Shannon and Cody put the three items side by side on her bed; the two wrapped, unopened packages and the faded pink canvas duffle bag sat there, looking so unimportant.
But to Shannon they meant everything. Inside them were all the answers to every question she had about her father, she just knew it. She pulled at the zipper, but it refused to budge.
"Oh shit!" She said in exasperation. "How am I going to get this open?"
Cody pulled out his pocketknife and slid it alongside the seam beside the zipper, neatly slicing it open. "There ya go!"
Shannon stuck her hand in the bag, pulling out a makeup bag. "This is still packed for a trip." She turned it over and upended it, dumping the contents on her bed.
"Whoa! Look at these!" Cody held up a pair of tiny pink lace bikini underwear. "Your mom wore these?"
"Put those down, perv!" Shannon laughed as she picked up a black tee shirt. "And on the eighth day, God created Harley Davidson." She read the front, then looked at the sleeve. "Minneapolis, Minnesota. My mother was in Minnesota? And she wore a Harley shirt?"
She held up the shirt and shook her head. "This is too big for my mom. What else is in here?"
They spread out the pile of things, randomly picking up items of clothing and setting them down.
Shannon pointed out the makeup bag, the hairbrush and the bag of shampoos and hair products. "This is just too weird. Why would she want to get rid of a whole bag of clothes and stuff like shampoo and hairbrushes. Why wouldn't she just unpack this stuff and use it when she came home?"
"I dunno." Cody picked up the smaller package, running his hand over the taped seam; it came apart effortlessly under his fingers. He let the wrapping fall to the floor as he held up the book. "This is a photo album."
"OH!" Shannon cried out as she let a pair of denim shorts fall out of her hands. She reached for the photo album and sank down on the floor, opening it. "This is it! Oh my god! Here's a letter!"
Her hands shook as she unfolded the paper. She tried to keep her voice steady as she read it aloud to Cody.
"Dear Sarah, I hope when you look through these pictures, you will see how happy you and Sam really were. That french bitch isn't in his life anymore. Well, she's still around obviously, but she's not pregnant! Sam doesn't even want to talk to her, he misses you so bad, Sarah. He needs you in his life. He's a mess. Please come back to him, soon. Please come back to all of us. I miss you, too. Love, Trish"
"Who's Trish? And this french bitch?"
"I have no fucking clue." Shannon said, confusion mixed in with the many emotions that were swirling through her. She picked up the paper wrapping, turning it over to read the return address.
Shannon shook her head. "Mom has never mentioned anyone named Trish. Where is Helaport?"
Cody walked to Shannon's computer, turning it on and letting it boot up. "Only one way to find out."
Shannon looked closely at the pictures, stuck on the cardboard pages and covered with a sheet of plastic. "Oh my god, Cody. Come look at these. This is that group that you like!"
She waved him over wildly with her hand. "Look! There's a picture of my mom and some guy, standing in front of a tour bus. See, it says Blood Brothers on the side."
"Some guy! Shannon! That is Sam Carter! He is the lead singer!" Cody couldn't contain his enthusiasm.
Shannon looked up at him, stunned. Her heart pounded in her chest. "Did you say his name is Sam?"
Her stomach did dangerous flip flops and she felt the room spin around her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, focusing on keeping her heartbeat from pounding through her rib cage.
"Cody." She whispered in disbelief. "I think my father is Sam Carter."
"No way. Shannon, are you serious?" Cody took the book and looked at the pictures on the page, then back to her. " You have the same blue eyes!"
He turned the page and saw a close up of Sam and Sarah, laughing for the camera. "And his smile! Look at the dimples! Holy fucking shit!" He whistled softly. "Shannon, is it really possible?"
"Look at the date stamp on the picture. June 3, 1976" Shannon leaned against her bed, in shock. "Every time my mom and her friends talk about their summers together, they always kind of blow over the summer of 1976. The Bicentennial summer, that's what they call it when they talk about it. Like, Aunt Midgie and Uncle Dave always say that's the summer they fell in love. And Uncle Pete will say he fell in love with Aunt Toni that same summer. But when I ask about Mom, they are always so vague. I know that's the summer she got pregnant with me, but they would never really tell me anything."
