Chris’s POV
After two days in bed, eating up my feelings and viewing all the deaths in every single TV show I watched while I cried my eyes out incessantly, I finally decided that I would get up, shower, and unpack so I could go to school the next day. Finals were the week after next, and if I didn’t catch up on my schoolwork I would fall so far behind I might not move on to junior year. After a quick shower, during which I played “Since You’ve Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson on repeat and let a few tears slip loose, I was about halfway done unpacking all of my stuff when my phone began to blast “F**kin’ Problems” by A$AP Rocky, which I knew was the custom ringtone Damien had set for himself. I answered quickly, mostly out of an eagerness to stop hearing the blasphemous song than to talk to Damien.
“Hey, how have you been holding up? You’ve been dodging all our calls for the past three days,” Damien’s silky smooth voice assaulted my ears, and I cringed. I hadn’t actually spoken to another human being in over 48 hours, and I decided that I preferred my own company.
“Yeah, sorry, I’ve just been…I mean, there’s a lot to do…and…you know,” I mumbled uncertainly, scrambling to come up with a legitimate reason as to why I had been AWOL and failing miserably. But I didn’t really care if Damien and the others knew I’d been avoiding them; there was only one thing on my mind, and it had nothing to do with the seven vampires I’d befriended. As a matter of fact, I’d also been ignoring Dean, Isaac, and Erica’s calls, too. And, of course, Derek’s. Give it a few more days, and I was sure I’d soon have Scott and Stiles to deal with as well.
“Chris, you need to get back on your feet sweetie. You’ve been hiding out for almost a month now. Tomorrow is the first day of May. Start the new month on a good note, okay? Just go to school, hang out with your friends, and try to heal, day by day. Take it slow.”
“Damien, I…I can’t,” I whispered brokenly, falling down onto my bed as my knees gave out and sobs threatened to overtake me. I pushed them back with what little strength I could muster up, determined to put on a strong front for my worried friends. At least, I tried to put up a stronger front than the one I’d been sporting for the past few days. But of course, Damien didn’t buy it. I heard him sigh on the other end, and then there was a scratching sound and Cate’s crisp but worried voice floated over the line.
“Christina Laymen. Why haven’t you answered any of my calls, but when Damien calls you pick up practically on the first ring?”
That was almost enough to make me crack a smile, but not quite. I settled for straightening out my perpetual frown and sighing.
“Sorry, I’ve just…it’s been hard.”
“I know. But that’s no reason to ignore your friends! We care about you, Chris, and we’re worried.”
“Thanks, but you guys shouldn’t even be thinking about me. Focus all your energy on finding my brothers,” I croaked, clamping my eyes shut and letting out a shaky breath. Because of everything that had happened, I really needed my family right now and I wished I could just pick up the phone and call Michael. But like I’d been doing all weekend, he was ignoring my calls, as was Kyle. I wanted to know where they were, but more importantly, I wanted to ask Mike if he knew about our dad. No, surely not. If Mike and Kyle found out Dad was dead, they would’ve told me. They would’ve called. Two months ago, I would have been sure. But now…now I had no idea what my brothers really would do.
“We’re vampires – we can do both.”
“I guess you’re right. But…I don’t want you guys worrying about me. I’m fine, really,” I said in as convincing a voice as I could manage. It was probably the worst lie I’d ever told. No surprise Cate didn’t buy it.
“No, you’re not. But I think you will be. Just hang in there, alright?”
I promised I would, and then hung up the phone before Damien could put any more of my friends on. As much as I loved them, I couldn’t stand faking my happiness long enough to satisfy my friends. It was exhausting. The minute the line disconnected, I dropped my faux-happy face and went back to looking like I was on the verge of tears…which I was. As far as I could tell, there wasn’t a time in the near future when I wouldn’t be.
