***Tissue Alert****
Hunter's POV
As I sit here watching Liddy cry, feeling helpless because she won't let me console her, I begin to really think about some of the questions that she's asked me. Why did I ask Renee to come to the park with Harper and I? I've never done that before. My god she had just tried her best to seduce me a few hours before, I should have been angry, but I wasn't. I should have wanted to stay away from her, but I didn't.
Is Liddy right? Do I still have feelings for Renee? Ren seems to think I do. She believes I would have stayed with her last night, if I wasn't engaged to Liddy. Is she right? God, I don't want to think she is, but if I'm being completely honest I am finding myself thinking about Ren and our life before the divorce, a lot recently.
When Lid gets up to grab some tissues I can see what a toll all this has taken on her. She looks gaunt. Her normally beautiful skin is now pale and has lost its glow. I can tell she's lost weight maybe 3 to 5 pounds which is not good since she's petite to start with.
"Sorry about that. I think I'm better now. Can we still talk or are you too tired?" She asks as she returns to sit in the chair, in front of me.
"No, I'm fine. I'd like to continue. I really want to work this out."
"Okay. Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions? I need some clarity on some of the things you told me last night."
"Not at all. What would you like to know?"
"How did you feel when Renee told you she was still in love with you and wanted you back?"
"I was shocked."
"That's it? That's all you felt was shock. Nothing else?"
"I also became angry when she admitted she left me because she resented me for not standing up for her to my fans that were bullying her."
"Why would that make you so mad?"
"I'm not sure, really. It just did." Please lord, let her accept that answer. Don't have her pursue this!
"Hunter, you promised to tell me the truth."
"It's nothing, really."
"Please stop lying to me through omission and just tell me!" She demands.
I take a deep breath. "I was angry because if she had said something, I might have been able to fix it. Then we may not have divorced."
When I look at Liddy, I can see the hurt on her face, from my confession. "Do you still love her?" She whispers.
"I'm in love with you."
"That's not what I asked. Do you still love your ex wife?"
"I don't hate her any more, now that I know the reasons why she acted the way she did. I hurt her terribly. I deserved what I got."
"I seriously doubt that." She mumbles. "So I'm going to assume that you do still love her, since you keep beating around the bush."
"Babe, you're the only one that I'm in love with. You're my future. Renee was my past."
"God, I wish I could believe that."
"You can. I love you with my whole heart."
"I'm not so sure about that any more." She says with tears in her eyes.
"Why do you keep saying that? Why do you suddenly doubt my love for you?"
"Because of all the things that you have done recently. You keep saying you love me with your words, but your actions say something completely different." She wipes a tear from her face. "You're pre occupied all the time and you..."
"How do you know that it isn't work related?"
"I think you would have told me if it was, But that's not the only thing that's different. You've also been distance."
"Distance how?"
"You haven't been interested in you know "Our communication skills."
"That's because I ..."
"I know why. You don't need to explain. You're confused."
"I was going to say stuff at work. What do you think I'm confused about?" I ask with a raised voice.
"Your feelings for Renee."
I force myself to laugh. "Why do you keep saying that? I told you I don't h..."
"Have feelings for her? Yes, you do. Ever since she admitted she still loves you, you have started acting differently. At first, you were a little distracted, but now... Now, I can't believe how you're acting."
"Acting differently, how?"
"The Hunter that loved only me, never would have stayed and chatted with his ex wife when she was parading around wearing only a robe. He would have left. The Hunter that loved only me would NEVER have invited his ex wife to go to the park with him. He would have gone alone with Harper or invited me. The Hunter that loved only me would have come home and told me everything that happened last night instead of making me worry for 5 hours." She pauses to gain her composure. "Can't you see how different you are? It's like you aren't even thinking about me or us any more. I feel like all you think about is Renee."
"That's not true. I think about us all the time and what our life is going to be like."
"Really? Then tell me, when was the last time you asked me anything about our wedding?"
"Ah uhm, ah ..."
