there's a name to this chapter! and you know what that means!THANK YOU thamisunderstoodfor this isane idea! i had to tweak it a litlle, so, how did i do?
Pein gave me an hour long lecture about how i was the weakes one here... i had to get strong... blah...blah.... more blah... blah....bleh...bleh....bleh....bleh...blah....blahbiddy....blah.....
so the guys tried to 'train' me. (if you could call it that) and it just ended in chaos. Itachi threw a fireball at me, i dodged it, the fireball hit Deidera square in the hair and now his head was on fire while Madara frantically searched for his Tobi mask, Kisame threw a wave of water at Deidera and it splashed Sasori's puppet, Sasori let out this epic war cry and charged at Kisame, Kakuzu punched Sasori square in the chest, Hidan stabbed Itachi, Itachi put Hidan under a Genjutsu and his Amateratsu was mis-aimed so Kisame's Samehada was covered in black flames, Pein used his Almighty Push and only suceeded in spreading the black fire, well, Zetsu heard to commotion, and i can only tell you that he was DISTRAUGHT that his garden had been destroyed, he was holding a vine-his wife? his kid?- and sobbing over it, then HIdan showed up and nearly killed us all with the god damn jeep....
"TOBI LET GO OF ME!!!!!!!" Tobi ran to the garage that i never knew they had, there was big shiny red jeep parked there, brand-new by the looks of it and we both got into it. Tobi took of the mask and now he was officially Madara, hotwired the jeep and we were off. the first thing Madara did with the jeep was run Hidan over with it.
"HOW DID THE KID GET MY JEEP?" Pein screeched. Then he spotted Madara. his Rinnengan eyes flashed with rage, but Madara used his teleportation jutsu.
"HEY! WE'RE IN THE SKY!" I screamed.
gravity was evil and dropped us. the impact was bouncy, and there for some reason this EVIL BAG exploded from the car and started trying to kill me.
Madara saved me from its evil clutches.
i ran out of the jeep and started on my new mission: building the words biggest sandcastle-dude, i'm in the desert, argo LOST AND LOST OF SAND!
i built my castle.
my castle was lonley and started to crumble away because it was so sad and lonely. so i built some sand-turtles, and then i bult The Great Wall of Sand to protect my queendom. The Great Wall of Sand was stupid and caved in on me.
Pein showed up out of nowhere and shot Madara through the chest with a gun. sparkly red crap exploded from Madara's chest.
THIS STUFF WAS STICKY!!!!!!!!!!!
Tobi decided to hold me hostage.
we went back to the lair and all hell had broken loose.
i ran into the base, going for the safety of my bed, but for some reason there was this old creepy dude in my bed. i freaked out. as if on cue the radio turned on "'cause i know pedophiles will try to rape me," said the raido.
"RAPIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i screamed.
"i'm a terrorist kid.
i take it back.
"TERRORIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(you've herd of prince charming right?)
the door exploded into bits, and amongst the rubble, standing brave and tall, all three feet of his smallness making him seem bigger, his black hair coated in shining blood that made his black hair look ever darker, his eyes full of utter horror, in my doorway sood-
"OH MY GOD! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" he shreiked.
"LOOK WHO'SE TALKING MATE!" i yelled back.
"how did you get away?" he asked me.
"i went through the roof. you?"
"i hid in the basement." he hunt his head in shame.
"dude, get a haircut. you look like jackie with long hiar." i told him.
we argued for about an hour, completly forgetting about the terrorist.
until Kisame walked in.
the terrorist grabbed me and pressed a knife to my throat. "i'll kill her if you do anyhting." the terrorist said.
Kisame's next words shocked me. "kill the kid then. she'd only get in the way." Kisame said.
"what the hell Kisame!" i screamed.
"Get in the way of what?" the guy asked.
Kisame smiled. "of your death." and then luged at the guy even though he was using me as a human shield. Kisame somehow sliced the guy in half without touching me. have you ever seen those action movies, where the guy gets stabbed or something and his cuts come spilling out? well thats what happened. his guts went flying all over the room. the smell of blood and skittles filled the room.
the wall exploded, to my disbelief, and to Kisame's great amusement, Pein and Madara were screaming and throwing punches because each one of them wanted to be the one to drive the car. (and they're calling me the childish one) Kisame left and came back with a camcorder. Madara looked up.
"smile." Kisame said.
Madara lunged. for some reason a lot o white stuff was around Madara's mouth and i screamed. "Madara has rabies!" and then i ran for it.
