the day, and when I got to go to lessons and have Orchestra twice in the day, it made my Monday's slightly more bearable.
Belle and I were in the same lesson group, so we kept on our trek to the other side of the school together. "So anyways, I decided it would be a good idea to climb down from my roof, to be closer to him, but I tripped and started perpetually falling down to my death. But thankfully landed on a soft cushion of fluff, because he had placed himself where I would land. I felt pretty stupid at that point. But I needed to know his name, I started guessing letters. He growled all the way until I got to "T," which he barked for. I started guessing names with T's, like Thomas, Trevor, Tim, Tyler, but all were getting growls until I thought of Travis. Which he started barking and yelping with glee and running around in circles. So there it was Travis, the Wolf, 20 years old."
By this point we were almost at my locker so I could get my Violin and put some books away. We rounded the corner and I could see Dom standing there waiting for me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to shut out my entire situation with him. This was painful. Why the heck was he paying so much attention to me? And how was I supposed to deal with him?
UGH.
Belle turned her head to me, and game me a sympathetic look. "Well, don't think you get out of finishing that story Missy. Once we get rid of tall, blonde, jerky and slightly handsome." She said under her breath as we approached my locker, and Dom.
I dialed the combination and started putting my books for Math away and grabbed my Violin, and English books and Art portfolio. I had Violin lessons with Belle, and then English class with both Mia and Belle...and Dom.
"Hey!" He said excitedly with a smile.
"Hi." I replied.
"So, where are you girls going now?" He asked directed at Belle and I.
"Orchestra lessons." I answered him as I pulled my Violin out.
"Oh, cool! Maybe I can come listen?" He asked.
"Yeah... I don't think Dr. Gallagher would be down for that Dom. We have work to do, like practice our songs for Orchestra and what-not. He doesn't like to have distractions in class, or lessons, especially since our concert is coming up."
"Oh, alright then...Who's Mr. Gallagher?" He asked suspiciously.
"It's Dr. Gallagher. And he's the Orchestra director... Who did you think he was? I told you I was going to Orchestra!" I said with a mocking laugh.
I just grabbed my Violin, slammed the door shut and started off towards Orchestra with Belle besides me and Dom trailing behind.
"Let's go, you're about to be late! We don't have all day! 40 minutes is all! I need to make sure my 1st Violins have their solo in tip-top shape for the concert in 2 weeks!" I could hear Dr. Gallagher yell as Belle and I made our way into the large music room.
"Wait, so will you sit with me at lunch?" Dom asked as he grabbed my hand before I could make my escape.
I rolled my eyes before I turned my head back to him. "Yeah, sure. We'll sit with you." I made sure to exaggerate the "We'll" just as I turned and walked into the room.
Lessons went too quick, as usual, and Belle and I lingered around the music room continuing to practice after the bell for the next period rang. Dr. Gallagher finally kicked us out after about 10 minutes into 3rd period.
"Come on..." Dr. Gallagher chided, "Just because you both walked in late doesn't mean I can keep you late, especially since you'll miss this period next week for lessons. Maybe if you weren't too busy keeping company with the wrong guys you'd be able to make it to your lessons on time and spend the entire time with your head in the music. Here's a pass. Now get yourselves to class, and try stay out of trouble, with troubled boys." Dr. Gallagher said as he handed me and Belle a pass.
He was right, Dom was trouble. And kept my mind reeling with thoughts of how to get him uninterested, because I was not interested in starting a sexual relationship with the biggest man-whore in town. Even if he was incredibly good-looking, and kept bringing me chocolate and flowers. He tortured me for years, dating back all the way to like 4th grade... making fun of my oddities for liking the outdoors, and music, and art. Him and his friends made growing up near him a royal pain in the ass.
He was not the guy I pictured spending the remainder of my high school career with.
No. He was hot. And maybe he was trying to redeem himself for the years of shittiness, but I couldn't stoop to his level.
Just 2 weeks ago he was trying to get me to force me into bed with him. And before that he ruined my 18th birthday!
Dr. Gallagher was right, I had to get him away from me and out of my life...
But how?
I had tried everything. I was a complete bitch to him, I punched him in the face! I mean what more did I have to do for him to get the picture?
"Sooo, Dr. Gallagher is right. Dom is trouble... But, where did we leave off? You were saying, you fell on a big giant ball of fluff... Travis the 20 year old wolf..." Bell said, baiting me to elaborate as we were briskly walking towards our next class.
"Yeah well you know... That's it." I replied, not wanting to get into the rest.
"Ohhh no, your not getting off that easy girl. There's more and I know it. Spill."
I sighed, "Okay, so then I became curious how could he understand me? Was I crazy? It didn't make sense. I asked if he was trapped as a wolf. He barked a yes. Then I asked, what makes him a wolf? But I thought how can he answer that, it isn't a yes or no question. But he used his nose to judge the snow near my feet. The snow? I asked he barked and nudged it again. So I said, is it the cold? Does the cold turn you into a wolf? He barked and howled to the moon, while running in a circle. Obviously I hit the nail on the head."