They pored over the book, checking the dates on the pictures.
"They begin on June 1st and here on this last one, June 19th. That's it. She was with Sam in that short time. And she got pregnant with me then." Shannon shook her head in disbelief. "My father is Sam Carter."
Cody turned the last page and gave a loud shout. "Shannon! These are back stage passes! For every concert in that time period!"
He took the album and looked through the pictures again. "This band did some major partying. Look in the background of this picture, that guy is doing cocaine!"
"What? Where?" Shannon scooted closer and looked at the picture he was pointing to. "There is no way!" She couldn't believe that her mother would be at a party with a rock band, but here was the proof, right before her eyes.
"Here's the whole group!" Cody pointed to another picture, naming all the members. "This is crazy! These are pictures of the band when they were first starting out!"
He flipped a page and pointed at another one. "Here's one of your mom and Sam, sleeping. Are they on the tour bus?"
Shannon stared at a picture of Sarah and Sam, spooning together, in what looked to be two bus seats, laid back to make a bed. Sam was curled around Sarah, his arm and leg wrapped around hers. She held his hand up to her chest and her face curved down to it. Sam had his head bent at the same angle, his face buried in her hair. The coziness of the snuggle was captured perfectly in the picture. Shannon thought that they both looked so peaceful. As if they had just settled in, and were drifting off to sleep, completely happy to be in each others arms.
She felt the tears welling up and she held her hand to her mouth. "They loved each other, Cody."
Cody picked up the letter and re read it. "It sounds like he ran around on her. With who ever this french bitch is. What a shit!"
Shannon wiped the tears off her cheeks, no longer caught up in the romance of it. This man had changed her mothers life in a major way. And he had no idea of it. She knew from the letter that Sam was still in love with her mom at the time they broke up. But she couldn't understand why Sam hadn't come to get her himself? And what about the remark about the french bitch not being pregnant? And why was she still around if Sam didn't want to talk to her?
The whole load of unanswered questions only served to interest Shannon more. She needed to know more about Sam and Sarah, her parents. She tested that word on her tongue one more time. Parents. She had never really known what it was like to have parents. Even when her mom was married to Keith, Shannon never thought of him as a dad. He was Keith, her Stepdad.
Cody turned to the computer, punching in keys on the keyboard. Shannon heard the beeps and hisses as it dialed up. "Give me a few minutes here and we can see if Trish Addison still has that address."
Shannon reached up and pulled the other box down, peeling off the dried tape and prying up the flaps. She let out a cry as she picked up an envelope. "This is another letter!"
She tore the envelope open and let out a loud shriek, causing Cody to come to her side, on the floor.
"What is it?" He looked at it over her shoulder.
"It's a love letter to my mom. Oh my god, this letter was still sealed, Cody, she's never read this." Shannon cried as she read the letter, stumbling over Sam's writing in places, and stopping to catch her breath at times.
"Sarah, sweetheart, please, I hope you're reading this. I love you more than you will ever know. I wish you were here beside me and I could say these things to you in person. You aren't coming back, I know. I have fucked things up too bad this time. I've broken you, but sweetheart, you have broken me as well. I remember telling you that I've never had a broken heart. Now if you would ask me, I would say yes, I have a broken heart. And it fucking hurts, more than I ever thought it would. I don't think I will ever be whole again. The pain doesn't go away. I wish we could go back, to when we first met. It was the best time I've ever had. I fell in love with you that first day. I am still in love with you. I fall in love with you more everyday. I am so sorry for everything I have done to you. If I could take it all back, if I could just see you one more time. I feel such fucking shame for what I've done to you. I love you, sweetheart, I miss you so much. Please forgive me. I will always love you. All my love, Sam."
Shannon swiped at her eyes. "We need to find out if Trish is still at that address."
"On it." Cody slid into the chair, clicking away at the keyboard.
Shannon dumped the contents of the box, sorting out more clothes, and some jewelry. She pushed the clothes away and saw a record album under the pile.
"He gave her an autographed album. Every member of the band has signed it and they all wrote something nice to her. God, it sounds like she was a part of their group."