Pein Summoned a giant chiwawa-i know i spelled that wrong, sorry- and then all hell broke loose again. for no reason this deranged parrot showed up and started screeching at me.
"family are the only ones you can't trust! family are the only ones that you can't trust! family are the only ones you can't trust!" screeched the stupid parrot.
i knew that those words had no affect on me. my family was dead, and Hidan had been trying to kill me since day one. as if on cue, i felt someone grab me by the throat. Hidan tried to kill me yet again. he chased me around the lair trying to stab me.
even though the parrots words would never affect me, they kept ringing in my head. my family was dead. Kabuto had never confirmed that question, but it was better to think that they were dead, and then find out that they were alive, then to foolishly keep hope alive, but what did it matter? Kabuto had told me that i wasn't from the Mist. i'd been born somewhere else. i knew that my parents hadn't wanted me. they'd just left me in the Mist and forgotten about me. Kabuto himself had said that my parents had tried to put me up for adoption but failed. so what did it matter? like i was going to trust the people that had tried to put me up for adoption. i couldn't help but wonder what had been wrong with me, what had made them hate me so much. even if they did come back, i woudn't go with them. the Akatsuki were the only family i had.
i quickly forgot what the parrot had said as the freaking wall came down. i ran out of the empty room. everything was chaos for a long time.
once all the chaos had settled, Pein announced that we were moving to another lair that he had in another VIllage, in the Rain Village.
we all got into SUV with our stuff. i was the one with the least amount of things. i just had a small backpack with all my stuff. that was all that i owned. everyone else was choosing beteween all their possesion, but i could take all mine with me. i could just stuff it all in that little backpack. it was times like these when having very little possessions came in handy. i'd been able to take everything i owned with me in the backpack!-aside from my teddy. i was not loosing teddy. not again. i'd learned my lesson last time-Deidera had blown up my teddy because he's put a bomb in it-so now i knew that i had to keep my teddy close. i was psychotically possessive. i fell asleep once, and Kisame accidentally knocked my teddy away-i ended up biting his hand, and it did not taste good. it did not taste good at all.
apparently i chewed things while i slept becuase i woke up the next day with something in my mouth, i looked up to see a very surprised Orochimaru. i spit his hair out and Kabuto started laughing. Orochimaru did his hair up in a bun like a Geisha would wear the next night, and hid his hair under a shower cap. this amused Hidan to no end. he'd steal the shower cap from Orochimaru, an in fear for its life Orochimaru's hair would posses him and make him go physco trying to get the freaking shower cap back.
Hidan freaked out once when he found out that i'd eaten part of his cloak at night, he tried to stab me, but Itachi had rolled the window down and Pein made a sharp turn so Hidan went out the window. he was able to grab onto the rear view mirror on Pein's side and Pein nearly crashed the freaking car.
"SHE ATE MY HAIR!!!!" orochimaru decided to yell.
Konan and Kabuto gave each other weird glances and then Koan picked me up like i was a puppy and said. "she's just hungry," much to Orochimaru's disbelief.
Konan gave me a baggie full of fruit.
Orochimaru just stared at me in disbelief. He turned to glare at Pein, who just shrugged as if he couldn't possibly care for the state of Orochimaru's precious hair. it wasn't the first time hair had gone missing-Kakuzu had tried to sell Itachi's hair to his fangirls once- (i have nothing against Itachi, and yes, i know why he killed his clan)-and it had not gone well. Kakuzu had to beat the fangirls unconscious with a stick.
for no reason a song by TaTu showed up on the radio. it was 30 seconds, and you can imagine Konan's outrage that Tatu was playing. she hated any songs made by them i'd never really heard anything from them because Kabuto deemed the music as 'a bad influence' (i don't even know that group, a friend of mine wanted me to involve it in a chapter so she could find my story, i am making her find out which one it is via various inside jokes/ events that i have messed with in this)
i knew it because of Hidan, and Kabuto was not pleased. he threw a syringe full of some kind of acid at the stereo and it melted. it was nasty. Pein turned to stare at Kabuto for a moment and then went back to driving the car.
as if on cue this mentally deranged bird swooped in out of nowhere and made away with Hidan's hot pink boxers. laughter exploded inside the car. this was nuts-pardon the use of that naughty, naughty word.
as if on cue, i giant chicken showed up in front of us.
Itachi Uchiah was starving, so he lunged through the windshield and chased the poor chikcen aroudn for about an hour before catching it, gutting it, and then eating it. and then he got back into the car like absolutly nothing had happened and Pein started the engine up again. we drove away from the place where that poor chicken had died.