*** *** ***
School the next day turned out to be just the way I’d expected it to be – pure hell. My first class of the day was Art with Erica and Katherine, and I didn’t really want to sit next to either of them so I took a seat in the very middle – far enough forward that I avoided Erica and far enough back that Katherine couldn’t turn around to ask me questions I really didn’t want to answer. As far as everyone at school knew, I’d been absent for four weeks straight because I was attending a rehabilitation facility in Vermont for teens who’d suffered physical trauma. In light of my recent injuries, it had been the best excuse Damien could come up with on such short notice. That didn’t stop my close friends who weren’t “in the know” from badgering me with questions, and I’d been deflecting advances from Katherine, Monica, and Karoline for weeks. Even Lexi, the captain of the basketball team, had sent me a short text message stating that she was worried about me and missed me on the team. I’d been touched by her concern, but hadn’t responded for it would open up the window for her to ask more questions.
As Art class dragged on, I slipped in my earbuds and lifted up the hood on my sweatshirt so Leslie, our thirty-something hippy dippy teacher, wouldn’t notice. I could do without the lecture today. Unfortunately, Erica plopped down in the vacated seat beside me when there was only fifteen minutes left in class. Yanking one of my earbuds out, my attention refocused on her and a rush of emotions hit me. Joy at seeing one of my best friends. Remorse that I could no longer hang out with her. Suspicion because I knew she wasn’t just there to smile at me. Dread because I knew whatever she had to say, it would most certainly involve the name Derek.
“Chris. Hey,” Erica said softly, reaching out to place a hand on my arm comfortingly. I jerked away like I’d been burned by her very touch, and scowled. Couldn’t she tell I didn’t want to be consoled?
“What do you want?” I said flatly, picking up the piece of charcoal I’d been working with and sketching a few random lines on the edge of my paper. Without quite realizing it, I’d suddenly drawn two triangles that looked strangely like a pair of wolf ears. Dammit. Immediately, I took the side of my fist and rubbed the black powder until it was smeared all over the paper.
“I just want to talk. You’ve been avoiding me since you and Der-“
“Don’t. Don’t say his name,” I snapped testily, and Erica nodded instantly.
“Sorry. It’s just, he won’t tell us what happened but I can hear him crying himself to sleep every night.” Derek’s been crying? I thought, before I realized I shouldn’t care what Derek did with his own free time. As far as I was concerned, he could take up playing the violin and I still wouldn’t give a damn. Although deep down inside, a small part of me knew that wasn’t true. But sucking in another deep breath, I did my best to squelch down that voice and sent Erica a hard look.
“So?”
“So?! Chris, you have to tell me what happened-“
“I don’t have to do anything.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that but-“
“Then what did you mean, Erica?”
“I just want to know what happened to make you both so miserable,” Erica said quietly, looking me in the eyes. I averted my gaze, instead examining my soot-stained hands.
“We broke up, okay? I gave Derek the ring back. It’s final. So can you just leave me alone?” I said heatedly as the bell rang. I quickly gathered up my stuff, not even bothering to wash my hands as I swiftly exited the art room with Erica on my tail.
“Chris, wait-“
I broke into a jog, not stopping until I’d crashed into three different people and made it to the Psychology classroom with two minutes to spare. Dismay washed over me as I realized Dean was approaching me, worry written in every line on his face. Oh God. My nerves were already frayed from talking to Erica, and I didn’t think I could withstand another confrontation so I took refuge behind a huddle of students. Dean couldn’t exactly ask me personal questions in front of witnesses who thought he was “just my teacher,” and I watched with relief as he retreated back to the front of the classroom. As soon as class started, however, Dean told us we had a homework day and then called me up to his desk.
“Ms. Laymen, could I please see you out in the hall?” I then had no choice but to follow Dean out the door sullenly. The minute we were alone in the empty hallway, he spun on me and gave me a tight hug. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being in Dean’s warm embrace; the feel of his bulging muscles pressing against me reminded me eerily of Derek’s muscular arms, and I immediately squirmed away. I could see the hurt flash in Dean’s hazel eyes, but I pretended to ignore it. In truth, it made my guilty conscience rear up and shake its ugly head.
