Hunter's POV
As I sit watching Liddy hold Harper, while she falls back asleep. I'm reminded yet again what an amazing woman Lid is. She has to be one of the most loving people I have ever met. The way Harper looks at her melts my heart. She doesn't even look at her own mother that way. I can tell she trusts Liddy and feels safe with her. The fact that she asked Liddy to hold her when she's sick, only proves my point.
Harper hasn't asked for Renee once tonight. She did however, inquire about Liddy multiply times. That is the main reason I went to her apartment. Yes, I needed a thermometer, but that was secondary. I could tell Harper's fever wasn't that high. I just knew if Liddy was aware that Renee wasn't here and that Harper was running a fever, she wouldn't be able to help herself. I knew she would eventually come over and I was correct. I couldn't be happier. I've missed her so very much.
God, I hate myself. I still can't believe how stupid I was to mess everything up with Liddy? I don't love Renee, not like I love her. I'm in love with Lid. I have been since the moment I saw Harper in her arms for the very first time. But somehow I couldn't shake this crazy notion that I had let Harper down by not giving her a normal childhood with only 2 parents living in the same house. So when Renee told me she still loved me, I began to wonder what if.
Even though I was curious, I never would have left Liddy for Renee. I love her too much. It wasn't until she broke our engagement that I realized how much I hurt her and that she didn't trust me anymore. I know she said she'd take me back, but I also know that it would never be the same. I've let her down too many times. She deserves someone better than me, someone who won't make her cry. Someone she can trust.
Knowing I can never get her back kills me. It's a pain I will live with for the rest of my life. But I can't let Harper suffer for my mistakes. I have to find a way to keep Liddy from moving. Harper needs her in her life. If it can't be as her step mother than it at least has to be as her nanny. I'm not going to let her go. I can't.
When I hear Lid's voice it pulls me from my thoughts. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all. I was just watching how Harper clings to you. She feels safe in your arms. She loves you very much."
"I know that. I love her, too."
"Then tell me. How can you move away and leave her?"
I note the confusion in her eyes. "What? How did you know?"
"My mom never admitted to it, so don't blame her."
"Okay,"
"She just warned me to expect it to happen at some point because I didn't give you any other choice."
She laughs, but I can tell it's fake. "You can certainly say that."
"But why? Can't you see how much Harper needs you? You're all she's asked for, all night."
"Hunter, please stop."
"Stop what?"
"Stop making this harder than it already is."
"I'm not trying to make it harder, I'm just stating the facts. Harper loves you and needs you in her life."
I wonder if she's even aware of it, but she covers Harper's ear before speaking. " I know she loves me, but as far as needing me in her life, that has changed. She has her mother, now."
"But she hasn't bonded with Renee, not like she has with you."
"That will change with time." I can see tears in her eyes. "It will happen sooner than you think."
"I disagree."
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Why are you going to hurt her like this?"
"I don't want to hurt her. My god, I love her like she's my own. It's killing me that I have to leave her, but I can't stay."
"Why can't you stay?"
"Are you serious? "She asks as she slides out from under Harper and gently lays her on the bed. She tucks a pillow beside her so she won't fall off then bends over to kiss her on the cheek. "You know why!"
"It's because of Renee, isn't it?"
She heads towards the doorway. "It's because of everything: Renee, the fact that I love you and that you never loved me.... It's all too painful." Then she walks out of the room.
"What did you just say?" I ask, as I run after her.
"You heard me."
"I thought you said I never loved you?"
She's so angry now I can see it on her face and in the clenched fists that she has by her side. "You heard correctly."
I reach for her and she steps back. "Why would you say that?"
"Because that's what Renee told me this afternoon."
"She did what!???"
"She filled me in on all kinds of things. Like how happy you and she are living together raising Harper as a family.... That you never loved me because you couldn't stop loving her.... And how you regretted asking me to marry you. Stuff like that."
"Liddy, please stop. Listen to me."
"There's nothing to listen to. Renee said it all."
"Well, she was lying about every single thing."
She pauses at the door to her apartment but doesn't turn around to look at me. "It doesn't matter. You still picked her over me."
"But."
"I don't want to talk about this any more. Just leave it alone." She yells. "Tell Harper I love her. I can watch her at my place tomorrow? You can drop her off before you go to work."