"Trish was. I have it right here. Trish Addison married George Carter on June 29, 1976 in Las Vegas."
Cody squinted his eyes and gave a low whistle. "Hey Shannon, come here and see if I'm reading this right."
She leaned over his shoulder reading the line by his finger. "Gisette Dupres married Sam Carter on June 30, 1976 in Las Vegas."
She covered her mouth in horror. "No, he didn't! Oh my god! That's my mom's birthday!" Her head was reeling at the thought of what that had done to her mother.
"She's still at that same address, just under Trish Addison-Carter now. Why don't you write to her?"
"No, I'm sending Sam a letter. That's his sister in law. Or was at one time. She'll know how to find him."
THURSDAY - FEBRUARY 23, 1995
Sam opened the door to the hotel's indoor pool, and his nose was assaulted instantly with the chlorine laden humid air, the moist heat clung to him, causing his tee to adhere to his back and his broad muscular shoulders.
He allowed the door to close behind him as he watched his brother, standing in the water, having a serious talk with a young boy, who was a mirror image of Georgie when he was nine years old.
The young boy was crouched by the side of the pool, his toes curled over the edge, as he looked trustingly into Georgie's face. Sam watched him nod then hold out his arms, hands pointing forward, and fall into the water. Georgie's face broke into a proud grin as he looked over and saw his brother.
"Did ya see that? He dove into the water!" Georgie shouted over the din of the other swimmers.
"Yeah, I did. Kid's going to be like his dad, a regular water rat." Sam sat on the chair beside the pool.
"Uncle Sam!" The boy had broken up through the surface of the water and splashed at Sam. "Where's your suit? Come swim with us!"
"Sorry, Taylor, I forgot to bring one." Sam laughed and bent down, splashing water back at him.
The group was on the last leg of their 20 year Anniversary tour. The tour had been going on for a year, with only a few breaks. Georgie had his son flown out to him, to spend some much needed time with him during this short break.
Georgie swam over to the edge and shook the water out of his hair. "Did you find out why Trish called you?"
"Yeah." Sam leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees. He lowered his voice, trying to keep what he was about to say private, between him and Georgie. "She got a letter in the mail today. It's addressed to me."
"Why would someone send it to her address?"
Sam looked out over the other people in the pool, making sure that no one else heard. "Maybe because they don't know mine. There was no return address, just a name in the corner of the envelope." He paused and took a deep breath. "S. Winston."
Georgie heaved himself out of the pool, pulling up a chair to sit by Sam. "Sarah?" He whispered, incredulously.
He saw the tremor in Sam's fingers as they brushed over his tattooed wrist.
Sam shrugged his shoulders. "Before you ask, no, I don't know why she'd want to contact me after all these years."
"So what are you going to do?" Georgie asked.
"We have an off night. I've already got my plane ticket. I'm heading out tonight. I'll meet you in Philadelphia tomorrow. I'll be back in time for the show. I need to see this letter."
Sam rolled his shoulders, his muscles were getting tighter by the minute. "I'm going to hit the gym that I saw down the street. I'll be back in about an hour."
Sam had cleaned up his act after he'd left his third wife. He had stopped all drugs, except pot, and had started working out. It proved to be an excellent outlet for the nervous energy that seemed to be constantly running through him. The ridged muscles on his still lean body had just been an added benefit.
FRIDAY -FEBRUARY 24, 1995
Sam met Trish at the gate as soon as he stepped off the plane at the Albany International Airport. She had insisted on being there to pick him up, telling him that she was bringing the letter with her. She was anxious to see what Sarah had to say.
Sam was even more anxious, to say the least. He had caught the midnight red- eye from Boston; it was a 45 minute flight to Albany, but to Sam it felt like hours. The letter waiting for him at the end of his flight had his heart beating as if he had just ran a marathon.
Trish held it out as soon as he walked up. "Thanks." Sam told her as he gave her a quick hug. He looked around the nearly deserted airport and nodded his head towards a row of chairs against the wall. "I'm going over there."
"Maybe you want to take it somewhere else. Outside or something." Trish suggested.