“Why haven’t you been answering any of my calls?” was the first thing he said to me. Seems like that’s the burning question today. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly and scowling at Dean.
“Because I didn’t want to talk. I still don’t.”
“But last time you called me, you said things were going great! You were standing outside a club in Vegas and you said-“
“I know what I said. But a lot has changed since Vegas.”
“I’ll say – I didn’t hear from you for three weeks! What happened, Chris? And why are you back? Did you find your brothers?”
“No, we didn’t find them.”
“Okay, so then why did you come back?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Oh please, don’t give me that crap. What happened?”
“Derek and I broke up, alright?”
The shock that registered on Dean’s face was almost comical. He could not have been more stunned if I’d told him I’d gotten a sex change and was actually a boy now. Still, a pang of agony shot through me as I spoke those words. I never thought I’d ever have to have this conversation with anybody, least of all my Psychology teacher and assistant basketball coach.
“You…w-what?”
“You heard me.”
“But…but as long as I’ve known you-“
“Barely three months-“
“-you and Derek have been inseparable.”
“Yeah, well now we’re…separable,” I mumbled quietly, trying vigorously to blink back the tears that filled my eyes. My heart was regaining that familiar ache with added intensity, and I felt like curling up in a ball and crying into my arms as loudly and painfully as I needed to. It was still too soon to talk about Derek, and I turned away from Dean so he wouldn’t see me cry.
“Chris, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I never would have dreamed…well. I guess the thing to do now is just pick yourself up and-“
“Pick myself up? Derek wasn’t just some high school boyfriend, Dean! He was…he was everything to me,” I sobbed, the last of my strength melting away as my emotions surged to the surface and swallowed me whole. Before Dean could stop me, I turned on my heel and sprinted down the hall, out the front doors of the school, and into my Jeep. Flinging myself into the front seat, I made a motion to start the car before I just gave in to my pain and dropped my head onto my folded arms on the dashboard. Anguish seized me in unrelenting waves, and I was plagued with wracking sobs that shook my shoulders and squeezed my stomach. In the privacy of my own car, I was able to let out the wails and screams of agony that I’d been holding in all morning. There were no coherent thoughts in my head, just a montage of happy memories of me and Derek that only made me cry harder and louder. Our third date to the aquarium. Derek getting us kicked out for trying to touch the shark to prove to me how brave he was. I let out a howl of pain as my heart contracted painfully. The first time we said we loved each other as Crazy Kate threatened to kill Scott and Derek. No noise came out, but the sob that shook me was fierce enough to have me gasping for air. Seeing Derek in the bleachers as I scored the game-winning shot. Our gazes meeting and elation filling me at the pride in his shining green eyes. I bit down hard on my bottom lip, nearly drawing blood as I fought the urge to bash my head against the steering wheel. In a vain attempt at stopping myself from driving straight to Derek’s house, I struggled to dredge up some bad blood between me and Derek. But even the plentiful arguments that we’d had in the past few months seemed petty and insignificant. Derek killed my dad. He lied to me for months. He murdered my dad. He didn’t just take him away from me, but from Michael and Kyle too. They never have a chance to grow close to Dad if they wanted to. And I never get to see if he’d apologize for what he did. I’ll never know. If I thought this would cheer me up, I was sorely mistaken. It did, however, help me focus my energy on sitting up, sticking the key in the ignition, and starting the car. Then I remembered why I’d even come to school that day. If I leave now, I’ll surely fail the finals next week. I have to stay. This is all I have left. So I gathered up the shreds of my strength and marched back into Beacon Hills High with newfound determination. If I can work hard enough to pass the finals, I’ll prove to myself that I can survive without Derek.