"Okay, but what if she's running a fever still?"
"Well, then I'll let you decide who you would rather care for her, me or Renee....Text me your decision in the morning..... Good night Hunter, try to get some sleep." She then closes the door on me.....on us.
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Liddy's POV
Hunter messaged me earlier asking me if I was still willing to watch Harper today, even though she was running a low grade fever of 99.5. Of course I said yes, I didn't want Renee to attempt to deal with a sick child. She'd probably forget to check her temperature and give her fluids.
Right now, Harps is curled up next to me far more quiet than usual. I realize she has a fever, but something feels off, call it a nanny's intuition, but I think she may have something more going on than just a virus or bacterial infection that would cause a fever.
I can't remember the last time she asked to walk Cole, which use to be a daily routine for us. She also hasn't asked to go swimming recently which is strange since that's all she talked about last week and she hasn't been riding her tricycle either. It seems all she really wants to do is watch movies and sleep.
"Hey, Harps do you want to walk Cole later?"
"No"
"How come? You love to walk Cole?"
"Too Tie Tie."
"Is that all that it is? That your tired?"
"Yup."
"Are you sure?"
She shakes her head yes. "Can we watch Cindyella?"
"Of course we can. Just give me a minute to set it up. Would you like something to eat? Maybe some grapes or animal crackers?"
"Not hungy."
That's weird, when Hunter texted me this AM he said she hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. He tried to get her to eat something last night and again this AM but she refused. "Harps is your tummy sore."
"ittle"
"Does it hurt after you eat or all the time?"
"All time."
I wonder if she has some kind of stomach bug. My only concern is that usually there's vomiting involved with those and she hasn't vomited that I know of and I'm positive Hunter would have told me if she got sick during the night.
Even though she said no, I still bring a few crackers along with a pedialyte into the living room with me, to snack on while we watch the movie. "Hold on. All I have to do is slip the DVD in and we are all set."
I wait, expecting her to cheer like she always does, but she says nothing. That's odd.
"Okay Sweetie, scoot over. You need to make room for me."
When she doesn't move I start to nudge her and that's when she cries out. "Stop! Hurts. It hurts."
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Tell me what did I do? What hurts?"
She points to her knees and I think her hips, but I'm not sure. "Did you bump or scape your knees? "
"No."
"Can I look at them?"
She starts to tear up. "They hurt."
"I promise, I'll be really carefully."
"Pinky pomise?"
"Yes." Then I stick my baby finger out for her to grab.
When she bends her little finger to hook it around mine, I notice that she winces. It's subtle, but I saw it. I'm really starting to get worry, now. This is definitely more than normal body aches caused by a fever.
When I pull her leggings down to check her knees, I find nothing. No scrapes, bruises or swelling. Everything looks normal till I touch them. When I do she cries. "Oh Harps, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I won't touch them again. Okay?"
"Hotay." She says as she wipes away a tear.
I pull her leggings back on carefully, noting the same wincing she showed when we joined our pinkies. Not wanting to hurt her any more I sit on the opposite end of the couch and hit play on the DVD player. I don't watch any of the movie, instead I observe everything Harper does.
Towards the end of the movie, she starts to rub her head. I don't say anything. I just continue to look at what she does. When the movie is over. I shut it off and encourage her to eat something. I managed to get her to eat 5 animal crackers and 4 grapes before she says she's done. Thankfully, I am a bit more successful with the pedialyte, She drinks at least half of that which makes me feel slightly better.
When she begins to rub her head again I decide to watch her for a while, since she's never done anything like this before, until today. Over the next hour I notice that she rubs her head on a pillow, against the back of the couch and with her hands. She doesn't seem to be scratching just rubbing her head, which I find strange. "Hey, Sweetie is something wrong? Why do you keep touching your head?"
"It hurts."
"What do you mean? Does your head hurt on the inside?" Maybe she has a headache and doesn't know how to describe it.
"No."
"Does your scalp itch?"
"No, my HAIR hurts."
Well, I think something is definitely going on. I should call Hunter, although after last night, I really wish I didn't have to. Just the sound of his voice brings back so many feelings that I WANT to forget. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to call him. Harper needs to see a doctor.
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So what's wrong with Harper? Any guesses?
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