"You can't remember can you? It was over 2 weeks ago, right before Renee admitted her feelings for you. We talked about the venues and since then you haven't asked one single thing. Nothing. "
"I'm sorry. I've just been really busy at work."
"That's funny because you've been busy with work a lot over the last few months and it never once stopped you from asking me a zillion wedding related questions; not until the Renee admission.
She's right, I haven't. I feel so ashamed.
"Hunter, now do you understand why I can't marry you? You still care for Renee and you are obviously confused by those feelings. I realize you're trying to fight your feelings, but I'm afraid over time you won't be able to."
"But I love you! I know I do." I try to hold her hands but she pulls them away.
"I do believe that a part of you loves me. The problem is I don't want just a part of your love. I don't like to share. I want every bit of your heart." I can tell she's fighting to keep her composure. "It's because I'm so selfish that I have to let you go. You need to figure out who you love more me or Renee."
"It's you!!! I know that."
"You can't say that for certain until you spend time with Renee."
"What do you mean by SPEND TIME with Renee?"
"I want you to do whatever you need to do to figure out how you really feel about her."
"Are you telling me to slee...."
"I'm telling you to do what's necessary to help you realize your true feelings. If being intimate with her is what you need to do, then...." She pauses as her voice cracks. "We aren't together, you won't be cheating on me."
"But... I can't... I can't do this. I love you."
"Yes, but you love Renee, too. You are just too scared to admit it.... Please if you care anything about me, about us, go work out your feelings for her. If you discover she's the one, then I wish you a life of happiness, but if you learn that you love me more then I'll be waiting for you."
"Liddy, please don't ask me to do this."
"I don't want to, but it's the only way. If you don't and I marry you, I will spend the rest of my life constantly worrying if you'll change your mind or if you're thinking of her anytime you're quiet. I can't do that to us or to Harper. So please, go deal with your feelings for Renee."
I'm crying now. She really means this. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. You didn't ask for this. None of us did, it just happened." She stands and chokes back a sob. "I only ask one thing, PLEASE don't hang out with her publically until you have made up your mind. I don't think I could handle the scandal right now, if the press finds out we aren't together. I'm not that strong."
"Of course I won't. I would NEVER do that to you."
"Thank you." She forces a tiny smile then turns and walks towards the kitchen.
"That's it? We're done?"
She shakes her head. "At least for now."
"But what about your ring?"
"What about it?
"It's your's."
"Keep it. I can't wear it because we are no longer together."
"But..."
"Put it some place safe. Depending on who you choose, you can have it reset into a ring for Harper some day."
I can barely see through my tears. "Speaking of Harper, what are we going to do about her? I still need you as her nanny and she loves you."
"I'm not leaving her. Liz has graciously agreed to let me watch Harper at her house for at least a few weeks. Which is great for me, because she'll meet you at the door when you drop Harps off and when you come to get her. I won't have to see you, which is the best thing for both of us. Unfortunately it means that you have to get up earlier to drive her to Liz's. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
"Don't worry about that."
"Thanks for being so understanding."
"No problem."
"Oh I'd like to drop by tomorrow to grab more of my things and some toys of Harper's, if that's okay? I'll do it when you are over to Renee's. Just text me when you leave. And please only TEXT me. No phone calls."
"Okay."
"Well, I think that's it. When you make your decision. You know where to find me, until then take care."
I watch helplessly as she walks away. "Wait!'
"What?"
"You can't go just yet." She looks at me curiously. "I need to do this." I run over, pull her close then kiss her putting every ounce of passion I can into it. She tries to resist at first, but finally she succumbs and returns my kiss with just as much ardor. I try to hold on to her for as long as I can, but she eventually lets go and steps back, turning for the door.
"Goodbye Hunter."
"Bye. I love you."
"I love you, too. More than you will ever know." She whispers before closing the door. Leaving me with nothing but a million questions and no answers.
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Sorry, I know this was so sad. I cried writing it.
Thanks for reading!
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