The rest of the week became dedicated to catching up on all I’d missed during my absence. Every day, I woke up at five o’clock on the dot and put on a pair of denim shorts and a plain black tank top. Then I tossed my long hair up into a messy ponytail or bun, went downstairs and made coffee. While it was brewing, I’d take out my English textbook and review the Shakespearean vocabulary we needed to know for the test. Once the coffee was done, I’d pour about one fourth of it into a mug, leaving the coffee black. Then I’d sit down with the mug and drink while I studied atoms and read up on the stuff I’d missed, or re-read chapters I’d already done. Then at six o’clock, I’d fill up another cup of coffee and start in on conjugating irregular Spanish verbs and rehearsing my oral responses to practice test questions that I’d wrote up. I scheduled more time for Spanish than any other class, seeing as how it was the class I was most behind in. So at six-forty-five, I would get yet another mug full of black coffee and start practicing formulas and solving practice problems for Trigonometry. Half an hour later, I’d grab a Chobani yogurt and eat it while I memorized dates and facts about the Civil War and both World Wars for History class. By seven-forty-five, I was filling up my travel cup with coffee, adding sugar to boost my energy level, and getting in my Jeep to drive to school with plenty of time to spare. I kept my Psychology book in my lap, and at every red light I’d look down and read up on human behavior, common idiosyncrasies of sociopaths, and other material we’d covered this year in class. By the time I got to school it would be a little after eight, and I’d go to my locker to stow my heavy textbooks before grabbing the one I needed and heading to class. In every class, I’d take copious notes and raise my hand at least three times every day. I met with each of my teachers during my Free Periods on Tuesday and Thursday, and sometimes during lunch. If I wasn’t with a teacher, I’d eat lunch by myself in the bathroom while I studied Spanish or Trigonometry. And every day after school, I’d skip basketball practice and go straight home to do homework. At five-thirty every night, I’d video chat with Monica to practice Spanish. Then, after studying for each of my other classes, I’d order takeout and eat it while re-reading Shakespeare at seven-thirty. For the next five hours, I’d drink endless amounts of coffee to keep me awake and study until one a.m., at which point I’d fall asleep chanting the names of all the lead generals in the Civil War.
This went on until Monday morning (with slight modifications for Saturday and Sunday), when I had my very first final exam – Chemistry. For finals week, we had to show up at school by 8:30 for the exam, which went on for two hours. As I took my seat in the large gymnasium, which had rows upon rows of chairs and desks, the nerves that bubbled in my stomach helped mask the sharp, reignited pain I felt in my heart. On the drive over, I’d accidentally pulled up to a red light beside a black sedan, which reminded me vividly of Derek’s Camaro, which in turn made me cry…a lot. I’d nearly been late for the exam, but had dashed into the gym at the last minute. As I now received the thick packet of testing, I swallowed my anxiety and took a deep breath. I was confident that I’d pass this test at least, but I couldn’t help the doubt that encroached on my self-assurance. Here goes nothing.
*** *** ***
After finishing my last exam on Friday, I exited the school feeling like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. As I drove home, I played “Ten Thousand Hours” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and rapped along to every word. I felt…not quite happy, but for the first time in a while, I didn’t feel sad. When I pulled into my driveway, I noticed a big black SUV parked along the curb a couple feet down. Damien’s signature pick, I couldn’t help but think with a pang of longing. I missed my friends more than I’d thought I would, and decided I’d give them a call tonight. Now that I was done with finals, my life suddenly seemed bleak and pointless again. I’d had something to focus on for the past two weeks, but now…what did I have? A couple good grades? I needed to get my friends back, starting with Scott and Stiles. I’d continually pushed them away, refusing to tell them what had happened between me and Derek, but I felt like it was finally time to let somebody in. Damien and the others knew about what Derek had done, of course, as did my sister, but that was it. As soon as I walked through the laundry room and into my kitchen, however, I knew the decision to reach out to my friends had already been made for me. Because there standing around my kitchen table was Damien, Cate, Gisela, and Marcus.