"No, I've waited too long for this." Sam muttered. He shakily walked over and sat down, looking at the front of the envelope. The writing was so familiar, the rounded letters and the way she ended all her capitals with some kind of loop. He stared at the corner that only had the name S. Winston, no return address. Just the name, he thought to himself.
He opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. A picture fell out, and he caught it before it hit the floor. He stared at the face of the young girl. She had the same long blond hair and heart shaped face as Sarah, but he saw the blue eyes and dimples. His stomach clenched up as he read "Dear Sam", then bottomed out as he read on.
"My name is Shannon Winston, I was born March 3, 1977. My mother is Sarah Winston. I found some old pictures of you and my mother, dated June, 1976. I was conceived that month and I think that you are my biological father. I am not asking for any support or anything. I just want to know if you are my father. I have always wanted to know who he was and if it is you, please tell me. My mother would be royally hurt if she knew that I was writing this letter to you first, instead of going to her for the answers, so please don't try to contact her. Call the number on the back of the picture and ask for Cody, he's my boyfriend and he's helping me. Thank you."
Sam read the letter twice, then ran his hand over his eyes, and read it again. He felt the numbness as it moved over him, rendering his legs and arms useless. He couldn't move. The paper hung limply from his fingers as he stared out into the distance.
His mind went completely blank, then the thoughts went so fast he couldn't keep up with them. Sarah was pregnant! Why didn't she tell him? Those two hit him the hardest.
Sam rubbed at his chest, feeling the ache start up. All these years and she still had the power to do that to him.
He pulled out his cell phone, yanking the antenna up with his teeth as his thumb pressed the numbers.
He stared at the picture as the phone rang once, then he heard a whispered voice saying hello.
"Yeah, this is Sam Carter.." He began.
" Yes! You called back!" The voice on the other end was that of a teenage boy. Sam could hear how glad the boy was to get his call.
"Listen, Shannon wants you to call as soon as you can. But she doesn't want her mom to answer the phone. I have to call her first. Just give me five minutes." He recited Shannon's phone number. "Five minutes, ok?"
Sam hung up his phone and looked up at the clock on the wall. He punched in the phone number that Cody had given him and held his thumb on the call button.
Five minutes, he thought to himself. He'd waited all these years for another chance with Sarah. Now he had to wait five minutes.
He got up, stretching out his back, maybe if he walked around, time would go faster. He continued to look at the picture as he anxiously paced up and down the corridor between the gates.
He had a daughter!
***
Shannon picked up her phone on the first ring, breathlessly whispering a hello to Cody. She knew it was him, she had been waiting for the call since she had mailed the letter and she just had a feeling it would come tonight!
She thanked Cody, sending him kisses over the phone, then put it back on the base, holding her hand over it.
Her mom was a sound sleeper, never hearing the phone until at least the second or third ring. She watched the clock as the numbers changed, slowly. Finally after three minutes, the phone rang.
Shannon grabbed up the receiver the second she heard the ring. She held it to her chest and took a deep breath, counting to three, then blowing it out. She had to do it a second time before she felt steady enough to talk.
Shannon heard Sam's voice calling her name as she put the receiver against her ear. "I'm sorry, this is hard for me to do." She said.
"I know. It was a shock to me, too. But I have to talk to you, I want to meet you." Sam said urgently.
"You believe me, then?" Shannon's voice wavered. She had worried that he would think it was a fake paternity suit and just ignore her.
"Yeah, I do." Sam agreed. He remembered many mornings that he had to remind Sarah to take her pill.
"Oh my god!" Shannon burst into tears.
Sam squeezed his eyes shut, holding back his own tears. He wondered if Shannon knew how much she sounded like her mother. To hear her crying was tearing him apart. It felt like someone had punched their way into his chest and was squeezing his heart in their clenched fist.
He sniffed and cleared his throat, "I don't have much time. I'm at the Albany Airport now and I have to be in Philadelphia tomorrow. Is there somewhere that we can meet?"
His eyes searched the departures schedule on the wall. He had recognized the Buffalo area code, so he knew Sarah still lived in that area. "There's a flight to Buffalo at 8:10 a.m. Can you meet me at the airport? I'll try to get that flight. I want to meet you, Shannon."
Shannon felt the butterflies in her stomach as she answered. "I'll be there!"