Belle just stared. "Wow." She finally said.
"That isn't all. I asked if I got him really warm if he'd turn back into a human. He seemed unsure, but then barked. So I ran to my back deck and started throwing wood and old news papers and twigs into our fire pit. I lit the news paper, to start the fire. Then I yanked my winter coat off. I was in this crazy daze, I needed to get him warm. I needed to get him warm enough to turn into a man. So I wrapped him in my coat. All the while he just stared at me with those piercing blue eyes. I found some old wool blankets in one of the storage boxes outside and wrapped those around him as well. I kept feeding the fire. More twigs, more logs. It was blazing I didn't need my coat. And I sat next to him and waited..." I trailed off realizing we were coming up to our English classroom.
"Damnit." Bell mumbled. "It was just getting good!!" She cried.
"I'll tell you the rest later, but not around Mia. She'll think I'm lying, or crazy, or both." I said as we walked into class.
In English we acted out a scene from Romeo and Juliet, Mrs. Carrington made me play the part of Juliet.
And who was to play the part of Romeo?
Yup, you guessed it.
Dom Larson.
Someone just feed me poison and stab me with a rusty knife.
We had to act out that scene between Romeo and Juliet on the balcony, which made me quite sick to my stomach.
I must have been the worst actress because every time I spoke a line the class would snicker. I could see Mia holding back tears of laughter from the back row, as well as the rest of the class.
I think Mrs. Carrington was finally so fed up with my dreadful performance that she told us to sit, and she called on two other and students to act out the rest of the scene.
Well at least she learned her lesson and probably wouldn't call on me to do anymore acting in class.
I sat in the back next to Bell and Mia, who still had tears pouring from their eyes due to my spectacular performance.
"Wow. You are terrible at reading lines. Just stick to the art and music." Mia managed to get out through her giggles.
"Planned on it." I replied.
I still wasn't happy with Mia for practically trying to force me into a relationship with Dom, but she was just trying to help me find a guy and be happy, no matter how twisted and messed up her reality was. She didn't understand that I didn't want those things, because she wanted those things, so she just figured we all did.
It didn't make her a bad person, it just made her a bit pushy, but she was trying to look out for me, so I guess I couldn't be mad at her forever. I just had to make her see reason, I had to make her understand my feelings for Dom were non-existent, and it wasn't going to change.
The rest of English class went by in a blur.
4th period I had Art without any of the girls, mad most importantly without Dom.
Once the bell rang I spared Mia and Belle a quick glance and bounded out the door and down towards the Art wing.
Mr. Porter was one of those crazy old teachers who wore paint stained jeans with holes in them and could never remember anyone's name. I was fairly certain he wouldn't even notice if I showed up, but I wanted to finish my portfolio so I could send it out to art schools.
He always kept most of the lights off, which made for a creppy but relaxing atmosphere. I sat in the corner by a window and opened up my portfolio.
It was filled with photographs that I took and developed myself, along with oil and watercolor paintings.
Most of my drawings and photos were of people, and nature, and animals. I took a lot of pictures of my friends and family and of animals and plants in the woods behind my house. The oil painting I was currently working on was something that came to me in a dream.
It was a picture of Travis, in his human and wolf form. They were side by side walking out of the forest.
Travis was shirtless. Just like the first time I saw him. He was staring straight ahead with those hypnotizing eyes. His wolf form was giving the same mesmerizing stare straight ahead. His Black hair was long and ruffled from the wind, matching the dark coat of his wolf form.
If you didn't know any better, you would even say these two beings resembles in another.
The wolf was the spirit animal of the man.
No one knew how true that really was.
"Wow. That's some drawing there Kate." Mr. Porter said from behind me.
I jumped, started by his sudden appearance.
"Oh, thank you, yes it's the last one for my portfolio. I'm almost finished. And it's Krystal." I replied.
"Right. Sorry Krystal. Where'd you get the inspiration for this? It's quite different, extraordinary artwork, but very out - there if you know what it mean." Mr. Porter said suspiciously.
"Well, I've been trying to focus on the beauty, and mystery in nature, both human and animal and plants. If you look at the rest of my portfolio, both photographs and paintings you'll see they all have a similar theme." I started pulling out the other pieces of art to show him, but kept the one of Travis on top. "This one, just came to me. I just thought men and wolves are so primitively similar, we hunt, we love, we protect, so many times wolves have been thought to be our spirit animals, I just thought I could show their beauty and similarity side by side."
"Huh. Very interesting. Great job. Your art will take you places... Now onto figuring out why all the lights are off.. Oh darnit, I forgot my lunch again...See you later Kathy. Good Luck." He said as he walked away.
"It's Krystal." I whispered once he was out of ear shot.
The bell rang signaling it was lunch time.
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