“Chris!” they chorused the instant their eyes landed on my shocked face, and within a second I was being crushed between four vampires in a tight bear hug. When they pulled back, I regarded each of my friends with pure, unadulterated astonishment. A huge smile split my face, and the movement felt foreign to me. I hadn’t smiled in ages.
“What are you guys doing here?” I cried, and yet another surprising thing happened – I laughed. Just a little chuckle, but the delight I felt at being reunited with my friends was overwhelming. For just a split second, I forgot all about Derek. I forgot about his betrayal, I forgot about all the pain, all the hurt, all the agony. All I felt was immense relief at the sight of my four closest friends as of the past few weeks.
“We were worried about you, so we decided to drop in for a little visit,” Cate announced, a grin lighting up her features brilliantly as she wrapped her arms around me again. Her wavy brown hair wasn’t pulled back into its usual bun as I’d grown to expect, but was left flowing down her shoulders. It caught the light nicely, and I couldn’t help but admire her transformation from rigid brainiac to friendly genius. And is that…eyeliner around her brown eyes? Wow. Someone had really gotten to Cate…and by someone, I of course meant Annie.
“Jake and Milo and Annie wanted to come, too, but we forced them to stay and continue looking for Michael and Kyle,” Damien shared, stepping forward to hug me tightly once more. I clutched onto my friend, kissing him on the cheek and leaning back when Gisela approached.
“I read a fascinating article on grief and think I have a couple things you could try to cheer you up,” Gisela told me, smiling widely and embracing me. I grinned at her usual input of smart-sounding advice, hugging her tightly.
“And as usual, I’m just here for comic relief,” Marcus quipped, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me up off the ground. After spinning me around twice, Marcus set me back on my feet and planted a kiss on my forehead. My legs wobbled, and I had to grab hold of his arm to steady myself.
“Wow, I’m so happy to see you guys. You have no idea.”
“Actually, there’s one more person here to comfort you,” Marcus said quickly, and with a grand and overly dramatic gesture, my older sister came waltzing in from the living room. In the back of my mind, I wondered how long it had taken them to get that cue just right. I ran forward and hugged my sister tightly, overjoyed to see her smiling face as well.
“Oh Chris, I’ve missed you so much! Being away for even two weeks suddenly became too much,” Loni whispered in my ear, pulling away and kissing my cheek. I smiled, nodding in agreement. Before I could respond, however, Marcus wrapped his arm around my sister’s waist and pulled her against his side. What the hell?
“Also, um…Marcus asked me out,” she added lamely, and everyone laughed. I could practically feel my jaw drop, and struggled not to look too shocked.
“You…and Marcus?”
“Yup. Say hello to your new brother-in-law,” Marcus joked, kissing Loni on the top of her head as she blushed deeply.
“I thought we agreed we weren’t going to tell her until later,” she hissed at Marcus, who shrugged.
“Sorry, babe. I just thought we should get everything out in the open.”
“I’m sorry, Chris,” Loni beseeched me. “I’m not trying to, you know...rub my happiness in your face or anything.”
“No, no,” I said quickly, masking up the jealousy and aching in my heart at her words. “I’m glad you guys are happy.”
“So shall we go out to eat?” Damien suggested, and everyone agreed. I ran upstairs to change into something a bit nicer, and as I stepped into a pair of white shorts and threw on an orchid purple blouse I found my smile fading. It was this same blouse that Monica and I had rejected for my second date with Derek…No, Chris. Don’t ruin tonight by thinking about him. Just put on a different shirt. But then I realized I wasn’t going to let Derek dictate everything in my life. I damn well would wear this top if I wanted to! And I wouldn’t give him a second thought. With fresh resolve, I slid on a pair of black espadrille wedges and grabbed a small purse to take with me out to dinner with my friends. Even though my heart still ached, I found the pain lessening with each moment I spent with Damien, Cate, Gisela, Marcus and Loni.
We made a good group, I soon realized pleasantly. At dinner, Marcus kept the conversation rolling so there was never a dull moment. Gisela offered interesting facts while Damien mostly rolled his eyes at jokes me and Cate cracked. Loni and Marcus kept the PDA to a minimum, for which I was grateful, and afterwards the six of us went out for ice cream.
“So then Milo and I are asked for credentials, and I’m just like ‘We’re janitors, man. We don’t need no damn credentials!’” Marcus finished off his anecdote about the time he and Milo went undercover as janitors to search a college campus for Michael and Kyle in Louisiana, and I surprised myself by laughing again. I’d laughed more tonight than I had in weeks, and it felt amazing. My body was loose, my mind was free and mostly full of warm, fuzzy thoughts about how much I loved my friends and my sister. That is, until we walked into a Chinese takeout place so Marcus and Damien could get an order of lo mein to take home. As Cate, Gisela and I lingered by the waiting counter, I couldn’t help but crane my head around to survey the restaurant. It was nicely lit, with intricate Chinese symbols painted on the walls and the smell of sesame oil in the air. I was scanning the customers who sat at the counter, also waiting for their food, when my eyes came in contact with a pair of piercing green ones. Fuck. Shit. Damn. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was Derek, and he wasn’t alone; Isaac and Erica flanked him, as usual.
I nearly choked on my spit in surprise, and I saw Derek do the same. Letting out a little scream, I quickly turned away and pretended I hadn’t seen him. But I had. My heart was pounding like crazy, and tears had sprung into my eyes without my permission. Every emotion I’d felt since Derek had confessed to murdering my father hit me as strongly as they had the first time, and it was all I could do not to collapse on the floor of the Chinese place in pain. My heart constricted tightly, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Is this what a panic attack feels like? But soon I was able to draw oxygen into my lungs, even though that did nothing to assuage my roiling emotions. Oh God, what do I do?
“Chris, what’s wrong?” Cate asked me, grasping both of my shoulders in her firm grip and looking me in the eyes. A couple tears made tracks down my cheeks, and now both Gisela and Cate were staring at me anxiously.
“What’s wrong?”
“D-Derek…he’s here. Right over there,” I said in barely a whisper, and before I could even lift my finger to gesture to him, Cate let out a small gasp. It was hard to sneak up on a vampire, but I believe Derek had managed to do just that.
“Chris, can we talk?”
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Hey guys, so I hope you liked this chapter! It was a bit of a filler, but i actually enjoyed writing it a lot :) It was nice to have some Chris time, since she hasnt been single in forever. And then since I also really liked the vampires and their whole thing, I decided to bring some of them back :) although dont worry, the others arent gone for good either! It's all part of my master plan (just kidding, i dont have any sort of plan lol) Anywayyyss you guys did such a good job commenting on last chapter! Over 20 comments! Wow! The only time that happens is usually on my rants, so thank you guys so much :) I love all of you! youre wonderful fans :) I hope some of you guys at least enjoyed this chapter a bit, and next chapterr gets a little bit more action and drama so stay tuned (can you say that for books? I dont know!) I'll try to update by Tuesday, but since thats the day I fly back to DC, it might actually be Wednesday or maybe even MONDAY if youre lucky! But probably not because Monday is teen wolf day :D And the next episode looks CRAZZYY! Raise your hand if youve seen the promo?! Because I have...and lemme just say OHMYFREAKINGGOD! Danny and Ethan finally hook up and that alone is enough to make me smile until 2014. But to make it better, so do Derek and Jennifer! OMG! I love them, but maybe their relationship is moving a tiny bit too fast? I dont know, lemme know what you guys think in the comments! Who knows, maybe the kiss happens at the very end of the episode after theyve gotten to know each other a bit better? But then again if I was given the opportunity to makeout with Derek Hale, I wouldnt ask any questions ;) Soorrryy for this long A/N lol I'm tired! Pic of Marcus on the right, played by the wonderful Michael Trevino from Vampire Diaries! BTW who likes him & Loni together??? But anyways dont forget to vote and comment, and thanks guys! Catch you on Monday for my rant :) xoxoxox